Going Cold turkey

[RobynGirl]

Hi everyone,

Is it possible to quit crossdressing by going "cold turkey" like you would when you quit smoking? If people quit smoking and don't miss it at all why can't you quit crossdressing and not miss that at all?

Thanks,

Robyn:brolleyes:

[Ms. Emily]

People who say they don't miss it are probably lying. No matter what they are quitting. They might not crave it anymore but they probably still miss the feelings that thing evoked.

[Jennifer Brooks]

I don't think so. The urge may come back for some. I thought I could quit cold turkey after my Father passed away but it came back a few weeks later and I have not turned back. Maybe some have stopped but why would you want to stop?

[April Simmons]

Dear Robyn,

From personal experience...NO.

Not sure I would even want to quit now.

April

[Edyta_C]

I tried and it did last for 9 years. Of course my will is strong enough to quit smoking cold turkey years ago after 4-5 years of 1-2 packs a day.

Quitting is not that hard. BUT what happens when you make an effort to suppress the femme part of you? I went into a serious depression and now need meds for it. Starting dressing again has reduced the need for meds. So I would say for many of us, that you can suppress it but at what cost?

Just my experience and opinion of course. I think if you have it, your are stuck with it for life. Suppressing part of your inner self does have a price.

Hugs Edy

[Karren H]

No!!

[Samantha Gunning]

Just from the particular situation that I'm currently in I've had to stop dressing as Samantha since October 08 and I'm having a hell of a time without that side of myself not being expressed and have found myself more irritable, depressed, and short tempered than if I had quit a hard drug... I'm not quite sure how long you have been dressing which is a big factor (the longer you do... the more you want too.) or what your reason's are for stopping but I've been at it since childhood and never wanted to stop and could never stop cold turkey for the rest of my life... Sam's just too big a part of me and will always be .... period. (thankfully its only for another 8 weeks or so).

[TSchapes]

if a person has gone cold turkey and never dressed again, they wouldn't be on this message board!

From what I understand it can come and go, but never goes away. This has been true for me these past 50 some years...


-Tracy

[rachelgirlnw]

Yeah, I second what others say. Suppression begets depression followed closely by binging, purging, and guilt (at least for me).

I'm much happier with my split persona! :battingeyelashes:

[JulieC]

Is it possible to quit crossdressing by going "cold turkey" like you would when you quit smoking? If people quit smoking and don't miss it at all why can't you quit crossdressing and not miss that at all?

Sure. Much in the same way you can force yourself to stop using a perfectly good arm, or leg. Try not using just your non-primary hand for a couple of hours. Really. Try it! That'll give you just a smidgen of a taste of how it will feel to repress this part of you.

As another poster above noted, if someone was successful in "curing" their CDing, they probably wouldn't be on this forum. But, in all the years I've been doing this, and with all the CDers I've talked to or met, I've not heard of one single CDer that successfully "cured" this aspect of themselves, nor has anyone I have ever talked to.

If there were a cure, the person would be making millions of bucks selling their services. There are a LOT of tortured soul CDers out there. Some of them here on this forum. If there were a "cure", we'd know about it.

Being a CDer is part of you. You can't stop it like an addiction. You can't stop it like it's a habit. You can't eventually get over the emotions of it like a long past ex-spouse. It is _part_ of you, and no amount of trying to stop it will make this part of you suddenly vanish.

Try not using your hand for a couple of hours and see how unnatural it feels. If you can get through that without once accidentally using your hand, try it for a day. That too will give you a clue how good you are at cold turkey quitting CDing. It won't work. Trust me.

[Michelia]

How many people do you know that have actually quit smoking cold turkey?

I would say the odds are about as a good quitting crossdressing cold turkey as they are for smoking, or alcoholism, or cocaine, or fast food ...

[RachelB.]

I gave up cigarettes over twenty years ago and on ocassion someone will walk with one lit and I just want to grab it from their mouth and take a drag. I truely beleive anyone who quits smoking and claims they don't miss it 1) didn't smoke very long, 2) has substituted another addiction for it, or 3) is lying.

I have a friend who started eating hard candy instead of smoking. He traded 2 packs of cigarettes for a large bag of Jolly Ranchers. His teeth are terrible know and and he is diabetic.

Quitting smoking is easy I did it many times. Staying quit is still a challenge on occasion.

I know I couldn't quit dressing and stay quit. It too has been tried.

[AmandaM]

I quit cigarettes, pot, and cocaine cold turkey 25 years ago. I still drink, but only minimally. I tried to quit crossdressing, but can't. Rots a ruck.

[Veronica75]

I've quit, cold turkey, for good, never to dress again. Only about 5 or 6 times...

[CharleneT]

I believe that it is a hard question to answer without some more facts.... could I quit if I had to - something or someone that truly mattered to me was threatened badly by it. Yes, I most definitely could, just as I could quit/change a lot about myself if I HAD to. Would I miss it ? YES!! Would I have relapses, probably. In a perfect world, were i get to do what i want, no, I could/would not quit. So it really depends on the facts.

[Sally2005]

Cold turkey is pretty tasty and makes a great club sandwich, but I don't think it applies to CDing. I'm really starting to believe the solution is to embrace it and accept it. Only then will the nagging desire loosen its grip. Like someone else said, its like trying to avoid using one's arm for the rest of your life. Just accept that the arm is there and use it. Try to suppress it and it will return 10 fold and you will have lost the time you could have used to learn how to deal with it. In my case, I started thinking about what life is about and what if I was supposed to CD for some spiritual reason...and never did?

[RWillow]

I quit smoking cold turkey over 20 years ago but now after a good meal or when I drink a cold beer I want a cigarette sooooooo bad.
I quit dressing so many times I've lost count and every time the urge came back and each time it took less time to return. I will never quit again.

Renyta

[countrygirl]

No!

[wishfulcd]

I tried a few times, but to no avail. Now, I came to terms, and have no intention of quiting again.

[Marilynn]

One of my early heroes was the jazz sax player John Coltrane. Trane was a huge talent, but at one point he was also a junkie and a bottle-per-day alcoholic. One day, he locked himself in his room, and told his wife and mother to just bring him food and leave him alone. When he left that room, he had quit dope and drinking. He went on to get interested in Eastern religions, and was a very spiritual person.

In spite of the above, he could not stop smoking tobacco - the addiction was too strong. :Pullhair:

So people can quit addictions cold turkey, but not everyone can quit every addiction. There are things that are in so deep that they just can't be rooted out.

[amyj]

CDing is something that's been a part of me for as long as I can remember. I very, very seldom acted on it, but it was always there. At the age of 35, I acted upon it.

So as country folks might say, the cow's out the barn now.

[inquisitiv]

Quite simply, I think no. For the very same reasons so many of us can not explain why we were attracted to femme things in the first place with a compelling drive. It's apparently part of our inner-being, and will be with us as long as we live.

"Resistance is futile..."

[harmony]

quit cold turkey!!just dont purge....

[Meghan]

In my mid teens, oh I'd say from 13 to 15 I counted days, then weeks and months since I had dressed even a little. I think I went something like 2 years between. I though about it every day, I was obsessed with it. Each night I would go to bed and be grateful I had made it another day...

After 3 purges, that was still the longest I have gone despite my hardest efforts...

Once we start, I don't think we can ever quit.

Meghan

[TrekGirl1701]

I think it depends on how much you crossdress in the first place. You probably could do it, but the urge will probably still be there.

Me? I haven't dressed in a few months and at the moment it isn't eating away at me and I could probably go quite a bit longer. But to say that I no longer have any interest in female clothing would be a big fat lie. There are just more important things going on in my life now that crossdressing doesn't seem so important.

[Pattie O]

I have had periods of not dressing but they seem to be happening less and less now!I cant see myself without being able to dress(even if it is mostly underdressing).I have purged quite a few times but have decided that I wont this time and just keep favourite items and not overbuy!(not real easy though!)

Pattie:daydreaming:

[vivianann]

You can never quit crossdressing, it is not a bad habit, crossdressing is an internal part of who we are, it is a part of our person just like being left handed, unfortunately because we are taught that boys dont wear dresses we try to suppress that part of our personality, for some of us the results can be devastating, we suffer from guilt, depression, drug and alcohol abuse, and inability to cope with life, and suicide. I did quit cold turkey to save my marriage, and as a result I went into a severe depression that caused me to lose everything. I did not dress for 12 years, after my marriage failed and I had lost everything that I had, I turned back to crossdressing, it was crossdressing that has brought me out of my severe depression, and now I am rebuilding my life, and I am the happiest I have ever been in many years.

[battybattybats]

We know that we have no definate certain examples of 100% long-term quit or cured CDs.

We know that many people who just plain try end up developing mental illness, depression, suicidal ideation and a number kill themselves. That even when quitting has failed that these mental health issues can then continue onwards for some time.

Therefore while its an individuals human right to decide to try and quit we should consider this:

* Trying to quit is gambling on winning an extreme-odds lottery where not-winning causes life-threatening harm. It is playing slow russian roulette.

* Mental Illness symptoms harm family and friends. Someone who accidentally develops mental illness is not responsible for that harm but choosing to try and quit knowing the odds is essentially choosing to risk that harm to others.

* Anyone reccomending or insisting on a CDs quitting or suppression or hiding etc of CDing once they are told these odds is knowingly risking almost certain guaranteed harm to the CDer and their entire family and friends. Even harm to their workplace!

So this leaves us some unsettling but as far as I can see inescapable conclusions:

* Even trying to quit is Immoral and is as exactly as ethically dubious as any other self-harming choice such as knowingly taking addictive harmful drugs like cocaine, heroin, methamphetamines etc as well as playing russian roulette (in front of your family) or habitually driving dangerously in a way likely to harm yourself and others.

* Anyone asking them to quit or severely restrict CDing is as immoral and unethical as a drug dealer in that they are for their own short-term benefit encouraging or demanding the other risk their life for almost guaranteed long-term harm. They are asking someone to risk their mental health and therfore their quality of life, their actual lives and the consequences upon all people connected to them.

* General social unacceptance is a life-and-death matter with every single person being responsible for acting to achieve it or they become culpable for the results.

Wow... that puts many SO's in a bind because as difficult as it may be for them to accept they actually have a huge moral and ethical obligation!

It also puts anti-CD people and in fact anyone who objects to CDing as being as bad as drug lords, murderers etc.

For that to be the case of course they must have been informed that quiting has an indescribably low chance of success if any at all while mental illness is highly likely. Once so informed these people, no matter how hard it may be for them to understand or accept, become morally and ethically responsible.

[Jess_cd32]

From what I've read quitting cd'ing is possible, I'm not sure I buy into that though myself, theories are just that, theories.
Basically if you really wanted to quit cd'ing, you'd first have to integrate the two sides of you into one with a happy medium. The male side would have to be dominate in this new "integration" and you would be able to express your 'feminine side' in other forms besides the actuall dressing. Good luck if you want to stop, that idea's not for me.
I don't have that link that I read this on, it was of no use to me.

[sterling12]

I quit smoking 18 years ago. Nothing like having a by-pass and lying in a Hospital Bed for two weeks with a collapsed lung will influence you more to quit that habit! But yes, at times The Urge comes back.

Much like people in AA, I never make the claim to be a "cured" smoker. First thing that those folks at AA Meetings do is give their first name and acknowledge that: "I'm an alcoholic."

And by inference, I'm would also acknowledge that I'm transgendered. I will be a Crossdresser until the day I die! I could "abstain" from wearing femme clothing tomorrow, but I would still truthfully be a crossdresser.

When we work toward self-acceptance we are doing the same things as Those folks in AA. We acknowledge whom and what we are. It's Amazing how well that simple idea works for so many different groups of people.

Peace and Love, Joanie

[Emily01]

yes i could and have.

but i would always miss it and did.

it's a big part of who i am as a person. it's like locking a big part of me away - a part that adds to me and makes me better i think.

[Hope]

Have you ever met a smoker who says they don't miss it, or at least suffer from cravings?

I have never been a smoker, but my mother was, and anytime I smell someone smoking Kools, especially if it is near a well chlorinated pool, I find myself inhaling WAY more than any respectable girl should.

If you are planning on "quitting" CDing "cold turkey," I will wish you luck, but I will also welcome you back in a few months. Seriously. Look around - you think we haven't all purged a few times? You will be back.

[Adrianna_Sofia]

I don't know if it was cold turkey or just being preoccupied with something else...I didn't dress up for a good two years during my last 2 years in nursing school...It was probably because of all the school work crammed with all those hospital duties...It's not that I didn't have the urge though as I looked and envied my classmates wearing their white hoses and wedge shoes or this cute intern who always dressed "girly"...But when I got my degree then and the summer vacation followed BAM! My secret duffel bag came out again...So in my experience,cold turkey is not the way...:)

[Freo_kerry]

If you want to stop then you really can do it, go for it.
If someone else tells you to do it then you'll probably fail, your heart won't be in it.

I was told "stop it you'll go blind" or words to that effect, it included words like continued employment, family, friends etc but it was their need for me to stop and comply with society. I did stop, then I got sacked by them,. my friends vanished and the images in my head never grew dimmer and the thoughts only clouded my daily activities. Walking down a mall and spotting a nice dress brings it back, or smelling a great perfume and wondering what type it is, or seeing a lingerie shop and trying to look out of the corner of your eye so the wife doesn't see you.:daydreaming:

As someone else said "repression.... becomes depression" or things denied become bigger than if you had them.

After nearly four years it is back, actually it never left it just had no clothes!The only difference is that this time I know what I want to look like and won't waste money on cheap alternatives. Purging is EXPENSIVE and a waste of resources, go green, environmentally friendly or whatever, just lock it away if you feel the need to stop and save a lot of money when you start again. :2c:

Freedom has to include the option of saying yes or no rather than "what do you want me to do?" In my case it only brought resentment and anger at being controlled and manipulated into complying with someone else's wrong theology, phobias, misinformation, and insecurity.

Kerry - out of the prison cell

[Kate Simmons]

Hmm--Then what I get from some of the responses here is that some feel that CDing is an addiction to self? Interesting.

[Cindy Lynn]

Just sitting here in my flannel nightgown, eating a smoked turkey breast sandwich and enjoying the thread.

Cindy

[Mirel]

I think it depends on how much you crossdress in the first place. You probably could do it, but the urge will probably still be there.
Before I came here, there were periods of a few months where I'd not even worn a pair of panties... But the desire was still there. Not sure how strong the pull would have been if there was not a box in the closet containing the other half of me; But it's probably not a good idea to go that route - in the likely event that the desire wins you over, replacing all that stuff... :eek: ('specially now, what with the forms and all :) )

[Samantha43]

Hmm--Then what I get from some of the responses here is that some feel that CDing is an addiction to self? Interesting.

I don't think crossdressing is an addiction. I believe it is something we are born with. Addictions are learned behaviors that we do consciously. Whether they are physical or emotional, addictions take time to develop.

I know for me at least, I had a strong desire to crossdress before I ever tried it. Therefore it is a need I was born with. Now, that's not to say that it can't become an addiction. Like everything else, do it often enough and it may become an addiction.

My thoughts are that it is a need that we are born with. Over time, as we feed that need, the addiction may develop and we may find ourselves "needing" to crossdress more often and at higher levels.

Because we were born with the need and have felt the sweet rewards of crossdressing, I don't believe it is something that we can ever stop.

Okay, I'm rambling on......But that is my :2c: worth.....

[RobynGirl]

Hi everyone,
Thank you for all you replies and keep them coming they are very interesting:battingeyelashes: I thought I was only a CD but really feel deep inside I am more TS. People have been asking why I just don't quit and I try to explain how I feel inside but they don't seem to understand. So keep your replys coming!:daydreaming:

Thanks,
Robyn

[Jocelyn Quivers]

No, you might be able to quit for a few days, weeks, months, or even years. In the end it will always come back. It's best to just accept and embrace it as a part of you. Trust you'll feel much better and save yourself a lot of stress and misery.

[alexmusic]

It depends on the person and situation, I was able to quit my cigarette habit cold turkey, I smoked a pack a day for 10 years but I did substitute it with food (the good thing is now I am a hell of a cook) but I do miss it from time to time I just know it’s a nasty habit that is bad for me.

Crossdressing is different, not really an addiction but prt of who I am and I can stop doing it cold turkey and for long periods of time but that does not mean I’ve quit, it is just the situation forces me to do it and I am sure a lot of ladies here can relate.

For me situations that force me to stop can be going on tour and having to share close, cramped quarters for a while with a bunch of other people or going to visit my folks and staying with them I am sure the possibilities are endless but I do find that if I go long periods of time without CD’ing, like Rachel said, suppression begets depression.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

From personal experience, (real personal experience) I can tell you - you may

be able (if your spouse is demanding you to) to stop crossdressing for a

while, BUT you can never stop forever - IT WILL RETURN and when it does,

IT will come stronger than ever - IT WILL - whatever you decide to do, DO

NOT PURGE your wardrobe ( I did and I'm sick over it ) - You may need or

want in the future - Actually, I can say, you WILL return - it is inevitable.


JoAnne Wheeler

[Sweet Cindy]

Anytime someone says "cold turkey", I get hungry for a sandwich.

I've tried to quit many times. I've gone years without dressing. But Cindy's always hiding in there, waiting to come out again.

[Patricia1]

As Mae West said, "I generally avoid temptation unless I can't resist it". It strikes me as impossible to go "cold turkey" on yourself, without possibly the most dire of consequences. Be yourself - who else can you be?

[Jannette H]

quit cold turkey!!just dont purge....

Lady's, I've stopped for a while many of times and a couple of times when I thought It's over it's not and almost purged it all. Never will I do that again. I believe we all get to the point we just want to stop for a while and take a break from it. This is apart of our lives not our lives. I guess for some of us it is. :)

Jannette H

[Helen H. Heels]

Thats it!! I believe.
You can quit dressing but never lose the need or desire. I tried during 8 years
of marriage but found myself fantasizing frequently and then being sneaky.
Hugs,
Helen.

[Cindy Lynn]

I knew a bulimic girl who purged every time she ate cold turkey. It did nasty things to her teeth. After seeing her smile, I got to tell you I wouldn't recommend purging cold turkey.

[2b.Lauren]

As others have said I think it can be done. My dad at the age of 53 years old decided to quit smoking. I remember that day very well. I was working with him, he threw the cigs on the desk and said that is it, I am not going to smoke ever again. He never did.

The times I have stopped dressing was not what I would have considered an effort on my part to stop or quit. I just went through a period where I did not dress, or only wore under garments. I have purged a couple of times after a long time of not dressing. I went a long time between the time my daughter was born up to when she about 12 or so. I did purge then, but I did not have a great deal of stuff. I seem to be a lot more active now with my dressing than in most past times. I have also purchased more things like forms, and am going to buy my very first wig this month. I guess I was always then more statisfied with just underwear. Now that is not enough! So I don't see me looking at quitting anymore!

[BekiJ]

I believe that it is a hard question to answer without some more facts.... could I quit if I had to - something or someone that truly mattered to me was threatened badly by it. Yes, I most definitely could, just as I could quit/change a lot about myself if I HAD to. Would I miss it ? YES!! Would I have relapses, probably. In a perfect world, were i get to do what i want, no, I could/would not quit. So it really depends on the facts.


I believe this sums it up pretty well. With the right incentive, you can change behaviors. Now would the desire go away? Probably not.

It is all about choice. Income taxes - you choose to pay them or not pay them. Don’t pay them and there are consequences. But paying them is still a choice.

Any one not dressed right now is choosing to not dress. Perhaps they don’t feel like it. Perhaps the consequences are too high.

Choices and will power. Strong survival mechanisms.

Hugs
BekiJ

[AmandaM]

For the record, I don't miss or desire cigarettes one bit. They turn me off when I smell them. Yuk. CDing, when I tried to quit, was like trying to quit looking at hot girls.

[CD Susan]

Comparing quitting smoking and quitting cd'ing is not a valid comparison. They are two completely different situations. Being addicted to tobacco can be cured, millions of people have done it. There is no cure for cd'ing! It is something that is part of our nature and will be with us for life. Those that make claims that they can quit are only fooling themselves. If that is true then what are they doing on this forum? I think it is safe to assume that most of us here have tried to quit before and possibly numerous times and we are all still here and relating to others that are like us. Some of us here need to face the reality of this.

[JenJenNumber9]

This is far more realistic. Try to get dressed once a week or every other day or once a month or twice a year or whatever works best for you and try to discipline yourself to stick to that more or less.

This may be easier to do if you get at least partly out of the closet. For example, if I go through the effort of getting pretty, I'm gonna walk out that door. The idea of getting pretty and not being with people no longer holds any appeal to me. Because of this, the time it takes to get ready, and my busy life, I have trouble finding time to CD rather than trying to stop CDing so much. And make no mistake about it : I love getting girly.

Hmmm. I think I need a personal assistant or something.

Good luck.

[Alisha Dayle]

i think the first thing to quitting anything is the true desire to or the real distaste in what it does to you, so if you really want to quit and are not feeling forced to in some way then in my opinion you are not a true cd, also it is not a habbit its part of you such the same as talents and other drives and desires that make you who you are, other example would be a hetro male who craves women sure he can quit having sex but he will still want it and his sexuality does not change because he's not having sex. thats part of my opinion anyway on this subject

Your friend

Alisha

[Jessinthesprings]

Hi everyone,

Is it possible to quit crossdressing by going "cold turkey" like you would when you quit smoking? If people quit smoking and don't miss it at all why can't you quit crossdressing and not miss that at all?

Thanks,

Robyn:brolleyes:

I don't think CDing is an addiction. If anything its a compulsion. Like OCD or what not.

[Annemarie]

You can quit crossdressing but you can't quit wanting to.

Anyway, why would anybody want to give up something that is such fun, harmless and not too expensive?
I agree with the above sentiments, Cding is a state of mind that we aquired in childhood, becoming with time part of our psyche, even if we do it very rarely.
Smoking tobacco is just an addiction to a drug and with minimum willpower is possible to give up, millions have done it without fuss, I have and rarely miss it.

[Marilynn]

I agree with the above sentiments, Cding is a state of mind that we aquired in childhood, becoming with time part of our psyche, even if we do it very rarely.
Smoking tobacco is just an addiction to a drug and with minimum willpower is possible to give up, millions have done it without fuss, I have and rarely miss it.

So you're forgetting the smokers who kept puffing until the day they died of lung cancer or emphysymia? The smokers who smoke through the hole in their necks after surgery? It wasn't a minimum of will power for them. Many have quit smoking, but very few without fuss. You can't generalize about crossdressing from your own experience, any more than you can about smoking.

[Annemarie]

So you're forgetting the smokers who kept puffing until the day they died of lung cancer or emphysymia? The smokers who smoke through the hole in their necks after surgery? It wasn't a minimum of will power for them. Many have quit smoking, but very few without fuss. You can't generalize about crossdressing from your own experience, any more than you can about smoking.
Since tabacco was found to be a very addictive and eventually deadly drug in the 1950s, millions of people HAVE given up smoking without patches etc. A minority have not and no doubt died prematurely, I'm just saying that giving up smoking is not that hard to do, examples of crossdressers giving up cding and never thinking about it or doing it again are almost non-existant.

[Lissa Stevens]

Speaking strictly for me I am a former smoker and a life long crossdresser. When I quit smoking it was cold turkey and it took quite awhile to stop the cravings which were due to what amounts to a drug addiction.
I tried several times to quit crossdressing and I have never been able to go much longer than 3-6 months before the urge comes back. The longer I deny it the stronger it becomes until I feel like I'm going to explode. Crossdressing, and once again I am speaking for me, is not an addiction. It is simply who I am. I am TG also, so I believe it to be genetic. I can no more quit crossdressing than I can quit breathing. Whether this was a mistake of nature, proof that God has a sense of humor or this is the way I am supposed to be, I don't know. All I do know is this isn't just a Bad Habit I can quit.

[Christina Horton]

I say NO NO NO NO NO NO F$@KING WAY!!!!!! You cut your legs off you will miss them, but you can't just grow them back, if YOU want to quit , then quit, But WARNING WARNING DANGER WILL ROBERSON DANGER , If you do don't purge your clothing just box them up and find a safe place to put them and forget about it. AND WHEN the need to dress come's back , and it will come back you'ur not starting at square one. Maybe the thought that you can go back to it any time might keep you sain. So good luck hun. don't be afraid to come back if you get sad or depressed and need cheering up. HUGGS. :hugs: :canada:

[Carly D.]

I think you can go cold turkey.. I went cold turkey when I was in highschool.. I threw everything out, which then was like three or four pairs of extremely runny pantyhose.. and didn't ever look back.. the desire never came back to cross dress again.. at least not with those clothes.. the feeling returned some five months after graduation.. and then I purged again with the feeling that this is it.. never again will I dress in these clothes.. and I have to say that I haven't ever worn those clothes again.. but I of course did buy more, and now with stupidity dropped I don't purge.. I do purge but not all my clothes.. I do go cold turkey for a day sometimes.. maybe even two.. but I am hooked.. hey.. it's not heroine.. or crack.. it's ok.. just think it through before you say never again...

[Deb The Brunette]

and with all the CDers I've talked to or met, I've not heard of one single CDer that successfully "cured" this aspect of themselves, nor has anyone I have ever talked to.

If there were a cure, the person would be making millions of bucks selling their services. There are a LOT of tortured soul CDers out there. Some of them here on this forum. If there were a "cure", we'd know about it.



Well I for one sure don't want to be "cured" I love my life :c9:

[Kris Vasquez]

I quit cold turkey in 1985 (after several purges over the years). It is like smoking. The urges do diminish. They never went away but were much easier to push away. I went until 2005. I missed out on a lot of life during those years but I also experienced a lot as well.

[sissystephanie]

I have to disagree with many on here regarding quiting, cold turkey or otherwise. You can quit if YOU REALLY WANT TO!! That is the key. The vast majority really don't want to quit, whether you are talking about smoking or being a CD.

Some years ago, before my wife passed away, I did quit being Stephanie cold turkey. I told my wife I didn't think it was fair to her, or our children, that I had another identity. So I purged everything, several thousand of dollars of clothing, shoes, etc. Some local charities really made out. My wife said it made her kind of sad, but if it was what I wanted then it was O.K.!

Five years later she told me that she really missed Stephanie, and wanted me to start dressing again if I would. She reminded me of all the fun times she and Stephanie had together as two girls. I had never had any depression over not dressing, since I had just put it completely out of my mind. but after listening to her, I agreed to try it again. As I have said many times before, I do not dress for any sexual reasons. I just like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. My wife has been gone for over 4 years now, and I am still dressing. But I have told my darling GGF, who does know I am a CD, that I will stop any time she asks me to. And I will, because I know I can!! As I said earlier, it is willpower that is needed! You either have it or you don't!! I do!!:)

[battybattybats]

I have to disagree with many on here regarding quiting, cold turkey or otherwise. You can quit if YOU REALLY WANT TO!! That is the key. The vast majority really don't want to quit, whether you are talking about smoking or being a CD.

Ah the danger of projection-as-empathy. Sorry but you cannot assume you are not exceptional or that you may have a less common form of crossdressing desires that are more easilly suppressed!

Subjective experiences are valueless for determining the situations of others.

You assume you succeeded because you had made a more genuine choice.

I do not think that those who have killed themselves because they could not quit had less drive or determination than you.

Now it is true that people have different baselines of Willpower and Resilliance. thats important to recognise because it means that we cannot blame or look down on thhose who are born with and possess less will and capacity to adapt or withstand trauma and suffering without developing mental illness.

And through my teens I rarely dressed. I supressed it for months at a time maybe dressing 3 times a year on average and barely ever thinking about it. But it didn't genuinely fade, it just seeped in deeper and built up pressure in the unconcious. That's how repressed desires ussually work. A well understood psychological phenomena.

Just because conciously desire seems to fade it does not mean that it is not there unconciously. And such things pushed into the unconcious frequently do cause mental illness or increase the risks of it.

I was told by a psychologist that I fell into several high-risk catagories for depression because of my disability, my abusive relationship and my repressed CDing. It did not guarantee i'd get depression but I have very high resilliance. However it is not limitless and if I stayed in that relationship I would certainly have broken. The point is that each of those things do result in depression for many of the people in those circumstances and the more overlapping and the longer they persist for the higher the odds.

So even a handful of exceptions does not prove that it is capable for everyone or even a moajority. Nor does a lack of experience of deleterious effects prove there was no increased risk of them.

[bruste]

I quit smoking on Chantix though I have tried to do cold turkey on two occasions, but of no use. I have smoked for around 5 yrs with pack a day. Thanks to chantix and the support my family provided me. It really helped me to get over my nicotine addiction and I don’t feel craving anymore. There is one thing which I would like to share and which helped me a lot initially, try having a glass of water when you feel craving the most. It a tough road but it's worth so best luck to all those who want to give up smoking.

[Lilia_CD]

I have tried quitting a couple of times I always come back. I don't think it is the same type of urge as smoking.

[DianneRoberts]

I quit every day, for a few hours, once in a while a few days.....

Might as well quit chocalot..............

:hugs:
Dianne

[Cary]

Yes, You can go cold turkery(for a period of time). DON'T BE FOOLED, IT WILL COME BACK!

[Deborah Jane]

I tried quitting crossdressing and going cold turkey not long after my c/ding came back, the end result was that i ended up very depressed and became very aggresive with people!

I also tried to go cold turkey and stop smoking too, i ended up getting depressed and aggresive then too!

So at the end of the day my advice is.....

If it feels good, just do it!!!

[Annamarie B]

I had purged and been away from dressing for many years until a bit over a year ago. But I stumbled across a tgirl's Flickr page during an unrelated search, and I was drawn back in with the urges now being stronger than ever. I now wear wigs, shoes, dresses, and makeup (and enjoy it immensely!) where i used to be strictly a lingerie fancier. You may be able to suppress your longings to a degree, but they're always going to be in there somewhere!

[bianncats]

I've tried I don't know how many times...at birthdays, after fights, upon my daughter's graduation last week...when I got married, but every time there is a trigger...last one was at the laundry...saw a woman doing her laundry and bras and panties came into view in one of the dryers...and here I am today.

I won't ever purge again...I threw out some fabulous items that V.S. won't ever have again.

Bianncats

[Stacye Rose]

Right, wrong, or indifferent, I have found that one of the side effects of taking anti-depressants is that they seem to severely curtail my desire to crossdress. I have tried to go without my ADs but my behavior toward other people deteriorates dramatically and rapidly. I dress usually once or twice a year, and I'm fine with that. My life has gone quite happily along in this vein for 17 years.

I'm not making any judgements, reccommendations, or suggestions here. I'm just sharing my experience.

[Ralph]

If you want to stop then you really can do it, go for it.
And that sums it up quite nicely. If it's important enough to you, you will do it. Interesting how your question provoked so many people into saying it would be impossible for each of them... but you're not asking if I could quit, or bbb, or any of the others.


I was told "stop it you'll go blind" or words to that effect
Which brings to mind the old joke that ends with "Could I at least do it until I need glasses?"

I do agree that it's very unlikely the craving will go away completely, no matter how firm your resolve. But if there's something (or someone) in your life more important than crossdressing, concentrating on that priority will keep you occupied enough that the urges won't matter so much any more.

I'm kind of torn about the purging. On the one hand, keeping your stash "just in case" admits defeat before you even started; on the other hand so many of us have purged "for the last time and I'm never going to start again" repeatedly that we know it gets mighty expensive to constantly throw everything out "forever" only to be back again buying new stuff the next month, or year, or whatever.

So I guess if you have a lot of cash invested in your wardrobe, you could bundled it all up in boxes, tape 'em up securely, and bury 'em somewhere that it would take hours to get it out again - we have an outdoor storage shed piled floor to ceiling with boxes; if I put something on the bottom at the back of that pile it would take me DAYS to get it out again. By then the urge to backslide would be gone!

On the other other hand (I have lots of them), if it costs you a bundle to recover from purging, that provides an extra financial incentive to stay on the wagon.

In the end, it's all up to you and your priorities. What is the relative risk of stopping vs. not stopping? Which would cause you the most grief? If stopping will make your life better, I bet you can do it.

ralph

[Carly D.]

I have to disagree with many on here regarding quiting, cold turkey or otherwise. You can quit if YOU REALLY WANT TO!! That is the key. The vast majority really don't want to quit, whether you are talking about smoking or being a CD.

Some years ago, before my wife passed away, I did quit being Stephanie cold turkey. I told my wife I didn't think it was fair to her, or our children, that I had another identity. So I purged everything, several thousand of dollars of clothing, shoes, etc. Some local charities really made out. My wife said it made her kind of sad, but if it was what I wanted then it was O.K.!

Five years later she told me that she really missed Stephanie, and wanted me to start dressing again if I would. She reminded me of all the fun times she and Stephanie had together as two girls. I had never had any depression over not dressing, since I had just put it completely out of my mind. but after listening to her, I agreed to try it again. As I have said many times before, I do not dress for any sexual reasons. I just like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. My wife has been gone for over 4 years now, and I am still dressing. But I have told my darling GGF, who does know I am a CD, that I will stop any time she asks me to. And I will, because I know I can!! As I said earlier, it is willpower that is needed! You either have it or you don't!! I do!!:)


But it will always be there.. it will always be a fight... it will always be there.. like water.. or maybe something else.. what's my point here??

[LilSissyStevie]

Of course you can quit! But, you're not likely to find many success stories here on a crossdressing site. What you'll find here are people who either don't want to quit (like me) or people who failed to. You may as well go to a skid row bar and ask if it's possible to stop drinking.

[Lisa Golightly]

Batty's right you need an iron will or pure fear to make you drop something like a stone... I've quit both smoking (10 years) and drinking (nearly 3 years) but both were for health reasons and fear made both easier than otherwise...

Smoking was waking up to pains in the chest and not being able to breathe... Drinking was being told my undeclared 'alcoholic' state mean't that I couldn't start hormones until some of the damage I had inflicted on myself in my attempts to escape the transsexual thoughts I had was given time to right itself... I'm still not on average doses of hormones after two years, but I'm getting there slowly... I do still have a odd glass of wine every couple of months but I rarely finish it... I have goals I want to achieve and alcohol prevents them.

So, yes, given the right reasons and a cast iron will I think it possible to quit anything. In the case of your dressing, or my transsexualty, I don't know if denying it is strictly healthy... Well it certainly wasn't in my case... It was literally killing me. I think with simple dressing, if you really want to stop, then you need someone you can talk to about the urges you'll undoubtedly experience somedays... You can't help them, but you can talk your way through them...

Best of luck babes :)

Lisa x

[Linda Laman]

Sorry. This is part of you - not an addiction. Just accept who you are and to hell with the rest.

[Claire Cook]

Was it Mark Twain who said "Quitting smoking is easy .. I've done it lots of times.."?

I've gone through long periods when I didn't dress, but I'd see something I really liked, or lingerie in a laundromat or department store, and I'd start thinking about it. I remember a girl friend who once apologized for wearing padded bras ("My clothes fit better") -- this was during a non-dressing period. She left some clothes in my apartment when she was on a trip ... and guess what? Ummm .. they did fit better.

Now that I've fully accepted myself, it's not a question of quitting ... it's just me.

[sissystephanie]

YES, you can quit, if you really want to! But the bigger question is, why would you want to quit?

I did quit being a crossdresser "cold turkey" some years ago. I only started up again after my dear late wife begged me to! She missed her "girl" friend Stephanie. It takes a lot of detirmination to quit, but it can be done. But WHY?

[Michelle 51]

Yes it is.I've gone 2 or 3 day's a couple of time's.

[Laci6]

your gorgeous Rachel!

[Crystal Alberta]

It seems to me that we're talking about two very different things here. Smoking is a physiological addiction to a substance. Crossdressing is something much more personal, and much less "physical" than that (even though it may be manifested physically). For most of us, it's an intrinsic part of who we are. Overcoming a dependence on some physical substance is one thing, but it's something quite different to change who you are, or to suppress your most basic thoughts, feelings, and desires.

Now, I'm not saying it can't be done. I believe it is possible to control our actions, if not our desires - look at those who take vows of celibacy - but as I've never tried to give up dressing, I don't have any personal perspectives to offer on the matter. For me, the more important point is that we need to stop thinking of our crossdressing as an addiction to be overcome, and to start accepting it as a part of our loves. (For those who think I am taking an overly rosy and impractical view, I do realize that the world does not make this easy.)

Crystal

[sometimes_miss]

I don't think CDing is an addiction. If anything its a compulsion. Like OCD or what not.
Nope. If it were, you could treat it like you treat OCD. But that doesn't work.
It's not an addiction either. I think that the difficulty in identifying the mechanism at work is most likely because there are more than one, and it's often impossible to identify who is affected by what.

I don't think I could stop without having something else take it's place; for me, it's a defense mechanism to stress. As long as there is any stress in my life, I'm going to want to crossdress. I might be able to crossdress less, but I don't think the desire will ever go away. Then of course, suppressing the urge to crossdress causes more stress, and the feedback loop becomes self perpetuating.

So, to answer the original question, no, you can't just stop crossdressing without any ill effects, not permanently anyway. But who knows, maybe you'll be the first to discover a way to do it. Give it a shot. It doesn't do any harm to try. But, maybe keep a bra and panties in a glass case handy, you know, so you can break it open in case of emergency.

[Bootsiegalore]

NFW!

Tara

[Charla McBee]

Take a look at my first post. I had to launch my most massive purge when I went to college and two years later my family left the house I grew up in and I told myself "maybe this will be the end of it". But it wasn't and it never will be. I haven't had a proper outfit in five years and my presence here is evidence of the resulting madness.