Starting to tell others

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

I recently sent an email to a friend of mine, a woman named Tammy who've I've known for many years. Well I wished her happy birthday in an email, my signature picture is of Kimberly, but signed my real name Michael. Well anyway she asked about who the picture is of, so I replied to her. My response was this:

Hi Tammy,

Since you asked about the picture, I will tell you who it is, it is me.

There are people in this world who are transgendered, I am one of those people. Transgendered individuals are simply people whose physical gender does not match up with their brain gender. The medical community at this time believes that hormone fluctuations while the baby is developing in the womb, cause's the baby to develop the physical characteristics of one gender but may have the opposite brain gender. In this case for me, it created in me a brain gender which is feminine, but whose physical appearance is male. The unfortunate thing is this, being physically male but feminine in thought, one goes thru life, essentially living a lie. You want to be a woman, but society says you're a man. You are confused and at times depressed. In my case I went thru life living as a man, marrying and having children.

I've known inside for 45 years that I'm feminine in nature, but not knowing anything about being transgendered or transsexual I lived as a man. Part of my femininity came out in the form of crossdressing which I engaged in thru the last 45 years of my life. When I was dressed up, a peaceful calming tranquility enveloped me, I was me and it felt right. Nevertheless, I felt shame afterwards because of what society says. In the last couple of years I've come to the conclusion I am feminine and have always been. I have become more comfortable with my inner feminine gender and this has brought me to this point in my life, to decide to transition. Right now I am having gender counseling with the goal of starting HRT (Hormone replacement Therapy) later this year.

In fact you are probably the first person outside of my immediate family, who I have told this too, I am still the same person you have known for years and I realize this is a massive revelation for you to absorb, but I hope that you can still be a friend to me, even as I become the person I was meant to be. My female side goes by the name Kimberly.

I hope you can still be my friend. If you want to talk feel free to call me.

With Love, Kimberly

I have always found it easier to communicate difficult topics in words, so I hope at this time she remains a friend. As she is probably the first non-relative that I have told about Kimberly and my desire to transition this is going to be interesting to see how she responds. I pray that she responds well. I will let everyone know when I know..

Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[Victoria Anne]

Kimberly I do hope and must believe that our true friends will understand and accept us for who we are. Myself I have only told my mother,sister and one friend. My friend is still my friend and ,well family is always there. I have already begun taking hormones and have sort of descided to let the world figure it out for themselves as I am who I am and I know that I am a good person. Good luck with your transition.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

And just to say, Victoria Anne is a beautiful name and by the way, my daughters name is Victoria Anne. Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[Eileen]

Nice letter Kimberly! I hope you friend come back with a positive response. All the best, as you continue your journey to become who you have always been.

Eileen

[Chelseaswpa]

I am slowly telling people- My mom, sister, ex knew when we got divorced- but have told some selective cousins and two co-workers know. Unfortunately my occupation would not allow me to come out to everyone. Like Victoria though, am hoping to start hormones later this year, and well eventually I guess they will figure it out!

[GypsyKaren]

I think you did a great job in explaining about yourself, that was very well said indeed.

Karen :g1:

[Leanne2]

Well said Kimberly! That was a touching e-mail that you sent to your friend. Now post what her reaction was. Hugs, Leanne

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

It was only sent last night and hope to have a response by tonight or by this weekend. I'm praying for a good response, but you all know how this sometimes goes. :battingeyelashes:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Just a really terrific letter Kim.....We all know how hard it is and are here for you..

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

It was more than I could have imagined...I am so happy right now. Here is Her reply:

Dear Kimberly,
First of all, I wanted to thank you for trusting enough in our friendship to allow me to share in your current challenges, hopes and dreams. It means a lot to me that you trust me to open up about something so personal and private.

I don't think you should regret the choices you made while you were living as a male. You made two beautiful children and they are certainly blessings to the world. So, even though it feels wrong to be in the body that you have, there are certainly two creations that you benefitted from by having the attributes of a male. Even though it felt like a lie, I do believe that God designed you in a way that let you experience both the joys of being a man, husband, and father and now soon to be a woman. I know you don't regret the decisions you have made in your life and am happy that you are now pursuing what your mind is telling you you should be.

45 years is a very long time to have harvested feelings that rundeep to the core of you. DO NOT FEEL ASHAMED of finding something that will give you peace and tranquility. I havebeen dealing with depression ever since I was a young girl anddo not have access to feelings of joy and peace andserenity. I have been in counseling for most of my adult life and am on a range of anti-depressants, anti-anxiety, andti-dwelling medications which seem to keep mefrom not wanting to kill myself (most days). If I could find something that would make me feel att peace with myself and with the world I wouild not let anything, whether it be society, family, friends, etc. get in the way of that. Kimberly, you do what you need to do to find that feelingof happiness and don't let anyone or anything make you feel ashamed. I can think of much worse things for a person to do than dress in the clothing of the opposite sex. You are not hurting anyone. You are notbreaking the law. You are expressing your innermost self and I, for one, feel that you need an outlet for all of these feelings you are going through. YOU GO GIRL!!!

I'm glad you found a gender counselor who will help you to transition through to be the real you. I must admit that I am not very educatied on what transitioning entails. Can I ask you if you plan on having surgery to remove the male genitaliea and then having antoher surgery to build female genitalia? Or will you simply start taking hormones and living and dressing as a woan on the outside whiel still maintaining all of the male attributes on the inside? Forgive me if these questions are too personal. I'm trying to learn as much as I can so that I can supporti you ove rthe next few years as you go through your changes.

Can I ask about the picture? Is it you digitally altered to reflect what you will eventually look like or is this a picture of a woman you would like to one day be? She is beautiful. Love the hair, stunning eyes.

I hope this finds you well and if you ever need to talk life please call me. I will do my best to listen, undersand and counsel given my limited knowledge of the situation. What I can do, without hesitation, is talk to you as a friend, one whom I have known for amny, many years. Thank you again for sharing this with me. I am always here for you.

Love,
Tammy

P.S. Please forgiven the number of typos. My internet is really acting up and is very slow.


I like the letter on so many front's, first she addressed me as Kimberly, and she complimented my picture (see Attached Picture) saying she was very beautiful, loved the hair and said she had stunning eyes. She did not know it was me, thought it was a picture of someone else that I wanted to look like.. Tonite I will email her back and let her know the picture is me, with only minor alterations, noise smoothing and some brightness adjustments.. and answer some of her questions. Maybe I'll call her.

This is the first person I have told about Kimberly and the desire or need to transition and I could not have asked for a nicer response than what my friend gave..

Kimberly :):battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes::battingeyel ashes:

[Sharon]

Tammy sounds like a wonderful person, Kimberly -- no wonder she's a good friend of yours. May everyone else you tell be as open to you as she is. :)

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

And a good friend. She has had some bad things happen in her life, from having special needs children, a failed first marriage and other events which have left her not thinking much of herself, where she is in constant counseling etc..

But when you meet her she is one of the nicest and sweetest women you could meet. I am very happy to have her as a friend. I can only hope that as I tell others about Kimberly, my desire to transition, that their response would be as nice as Tammy's. I realize that may not always be, but it is nice to have the first person I've told everything too, to be so accepting.

Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

been emailing each other everyday, catching up on news and other things. But most importantly she is very happy for me and we are planning to get together to talk in person. She is curious and has lots of questions to ask, she say's some are private and would prefer to ask in person. She say's they are good questions.

We are also planning a makeup session with a good friend of hers who is a Mary Kay rep. It will be a one on one session and my friend will be there as well, they will show me the ropes of doing makeup. I can't wait. I need to get better at covering up the facial hair and doing the eyes better..

The joy of having one beautiful friend to talk too is amazing and is beyond thought's to express right now.

Kimberly :battingeyelashes:

[Rifkinn]

The joy of having one beautiful friend to talk too is amazing and is beyond thought's to express right now.

Yes, having at least one friend around that is totally understanding and relaxed about everything is a very special feeling. I'm lucky that I have 2 although one is moving away this summer.

[Carole Cross]

Congrats Kimberly, you weere very brave in coming out to your friend and it's nice to knoe that she is very understanding and accepting you as you are. :hugs: