Need help - Advice - Support

[Koka]

Hi, :)

My name is Kokona and I am a new girl in the forum. I just joined the Forum and I don't have any picture of me uploaded yet. I am planning to do so very soon. In the meantime, I would like to refer to you the reason of my question. I have been enjoying the art of cross-dressing on and off pretty much all my life. The feelings, the sensuality, the expressions and frustrations and stress that brings being a cross dresser, have pretty much caused positive impacts and also negative impacts. However, one of the most negative impacts or I should better say difficult situation is the fact that all my cross-dressing sessions have always suddenly been terminated by the irresistible urge . All these years, my precious hours of preparation (shaving, make up, etc) have been literally eliminated by this uncontrollable urge to .
It always ended and still end up with a tremendous feeling of weakness, tiredness and a terrible headache that lasts all day. :doh: I have to sleep until the following day in order to feel better. Not even the sex I have with my lovely wife has made me feel so intensely aroused. I feel frustrated, even though my wife recently kind of accepted my cross-dressing (she knows me all my life and she knows I have always had a tendency for women clothes, in fact I did dress a couple of times in front of her many years ago)and that has given me a great relief and happiness. However, I still cannot control this issue. It is not allowing me to enjoy being the girl I want to be. What is even worse, It has even started affecting my health due to the in my prostate has started (I am 38 years old by the way) hurting and being inflamed (prostatitis) twice in less than 18 months. I am currently recuperating from an inflamed prostate. Today I shaved my legs and I just the fact that it is so annoying that just a thought of getting dressed and beautiful makes my prostate to feel uncomfortable. I am VERY frustrated and SAD. I wish I could find a solution for my problem, I wish I could enjoy my cross-dressing sessions without to have to make it into a sexual thing. I want to be able to enjoy being a woman fully and without this inconvenience.
I can’t even enjoy the sensuality of wearing a sexy lacy thong or bikini, I can’t wear dresses or tight skirts with comfort. Some of you may say, yeah but, isn’t cross-dressing a sexual thing? Well, my logic tells me that for instance love is not always about sex; one can love a woman or man without the need to have sex, am I right or wrong? I would apply the same logic to my cross-dressing, but it is stronger than me. Anyway, this is not the topic of my question here, the bottom line is that unless I find a solution to this situation, I am afraid I will have to abandon my cross-dressing, I don’t want to hurt any part of my body and much less an important organ and therefore become a burden for my loved ones. Could it be a hormone issue? I don’t know, I am confused, afraid, sad, and angry.
Please help me, if anybody here have or had experienced what I am relating, please kindly give some advice. I need to enjoy my cross-dressing; I need to be the girl I am inside. I am not asking to be a 24/7 girl, all I want is to be myself whenever I want to or need to.
A desperate and sad sister,:Pray:
Kokona

[tinachristina]

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=103873

Almost the same problem and there are so many suggestions .
Take a look :)

Tina

[JulieC]

Kokona, I think this question is really beyond any of us to answer.

Much as it may be hard to do, you need to approach a doctor about this issue. There may very well be an underlying health issue. I've never had an orgasm like that which you describe, nor have I ever heard of someone having one like it.

That said, one potential help for this is to relieve yourself before getting started, either by yourself or making love with your wife. It may reduce the intensity.

Still, I think there's an underlying medical issue that needs to be addressed. Further, though I am not a medical expert, I'd strongly suggest you get frequent prostate cancer check ups, and more often than once a year.

[Missy]

seek help like a doctor could be high blood presure
or talk to a addiction droctor about why the feeling is more instense the makeing love with wife
or you just may not need help at all

missy

[Kate Simmons]

It seems to me your health is the important thing. CDing is a "nice to have" but not possible for one reason or the other sometimes. Get checked as others have said. You owe it to both yourself and your wife.

[charlie]

Hello Kokona!
Welcome to the forum! I hope that you find good friendship here and a place to see that dressing is not the horrible awful thing that society believes it is. I also come here to find answers to my questions about CD. That said, your problem is something that I have never heard of before. When I started dressing it was always a sexual thing, but not a super sexual thing that hurt me. Now it is not a sexual thing really at all. Just me dressing as the best woman I can be and going out for a pleasant evening. Your urologist is the one who could probably help you the most. I had prostititus for a year and had to take antibiotics the whole time because infections simply cannot be gotten to in the prostate. Pain is still an occurrence when I have an orgasm. I guess the answer for you is to be able to dress and not get excited. Perhaps having an orgasm prior to dressing would help?

[<3 Keri Lynn <3]

I'm kinda young but I have done the same thing and it basically was guilt afterwards cause to me the "accidents" were a jolt to my mind that I didn't know what I was doing and was racked with confusion, in the past year or so, just out of pure willpower and determination I don't get aroused while dressed anymore cause I'm just happy being who I know I am. Addiction by definition is - "the state of being enslaved to a habit or practice or to something that is psychologically or physically habit-forming, as narcotics, to such an extent that its cessation causes severe trauma." So going to an addiction specialist will be very helpful for you and the other half is just having the willpower to stop with the sexual enjoyment but that's me, there are others who CD for the sexual experience don't get me wrong, its in no way wrong, but for your situation its clear that stopping the sexual part would be the best for you but you don't have to stop dressing

I hope this helps :)


*Hugs*Kisses*

[DonnaT]

Prostate pain with sexual arousal is not uncommon.

There could be several reasons for it, and thorough exam by a doctor is necessary to find the root cause. Could be a simple infection, or could be something as as bad as cancer.

However, from your post it sounds like you have seen a urologist. Consider a second urology opinion.

Have you tried avoiding caffeine, smoking, hot spicy foods and/or alcohol.

Ask your doctor about
http://www.peenuts.com/peenuts.html

[JoAnne Wheeler]

It is a real problem for you "young girls" - trust me, in time you will grow out

of it and instead of a sexual thing, it will become an emotional thing - we

have all been there


JoAnne Wheeler

[Senban]

JoAnne Wheeler said - "we have all been there".

No "we" haven't.

To the OP, see a doctor, see a sex therapist, see an addiction specialist.

[Koka]

Thank you all for your suggestions. It is great to know you girls are here for support. I visited my urologist and all I have is a case of prostatitis, my PSA is even les than 1, which is good. He has recommended me viatmin E Selenium and Zinc to maintain a healthy prostate. In my case, I think I will have to control my sexual desire and with control and determination, be able to enjoy it as much as I can. I just can't afford to have "accidents" for my own sake. I will also need to learn not to relate cross-dressing with prostate problems, I wil need to train my mind, otherwise it will in fact become a problem and as we all knnow, the mind is a powerful thing and can drive you crazy and sick.

Thank you again for your support.

[docrobbysherry]

It is a real problem for you "young girls" - trust me, in time you will grow out
of it and instead of a sexual thing, it will become an emotional thing - we
have all been there! JoAnne Wheeler

I'm 60 now, not sure I will LIVE long enuff to become an "emotional" CD. But looking forward to the experience when, and if, it arrives!:brolleyes:

[MissConstrued]

If it's that big of a deal, wank before you start getting dressed up... just like you might before a hot date.

Frankly, I find it more surprising a guy wouldn't think of this.

[Nena]

Personally, I think that trying to repress the intense sexual feelings you experience while CDing is only going to leave you frustrated. Although it may sound counter-intuitive, you might find that you would be better off simply embracing these feelings and enjoying them to the fullest. This would change the focus from trying to control or eliminate your sexual arousal to accommodating it within the context of your CDing. There have been many good suggestions about how to do that here. You might also find, that by embracing rather than rejecting this part of you, the intensity of the sexual arousal will diminish with time. Just a thought.

Nena GG

[sissystephanie]

I must really be the odd one here. I am 76, been crossdressing since about age 7 or 8, and have never considered it sexual! I do admit to having an occasion erection when I put on a very pretty pair of panties at a much younger age. But never more than that, and even that went away in my teen years.

I dressed then, and now, purely for pleasure, but not sexual pleasure. I just love the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing! No desire to be a woman, I am very happy to be a man. My late wife was very supportive, and yes we did sometimes make love while I was dressed! Usually it was nightgown, which is what I usuallt wear to sleep in. Of course, most of the time the nightgown did not stay on!!

I know a lot of CD's do CD for sexual reasons, but that certainly is not me! My late wife would, if she were able, certainly attest to the fact that I did not need feminine clothing for sex!:heehee: