Am I on the path of becoming somethingnew?

[Kerrigans_panties]

Hi I am new to this web site. I am a 39 year old male and wear panties as my everyday choice. As a teen I first starting wearing lingerie as a sexual thrill but now it has become something more than that. I have started wearing some women's outer clothing - jeans and shorts. I do not have a desire to dress as a woman in public or to be a woman. However, the more comfortable I become in wearing these clothes, the more I start pondering the questions of what it is like to be a woman or to dress as a woman.

My question to everyone who has become or desires to become a girl/CD/TV/TS/TG or whatever label the world wants to call it, is this: How and why did you get to the point in your life that you are at now? When did it start? When did you know that you had to change your public appearance? I want to know who I am and where I am going. Can anyone help me?

[Katie Ashe]

:welcome: ... I don't want to get you off track... the best thing to do is go through the past post and read. Much of your Q's will be answered. I don't want to go crazy for reposting links here. In short, I was 5 when I started on ladies shoes. 9-13 wearing stockings and shoes. Been in denile up to 2 months ago. purged alot. Even though the Military could straighten me out, and was wrong. I finaly accept whom I am: A 11year married, 2 kids, hetro crossdresser/transvestite. Wife and dad knows and supports. Life totally sucked until I found this forum, and answered my concerns. Now I am a happier person, after my bankruptcy goes though (almost done) I'll start my life as a new person. I hope you can find the person you need to be, only you can find it. We can point you in the right direction, but can't led you to water :p

Best of luck, Katie

[Kerrigans_panties]

I guess what I am struggling with is the inner or spiritual self and the feelings we all have. I don't have a lot of time to search through other posts for this information so I was hoping others could share their views here in one place. I apologize if this is wrong. I want to know how others feel. I already know how I feel when I put on a pair of panties. I wanted to share in your experiences as well.

[Gemma]

Hi Kerrigan, welcome to the club, you have found the right place here, have a look at this, it may help, have fun here and maybe chat soon

http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=10190

[CharleneCD]

Kerrigan, first off welcome to the forum.

As for what you are becoming and where your crossdressing is going, only time and you can decide that. I have no idea where my life is going to take me either. 3 months ago if you had told me that I would be going out wearing womens clothes, I would have told you that you were nuts. I tend to look on my crossdressing as a journey, always new things to discover. My best advice is to go with what feels right to you.

[JoAnnDallas]

I second what Charlene said. Up till last week, the best I have ever done was to go out late at night. I have now gone out in the daytime and what a journey it has been. My journey has spanded many years. It started when I was little with just panties and bra's. Later in life I was up to not only panties and bra, but stockings , slips, heels, dresses, and going out late at night dressed but with no wig or makeup. Last week, I went all the way, panties, bra, pads, pantyhose, shaved legs, slip, blouse, skirt, heels, makeup, lipstick, wig, jewlery, and even a little perfume. I went and got gasoline in the bright daylight.

Each of us make our own journey and at our own pace. Some do it sooner than others and some have help from GG's, GF's, and SO's and some do it alone.

We are here to help, encourge your spirit and praise your journey.

[Kerrigans_panties]

Thanks for the welcome.

Gemma that was a good story of what I was looking for. Thank you.

The problem with going with what feels right is that none of it feels right. I know it is wrong yet I do it anyway. Guilty feelings come from when we do something wrong or are thinking of doing something wrong. It is God's way of speaking to us. That's what bothers me. I can supress those feelings and continue to feed this inner desire I have but that doesn't make it right.

[Vivian Best]

I curious about what makes you feel that it is wrong! I know the Old Testament Law says it is wrong for a man to wear women's clothes. It also says it's wrong for women to wear men's clothes. If it is wrong for you, then it's wrong for all the women that wear men's clothing regularly today. Another point in the Old Testament in the same book and chapter that talks about the clothing issue, the Law says to stone women to death that have sex outside of marriage. I don't think that Law is adhered to in today's society. Jesus is generally pictured in a long robe similar to women's bath robe and wore a girdle. He wore sandles and had long hair like a women. HE CHANGED THE WORLD inspite of those things.

I understand your feelings and dilemma, I suffered the same for forty years of my life. One of the things I was doing was blaming myself saying I was no good, was a faulty human being and a sinner for doing what I was doing. It was blame, blame, shame, shame and torment. I really thought I was going off the deep end.

Finally, one day I said to myself this is ridiculous, things have to change! Either I was going to quit or I was going to accept myself for what I am and enjoy it. After much deliberation and soul searching within myself, knowing the facts, I finally made the decision that has worked for me for close to twenty five years. My posting here might give you a clue as to my decision.

The bottom line is that YOU have to make the decision for yourself, no one else can do it for you. You'll eventually come to the point in your life you'll say "I've gotta change" one way or the other. Blaming yourself and saying it is wrong to crossdress is not a sound argument to me.

I do hope and pray that you can find peace in your life. We here on this forum will honor what ever decision you make. Also, we are here to help guide you through your decision making process. God Bless,

Vivian Best

[JoannaDees]

Hi KP. I remember you from pantiesetc.

I see you are still at odds with this, and you are even going beyond just panty wearing.

This will not be popular, but you will never be happy unless you throw off the shackles of your oppressive god/religion. I'm NOT saying throw away your belief and spirituality.

[Kerrigans_panties]

Vivian Best - Thanks for your post.

To me I read those words in the Old Testament as meaning that we should not put on the opposite sex clothing to go out into the world pretending to be someone of the opposite sex. The Bible's wisdom is far deeper than taking words literally or on the surface. In those times there was no satin or nylon or maybe even lace so those materials weren't around then but the Bible still speaks of today. To me it means not to try to be a woman if I am a man. Or vice versa.

There are references in the new testament where a list of sexual sins are mentioned that we should avoid. Transvesticism is listed among them. This is where I get conflict from. I wear panties because they make me feel good and give me a sense of sexual power. The girl's shorts are really just an extension of that. I have worn bras, slips, pantyhose, and high heels in the past for sexual excitement but I don't now. I gave all of that up. They are after all, a replacement for normal sexual fulfillment that I should be getting from my wife. That is why I gave those up.

I think this is why God says what He says in the Bible. He created sex for our enjoyment. It was intended to be between a man and a woman. God wants us to be loved and fulfilled. When we start using other things to replace that then we are turning away from what God intended and ultimately our own fulfillment is reduced. It is hard to understand that because many of us can feel quite satisfied and fulfilled from extra-marital sex, masturbation, or whatever. But God has more wisdom than we do. He knows that a world that gives in to these sexual desires will lead to ruin. Just look at the United States now. Sex on the internet and TV is rampant. There are more divorces, single parents, broken families, pregnant teenagers, and sexual crimes than ever. Kids show little to no respect for authority and everyone wants to be left alone and do their own thing. We are starting to live in a Godless society and our society will suffer as a result.

I know I have gotten far off of the original topic but one has to look at the whole picture to see how the little things affect everything. The world problems I just mentioned aren't directly caused by the sexual sins but they do contribute to the problem. Sorry for such a long post. I just wanted to get that off my chest.