Is that Mister or Ms.?

[Beth-Lock]

I think I made a breakthrough. Just when I thought I would be one of those girls, like some GG's who are called Mister, all too often, I was addressed by my last name, preceded by Ms. Now isn't that a milestone! And it was done by a bank teller who knows my story.
What has been your experience? Does the 'Mistering' ever go away entirely?

[tamarav]

Regardless of your ability, appearance and demeanor, there will always be those that delight is pouring salt into a wound. Try to remind yourself that you are above that type of behanvior.

Above all, don't revert to the testerone driven remarks that your mind is screaming for you to utter.... just smile sweetly and go on with life.

[TxKimberly]

I think Tamera is right. There will always be some jerk out there.
When I traveled to Indianapolis a lot, I used to go to the movies there every once in a while. There was a woman in her 60's that made it a point to call me "Sir" and she even went out of her way to emphasis it. She irritated the hell out of me twice but i refused to give her the satisfaction of knowing it.

[Sejd]

Hi Beth
some people are good at reading other people, and it can be tough on us. But MOST are not, simply because they are too self occupied to bother about you or me. I mostly get addressed as "Ma'am" and of course I love it. However, sometimes it's Sir, mostly when I dress more genderless. All in all, I think it is our learning experience and our chance of growth into femaleness to better our practice etc.
Sejd

[Jessinthesprings]

I have no idea why, but strangly enough I have never been addressed in a male pronoun. I even had a manager at Ross tell her employee to "help that lady". I have no delusion that I pass or that there are those who are not considerate of our plight however, I think there is a growing number of people who understand the nessicity to be respectful even if they do not agree.

[Lisa Golightly]

lol... Somedays you get this whole multiple choice thing going on... the Miss/Ms/Madam/Sir/Thing/It? :)

The oddest one I ever had was in a chemists handing in a prescription for my mother... where she assumed I was the woman on the script and used the thank you Mrs ******, then had second thoughts and opted for Ms because the assumption switched to being her daughter, and then to a rather flustered 'I'm sorry I just assumed...' I don't think she ever quite made a decision about me...

I never correct them... Kind of like adding to the mystique ;)

[TxKimberly]

lol... Somedays you get this whole multiple choice thing going on... the Miss/Ms/Madam/Sir/Thing/It? :)

The oddest one I ever had was in a chemists handing in a prescription for my mother... where she assumed I was the woman on the script and used the thank you Mrs ******, then had second thoughts and opted for Ms because the assumption switched to being her daughter, and then to a rather flustered 'I'm sorry I just assumed...' I don't think she ever quite made a decision about me...

I never correct them... Kind of like adding to the mystique ;)

LOL I've had something like that happen too. I was pulling up to the gate guard at Avis where you hand them your license, they check the car, and send you on your way. Well, I pulled up to the woman with my window down and my license held out.
"How are you today ma'am?" she asks as she takes my license and see's I am male.
" . . . I mean sir . . . what ever you want to be!" She blurted out with a smile.
It was a good giggle. :D

[~Kelly~]

I have had all kinds of experiences because apparently people don't know quite how to classify me. Usually, I would get the "flip-flop" - "ma'am......I mean sir". Sometimes I would get the "reverse flip-flop" - "sir.....I mean ma'am". And quite often I would get the "I don't even want to try" - "how are you........?" (with the intonation of the sentence indicating there was a pronoun on the way but instead was completely left off)
Recently however, I usually just get "ma'am"ed :)

[Beth-Lock]

Well, the thread has attracted a nice bunch of interesting comments.
Personally, today was not a good day. I got a not too soft, Mr. so and so, three times by another teller at the same bank. I felt, on reflection, it made us both look stupid. I guess I will just have to try, when it is possible, to avoid those tellers who insist on continuing in that mistaken course.
Then, I used to have a woman friend who, when I was out with her and me dressed en femme, used to call me repeatedly and not softly, by my male name. How embarrassing! Eventually I just sort of laughed and tried to ignore it, as there was no possibility of ever getting her to stop doing it for more than a minute at a time. She also did other embarrassing things, including insisting on drinking too much, which led to an argument a couple of times. Perhaps she could not be corrected because her brain was addled by the alcohol. Now that she is dead of course I miss her. But then I felt freer to transition after.

[JoannaCaroline]

Well, the thread has attracted a nice bunch of interesting comments.
Personally, today was not a good day. I got a not too soft, Mr. so and so, three times by another teller at the same bank. I felt, on reflection, it made us both look stupid. I guess I will just have to try, when it is possible, to avoid those tellers who insist on continuing in that mistaken course.
Then, I used to have a woman friend who, when I was out with her and me dressed en femme, used to call me repeatedly and not softly, by my male name. How embarrassing! Eventually I just sort of laughed and tried to ignore it, as there was no possibility of ever getting her to stop doing it for more than a minute at a time. She also did other embarrassing things, including insisting on drinking too much, which led to an argument a couple of times. Perhaps she could not be corrected because her brain was addled by the alcohol. Now that she is dead of course I miss her. But then I felt freer to transition after.

No offense but if you present as female, regardless of whether you pass and they intentionally refer to you in the wrong gender, take your business elsewhere.

[Beth-Lock]

I have thought of that. But, the one I have is just so darned convenient, being in fact, next door, and the alternatives are further away. Then, in going elsewhere, there is the problem of establishing one's identity, with one's identity cards being in one gender, and you in the other. I am not sure how to handle that.

Now the problem seems to be solved perhaps, as I had a quiet talk with the offending teller, explaining things, and I hope, to her satisfaction. Well, quiet diplomacy often has quiet victories!