Those who identify as TS have you ever been told

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

that you don't have an mean streak at all.

I recently told a friend of 12 yrs+ that I am TS and planning to start transitioning. As we were talking on the phone today, she mentioned that I was always nice and didn't have a mean streak like alot of men. I thought about this and came to the conclusion that possibly due to lower levels of testosterone, I was always a calmer person.

The question I pose is this, for those who identify as TS, do you feel that youv'e been calmer, less aggressive, more understanding in relationships? Just wondering. :battingeyelashes:

[MaryAnn40c]

Some of us from the Oilpatch area of Canada(Alberta) we do need to be a bitch from time to time.Even when we are not in the patch we need to be mean or have thick skin. I'm sure there are other areas in the world that have problems without beening part of the patch and I don't mean to be negative to anyone else.:2c:

[kellycan27]

I don't think that I have a mean streak, and I know guys as well that don't have a mean streak. Now, take my mother... she has a hell of a mean streak. I do feel calmer than I used to, but maybe that has come with age and the fact that I have pretty much settled into my life as a girl. I think that I have overcome most of the major issues and as I look around I am absolutely positive that this was not only the right thing for me, but the only thing. I had a real chip on my shoulder as a teen, but i don't think I was mean. i didn't kick my dog or anything. I was a tough kid, but not intentionally mean.

[suzanneq]

Hi no you are how you are&what you want to be,thats great&good luck,i am totally different to you but am still going for exactly what you want&will be one day.

[Byanca]

I'm very calm-my father recently asked me if I had ever been angry. I'm not sure. Have not really had much relationships. Cant remember i've ever raised my voice in anger. I'm kinda boring actually that way.I do tend to be creative, so normally work my way around things. So I get it my way anyway :) I grew up with 3 brothers. I had to learn my older brother the R-sound-since he couldn't get it right-and my mum was unsuccessful..lol-

[Sejd]

I feel like I have been more me, since I've started living full time as a TG woman. I don't think though that calmness is typical female. I know a lot of women who are anything but calm, and quite a bunch of male friends who are totally calm and gentle, So - Calmness is not necessarily connected with gender I think. That you feel calm is wonderful, but probably more because you now can be who you really are.
Good luck to you
Sejd

[Karen564]

Me have a mean streak, are you crazy!!! LOL,,,, Nope, No way, I have never been mean to anyone in my life, although I wish I could say the same for some other people that were mean to me..:sad:
I just don't know why some people are so intentionally mean towards other people that never did anything to deserve it..

But I sure was grumpy and mad as all hell many times before the HRT, but no matter how miserable I may have felt, I was never Mean towards anyone the way I see it..

If one determines that mean is saying BOO to someone & they jump, then I'm guilty of that, but I dont think that's mean. But kicking a pet, or taking advantage of someone that's helpless, or doing bad things just for spite, that's just downright junkyard dog mean as all hell..

[Kaitlyn Michele]

Yes, I can say that, but also I'd point out I know lots of women with terrible mean streaks...

When i entered marraige therapy, after 2 group sessions, we each had our solo sessions...the therapist knew nothing about my gender issues, and she told me that i had a "sweetness" about me.....at the time i think she couldnt understand why my wife didnt love me....lol....i loved her for that..

I think I have a deeper self esteem issue tho....so i can't say whether my lack of meanness if femininity, or shame...(both?)

I've always quietly went about my business, never asked for anything, never said no, barely argued, etc etc....as i start to get all this support, I fnd myself feeling that i don't deserve it....when i "want" something, I'm relentless and driven but I always do everything myself!!...even at work. All driven by my feelings of inadequacy....

i need to get over this and i'm trying but finding it hard, I havent started living full time, as i didnt do a good job getting the hair off my face...that starts around july...did anyone find that they were meek and ashamed when living as guys, but not so much after transition??

[ronny]

Some clinical studies have been done which tend to support the idea that we are naturally less agressive than other g males. I have seen this to be so with numerous other ts like me. You may want to see a professional therapist trained in ts issues. My guess is that you feel that you are less too. Correct??

Enjoy life and love people!!

roni

[Rachel_Moore]

Yes and no; whereas I definitely seem to be prepared to fight for what's right and not be a pushover, I'm far too sensitive to be mean to someone, even when they probably deserve it. I have always hated conflict of any description, mind you my ex's mum is the epitome of evil at times and the one person who is able to make my blood boil. I could be, and am often nasty towards her but she is the only person who has pushed me far enough to find my mean, nasty streak.

I'm not a bitch really ;)

Rach xxx

[Heatherx75]

I have been told things like, "You are a much nicer person than I am," or, "Wow, you're mellow," but people who really know me know how bitchy I can be. And that can be REALLY bitchy, but that just comes out of frustration. Lately the bitchiness hasn't been coming out though.

[Beth-Lock]

What you say rings true, although it varies, I would suspect, in degree, in our population. It has been said that I am very forgiving. I do get angry, but I have never seen the point personally in punching someone in the face or beating them up, (though I did in a fit of anger, when a kid, punch a friend in the face -- the only time in my life). Over time, I have become quicker to calm down when angry over something. I guess, if these sort of things are female traits, I have been gravitating towards them for some time.
I was amused about what our sister from Alberta said. The West of Canada really is different in manners, not to say there are no bitches here.
Women of course get angry, but even when they express meanness, they seem to do it in a different way. Once when I nudged with mine, the door of a new truck parked clumsily beside me, when I came out of the store, I noticed the woman in the car, (with her mother), had taken a key to my car and scratched it considerably. (Now my car is owned by another woman, who perhaps wonders how the scratches got there.)
Often it is part of a boiling up of emotions, that puts women out of control it seems. There definitely are women who have anger management problems and need some sort of therapy for it. Today, the tabu that prevented women venting anger has diminished, and it is not necessarily never seen in public today, even among young women.