Dating and the TS

[Frances]

Hello,

I feel lonely these days. I have lots of new friends (I say new, because I lost most of my old ones since beginning transition), but nobody to cuddle with, or to make toast for in the morning.

I have signed up for a few online dating services (adultfriendfinder and Zoosk), but I get scared when men respond; I get scared of their agressivity. I don't llike the binary aspect of most of these sites. Adultfriendfinder allows for pansexual identities and interests, but you have to a man OR a woman looking for a man OR a woman on all the others. I am interested in men, but I have been with women all my life and still like them. I also like trans women.

I get proposals on Facebook but they are all of a very overt sexual nature. Here's the problem, with HRT, sex appeals less and less to me, or if enters the picture, I need it to be with someone I know and trust. I am more intersted in love, friendship and support.

I am not so young anymore, and even though friends and acquaintances tell me I am good looking, I don't seem to attract anyone. I am going full-time next month with the feeling that my goods are damaged.

Ever felt this way? Can we find love?

[Suzy Harrison]

I'm so sorry that a lot of your friends seem to have deserted you Frances - but that says more about them than you.

You are in a very similar position to many other females - trying to find the right person and not getting hurt. Also, just like many other women, you realise that the sexual aspect of a friendship isn't as important as it is to a man.

There are kind and sensitive guys out there - but they tend not to stand out over the noisy and aggressive guys.

But don't worry, your time will come - don't try to rush things.

:hugs: Suzy


PS: I'm also going full time next month - and you're 10 years younger than me so don't worry about your age - I'd swap ages with you anytime !

[Linda Z]

There are kind and sensitive guys out there - but they tend not to stand out over the noisy and aggressive guys.




So you may need to learn to dig in the right field. They DO not to compete with the Alphas, so you will Not find them with the Alphas

Linda Z

[Linda Z]

So you may need to learn to dig in the right field. They DO not to compete with the Alphas, so you will Not find them with the Alphas

Linda Z

even GGs do not get this one. ever!:)

[Beth-Lock]

Sorry to hear of your loneliness. I am spending more and more time alone myself, since I began transitioning recently. Maybe that is why the homes of women are so neat -- they spend a lot of time there, and gradually work on keeping them neat and clean.
Anyway, I have observed that women tend to stay in more. I have talked to women who won't go out of their place after 8 p.m., unless they have somewhere special to go, just out of fears for their safety. But they do gab on the phone a lot. Perhaps that is what you need, a network of friends to talk on the phone with. I certainly seem to miss that part of being a woman.

[Frances]

So, I put myself out there on the market (on Internet dating sites), and I am getting far too much attention! It makes me feel a little better, but some of the guys frighten me. The people answering my ads are a bit on the old side, but I am myself middle-aged, I guess. That's a little depressing too, finally making the big change, and having missed out on being a younger woman. Also, they are so sex-crazed, I feel like a service or an object. I was male, but never a man, and cannot believe what goes on between the ears of most men!