Smiling...passing....

[SuzanneS]

Okay ladies....
This may sound like a stupid question, but when trying to pass, besides the walk and maybe the talk, what else do you do to try to pass? I've noticed in all your pics, that smiling makes a big difference in most of you, some of you don't even need to smile, but I think I do. I have decent eyes and I thought decent lips, but I have been trying to perfect them lately, and I cannot seem to smile and make them what I think is a femme smile...any ideas? I always thought I had plumper than normal lips and I have always been told I was a great kisser, but I am not satisfied...Help!!:doh:

Suzanne

[Karren H]

It makes all the difference in the world.... Just go to the mall..... All women smile all the time... and guys don't know how to smile!!

[kellycan27]

There is passing and there is passing. Some pass by truly looking the part,others pass with self confidence and attitude. You don't have to be a 100% replica to pass. Dress appropriate for the occassian. I don't dress to the nines to go to the mall or market. You don't want to draw attention to yourself, rather than sort of blend in. When you look and act like those around you, you don't stand out. Most people who are out are too busy doing their thing to take much notice of others.

[tamarav]

Don't worry about how you smile, just start smiling at women when dressed and you will find that they smile back. It is a very simple gesture that goes a long way.

Smile at a guy and they may turn on you...(If you aren't dressed, and if you are they will think it is a "come on")

[SuzanneS]

I'm the kind of girl that could wear a dress and still be more manly than most men...I have a very manly persona, (when in male mode)and I have a very manly occupation,(although some of you have beat me on that one!), but fortunately I think that alot of my physical features I can use to my advantage. I'm losing some weight which will help, but I was just wondering if there were any tricks to that you girls were using when you smile, such as, do you try and smile any differently than you would if you were in male mode? I know alot of us change our walks, sways, and adjust our center of gravity possibly when en femme, and I was just wondering if this was part of the transformation. Thank you again.

Suzanne

[Nicole Erin]

It makes all the difference in the world.... Just go to the mall..... All women smile all the time... and guys don't know how to smile!!

KArren, at first I thought "Oh this woman crazy" but I realised, of course the women at the mall will smile, they are shopping and spending money :D

And the guys, their wallet is getting lighter during this process.

KArren, you spoke the truth, you just didn't explain why the smiling femmes and the guys who cannot smile.

[Persephone]

Yes, you absolutely, positively need to learn how to do a few different smiles. They are a necessary form of communication among women.

Just as men may nod or in some other way acknowledge each other, women who make eye contact, even perfect strangers in passing, give each other a little smile of acknowledgement. If you are out and about and fail to give another woman a smile, you will be noticed as "unusual."

Then there are smiles of encouragement that you give to girl friends, etc., etc.

I've been told that in Oriental cultures there are lots of different bows -- one for meeting an equal for the first time, one for greeting a superior/boss, etc. The same is true of smiles in "girl world."

How do you learn them? Observe women encountering each other and then practice, practice, practice in front of a mirror.

Then you have to conquor a lifetime of habit and start doing your "girl" smiles with other women and absolutely, positiviely stop acknowledging casual encounters with men. As a woman, you will blow your cover if you nod to, or acknowledge, a man.

Eye contact is also dominant in "girl world." Women do not overtly check out each other's boobs, they look into each other's eyes.

There is an old girl joke about lifting a guy's head, looking him in the eyes and saying, "Hi, I'm up here." Well, you know that as a guy you look at most women's chests, even when you are greeting them. You can't get away with that as a woman -- you gotta look her in the eyes. You are expected to use your wide-angle vision to do a check of what she is wearing, if she is getting fat, etc. not look her up and down while she's looking at you.

Women maintain eye contact with each other. Watch two guys eating lunch together and watch two women. The guys will be looking everywhere but at each other, the women will be intensely focused on each other's faces.

You need to learn to make gestures a part of your vocabulary. Gesturing with your hands, but, more importantly, gesturing with your eyes and your facial features. Practice raising your eyebrows, looking surprised, looking delighted, even looking angry. You'll need that last one when your girl friend tells you how angry she was about something and you need to put on that look to tell her you agree.

The good news is that if you have the smiles, the facial gestures, and the movements down pat, you won't need to worry so much about your voice in casual encounters. Make eye contact with another woman, smile, and mouth the words "Thank You" and she will have heard you say it.

[noname]

Integrating a smile and an optimistic attitude in my daily life did wonders. Not only did I find my mood improved, but my cheerful attitude rubbed off on those around me. It's not about passing, it's just a good practice.

[Adrianna_Sofia]

I actually realized the power of just simply smiling quite recently...Before I used to look "cool" and "tough" trying to approach someone I like but it seemed to repel others. Once I learned to actually smile at people I meet, I've had better interactions with people. I haven't really ventured out dressed yet but I think it will definitely help to smile because most women are more polite than men and will reciprocate a smile back...

[Karren H]

Actually it took a lot of practice to be able to smile like a woman!! Used to be for photos my wife would always say "Smile" to which I'd respond... "I am smiling". Lol. But after much practice if got the smile down pat and now its the only smile I have and I smile all the time, no mater what in wearing!! Met a local crossdrresser downtown and he walked right up to me.. I was in drab.. I aslked how did you know it was me... He recoginized the smile!!! :):):)

[Mirani]

My partner noticed (a while ago) that when I was "out", I would walk with my head down and avoiding all eye contact.
She told me to put my shoulders back, walk proud and let people "in". By avoiding eye contact I was actually drawing attention to myself.

Now, after practice at first, I am just me. A "crying, talking, sleeping, walking, living doll" (apologies to Cliff Richard). :)

[Deb The Brunette]

yeah a smile goes a long way, you can insult someone real good and get away with it as long as you smile at the same time

If you feel you can't make eye contact with anyone yet when out dressed just wear a pair of dark really cool shades, it helps a lot (this only works of course if it's a nice day)



.

[Angie G]

Just smile Suzanne it will do the trick hun.:hugs:
Angie

[JoAnne Wheeler]

Nice to know that we girls NEED to smile

JoAnne Wheeler

[Di]

First I would say smile if it feels natural to you smile:D...you do not want a huge ole fake grin on your face. I would go to the mall and sit and have a coffee and observe .
Second the most important thing is act confident. If you are not then fake it....before getting out of the car think exactly how you will act and do it and before long it will be natural.
And I love what Mirani said....do not look down..put your shoulders back, walk proud . By avoiding eye contact you would actually draw attention to yourself. This is exactly right...also another thing I have seen cd's do is look constantly behind themselves ( to see if anyone is looking at them) the eyes down...the looking back all make someone look at you cause they feel something is wrong....it prob will not be they made you.......but just the behavior is off.....so practice...act confident....and soon enough you will be confident.:thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup::thumbsup: :thumbsup:

[Donna Marie]

Great advice here. My first outing just a few days ago felt better than this morning's trip for groceries. I think I smiled more when I was buying clothes at the thrift shop - do yuh wonder why?? But I did have trouble at the supermarket keeping my head up, shoulders back, and smiling. I'll keep working on it though. Thanks for the tips.

[carhill2mn]

I think that a little smile is one of the key things in being perceived (passing?) as as a woman. Generally, women smile more than men when in public.

[jenniferj]

I went to a somewhat distant mall one summer's day dressed as an everyday girl - ponytail, girl jeans, knit top, sneakers, just enough makeup to hide my guyness. Walking across the parking lot I met a young mother with a baby in a stroller. I could not help smiling as I looked at the baby , and when I glanced up, the Mom caught my eye and gave me the warmest woman-to-woman smile.

I just glowed the rest of the trip!

-jj

[Sweet Cindy]

Yep, smiling is a hard one to master but as others have mentioned, women smile all the time. But you can't force it or you look like an angry badger (at least I do). Practice, practice!

[Tracy_Victoria]

Passing is not about a look, a walk, or a manerism, it is all of them together and more, and moving and interacting as you would do in reality as a real Female would if you were one!

There are manly women, and feminine men. so you don't need to look like a supermodel to pass. you just need to look right for who you are, and what your being. and have confidence. You need to treat the world as a 360 degree stage your acting for, the important points to passing are:

Look the part
Act the part
and have a purpose in what your doing.

ie my own portfollio is that I dress, look and act a large cuddly mum, Middle class family, smartly dressed, well groomed 2 kids at school, hubby at work, shopping

Works for me :)

[Mirani]

Di has a great point.

Visualisation . . . play the video in your mind seeing yourself confident, successful and a right to exist!

Expect to succeed and you increase your chances of success

[SuzanneS]

Thank you, ladies! I understand about being confident...I know that will help me and I'm really trying, seriously. Smiling, though...I have a certain smile, I actually show a dimple or two once in a while and I'm afraid that will give me away...I'm still working on my makeup and maybe that will help me out. I usually have a great smile, but I think it is a guy smile, lots of my 'guy' characteristics I can see in my pics, even after makeup, but maybe it's just me. I'm going to try and get a new wig here pretty soon, so maybe I can post some pics and get some real opinions on my looks. Thank you all for the great replies!

Suzanne

[Fab Karen]

Pay attention to what Di said: If it feels natural- As I say every time this subject repeats, I live in a world-reknown city with tons of people, if I had a dollar for every woman I see out & about who isn't smiling (including at other women), I'd be RICH. Does that mean they never do? No, just when they feel like it.