Is a CD a good match for a TransMasculine

[laura.lapinski]

As a opportunistic, extremely in the closet, only dress at home CD I have been wondering a bit about what type of person would be the perfect match for a CD. Women like men who generally dote over them, and dominate them (most women that is). Bi-women usually want another woman, or a guy just like heterosexual woman like. Homosexual men usually want a masculine man (again, I'm generalizing and I know there are 20% or so who are exceptions in any category). CD's run the range on what they want, and I'm not real sure, but I would think that TS and pre-op TS (Males to Females) want a dominate man just like a woman would want.

I was wondering what do most Trans-masculine guys want? Do they run the gamut of what they like, and the degree to which they like to CD just as MTF CD's do? If so, are there a large percent who would basically be a mirror image to someone like me. In other words, would they like to basically live as a woman, but dress as a man, fantasize about being with a woman with them being the man? If so, would a FTM CD consider a relationship with a MTF CD where they both kept there original body parts, but just played the opposite role with each other?

I say this because I don't think there are a lot of choices for a MTF CD to find satisfaction both sexually and emotionally (combining the whole self and living in a real world). It got me to thinking how would it be for the FTM? Maybe FTM have the same problem, and I think there would be a great opportunity for FTM and MTF to compliment each other and fulfill each other both sexually and emotionally, without having to live an "ostracized" life. I know many will say, "Just be yourself and don't worry about the rest of the world and things will be fine" but some of you are more brave than the rest of us.

Thanks in advance for your responses.
Laura

[ZenFrost]

For me personally, that isn't the kind of relationship I would want. I'm transexual, not particularly in any closets, and am attracted more to women than MtF CDs who identify mostly as men. FtMs are all over the board though. Some are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual. Some date MtFs (exclusively or regularly) some date FtMs, some only go for cisgendered people. In terms of 'dominating,' I personally don't want to dominate or be dominated, I'd rather be on equal standing with my partner than ascribe to dominant or masculine behaviors to balance out submissive or feminine behaviors.

If you're talking in a general sense I'm sure there are some FtMs who would want the kind of relationship you're describing, but I don't think you could put a statistic on it.

[Ze]

For me personally, that isn't the kind of relationship I would want. I'm transexual, not particularly in any closets, and am attracted more to women than MtF CDs who identify mostly as men. FtMs are all over the board though. Some are gay, straight, bisexual, pansexual, asexual. Some date MtFs (exclusively or regularly) some date FtMs, some only go for cisgendered people. In terms of 'dominating,' I personally don't want to dominate or be dominated, I'd rather be on equal standing with my partner than ascribe to dominant or masculine behaviors to balance out submissive or feminine behaviors.

If you're talking in a general sense I'm sure there are some FtMs who would want the kind of relationship you're describing, but I don't think you could put a statistic on it.

:yt:

I agree. There just seem to be so many stereotypes transcended in the trans/CD world that it's difficult to label anything anymore. Relationship labels and attractions suddenly become a person-by-person basis.

[_Alex_]

one of my pre-op FTM friends is with a post-op MtF friend of mine.

My ex boyfriend is mostly into bio-girls, but is open.

But I know completely gay FTMs (as in they only go for males).

Basically as Zen said, FTM people have a range of sexualities, and wants.

For me, I like individuals, without a set type. I'm open to things, but I'm more inclined not to go with genetic males.

I do seem to find myself attracted to people on the FTM spectrum more regularly then other groups, perhaps as I relate to them? Also, my ex bf was FTM, and one thing I really liked about that was that I knew they got where I was coming from, so I felt more comfortable with them in terms of nudity (and sex).

I'm a full time CDer though, so Im not really directly applicable the situation you were discussing.

[Wren]

As a opportunistic, extremely in the closet, only dress at home CD I have been wondering a bit about what type of person would be the perfect match for a CD. Women like men who generally dote over them, and dominate them (most women that is). Bi-women usually want another woman, or a guy just like heterosexual woman like. Homosexual men usually want a masculine man (again, I'm generalizing and I know there are 20% or so who are exceptions in any category). CD's run the range on what they want, and I'm not real sure, but I would think that TS and pre-op TS (Males to Females) want a dominate man just like a woman would want.
Thanks in advance for your responses.
Laura

I find this little chunk to be a bit problematic. Most of what you are saying isn't true.

...and I think that's where the problem lies. If you think that certain genders, and sexual orientations are as rigid in whom they are attracted too then of course the dating world looks like a bleak mess.

To answer the question more directly.
As an Ftm cderish person, I couldn't say whether I would like to be with an Mtf cder. I'm not attracted to women so I would find the crossdressing aspect to be a turn off. That's not because I'd like to be dominated by a manly man, I'm just not attracted to women. I can see that being a deal breaker.

Some FTM's have been with MTF's though. Like Zen said, you're not going to be able to pin it down to a generalization. There are too many options in sexual orientation.

[DanielMacBride]

What Wren said.

In my personal experience, so many of your generalisations do NOT apply - my MtF girlfriends have NOT wanted to be dominated by anyone (one was a Domme, the other was just plain not into being dominated at all). I have found that the majority of women I have met who want to be dominated are either subs by lifestyle (and there are no larger percentage of them in my experience in the trans/CD world than out of it) or are CDers who have a very idealised view of what a woman really is and tend to treat it like roleplay rather than actually BEING a woman.

I would also like to point out that from personal observation, there are a much smaller percentage of FtM CDers than MtF relatively - most FtMs I know are trans, not CDers, and do not wish to just dress or pretend to be a man, they ARE men. I know we do have some FtM CDers here now and a few who are not specifically male gendered (more bi- or fluid-gendered might be a better description), but I think it's reasonably safe to say that most of us ARE men, we don't do it part-time.

I can't speak for the FtM crossdressers or those who are not specifically male-gendered FtMs regarding sexuality/orientation, but there is a very wide range of preferences among the FtMs I know - some are straight (meaning that they like women, some also include transwomen in that definition); some are gay (and again a lot include FtM men in their definition of who they are attracted to); some are bisexual, some are pansexual or asexual or whatever else :D

I personally identify as "mostly" pansexual - meaning, I am attracted to all women (cis or trans), transmen of all shades, people of fluid or ambiguous gender or androgynes, but while I find genetic males attractive, I draw the line at sleeping with one because that just does not appeal to me at all. Not saying I couldn't potentially fall in love with one - but the whole sex with genetic males thing is just a huge UGH for me. So I couldn't date a crossdresser who was part-time, because IME the male behaviours and attitudes tend to carry across to the time they also spend dressed, or the CD girls I have met all tend to be "roleplayers" and have a very idealistic or stereotypical (often very 50's mentality) view of what a woman is and frankly I cannot STAND that, its SO misogynistic and chauvinist and I find it a real turn-off. I also do not like "sissy" type girls (and I seem to find a lot of CDers who take this role) or those who act like they cannot do anything for themselves or think for themselves - I much prefer a strong, independent woman who is capable of standing very much on her own two feet without me to do everything for her, and chooses to be with me because she CAN, not because she wants someone to take on that role which is almost like a parent (I have seven kids, I don't need another one, especially not a grown-up one).

Crossdressing itself I have no issue with, but I am not into men and I don't like the very distinct role playing that comes with a lot of the CDing girls I know - it just does not sit well with me and I think it would totally irritate me to have to spend any serious amount of time around that. I dunno, maybe it's just me but I don't like any form of pretence and to me girls who have that "try hard" vibe really just make me shudder.

Could also be the fact that most of the CD girls I have met here are either really trans so they do it fulltime and are naturally female anyway, or they are fulltime male and when they go out dressed, they ARE just blokes in dresses because they don't act any different than they do when I socialise with them in their male modes.

Gah....too much thought for having had only 4hrs sleep in the last 24 and no coffee....my head hurts nao.

[gendernonconformist]

I like people,but those people happen not to have penis`s maybe its a physological thing but I have never been intreste din a penis peneratring whatever whole I may have avaliable.
Im gynosexual
I like the typical "female" sexual organ but in to reference to sub and domme it matters less to me.
Im pretty much a Ftm/genderless lesbian who happens to be as camp as they come
but im always sterotyped butch becasue of apprence.
I think its down to the person you meet and what "role" you either take on or dont

[Empress Lainie]

Laura as a mtf I can say for certainty that I know one ftm I would love to have for my own but we are both already taken, him with a gg, and me with another mtf.

Generally I am attracted to women including I think mtf's, but I was a lesbian before I was a woman. (Also a women's libber, too!)

[Poltergeist]

For me, it depends on what the CD wants to be seen as...

I consider myself to be an androgynous guy, and I'm very strongly attracted to androgynous/feminine men... knowing I don't have a chance in a female body. It's so frustrating!

So if I was with a CD who did not want to be a woman full time, and didn't have a problem with me liking the male side of them as well as their female side, then yes, that would be perfect for me.

I don't really want to be the female OR the male in a relationship... I just want to be me.

[Cloas]

I see exactly what you mean! Although like everyone is saying ftm's run the gamet,it definately sounds like things could work.I myself am a straight GG who acts like a guy,dresses like a guy and tends to have manly behaviors in a relationship(in the sense of opening up doors,buying things,holding rather than being held, ect) and think its rather sexy for a man to fem up every now and again if he chooses. I personally like the role reversal thing because even tho its different there's still a balance. Haha--I'd say a gal like myself would perfect for a mtf cd but than again I think ones like myself are rather hard to find,but your best bet would be a straight masculine woman.

[QuietBoi]

I might consider a MTF if she were really pretty and ultra feminine... I tend to like more feminine ciswomen also though... I want a girl that likes to be taken care of and cook and wear high heels, all that...