A Third Way

[Cindi Johnson]

I don’t seem to be “just a crossdresser”. I’m not like a generic CD. Clothes alone don’t do it for me. I prefer to dress and go out into the world as would any woman, and I do. Not into a nighttime world of gay bars, but into the real daylight world of restaurants, grocery stores, laundrymats, and all such mundane places. I am most at peace with the world and with myself when I’m a woman. I take a low dose of internet-purchased estrogen because it enhances my femininity, physically and mentally. I’ve had some cosmetic surgery and electrolysis. As such, I’ve probably gone too far to be a simple crossdresser.

Yet, unlike the generic TS, my penis doesn’t disgust me. I’m not attracted to men. I’ve enjoyed being a father and (while it lasted) a husband. I enjoy some masculine activities like fixing cars, but have never felt the closeness to others which all females appear to enjoy.

Yes, I’d prefer to have been born female. But I wasn’t. And now I’m stuck somewhere in the middle. From reading the posts to this site I know I am not alone in this. So, what are we???

I know, I know…, the TG community is already too fractured. The last thing we need is another category. These days I simply call myself “transgendered“, and leave it at that. But maybe that’s not enough. Maybe this “third way” needs a name. Any ideas?

Cindi

[GypsyKaren]

There's no such thing as "one size fits all" in order to be TS, and there's no rule book that you have to follow. I also like puttering with tools, that doesn't have to be only a male activity and it doesn't make me or you any less of a woman, so I wouldn't sweat it.

Karen :g1:

[Kaitlyn Michele]

My therapist, a genetic woman, cancels group therapy when the Eagles are playing football, and loves ice hockey.... i'm with Karen..if you feel comfortable in your own skin and are happy with yourself, then you are in great shape and just keep being yourself...i've said it before, you're a human being...period, full stop...and you have every right to be yourself and how you label yourself or how I might label you really doesnt mean anything

I say kudos to you

[robyn1114]

Well said Michele

[amanda w]

I love going oute shoping and paying bills in the day time when dressed my therapist at the V.A. said it is good therapy for. I am being myself and I am comfortable that way. loveing every day. amanda

[Lisa Golightly]

Not all women like boys... nor do all TS's... and as for the 'hack it off' mentality... I've not really witnessed it. As the others have said there is a sliding scale... We're not all extreme gender outcasts raging at the world slashing at ourselves with a scapel.... :D

I have a thing for teddy bears (I think I'm alone in that)... and I admit I do like boys... but the mere thought of surgery down there makes me feel faint... I know it's coming but I just don't want to think about... Ooooo bit dizzy... breathe deep Lisa... :)

I was trying to think of the most mundane place I've ever been when dressed... Gah! Petrol station... post office... Oh most of life is mundane really isn't it?... The real stumper would be if you asked me where I've been that's exciting when dressed.... Erm... petrol station? Gosh my life's dull!!! :)

Some of us you'd probably quite like over a spot of tea... We're not a bad lot really... and quite varied :)

[Diane24]

Cindi,
As you can see from all who have posted, we aren't much different from you or each other. I may have gone the distance and had the "Hack job" (gaasspp!!!!) but I canceled the surgery once because I feel like you do about surgery!
I don't think you really need a label to describe what your present state of CD, TS, TG, happens to be. Firstly, it's no one's business but yours, and secondly, why announce it anyway? If you enjoy dressing and going out doing normal everyday things, that's wonderful! Keep doing it and keep your plumbing intact! The fact that I hated the plumbing has nothing to do with how you feel. I would never (nor should anyone else!) force my life-style on you or anyone else.

I'd love to go shopping with you!
Love,
Diane

[tori-e]

Yet, unlike the generic TS, my penis doesn’t disgust me. I’m not attracted to men. I’ve enjoyed being a father and (while it lasted) a husband. I enjoy some masculine activities like fixing cars, but have never felt the closeness to others which all females appear to enjoy.

Yes, I’d prefer to have been born female. But I wasn’t. And now I’m stuck somewhere in the middle. From reading the posts to this site I know I am not alone in this. So, what are we???

I know, I know…, the TG community is already too fractured. The last thing we need is another category. These days I simply call myself “transgendered“, and leave it at that. But maybe that’s not enough. Maybe this “third way” needs a name. Any ideas?

Cindi

We have some things in common. I have 4 kids and love my wife very much. I wasn't disgusted by the male bits. But they were incongruent with the rest of my life. I'm still attracted to girls, but am a bit curious about men since GRS.

As for labels, I'm a "married lesbian transwoman". (MLTW?) :battingeyelashes: Or, how about "happily transitioned"?

We are all TG, but we all need to find our own paths. They can all be quite different.

Terri

[Ashlie Marie]

as everyone has said so far you are not alone. to be honest I am exactly like you, According to my doctor i am a transgenderist lol all these stupid labels. if you look it up though it is me a T. I am going to start HRT but my male bits will connect me to my wife and daughter forever..

hugs,
Ashlie

[morgan pure]

Hi honey,
I'm almost you. Isn't it interesting how this thread keeps popping up?

It occurs to me that we are on the cutting edge of a movement. We're not defined yet, but there are more and more of us. I personally don't want to wear a skirt except in the summer.

[marla01]

Cindi, I would suggest you are in the majority :-)

Marla

[laurab323]

Cindi,

I totally relate to your post!!! I am very much in the same boat.

My counsellor says the "new" way of thinking is that you don't have to go "all the way" to the hack job. We are all definately on a sliding scale.

I feel the same way as far as who I am. I fear my children losing their father, but at the same time I am learning that I am most definately not a CD. I could transition with little ill effect, but I am happy right now living dual roles in life. I am sure the counselling will help me figure it all out.

I am working with my counsellor now to see a doctor instead of taking the hormones over the internet. I made a promise to myself to do that the right way by the end of this year.

OMG I am so happy to read someone else is close to where I am. Thanks for the post!

-Laura
xoxo

[melissaK]

Yes, I'm a middle grounder too.

And I'd like to thank all those who hacked back the jungle of social ignorance and intolerance by defiantly and brazenly going all the way with SRS for leaving this nice middle ground clearing I can walk around in.

hugs,
'lissa

[Anna the Dub]

I would have described myself as a middle grounder for a long time too. I started my treatment back in the late 90's. But didn't go any further, and I didn't feel any real animosity towards my penis. I feel that I more or less went back into my shell, I was on a low dose of hormones and I was able to function as a contributing member of society. However, in the last 18 months or so, I have started moving forward again on the transition path. Don't know what triggered it, but now I want to go all the way up to SRS. Building up to transition now, hopefully this year, just have to get rid of some more of the facial hair. Sometimes the journey for some of us takes a bit longer that originally anticipated (not saying that that is the path you will take though).

[Linda Z]

I don’t seem to be “just a crossdresser”. I’m not like a generic CD. Clothes alone don’t do it for me. I prefer to dress and go out into the world as would any woman, and I do. Not into a nighttime world of gay bars, but into the real daylight world of restaurants, grocery stores, laundrymats, and all such mundane places. I am most at peace with the world and with myself when I’m a woman. I take a low dose of internet-purchased estrogen because it enhances my femininity, physically and mentally. I’ve had some cosmetic surgery and electrolysis. As such, I’ve probably gone too far to be a simple crossdresser.

Yet, unlike the generic TS, my penis doesn’t disgust me. I’m not attracted to men. I’ve enjoyed being a father and (while it lasted) a husband. I enjoy some masculine activities like fixing cars, but have never felt the closeness to others which all females appear to enjoy.

Yes, I’d prefer to have been born female. But I wasn’t. And now I’m stuck somewhere in the middle. From reading the posts to this site I know I am not alone in this. So, what are we???

I know, I know…, the TG community is already too fractured. The last thing we need is another category. These days I simply call myself “transgendered“, and leave it at that. But maybe that’s not enough. Maybe this “third way” needs a name. Any ideas?

Cindi

sounds like you have a point where you have a happy balance.
enjoy it with you GG, make it yours.
Thats what I have done. I have done the same thing that you are doing.
No pressure to go to the limit. you are not breaking anly rules.
I love it in the middle, I get to cherry pick the best, I can get to working on my Cars and being in Skirts and dresses!
I do have GGs friends that are pretty close and a wife with 3 kids, it works well. your OK where you are, I think, call it what you want.:)

Linda Z

[Sejd]

Hi cindy
I also don't think you need another label. Just enjoy having discovered your true self and you seem to be doing great being out and about. I just went to a big department store today, for the first time alone, tried on clothing, browsed and enjoyed myself, for the first time without any stress or weird feelings. Everyone seem to take me as female, that helps a lot of course, but I don't think it is because I look so overly femme, just that I finally feel fine being who I am. Surgery is not an option for me, but I am still back and forth about the hormone issue. I don't mind the way my body is, except that I, like so many other TG's dream of more curves. LOL
hugs
Sejd

[Leanne2]

Hi Cindi,
You just described me. I also don't do the gay bars/night life thing. But I do everyday things as a woman. I shop at grocery stores and Wal-Mart. I am sometimes dressed as a woman when I take care of my 86 year old neighbor lady. Just a few days ago I took her for a mammogram. And yesterday we went as two women to buy her a new sewing machine in a fabric store.
I am the happiest when I can do normal everyday things and be accepted as a woman by everyone. Of course it helps that I can pass without much trouble. I can thank genetics for that. Good luck, you are not alone. Leanne