Over compensation

[cdterri]

Spent most of My life overcompensating for My dressing. Lettered in football, track, and gymnastics, had more fistfights than all Clint Eastwood movies combined, belonged to a biker gang, drank to excess and bedded every girl that I could. Was married at 18 and had 3 sons by the time I was 21. But no matter what I did the urge just got worse. Finally left My wife and sons at the age of 26 and moved to California, just had to explore the other side. Big mistake!!!! More of this at a later date.

[Karren H]

Why later?? It was just getting interesting!!!

Don't think I've over compensated in my life time so far... over performed... over achieved.... over ate.... over dressed

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

...Finally left My wife and sons at the age of 26 and moved to California, just had to explore the other side. Big mistake!!!! More of this at a later date.

:eek:

Yeah... I'd say that falls into the over compensation category.

Wow.

I'm curious as to whether or not you think she just might have been understanding, but I guess that's coming up in the "more at a later date" thing.

For what it's worth, I rolled the dice with my wife... ever so cautiously and very gradually I came out to her, and she was very accepting - even encouraging. :) I understand the need to explore the other side. I waited too long to 'fess up to my own wife - to the point where the need (to be me) was driving me crazy. Had she not accepted me, only THEN I would have left her and considered moving to California. :heehee:

[Karren H]

California is too over-populated for me!! lol

[cdterri]

Not only overpopulated but full of the seedy side of crossdressing. a lot of really screwed up souls.

[LeannL]

I think overcompensation is very common. The members of my Tri-Ess group was disproportionately populated with ex-military (usually Marines), police, prison guards, etc. Most admitted that they feel they chose to do these occupations as a form of compensation for their femme feelings.

Personally, I didn't overcompensate as best as I recall. I did soccer, swimming and baseball as sports. I am in a male dominated business, chemical research. I fish but don't hunt.

I do remember an odd incident though. When I was in the cub scouts, they wanted to do skit at the troop meeting which was a review of songs from each decade from the 20's to the 60's. They wanted half of the cubs to dress as girls. I refused. (Ask me now to do it, please!) Since I refused, none of us did it. Don't know why I was the choke point.

Leann

[Marilynn]

Don't know why I was the choke point.

Maybe they knew something you didn't know. :D

[linnea]

I think that lots of us have compensated or over-compensated. I've done a lot of strongly male activities throughout my life; however, I've never really thought of any of it as compensation for the expression of my femininity. Maybe I'm rationalizing--or over-rationalizing--LOL.

[LeannL]

Maybe they knew something you didn't know. :D

Don't know. I believe that I was afraid to wear girl's clothes when I was young. I believe that it was because I asked my mother when I would change into a girl. I explained that I thought that you changed back and forth every five years (I was probably 4 or 5 years old at the time.) While my mother didn't yell at me, her response made it clear that I shouldn't think about it. So being the good boy, I tried to get rid of the thoughts and any expression of it.

Funny thing though, not too many years later, my brother and I went through several Halloweens where my mother (who usually made the costumes for us) found some dresses, hats and gloves from the late 19th or early 20th century. The dresses were full length with busstles in the back. I guess my mom would have liked us to change back and forth after all.

Leann

[Karren H]

I think were over-analyzing this since we haven't heard the rest of the story yet... lol

[DeeArel]

It may not be overcompensation at all but a swing between extremes to provide balance around the center.

Throughout my life, the desire to dress has increased the greater physical demands of my occupation.

[Highland Anne]

Personally I've never over compensated.

[jasmine87xoxo]

I wont say I 'never' have done this but I cant think of any instances where I have overcompensated. I will say I have gotten more in touch with my female self then I used to be.

[Lisa Golightly]

I collected teddy bears... That's not really over-compensating is it? I did try and have girlfriends... but my heart wasn't really in that so they rapidly drifted away... hmmmmm... I was just rubbish at being a boy... :)

[jasmine87xoxo]

I did try and have girlfriends... but my heart wasn't really in that so they rapidly drifted away... hmmmmm... I was just rubbish at being a boy... :)

In my heart I feel this is the case as to why Ive never had a long relationship, prior to the current my longest was 3 months and this one is going on 5.

[Lisa Golightly]

In my heart I feel this is the case as to why Ive never had a long relationship, prior to the current my longest was 3 months and this one is going on 5.

Well you've beaten my records :)

[jasmine87xoxo]

Well you've beaten my records :)

Woohoo! Haha, I dont know I tend to stay in relationships probably longer than i should have, up untill this one I was usually done with the relationship pretty quick and just putting off breaking it off. Idk where this one is going she keeps saying she loves me and I honestly cant say it back. Well see what she says on the 6 month when I tell her about Jazz.

[Lisa Golightly]

Woohoo! Haha, I dont know I tend to stay in relationships probably longer than i should have, up untill this one I was usually done with the relationship pretty quick and just putting off breaking it off. Idk where this one is going she keeps saying she loves me and I honestly cant say it back. Well see what she says on the 6 month when I tell her about Jazz.
I kind of knew I shouldn't have been there to start with... lol... I just liked the idea that I seemed to attract stunning women that my friends were dead jealous of... but I just didn't know what to do with them... lol... It was all very sad really and I could see them getting increasingly fed up. Ah well... Least they could get away from me... I was stuck with me :)

My girls all knew about Lisa... I always gave them that level of honesty... I just smoothed around my TS nature... Well that was unproven... Least officially :) So they were all stars and bunny rabbits at the start and I recited film scripts in my head to try and stay focused... It was quite sad really... For them as well as for me... I did love them very much... I just seemed out of phase with it all... For very obvious reasons as I'm now fully aware.

So why the 6 months revelation? Why that milestone?

[jasmine87xoxo]

So why the 6 months revelation? Why that milestone?

She really wants me to say I love her so she can say it all the time, we have a long distance relationship thing going since she goes to school in Kansas and I in Missouri. I have a feeling that if it wasnt an ldr it would probably be over in all honestly. But anywho I figured I would tell her that I loved her at the 6 month (which is true I just dont know that I am 'in love with her'), but before I tell her I love her, I feel I need to tell her about Jazz so I feel we're being honest with each other. If she does love me then she will at least tolerate it, if she cannot even tolerate Jasmine then I suppose the time has come to move on.

(sorry for the bad grammer)

[Lisa Golightly]

Good for you... and good luck.

[Carole Cross]

I have had a few macho jobs in my life and I once applied to join the Army, but becauase I had a hernia at the time, I didn't go through with it. I have only had a few girlfriends in my life and all but one of them only lasted a few months and they werre normally a few years older than me. All of the girlfriends I had were introduced to me by friends or they have approached me by themselves. I was too shy to go up and talk to a girl.

[insearchofme]

I don't consider it over compensating. I loved playing Football, being in Track, Wrestling, Swimming, Scuba Diving, coaching and being in an all male environment. It is part of who I am, as well as my enjoying being femme. I never tried to deny my femme self by being my guy self.

I'm with Karren, we can be both.

[Angie G]

Not only overpopulated it shakes.:hugs:
Angie

[TSchapes]

Not only overpopulated but full of the seedy side of crossdressing. a lot of really screwed up souls.

This is the part I want to hear about. Where did you go? When I was 29 I was toying with the idea of going to SF to explore the femme side of myself and see if I was TS. Too scared to do it, now 26 years later...

-Tracy

[Sara Jessica]

Not only overpopulated but full of the seedy side of crossdressing. a lot of really screwed up souls.

I'll bite too...

If you go looking for the seeds, you're sure to find them. Me? I've never found 'em but then again, I'm not looking.

As the song goes, you must be looking for love in all the wrong places.

California doesn't have the market cornered on really screwed up souls, you can find them pretty much everywhere.

[Patricia1]

Why later?? It was just getting interesting!!!

Don't think I've over compensated in my life time so far... over performed... over achieved.... over ate.... over dressed

Over-the-top?; love your hair, btw. Over & out.

[JoAnne Wheeler]

For me it was undercompensation

JoAnne Wheeler

[Kate Simmons]

Actually I had to compensate by dressing as Rich, because as Ericka, I did too much tomboy stuff.;):)

[kristinacd55]

Wish I was, then I could spend more on some girly things!! :daydreaming:

[flatlander_48]

Spent most of My life overcompensating for My dressing. Lettered in football, track, and gymnastics, had more fistfights than all Clint Eastwood movies combined, belonged to a biker gang, drank to excess and bedded every girl that I could. Was married at 18 and had 3 sons by the time I was 21. But no matter what I did the urge just got worse. Finally left My wife and sons at the age of 26 and moved to California, just had to explore the other side. Big mistake!!!! More of this at a later date.

It was the other way around for me. A lot of what I've done has been geared to basically going unnoticed. Think of that song from Chicago: Mr. Cellophane...

[Lorileah]

I do remember an odd incident though. When I was in the cub scouts, they wanted to do skit at the troop meeting which was a review of songs from each decade from the 20's to the 60's. They wanted half of the cubs to dress as girls. I refused. (Ask me now to do it, please!) Since I refused, none of us did it. Don't know why I was the choke point.

Leann

Were you in my scout group? I supposedly quit tap classes because they wanted me to wear tights for the ballet part. I don't remember that but I think my mom has me confused with someone else :)

We all over compensate sometime. My sports were more what were referred to as "women's" in my area; volleyball and field hockey. So I was just compensating

[Marilynn]

Years ago I noticed that any time a crossdresser came to attention - usually under unfortunate circumstances - he would generally be a tall, well built guy. I remember thinking, don't short, slender guys ever do this? It was always a truck driver or a construction worker - macho type jobs. Obviously that's not always true, but I definitely noticed it over many years. Maybe the big guys were the only ones to get "caught." :o

[Persephone]

I think that lots of us have compensated or over-compensated. I've done a lot of strongly male activities throughout my life; however, I've never really thought of any of it as compensation for the expression of my femininity. Maybe I'm rationalizing--or over-rationalizing--LOL.
[QUOTE=insearchofme;1680322]I don't consider it over compensating. I loved playing Football, being in Track, Wrestling, Swimming, Scuba Diving, coaching and being in an all male environment. It is part of who I am, as well as my enjoying being femme. I never tried to deny my femme self by being my guy self.[QUOTE]

I'm with Linnea and Dana. I can definitely understand the sort of "overcompensation" that cdTerri might feel, but don't think that's what I've been doing.

Went through life as mostly an unathletic geek, made fun of by the guys in school, but do a lot of geek-techy stuff -- ham radio, rocketry, hiking, shooting, fixing my own cars, woodworking, etc.

Just always thought it was part of being me, although I'm pretty sure that if I'd been born completely female I might not have taken up those particular activities.