How our extreme sensitivity can change everything

[cdterri]

I married My childhood sweetheart at the age of 18. We already had a son at the age of 16 and She was pregnant again. I was sure if I got married I would be able to stop dressing and be a normal male. Didn't last more than a month. I started wearing Her skirts and nightgowns every chance I could. I finally approaced Her about it and to My relief She stated She loved Me no matter what. As time went on I started dressing more completly bra, dresses, makeup, the works. I really thought I wanted to be a woman. Nothing was ever said as long as I balanced the husband, father role with the dressing. About 7 yrs into the marriage I wanted to make love one night, She was in a bad mood and for the first time ever She became angry and called Me a queer. I was crushed. Next day, My first purge, burned everything, swore I'd never dress again. We all know that just doesn't happen. Within a month I was buying femm clothes again, and She had apologised over and over. However I could not get the word queer out of My head, (In fact 35 yrs later it still bothers Me) and couldn't seem to forgive Her for saying it. Several months later I climbed on My harley and headed for the Westcoast. I was going to find Myself and become what I thought I wanted to be.

[Leasa Wells]

run scream pull my hair out I too have had your feeling and yes comments from my SO. I am still unsure if this is a curse being both male an female inside. I only know this is how I am made.

I hope you find what your searching for too.

[Sheila]

She had apologised over and over. However I could not get the word queer out of My head, (In fact 35 yrs later it still bothers Me) and couldn't seem to forgive Her for saying it. Several months later I climbed on My harley and headed for the Westcoast. I was going to find Myself and become what I thought I wanted to be.

35 years ......... you headed to the west coast ......... sorry hun am I missing something here :confused:

[Karren H]

You have to read this, Sheila - http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showthread.php?t=104864 It's kind of part of a trillogy....

[JoAnne Wheeler]

You certainly have lived an unusual life - overcompensated on fathering

children - now you are going to the Westcoast on your Harley - what is going

to happen to all your children - are you trying to get away from your

responsibility to support and help raise your children - facing these

responsibilities comes before CDing

JoAnne Wheeler

[Sheila]

You certainly have lived an unusual life - overcompensated on fathering

children - now you are going to the Westcoast on your Harley - what is going

to happen to all your children - are you trying to get away from your

responsibility to support and help raise your children - facing these

responsibilities comes before CDing

JoAnne Wheeler

JoAnne if i am doing my maths correctly he/she left his/her wife 37 years ago ..... the kids will be long grown by now ... they married when he was 18, seperated 7 or do years later and in his/her first post admits to being 62 .......... I was slighly confused as to why 35 years later he up on his/her bike and left I just did not read the OP correctly, and am grateful to Karren for pointing me in the right direction to get the answers ........ so thanks Karren:)

[cdterri]

I did return and took care of my children, also had 2 daughters several yrs later. they are now both happily married and both have 3 children of their own.
Thats what I was getting at. I had responsibilties so I gave up the idea of being a woman and returned to take care of those responsibilities

[Sheila]

I did return and took care of my children, also had 2 daughters several yrs later. they are now both happily married and both have 3 children of their own.
Thats what I was getting at. I had responsibilties so I gave up the idea of being a woman and returned to take care of those responsibilities

thankyou for clearing it up ..... sorry if I was having a dumb day :o

[ReineD]

Terri, none of us are perfect and we do say things we later come to regret. Your wife was probably bottling up some frustrations that may have been about you, but also other issues having nothing to do with you (the kids, her own internal landscape, fears over different things, etc).

If she apologized profusely for calling you queer, then I would believe that she doesn't think this way of you. I do not know if it is a case of extreme sensitivity more than a difficulty in fully accepting the CDing within yourself. :2c:
:hugs: