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Admin
04-01-2004, 11:40 PM
I've had it up for a few weeks and only 1 thread.. think I should shut it down until the site grows a bit more? let me know any feedback.. I guess its not bearly as popular it seems..

any other forums you think would be helpful to the site?

Gabrielle
04-11-2004, 04:25 PM
The problem with this forum is that it is for FTM which is, in my opinion, already accepted by society.

I would think that most Females would not even consider themselves to be crossdressing.

If this method of communication would have available 30 years ago, there would have been more response.

Comments?!

CindyT
04-12-2004, 12:42 AM
There does not seem to be much interest in female - to - male crossdressing, or at least if there is they don't care to say much about it. You could probably close this one, OR just turn it into another male - to - female board.
Also, I think we need a photo gallery, think? Just a suggestion.
There are some crossdressing "Groups" on msn that I frequent, and I wonder if you would like to exchange links with some of them? Just a way to get more visitors,,,,,,,
Cindy

JustmeBear
04-18-2004, 02:17 PM
Hi, well I am a FTM CDS..yeah, not too many...and I agree it is more accepted of society then it is for MTF. I have several procedures in quest to look more like a male then female. I have had my hips injected with cologen , to get rid of the hour glass figure, I have had my lips reduced to appear smaller, and I have had a breast reduction along with shin implants for the muscle look in my legs....
I love being female but I also like to be male at times...... I wear mens underwear, I have "pecks" when I dress up....and just about my whole wordrobe belongs to a male....I find it intruiging to see the world from a mans prospective.
When male I have not had anyone notice other wise...My boyfriend knows I do this infact being a fairly new relationship..we were talking about secrets and though not a real secret we both discovered that we like to crossdress.

I do have a question for the mtf out there....do you find it difficult for woman to accept your life style and if you are getting involved with someone when really is the right time to tell them?

See for me it turns me on,,weather it be he just does it in the bedroom or all the time...I think it is awesome that a man can show the "real" side of himself

Gabrielle
04-18-2004, 10:06 PM
Hello JustMeBear!

in response to your question "I do have a question for the mtf out there....do you find it difficult for woman to accept your life style and if you are getting involved with someone when really is the right time to tell them?"

Speaking for myself here, I have been living with my wife for a long time now. I have only "come out" to her in the past few years. I guess I have always been afraid to do so.

From my own experience, I can only say that I believe that if you are starting a relationship with someone, and you are a crossdresser (be it MTF or FTM or Any secret you may have for that matter) is best be brought out early on in the relationship.
That way if they are totally against it, then you are probably not meant for each other.

Of course, what I didn't really realize at the time was that crossdressing is a very important part of my being truly happy, to be myself.
So the key to having a happy relationship, I believe, is to have two people who can enjoy life together. and if crossdressing is part of what truly makes you happy then
you would need someone who can enjoy it with you.

Sometimes you may be required to do some compromises, but if overal you are both happy then you've got it made!

JustmeBear
04-19-2004, 01:26 PM
Gabrielle,

...I have a few friends that crossdress and they have agreed that it is difficult for them to find woman who is 100% ok with what they do...


I feel it is best to tell someone before intimacy is shared....My boyfriend is a crossdresser and he does this on a daily basis, ...I really didn't notice everything..but I was seeing signs and that's why I had asked him if he had any secrets....I think it is a turn on and am not embarassed to be seen with a man who feels he should live his life as a woman...I am a firm beleiver in " it is the way someone treats you." I have to say....He is awesome as far as that goes....All in all that is who he is and if that makes him happy..then I am happy that he feels he can share that Life style with me....

Well I would suggest on bringing it up slowly in the sense...see how your wife feels about the "subject" saying that, what I mean is bring up a "story" make something up...like there is this guy at work and today he came to work wearing a dress...See how she responds to that....Say what if you came home and found me in a dress, would that freak you out? That way it is kinda a hypothetical question....
When you came out before and either told her or tried to tell her what did she say or how did she respond? Yeah there are a few compromises here and there but if crossdressing is what you really want to do..then you should be upfront with her and tell her...She might not like it but then again you never know!


Maybe to slowly break her into it..Try wearing make up when you are at home...nothing too noticable...Just maybe mascara or even eye liner...see she might not even notice..it took me awhile to notice that my boyfriend did it..I noticed other things before I noticed that....He shaves his legs, his nails are longer and very well maintained....Once umm before we started intoa relationship, I noticed or thought he was wearing a bra...well I guess I was right....I had also noticed the male "package" was sqooshed...lol Ummm womans underware would do that.....I never said anything to him....That I knew but I did I just wanted to see if he would tell me.

Or maybe you could shave your legs and see what she says....there are several ways to "ease" the idea to her....you know her best so you would probably know how to go about it better then me....

I agree with you though, if you both are happy then you have it made..if she isnt accepting of it..then are you really meant to be?

GOOD LUCK

Stelli
04-19-2004, 10:51 PM
I'd really like to know what does it mean 100% OK in this sense. I am M2FCD and I do it in my free time and when aplicable not to upsent anyone around. My wife knows it as it was present before we met. However even if she doesnot mind, even sometimes buy me stuff, I cannot say I that all of this comprises 100% OK. She is more passive to that and finds it kind of my hobby. So the question here remains.

I'd really like to meet some F2MCD that will be to my opinion valuable experience .

Otherwise I do not wander that F2M are not active, when you have seen man talking about their feelings publicly (except here :) lol. But in the same time I vote that this part stays. I am sure that it will pick up when there is critical mass of subjects.

Gabrielle
04-20-2004, 04:03 PM
in re: "When you came out before and either told her or tried to tell her what did she say or how did she respond?"

She finds crossdressing a complete turn off and we even toyed with the idea of splitting up. However, we decided to stay together.

We do love each other. Even though she hates it when I dress, she still lets me do so because she does want me to be happy. :p

Stelli
04-20-2004, 10:18 PM
Re: Gabrielle

It is hard to be smart in this, cross dressing is simple act but emotions behind that are much more complex. I can identify with you, Gabrielle to the certain extent. I'd like to have more support in what I do. Even to the certain degree I find my wife latent to cross the line but she still keeps it under control. It may be that she wants to keep sanity, but it may be normal builtin female reaction to possible competeing female. We are still all primarily visual. CD is likely turn off because there could be a mix of feelings to one that do not have desire to CD when relating emotionally to one that does it. I do not ask myself why I do it, but would other side participate in exploring alternatives? Likely not. Then it remains person to person relation apart from gender.

Also as genetic male that feels good in native gender too I find it as exploration even enriching my personal experience, and I always say to myself - not everyone is adventurous especially in area that may question or disturb ones self understanding.

What is solution to this? I did not figure it out as yet. Possibly it takes time and lot of us to form better understanding and set the guidelines. But I find it as humane as everything else. It is some sort of expression freedom, that cannot be denied. From another side it is care not to disurb.

JustmeBear
04-21-2004, 04:37 PM
Really what I mean by 100% ok..is more not less 100% accepting..My boyfriend cds and it isn't like he just does it at home or on the weekends, this is a daily thing for him and he would even like to take it a tad bit further...I accept the fact that he cds. I accept that he wears nail polish, bras, panties and so on..I will even support him when he wants to take it further...When he told me he did this, I had a choice weather or not to continue our relationship or stop it right then and there...I choose to continue..I would never be embarassed by what he does.....In my opinion if people look it is because they are jealous...if you don't like something why look so hard...right.....I am 100% ok with his life style!!! I would never change him or make him try to go back wearing mens clothes...I think it is awesome he can express himself the way he deems neccessary...I envy that about him......
Is that giving you enough meaning on 100% ok?

JustmeBear
04-21-2004, 04:45 PM
Well is crossdressing something you want to do on a daily basis? Basically live your life as a woman? or is it something you want to just do at home or on the weekends?...Maybe you can compromise on something...Let me know the answers to these questions and maybe I can help you a little more

Gabrielle
04-21-2004, 07:34 PM
I would say that I am mixed. I do enjoy being a guy at times but other times would like to be female.

I think I would be happy just being able to wear what I want whereever I want.

I would probably be content to live life as a guy, that could wear a skirt, high heels and nailpolish. Sounds pretty simple, however until society accepts that much like it is now accepted for girls to wear jeans , I don't see that happening.

I would love to have a female friend that I could dress up with and maybe go out dancing with.

I don't think I am asking for much! ;)

JustmeBear
04-21-2004, 08:25 PM
What really is the difference between crossdressing and transgender?

JustmeBear
04-21-2004, 09:25 PM
Well you basically want to be a part time cd? I really do not know what to say....While having someone you could go out with dressed up would be great..I do not think your wife would like it too much!! Really all I can say is be honest with her and tell her exactly how you feel and well you are either going to like what she says or not...
For me if I am with someone that I think could be in my life for years and maybe forever..I would tell him that I like to dress as a man and that I have had several procedures done...All before intimacy....He is either going to accept this or not...It is great when you are with someone and they accept you 100%...
My ex husband knew that I did this and fobbided me to do it..I had clothes and alot of them you can't tell....Like you said the woman wearing jeans is accepted by society...Though my wardrobe goes deeper into it then that.....If I were to walk into a restaurant wearing a mans suit and tie...Think society would be just as accepting as if I were wearing a pair of jeans and a t-shirt....I don't
Anyways be honest with your wife, that's all you can be

Stelli
04-22-2004, 12:01 AM
Thank you Justmebear! This is good explanation. I am just courious what you find in it? 100% accepting (in fact tit is not, as you said, you always have choice to accept something or not). But what is great about you two is that you support him, you are not indiferent. If he comes with something you will try to see it in best light. That I find very good and very healthy. But how that makes YOU feel?

I am courious what kind of person you are, and what you find satisfactory to you....?

Stelli
04-22-2004, 12:18 AM
Also to Gab,

I think here there is element of time. How much time to be in certain gender role. We do cross dress for the gender role too. But how much? I feel good in both, and I figure Gab does feel that too. I can be male and very satisified but also I can be female and satisfied, but also I would have desire to switch from one to other. It doesnot necessary mean that I would like to go from one extreme role to another. I see it as freedom from being locked in one gender role. I may spend days being in F clothes, then I may spend months not even thinking about it. Then I may dream of me wearing dress or suspenders or certain type of skirt. Or some day I just feel beeing on my F side. I do it for pleasure, for me this is not an urge, I could possibly be full time F but then this will be as same as being full time M.

What is cross dressing and what cross gender? Difference? I have couple of articles that deal with these issues. I have not formed opinion on this, but so far I understand that thre is cross dressing for various reasons of which one is cross gender, from other side to be cross gender it doesnot necessarily mean that you have to cross dress. I have found some women all dressed female with such masculine behaviour, thoughts and attitudes, say woman with man's brain, and vice versa. SO far I tend to believe that cross dressing is art and expression, and cross gender is attitude and mental abilities. Although I know I am cross dresser I am unsure if I am cross gendered. This may get very complex as diversity is significant I am possilby belonging to a set of certain kind dressing for certain reasons.

But do we really need to create some taxonomy here ? Feelings and attitudes comprise better results here. We learn more from hearing each other. This board is discovery for me. I CAN SPEAK TO SOMEONE ABOUT IT!!!! That is wonderful!!!!

JustmeBear
04-22-2004, 10:27 AM
Thank you Justmebear! This is good explanation. I am just courious what you find in it? 100% accepting (in fact tit is not, as you said, you always have choice to accept something or not). But what is great about you two is that you support him, you are not indiferent. If he comes with something you will try to see it in best light. That I find very good and very healthy. But how that makes YOU feel?

I am courious what kind of person you are, and what you find satisfactory to you....?

I am not really sure what you mean by how that makes me feel...I really kind of said how I was feeling already...but as far as what he does and the life style he lives, I think it is great!! Let me see if I can explain this...For me the accepting part really shouldn't be considered accepting...I'll tell you why....I was hoping that some day I would find a man who could "express" himself..in that manner...I really shouldn't say I have accepted what he does...because in a sense it is a "quality" I was looking for....Kind of like saying I accept my boyfriend because he is nice to me.....That is something that is wanted....you don't accept the fact that he is nice because that is a quality you were already looking for....I hope I just made sense...If I didn't I apologize.
For ALL part I wouldn't change a thing about him.....I love everything about him...!!!!!!!

Not sure what you mean by what kind of person I am..I know I am "different" then other people..I see things from a whole different angle..I treat people no different then the way I would want to be treated

What I find satisfactory..In which sense...???

Stelli
04-22-2004, 11:38 PM
Thank you again JustMeBear.

You are possibly the second personality of this kind I encounter in my life. First one was some quite a while ago and that was in real life. We did not have relationship but she was, oh boy, really a character. I think I can associate.

Please do not mind me inquisitive. I do live with my wife which OK's what I do, but that is as far as it goes. I think she, although doesnot mind me doing it and to certain extent helps me, is not (again) (kind of) completely satisfied with it. I cannot say in which sense but in a way I think I unitentionally trigger with her some sort of fem competition. She can beat me en femme at any time it is her native gender but I wish it is not like that, I wish that she can cross. Since I started paying attention to my fem side I started trusting to my own feelings. Even started finding out that my mind sees things differently. In a way I am developing my senses and understandings. And by now I can tell when I feel something is not without the reason. So what I say does apply to her.

Why I am asking you? Simply, you can give me insight that I cannot find with her. By now I understand that you have your own desires and since you have been looking and have found your BF who can comlement you. This sounds as happy relation. The rest of relationship is personality. I am simply trying to understand your model and motivation in this relationship...

Some practical everyday questions: (if you do not mind answering) does he also take other typical fem chores at home? Meaning do you (both) just do this for pleasure or you are doing it more in sense of archetype roles?

JustmeBear
04-23-2004, 11:08 AM
Thank you again JustMeBear.

You are possibly the second personality of this kind I encounter in my life. First one was some quite a while ago and that was in real life. We did not have relationship but she was, oh boy, really a character. I think I can associate.

Please do not mind me inquisitive. I do live with my wife which OK's what I do, but that is as far as it goes. I think she, although doesnot mind me doing it and to certain extent helps me, is not (again) (kind of) completely satisfied with it. I cannot say in which sense but in a way I think I unitentionally trigger with her some sort of fem competition. She can beat me en femme at any time it is her native gender but I wish it is not like that, I wish that she can cross. Since I started paying attention to my fem side I started trusting to my own feelings. Even started finding out that my mind sees things differently. In a way I am developing my senses and understandings. And by now I can tell when I feel something is not without the reason. So what I say does apply to her.

Why I am asking you? Simply, you can give me insight that I cannot find with her. By now I understand that you have your own desires and since you have been looking and have found your BF who can comlement you. This sounds as happy relation. The rest of relationship is personality. I am simply trying to understand your model and motivation in this relationship...

Some practical everyday questions: (if you do not mind answering) does he also take other typical fem chores at home? Meaning do you (both) just do this for pleasure or you are doing it more in sense of archetype roles?


I am completely satisfied with every part of my relationship...
I am happy, excited, over joyed that I have met the person I am with...If I were to describe the perfect person for me...He would be that person....The way he makes me feel, is something I have never felt before....Our common interests, our personalities/sense of humor..it doesn't get any better then that...What I mean is I truly feel there is someone out there for everyone and I feel that he and I are some how suppose to be together in some way shape or form....
Not really sure what you mean by motivation.....I just know that I have someone in my life that I can be me with..someone who doesn't judge me for what I have done and who I am..someone who treats me like I have always wanted to be treated by that special someone....Being that our relationship is fairly new in some sense....I have all the time in the world to see were our relationship takes us. "it is how you are treated"
I never set out looking for a man who cds...I look at it as If I found that special someone and he didn't cd then I would accept that but then if I found someone who did cd then that would be awesome..It would be a plus in the relationship.
All in all I wouldn't give up my relationship that I have for anything...where our relationship is going to take us. I do not know....
As far as doing it all the time or for pleasure, I can only speak for myself as I did give a little insight on what my bf does..but he does do it on a daily basis...as far as me...I do not do it on a daily basis..Ummmm I feel I would more then likely just do it at home or on the weekends and go to night clubs...My parents aren't too happy and do not accept this of me...
My opinion is that if you are with someone and they can not accept you 100%..then what is there motivation for staying....because then you get someone that instead of accepting you completely for all of who you are....They maybe accepting of your man hood but only tolerating your fem side...and to me If you have to tolerate something why do it in the first place....example when I was a kid...my mother made me eat veggies...I tolerated that...I ate each bite with a funny look on my face...Instead of accepting the fact I had to eat them and to enjoy every bite.
If you don't accept but instead tolerate....you are really not enjoying everything about that person....But again that is my opinion and like asses..everyone has one.
I hope I helped a little...

Gabrielle
04-23-2004, 09:10 PM
Sounds to me like you are asking a question to something you have already formulated an answer to.

I wish I could help, but really cannot form an opinion on the matter. Sometimes people give advice in haste which could be right but could also be completely wrong.

Whatever advice you get on this matter, I would suggest not being too trusting of it.

In order to form a good opinion, you need an informed opinion. And at the least, in order to do that, you need the views of all parties involved.

Hasty, one sided opinions are at the root of many of the issues in society.
(How many people out in the world believe that crossdressing is bad and ridicule it without having the faintest idea what it actually is.
There is hardly a day that goes by where I don't hear a "gay or transvestite" joke.)

Again, I don't mean to sound upset. But simply trying to make a point.

One thing I can say. Good relationships are built with time. And if there is something that is really troubling you with it then, take the time to really ponder if the relationship is really what you want. Don't make hasty decisions.

Hope you all the best!
Gabrielle :)

JustmeBear
04-24-2004, 10:44 AM
If I have formulated an answer I have missed it completely.....

Gabrielle
04-24-2004, 03:07 PM
I guess I was wrong then!

Does my reasoning at least make sense?

JustmeBear
04-24-2004, 04:38 PM
Yes your reasoning makes sense and maybe if I am more patient then things will start happening.....Who knows

Oh Stelli...I think I know what you meant by model....I am the woman in the relationship and my bf is a man who lives his life as a woman. Does that answer your question!!!!!!!

Abraxas
04-30-2004, 08:08 PM
I've looked all over for information on female transvestism and crossdressing and haven't found anything. I realise that there are extremely few of us but we need an outlet too. Or, I do anyway. Just because I'm seriously in the minority here doesn't mean that I don't deserve a forum too.
I've never heard of any othr female tvs at all, and I've looked. I am interested in talking to anybody who has an opinion on the matter and was hoping to find a few female tvs in here, but I guess there aren't any. :(
I'll continue looking, but I hope that people here will be willing to talk even if they aren't like me.

Abraxas
05-02-2004, 02:58 AM
Thanks for your empathy-- it's better than nothing :)
To answer your questions (to the best of my ability, since this is a relatively new thing for me)
Um... It's not a sexual thing necessarily. I'm not aroused by wearing blokes' clothes. It's a sexuality thing. I simply feel like I should have been made a boy and act accordingly, I guess. It's a bit difficult to explain, as you must know.

I'm 18

I don't feel uncomfortable. I've been doing it since I was quite young and so am used to it. The first time I bought mens briefs I was a bit nervous. I had bought boxers before but then a lot of girls wear boxers. I got over that rather quickly, however. I'm much more uncomfortable in the womens department. I feel like I shouldn't be there at all. I never go there, unless I'm with somebody who's buying womens clothes. I feel especially uncomfortable in the womens underwear department and if I never had to look at a tampon again it would be too soon. I can't stand that department. I feel the eyes of the world on me and I know I shouldn't be there, even though in some cases I need to be.

I don't feel ashamed of it-- again probably because I started at such a young age and it became a normal thing. My family always used to tell me I'd "grow out of it" by the time I was such- and- such age. I would just say, "well, maybe, but I bet not." However... If someone in my family were to find my "packing device", I would feel very uncomfortable talking about it. I also don't bind because of this. I don't want anybody to ask questions simply because I've tried subtly hinting at things and they just don't understand. Luckily my friends all seem to but my family seem to think that girls can't be transvestites, no matter how much I explain that they can.

Expression of inner male self? Yes, I guess so. Because as I said, I felt like I should have been born male. It actually is half expressing the male side and half surpressing the female side.

Hope I've answered your questions, and please feel free to ask more. Also, you can check out my website for more information.

JustmeBear
05-02-2004, 11:37 AM
I think the reason there are less FTMs than MTFs is because girls can pretty-much wear guys stuff anyway.. for us guys, lacey panties are the forbidden fruit..

I have said this before..I some what agree with you that in away it might be easier for woman to get away with cding then it it for a man....

BUT...........do you think society would be just as accepting of me If I were to walk in a restaurant wearing a mans suit and tie?...(rather then jeans and a t-shirt)...I think not

Abraxas
05-02-2004, 11:37 PM
I get no problems walking round in a suit and tie. I do it quite frequently. Day before yesterday I wore a suit, in fact. I get no problems at all. I will wear anything from a suit to torn jeans to heavy metal gear. The only area I have trouble with is the swimsuits, for obvious reasons :)

Stelli
05-03-2004, 01:56 AM
Yes your reasoning makes sense and maybe if I am more patient then things will start happening.....Who knows

Oh Stelli...I think I know what you meant by model....I am the woman in the relationship and my bf is a man who lives his life as a woman. Does that answer your question!!!!!!!

Indeed. Yet, knowing myself it is not that easy to define where it stops being man and starts being woman and where it stops being woman and starts being man.

Sorry, I did not visit this thread for a while, and I think we also discussed in another thread. I am somewhat courious what really is a problem with you. Are you just emotional because of your past or your simply find difficulty soring yourself out in the new relationship?

In a way I feel haste from your side. I must admit I do not believe in haste when it comes to relationships.... Things take time to define themselves and to weight them in the right proportion and accept or refuse to be part of something.

But one thing is interesting: I find most of woman that accept their male side very complex in fact in a way more complex than majority of women that would just be in their fem roles. And that complexity as far as I feel belongs just about everywhere else except in sexual waters. Yet sexual orientiation is subject.

I'd really like to understand this ?!?

JustmeBear
05-03-2004, 09:01 PM
Indeed. Yet, knowing myself it is not that easy to define where it stops being man and starts being woman and where it stops being woman and starts being man.

Sorry, I did not visit this thread for a while, and I think we also discussed in another thread. I am somewhat courious what really is a problem with you. Are you just emotional because of your past or your simply find difficulty soring yourself out in the new relationship?

In a way I feel haste from your side. I must admit I do not believe in haste when it comes to relationships.... Things take time to define themselves and to weight them in the right proportion and accept or refuse to be part of something.

But one thing is interesting: I find most of woman that accept their male side very complex in fact in a way more complex than majority of women that would just be in their fem roles. And that complexity as far as I feel belongs just about everywhere else except in sexual waters. Yet sexual orientiation is subject.

I'd really like to understand this ?!?

Stelli...
First off my relationship with my boyfriend is quite different then anyone I have ever had before..Besides the fact that he cdes....I have never been with someone who wants to wait for intimacy....Though I can see how if someone wears womans clothes underneith...would want to wait for intimacy as fear of what the other person may say....It really isn't a problem I am actually cool with him wanting to wait for sex because he said he wanted to make sure it is love and not lust...So I gather when he does make the move to have sex with me...That is his way of telling me he loves me....

As far as me wanting to dress him....do his nails...actually see him fully dressed...I can wait..There is no haste on my part there...I was just curious as to what or when is the right time...I mean h e says this is a daily thing for him but I am thinking other wise....
He said he didn't consider himself a crossdresser because he doesn't go home and put on clothes to just wear around the house..He has told me that he wears ladies clothing everyday and he wears dresses, skirts ,hose, high heels etc to work....To me that is like saying he is more comfortable dressed as a woman around his co workers then he is me...Do you understand what I am saying....here we have been seeing each other since Nov 2003 and though that might not seem like a long time I feel it is long enough to feel comfortable with someone.....

I have had problems in past relationships..yeah and I might be emotional...I find myself lost in this relationship because he is different then anyone I have ever been with and If you were in my shoes you would know what I am trying to say....There is not enough web space........

For me I have never dressed on a daily basis...I do it on the weekends and sometimes at home..Yeah I am a closet cd...I am not sure I have a more masculine side then the average woman....I just like to see the world through the eyes of a man.....and what better way to do it then to be one right?
I love being a woman....I feel comfortable as a woman and I would never cd as a man on a daily basis.....In my relationship I play the role of the woman and my bf is the man....Though he dresses like a woman..I am ok with that..I am secure enough with my sexuality that I do find woman attractive...am I gay or bi....No....I like how a woman looks and I like the fem thing and maybe that is one of my reasons for wanting to be with someone who cds....
He treats me like I treat him and that to me is soo hard to find......

So yeah...I am a female who once in awhile like to orientate myself as a male....
My bf has not seen me like that yet and it isn't that I wont or dont want to do it for him....He just really hasnt asked.....
He says one day he would like to see what I look like all "decked" out because he can not beleive that I pass as a male..and I have plenty of times....If I have missed anything just let me know..I hope I have answered your questions

Stelli
05-04-2004, 12:35 AM
It's like getting fog away. It is extremely interesting what you have wrote to me. Now I believe that I can understand way more than I originally had imagination. Also I think that I finally grasped what you meantin in previous postings. What I understand now is completely different than what I have imagined at the first place.

My current understanding says this: You both accepted yourselves as crossing over the line of archetypal gender roles. And in a way you did it in order to explore your own personalities. He obiously does it as a lifestyle. The fact is that your personalities match on outer level but actually trigger more deeper feelings. I find crossdressing also as a message.

Now I can understand him. And I start from my side on that: Crossdressing helped me to have female feelings. Dressing is just a tool to be in a gender role. In female feelings world I do desire my counterpart (which I do not have and I do believe that this is unique that you have between you two). When I am on my fem, waiting for intimacy is pleasure on its own. To me it is like tunning to the right frequency.

Now, you happen to step on each other in complimentary way. You know that you match and this causes or as I have said triggers deeper emotions that are connected to your intrisic gender but on a intimate personal level. The one that you do not need to advertise because you are a person you are. So, you both become precious to each other as you can relate without outer need of making a dressing statement. This leads that you feel like woman as you are and he as man as he is in a blend of relations or attitudes that makes you complete as couple. Since you both know what it takes to be on another side it may take a time to put everything in its place. From what I just read about him I admire him and I admire you for care and I admire you both for being patient and loving to each other. This is THE VALUE of your relationship.

I am sure that there will be the time when you can both enjoy being cross but I am even more sure now that you are going to be fine as you are.

If it helps you being confused maybe that is already part of the getting closer. I believe you love each other, and I think that you find it somewhat difficult to accept that this is a case. Love is transcendent to sex.

In a way I think that he may even stop CDing with you for a while. The problems that you have had in your past relations look completely inapplicable for this one. I do not know but I reckon it is that you have had straight people. I can understand that, I have had a lot of problems in my relationships as I had tendency to relate to straight women.

To conclude, in this understanding I will let him lead the relation. And you take over when he becomes tired of leading, then he will submit to CD for you because that will be different statement than his CD on a lifestyle basis. I wish and I am almost sure that you both will have long fruitful loving relationship where CDing is just a part of life and your personalities fill the rest.

How does this sound to you?

JustmeBear
05-04-2004, 03:43 AM
How does this sound to you?[/QUOTE]

Wow...atleast on my part..you hit the nail right on the head....That is how I feel....and that is how it is for me....
There is one thing that I am not sure of...I know that I love him and he may love me but I think once he takes that intimate step is when I can be sure that he does love me....When he looks at me I see something in his eyes that I have never seen before...and I could say that yeah it is love on his part as well...but again..once he takes that step to be intimate..then I will know for sure

I know that this man is the man for me...and I can only hope that he feels I am the woman for him....

We are much alike in more then just the cding...Our personalities do match quite well I must say...we get along great...Though it might not seem like it..Our communication is great....Compared to my other relationships.....

When I am with him I know he doesn't judge me...That's why I feel I can be open as I am with him...

Thank you for your response....you really have helped me and kinda put my mind at ease....No one else really understand me...I am glad you do...

Stelli
05-04-2004, 10:36 PM
Wow...atleast on my part..you hit the nail right on the head....That is how I feel....and that is how it is for me....

Now I am amazed too. Getting to know that I can grasp it. I come here because I await your writting. It's all good and it is inspirative. I am very pleased to read your message and I am also pleased to find out that this is possible - to find approprite mate. I am soo glad about you two. Keep me posted.

You know dressing with me triggers certain kind of feelings and that is something I enjoy the most. In this case it is combination of dressing and feeling close to someone.

You are way south to me, but who known maybe there will be the time to meet you IRL.

Stelli
05-04-2004, 10:43 PM
I forgot one more thing, when I am on my fem I feel assertive however somewhat passive. Maybe you will be the one to judge and lead the first move :)

One question: when you meet just two of you is either of you CD at that time? (I guees not from what I remember)

JustmeBear
05-05-2004, 03:51 AM
When we see each other I am not usually dressed....though he is in away...Most times when we go out in public..he is wearing mens clothes but has womans cloths underneath....As far as when I go to his house...he is usally wearing womans clothes....A few times reccently that I have gone over there he even has had his bra stuffed...So I feel that he is coming along..Slowly but surely....I asked him if he would like to go to a club one night where cding is accepted and he said he would...then I too would dress

While there might be many reasons for me to "accept" the fact that my bf cds...I really look at it as a man expressing his inner self....expressing his fem side...expressing his sensativity...and so forth....That right there by itself is very attractive....If he feels he wants to dress to finish expressing himself...I am behind him 150%....

I would say, yes I am very far south of you...lol...

No one has ever said they wanted to meet me from a message board...not a bad thing..just has never happened...so maybe one day

I too look forward to your replies and what you have to say...It is very intruiging and I have really learned alot....

KittyMuffin
06-15-2004, 04:03 PM
think I should shut it down until the site grows a bit more?

If you shut it down then it will not grow more. It will stop and everyone who is here already will leave.

Abraxas
06-16-2004, 03:28 PM
Thanks, Andreu (and wife)! Glad to know that there are a few people like me around :)
Abraxas