If only it wasn't my husband

[Lulie GG]

I have no problem people being gay, lesbian or bi sexual or crossdressers except when it comes to the crossdresser being my husband.

I can read about it to learn yet when I think of him as a cd it can freak me at times.

He has brought me a book My Husband Betty to help me and now I find myself worrying if the kids will find the book like I found his hidden panties. I worry I might leave evidence of this site for the kids to find, he knows I've come to this forum.

I got upset when I have read some of his inner thoughts on this and other forums.

He originally said he would try to give up to keep me but I realise that isn't really an option. On talking to him I know he doesn't really want to.

As I have said before I love this man.

I CAN ACCEPT CROSSDRESSERS AS LONG AS ONE OF THEM ISN'T MY HUSBAND.

[Rayna]

I have no problem people being gay, lesbian or bi sexual or crossdressers except when it comes to the crossdresser being my husband.

I can read about it to learn yet when I think of him as a cd it can freak me at times.

He has brought me a book My Husband Betty to help me and now I find myself worrying if the kids will find the book like I found his hidden panties. I worry I might leave evidence of this site for the kids to find, he knows I've come to this forum.

I got upset when I have read some of his inner thoughts on this and other forums.

He originally said he would try to give up to keep me but I realise that isn't really an option. On talking to him I know he doesn't really want to.

As I have said before I love this man.

I CAN ACCEPT CROSSDRESSERS AS LONG AS ONE OF THEM ISN'T MY HUSBAND.


You love him, and that's great. But you loved him while he was doing this too. Sure, you found out something new about him, but he is the same person he always was!

Do you lose anything in the relationship by him having a feminine side? not really. Do you gain anything? Absolutely! I am pretty certain he has a much greater appreciation for the things you do for him (shaving legs, makeup, all the effort of finding the right outfit). If anything, consider yourself lucky to have a partner who understands more of your role, and who is most likely a more caring partner than the tradional "manly man".

Good luck, and don't give up on him.

[Rachel_740]

I CAN ACCEPT CROSSDRESSERS AS LONG AS ONE OF THEM ISN'T MY HUSBAND.


Lulie,

It's great to hear you're not against dressing (fully). It must be an awful wrench for you to learn this of your hubby, but give yourself time (and get him to give you time). If you're not against dressing, perhaps, in time you can get used to the idea that hubby is one of the people that you CAN accept.

Come to an agreement between yourselves that he only dresses when you're not around - that should be a good and workable compromise.

Anne

[StephanieCD]

Hi.

I'd like to volunteer myself if you need someone to ask questions to or anything. You can PM me if you like.

I was once in a relationship with a woman who said pretty much what you're saying - she didn't care, except when it 'hit home'.

I'd guess the feelings you're feeling are pretty much part of the cycle of acceptance - if that's where your cycle is going. I'd guess, by your presence here, that you are headed that way. To read the books... the sites... open dialogs - that's the only way you'll be able to accept it, really. You're on the right path.

There are degrees of acceptance, also. All of us in relationships have 'rules' - things she JUST WON'T do or thing's he's not comfortable with... etc. You need to explore your feelings in your own time - tell him to be patient, that you're trying your best - and find what you are ok with and not ok with... it could be that you never want to see it but don't mind if he keeps it secret. It could be that you don't mind him having painted toenails on holidays - whatever it is... search yourself one step at a time and he better damn well be grateful, respect your wishes, and abide by the secrecy from the kids... but - most of us don't have a problem hiding...

Sounds like you are trying - good for you. Patience, on both your parts, will carry you through this. The only more important thing will be COMMUNICATION... silence caused the 'problem' in the first place.

Welcome to the forums, btw.

[Wendy me]

ok i think i know a little abought how you are thinking see my wife knows of my fem side but is not supportive of it,she has said that it makes her feel weird that i like to do what i do....and she is uncomftable with the thought of my dressing..such thoughts
that cause her to be uncomfetable....even though she can see some crossdress on the talk shows (not jerrys...trash tv) and watch it the thought of my cding is something she dose not want to deal with...we are makeing progress small steps at a time.....

[Darlene.]

I have no problem people being gay, lesbian or bi sexual or crossdressers except when it comes to the crossdresser being my husband.
I CAN ACCEPT CROSSDRESSERS AS LONG AS ONE OF THEM ISN'T MY HUSBAND.

Hmmmm. It is alright in your back yard but not in mine. :confused:

Hi Lulie.

There are no absolutes in this picture other than what applies directly to you or your husband. Each and every one of us are different, there is not one mold that fits all of us. In other words what I am saying is no one has the right to tell you this is the way you should go about anything. Or what one or the other of you should do.

You may or may not be able to live with this, so don't feel bad about the way you feel. May I suggest that you continue to research this thing and feel free to decide just where if any where you are able to fit into this thing. And make your choices based on what you discover about your self. You might be surprised at what you discover.

Best of luck to you.
Love Darlene.

[Fiona K]

Lulie,
I feel for you, I did the same to my wife and came out last year and it has been hard.

I can reccomend the book and the web site for support:
www.myhusbandbetty.com

Communications and care for each other, right now more his for you than the other way around, are the most imp[ortant thing.

Talk about where to keep clothes and the book etc so the kids need never know. Talk about how you feel to him and listen to the secret things he's posted online, first hand.

Most of all stay in love and together. It can be done!
Good luck to you both
Fiona
xx

[Julie York]

If you can put in words what it is that makes you feel uncomfortable, you'll learn a great deal about crossdressing and yourself. Good luck. You've got the right approach. And what you are feeling is far from unusual.

[kymmieLorain]

Wow, interesting topic. I guess I am one of the lucky one whos wife accepts my choice in undergarments. I have even talked about going farther.
As for the kids finiding out. I believe my 17yo knows, it is hard to cover shaved legs all the time. plus all my boys know I wear polish on my toes. no big thing to them.

But on the other hand my wife thinks homosexuals are horable and deviant. I think she fails to realize I am in the same catagory, G,L,TS,CD. Could we( CDs) be on the extreme side of metrosexual.

Kymmie

[Pip]

My 2 cents....

My wife and I sort of discovered this by accident. What we found out was that it was erotic to me. I don't dress to be a girl, and it's probable that the same goes for your husband. I am dressing because the feel of the garments, the look of the nails, the smooth legs, the smell of the make up....all are very sensual. This in turn brings out....well....a more energetic side of me.

What my wife has gained from this new found hobby is that I have become the tiger in the bedroom that I was when we first got married. So there is something in it for both of us. I bet if you were to work at it you can find that there is something in it for both of you as well.

Best of luck to the both of you and you have come to the right forum for information on this subject.

Yours Truly,
Pip

[Julie]

Lulie,

One of the things that keeps prejudice alive is ignorance. I'm not saying the people are necessarily ignorant, just uneducated about that which they have a prejudice against. If you learn all you can and maybe join a spouse support group, I would imagine in time it won't bother you like it does now.

Also learn how to handle this with your kids. They will find out eventually and if you teach them a lifetime of intolerance that will be hard to unlearn when they find out about their dad. And I'm sure you won't want them hating their dad for something he had no choice in.

It's all about becoming as educated as you can. Then when you are confronted with a tough situation, you'll know how to handle it. And you can pass your knowledge on to your kids and the rest of the family. Your husband needs your support and by giving it I'm sure you'll be richly rewarded.

[FionaAlexis]

Hi Lulie,

Its about three years since I told my wife I was TG.

Her initial reaction was one of very reluctant acceptance. Within a short time time she was alternatively one day angry and the next day grieving. She expressed feelings like loss of husband, loss of future, bringing embarrassment to her and my daughter. And of course, being TG, that my confession was the foreshadowing of something bigger - transitioning to female. She expressed anger at being deceived and badly let down - and I felt very guilty and very insensitive - and very selfish - and I was.

When I told her I said she could discuss the issue with her best friend who happened to be a GP. Recently she told me that, at the time, she had sought further professional counselling in dealing with the problem.

During the first year, it seemed that every argument would degenerate into a slanging match of insult about me being TG. Everything I did was now suddenly regarded as feminine including household chores and even my interaction with my daughter. For my part I was continually tense and on the defensive - always ready to lash back.

Down the track we have both adjusted - our relationship is not as it was, it is different but it is strong. We have compromised. My wife is much more self sufficient than she was. She doesn't want to participate in my TG activities nor do I want her to be involved. She has seen that I have not brought ridicule on the family. I have not become erratic or abdicated my responsibilities. She accepts that I need some space, that to maintain some level of self image and self esteem I need to present as a female in the wider world on a regular basis. And that I need to maintain some contact with other TGs albiet mainly on the 'net.

I think most CDs and TGs are fearful of telling their partners. But some over rationalise their own condition and behaviour - and some deceive themselves that their wife will soon accept their cd-ing to the point of enjoying participation. And I'm sure there are a few women who do. But, by in large, heterosexual women do not set out to marry pretend females - and it comes as a helluva shock and it is a relationship defining moment.

Every woman in this situation deals with it in their own way. And, at the end of the day, Lulie - given that your husband has made a choice - you are free to make yours.

Fiona

[Amelie]

Fiona Alexis has given a good point of view. I especially like the last line.

Your husband has made a choice, you are free to make yours.

Amelie

[Brightredruby]

I'm sorry about the abrupt change your life is making. Whether you were ready or not the universe has something special instore for you. What faces you and what decisions you make are going to tell you alot about who you really are, what you believe in, your values and morals and your spiritual aspirations.

I would invite you to consider that some of the things you may believe and think right now arn't really your beliefs but some that have rubbed off on you over the years. They may belong to your parents, your church, your community, your schooling, your government. Look at them critically and seek other opinions and options.

I'm wondering.................

Will you turn out to be loving, open hearted, tolerant, compassionate, forgiving, supporting, respecting, honoring, fearless, confident, independent, strong, committed, happier, more joyful
or
Will you turn out to be something else.

You've heard that we have control over our own lives. That we can trust ourselves. That we can write our own stories. That we can live as happily as we choose. That it really is our choice. What if these things are really true?

[DonnaT]

Hi Lulie,

My wife has known for 29 years and still wishes I wasn't a CD. However, she knows it's a part of me, that I was born this way, and there is no cure for it. see http://www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg01.html and http://www.marybethsanford.com/sec500/pg06.html

Sure, we can choose to "try" and not CD, but it may affect our mental or physical well being. And yes, an SO trying to cope with it may be likewise affected. At least the SO can call it quits if it gets to be too much, but the CDer is stuck with it.

I'm glad you are reading My Husband Betty, and trying to educate yourself on this new revelation. I'd also like to point out a web page that has letters from SOs you might find interesting: http://www.3dcom.com/couples/vkol/COUPLES.HTML and the web site: http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm

[emmicd]

Dear Lulie,

I can understand your reaction after finding out about your husband's cross dressing activities. It is normal to feel the way you do. Don't feel guilty about that.

Now that you know can be a good thing. Because your husband can feel a sense of relief and not feel so closeted and isolated. I'm sure he knows how he should act in your and your children's presence. He should respect your wishes and not force it on you or your family.

It seems that men who cross dress do it for various reasons which even to them may not seem so obvious. It will take time and understanding and maybe some counseling.

This website is a good resource and there is a lot of published literature on the subject.

If you love your husband and children and you know that he loves you and your children then you know it is certainly worth getting through this difficult time and be supportive of each other. We are all children in the eyes of God and we all have our weakness. We are not perfect.

I am also a closet cross dresser and I am married to a beautiful woman and we have a beautiful son. My wife and son always come first and I respect my wife's wishes. I never cross dress in front of her with the exception of wearing a woman's style trouser on occasion. They fit me better and I like the look.

She looks the other way regarding my cross dressing so I honor that and will never force it on my wife or anyone for that matter.

I am a loving husband and loving father with a little feminine side like your husband.

I wish you both well.

Good Luck!

Emmi

[polly1949er]

Hi i want to let you know theres nothing wrong about your husband wanting to dress its her way off expressing her feeling she just wants to feel pretty and soft like us it doesnt mean that she is gay or anything else we as wowmen we can wear mens clothing nothing is ever said whats wrong with our men dressing like wowmen . I am free spireted in some ways let people be what they want if you love him acecpt him the way he is just like you are who you are........ good luck to you both :)

polly :thumbsup:

[Sweet Susan]

Lulie,
Do you wear jeans, flannel shirts, tenny runners, t-shirts, and/or ball caps? Have you ever driven a pick up? Ever work on a car? Have you ever accepted a job previously and/or currently held by a man? Do you consider yourself liberated? Just curious.

[Rachel_740]

Lulie,
Do you wear jeans, flannel shirts, tenny runners, t-shirts, and/or ball caps? Have you ever driven a pick up? Ever work on a car? Have you ever accepted a job previously and/or currently held by a man? Do you consider yourself liberated? Just curious.

I think this sort of suggestion where someone says a GG is a crossdresser because she wears jeans is inaccurate. A crossdresser is someone who wears the clothes of the OTHER sex. You get male and female jeans, shirts, underwear AND SKIRTS!!!!!!!!!!

If I had gone out (prior to my transition wearing a kilt - national dress of Scotland - I wouldn't have been classed as a crossdresser and nobody would have questioned it. The only reason it would attract attention is because you don't see it very often.

Anne

[Lulie GG]

Thanks for your support.

to the last two postings, if I wear trousers which I admit I do most of the time, they are girly trousers or jeans with girly top. I do not wear trousers to be like a man. I have no interest in being like a man or acting like a man even though I wear trousers and thats the difference to that argument.

When I did not have a clean pair of panties a few months ago I actually wore a pair of hubbies male pants they did nothing for me, it was just a practical thing on my part.

I have this converstation with my hubby and I hope I'm not being critical when I say that argument is bull-shit.

I haven't seen my hubby much over the last few days due to work commitments, but we are still talking and working through things through. I think we are in for a long process.

I have made him promise if I start to run he must hang on to me.

Lulie

[Tamara Croft]

Thanks for your support.

to the last two postings, if I wear trousers which I admit I do most of the time, they are girly trousers or jeans with girly top. I do not wear trousers to be like a man. I have no interest in being like a man or acting like a man even though I wear trousers and thats the difference to that argument.

Well said. Just because we wear trousers, doesn't make us crossdressers!!! I never did understand the logic behind those that said that......... makes no bloody sense at all :rolleyes:

:welcom: to the forum :D

[Adrianne]

I hope you two can work everything out i did the same to my girlfriend and i told her all about my crossdressing and we worked it out, plus she nows buy's me clothes and helps me with my makeup.

I Wish the two of all the best for the future as it is going to be hard but by the sounds of it two of you want it to work, All the best for the future.

Take care Adrianne.

[StephanieCD]

I have made him promise if I start to run he must hang on to me.

Well done. Make sure you let him, btw ;)

[FionaAlexis]

I have this converstation with my hubby and I hope I'm not being critical when I say that argument is bull-shit.


Yes it is and I find it demeaning and it trivialises how I feel. But then I think all arguments that try to justify crossdressing at a superficial, logical or social level are bullshit.

In truth we just are transgendered. Thats it. And it should require no further justification. However how we live our lives is quite a different matter.

Fiona xx

[GypsyKaren]

A lot of anything I can say has already been covered by others, so I'll pass. My wife knows I'm tg and accepts it, though it was hard at first because she didn't fully understand that's who I was. Now she's pretty cool with it.

When you stop and think about it, your husband is doing nothing wrong, he's the same person you've always loved. It's not like he's running around the neighborhood naked setting fires to houses, he's just expresssing himself in a way that might be different than other people. Whether he's a good husband and father is what's important, not the choice of clothes being worn. Try to be open to it, if after awhile you keep having problems with it , you can ask that it be kept out of sight out of mind. I think that would be a mistake, but you got to find your own comfort zone with all of this.
GypsyKaren

[Stephenie]

I don't mean this as an attack on you or to make you feel bad but, I think that the title of the thread says alot about alot of people. "Not in my back yard" People seem to believe that everybody need a home but don't put the homeless shelter in my neighborhood, Handicapped kids need to go to school but not with my kids. Gay,liesbein, and transgender people have right but not the same as mine. It is always harder to stand up for what you believe when doing so affects us in our own lifes.

You seem like you want to be able to understand and accept this new way but it's hitting so close to you that all you can do is duck and cover. Don't run from your husband but to him. life is better when you can share it with someone specail. Both of you can put boundaries on behavour, It is done in every marrage. Look inside just as you want him to look inside of you.

Best wishes

[Lulie GG]

He isn't doing anything wrong its not hurting anyone, well yes the only person its hurting is me the person he says he loves more than anything else.

I love him but hes put my life in turmoil.

He can hide behind 'you can't give up' etc, therefore I'm the one who either accepts, tolerates or runs.

I have loved my hubby for 20 years yet there is this other personality that I do not know I have a lot of things to come to terms with and it looks like a long bumpy road.

The man I love isn't all the man I love, its got nothing to do with being too close to home.

It seems to me CDs have a good support network yet and lots of sites yet as a SO I feel very isolated.

Saying that I am about to ask to join the GG forum.

Hopefully I will be posting again in a few months time joyous that we have worked things out together.

Many thanks for listening

Lulie

[Amelie]

Lulie, I am trying to understand how you feel. I do have one question. Did you husband tell you before you both got married that he was a crossdresser?

If he didn't tell you, then I can understand your feelings, not only do you have to deal with your husbands CDing, but also the not being totally honest on his part. You haven't mentioned this aspect in your posts,I can see this would make things more difficult for you.

Again, we can give advise, whether it is good or bad, but it is going to come down to you and your husband talking things through.

All the best.
Amelie

[Julie York]

If it's any help......Crossdressers give me the creeps too.


And I AM one!!

:D

[Kimberly]

If it's any help......Crossdressers give me the creeps too.


And I AM one!!

:D
Amen to that.... some of us can be weeeeird!

Me included! (sometimes)

[eileen1969]

wishing from here to clear across the world. I went through the very same experience with my fromer wife. She does not like who I am and to be honest I have been this way she came into my life. Today she disowns me as thier father! There' s a lot of things beyond any one persons control this may be one of them love. It does take time for people to just accept....truth is you may or may not ever. I do pray for you both because this separated us among many other secrets that torn us apart. Much love Eileenxxxooo :Pray: :hiding: :evilbegon here yee here yeee! Eileen says love the person for who they are deep down inside unconditionally not for conditional love....

[Fiona K]

He isn't doing anything wrong its not hurting anyone, well yes the only person its hurting is me the person he says he loves more than anything else.

I love him but hes put my life in turmoil.

He can hide behind 'you can't give up' etc, therefore I'm the one who either accepts, tolerates or runs.

I have loved my hubby for 20 years yet there is this other personality that I do not know I have a lot of things to come to terms with and it looks like a long bumpy road.

The man I love isn't all the man I love, its got nothing to do with being too close to home.

It seems to me CDs have a good support network yet and lots of sites yet as a SO I feel very isolated.

Saying that I am about to ask to join the GG forum.

Hopefully I will be posting again in a few months time joyous that we have worked things out together.

Many thanks for listening

Lulie


Join the GG Forum, talk with the other SOs and get suppport from the only people who can truly know how you feel Lulie. The old story of the Narccissistic Tranny can be spot on.
Fiona
xx

[Lulie GG]

Amelie does it make me bad that he did tell me 20 years ago, I tried to accept then but found after a while could not, a lot has gone under the bridge since then and neither of us can remember exactly how it went away, OK I know it didn't for him but I do remember him throwing his case of clothes out at one time.

Obviously it didn't go away for him and he has been living hiding it away from me all these years, to be honest it hadn't occured to me over those years until of course I found the tell tell panties.

I have read some of his deepest fem thoughts on different forums and as a wife it is heart breaking, although he posted he loved me ,his wife, he also said how at last had found his true self as a crossdresser and finally felt at peace he had also pondered TS.

He is now telling me he will do almost anything to keep us together, although asked THE question he was truthful enough to say he didn't want to give up cding.

We have found a new closeness recently due to all this yet if I think of him cding I hit a brick wall.

If he dresses with my knowledge but not acceptance will he resent me in years to come for stifling him and does that lead to a rift in the marriage. I have read many post of 'her in doors' knowing but not accepting.

We are both going through a very confused time I am heartened by the posts of couples that have come through this but no doubt there are many many more who don't.

Please don't think badly of me now, thinking if I knew all those years ago I should be more understanding, prehaps I am as I know this ain't going to go away. I found this site my trawling the web trying to gain information so I could learn.

Lulie

[Fiona K]

Amelie does it make me bad that he did tell me 20 years ago, I tried to accept then but found after a while could not, a lot has gone under the bridge since then and neither of us can remember exactly how it went away, OK I know it didn't for him but I do remember him throwing his case of clothes out at one time.

Obviously it didn't go away for him and he has been living hiding it away from me all these years, to be honest it hadn't occured to me over those years until of course I found the tell tell panties.

I have read some of his deepest fem thoughts on different forums and as a wife it is heart breaking, although he posted he loved me ,his wife, he also said how at last had found his true self as a crossdresser and finally felt at peace he had also pondered TS.

He is now telling me he will do almost anything to keep us together, although asked THE question he was truthful enough to say he didn't want to give up cding.

We have found a new closeness recently due to all this yet if I think of him cding I hit a brick wall.

If he dresses with my knowledge but not acceptance will he resent me in years to come for stifling him and does that lead to a rift in the marriage. I have read many post of 'her in doors' knowing but not accepting.

We are both going through a very confused time I am heartened by the posts of couples that have come through this but no doubt there are many many more who don't.

Please don't think badly of me now, thinking if I knew all those years ago I should be more understanding, prehaps I am as I know this ain't going to go away. I found this site my trawling the web trying to gain information so I could learn.

Lulie


Lulie,
I hope no one thinks badly of you, this is a hell of a shock to any wife, we see that here from the number of failed marriages littering these boards and others. THere are other site too that have GG areas, use them and gain some support, you may even find some people to tralk to locally. You're still with him which alone makes you pretty special
Fiona
xx

www.myhusbandbetty.com
www.rosesforum.tv (a UK site)

[Lulie GG]

Thanks Fiona

and you know something I want to stay with him.



lukie

[CindyB]

Hi Lulie!

Just found this link and thought it might be of some help.

Page for Wives, Girlfriends, and Families (http://www.brinabryant.ca/webpages/Wives%20and%20SO's%20Page.htm)

[Amelie]

Lulie, you are not a bad person for feeling this way. I just felt that maybe there was more to your story, so we can understand better.
Now, from your last post I can see that you are having great difficulty coping.
I, in no way meant that you are a bad person, I just wanted you to open up more, maybe by writing your feelings on the forum might make your situation a bit better. Maybe your husband can see how you feel by your writing. I just thought more words from you could be of some help.

So, I still hope for the best for both of you.
Amelie

[Kimberly]

Lulie, my heart goes out to you! xx

Please try and remember the constants of your relationship: underneath all those clothes, he is still your husband. Like you are under your own clothes; you are still his wife.

[Dragster]

Lulie, I wish you all the best with your marriage, and as far as I can see you're going about it the right way. Things may seem bleak now, but I bet you'll both look back on this in a few years time and think "what was that all about? We're closer than ever!" I really hope so.

Thank you also for posting all you thoughts here, it really helps me to understand my own wife's feelings. I told my her about 15 years ago (after 20 years of marriage) that I really enjoyed wearing female clothes, and wanted to bring it into our relationship. I guess it was a bit of a shock, I didn't handle it well at all, she (understandably) reacted badly and her last words on the subject were that she "didn't want to know". For most of the last 15 years, I've been very discreet, and even though I've not yet been caught, I've hated the secrecy, but not known how to be open without causing her distress. Since discovering this site earlier this year (best thing that I could have done) I bought "My Husband Betty", read it myself, and asked my wife to read it, chapter by chapter, so we could discuss her feelings and mine to find common ground and see where we could go from here, together. When I brought the subject up again, she looked surprised that I was still "at it" (I must have hidden it real well!) but agreed to read the book. That was 3 months ago, and I know I'm going to have to start pushing soon, but I don't want to push too hard, it'll have the opposite result to the one I'm looking for. My bottom line is that I love my wife too much to do anything to spoil our marriage, she comes first with me every time, but I can't live without CDing either. I've tried to stop, but over a period, it increasingly occupies my thoughts and I get obsessed until I get a "fix". I desperately want to find a compromise we're both happy with, and I think you are in the same situation, but a bit further down the line than us; at least you are now communicating. I hope we catch up with you some day!

As a final word, if I can be of help to you, if you want another perspective on the CD side, feel free to PM me (my wife may see an e-mail on our shared computer before I do).

All the best to you both.

Tony

[Lulie GG]

I am grateful for all your replies to me it shows most of you are a caring lot, OK don't tell me its the fem side coming out.

I really appreciate you giving me advice and support especially as I am a SO trying to get my head round CDing which could be seen as threatening to some of you.

My daughter anounced this morning in front of my husband that I was sending secret emails in the evenings no doubt because I kept hiding the screen when she was walked in the room, perhaps she thinks I'm having an affair, that would be irronic, my hubby knows why I am surfing anyway.

Last note, he brought me a pressie a few weeks ago a bra and pants set (this was after I had found out), it was an 'I love you' pressie, which he assures me was a husband to wife pressie with no hidden meanings. Its an underwired bra, a type I haven't worn for over 15 years, I love it makes me feel sexy and certainly done wonders for my figure, so prehaps having a hubby that knows about bras isn't such a bad thing after all.

Time will tell.

Lulie

[Wendy me]

see the story has a happy ending ...we all love a happy ending ...most have something to do with shopping....

[Stephenie]

Lulie,

I don't think any of us would find a SO who is trying to get her head around this CD thing a threat. I think we would be over joyed with our SOs doing the same. I'm happy for both of you and hope that you will be happy with each other.

[GGmel]

Hello and welcome Lulie,

I'm also a wife of a crossdresser. We discovered, quite accidentally, that it is very erotic for him. (My previously reply was 'eaten by the ether' so I apologize if two replies show up)

Being new to this, I can only speak from our experience.
Crossdressing does not mean my husband is homosexual or in any way unfaithful to me. He is still the big 6'4" hunka burnin' love I fell in love with and married. He is still the man with whom I have shared happy times, challenging times, joy and sorrow. He has stood by me when I almost died and nursed me back to health and strength. He wrapped me in his arms when we learned of the healthy birth of our first grandchild last January.

Finding something erotic and fun can (and has for us) energize a relationship.

We have such fun selecting new things to wear and experimenting with makeup.

Please private message me any time if you'd like to correspond.

GGmel
(melinda)