Sad Easter

[Beth-Lock]

This is a sad Easter for me. I am afraid to go to church, since a couple of cases of my previous attendance have been far from welcoming. At one church, one woman remarked to another that I basically had a lot of nerve going cross-dressed to of all things, a Sunday service. At another, I was harassed by a relative. Another church which relatives attend that do not want their children to see me since it raises issues that they say they are too young to deal with, also seems out of the question though it is a very liberal church and otherwise apparently welcoming.
But I did go to an Ecumenical Good Friday service. That went well, though I was nervous and on my guard. No one paid any attention to me, from what I could judge.
How have others just entering transition as I am, found church going?

[Julieanne]

That is not only sad Beth-Lock but just so wrong. A church I attend periodically has transitioning/transitioned members who are fully integrated into the church family.

[Lorileah]

Speaking from a Christian aspect (which is what Easter is all about) there should be no judgement made by true Christian people. The gospel says that only one can judge and it isn't the parishioners and it isn't the person on the pulpit.

People whom you describe are not what the church is or should be about. It is unfortunate that you had this experience. But there is good news. First there are so many churches who will welcome you and make you feel like you belong. You just have to fond them. Second, no matter who you are or what you do, you are who you are and in the Christian tenants you are loved.

Take this from a person who translates the "gospel" in a different manner than most of the so called Christians. I know I'll get slammed for this but Ghandi said "I like your Christ, I do not like your Christians." It is unfortunate that so many claim to be followers but are not.

I hope you find peace and love in this season, no matter if you are Christian, Jewish, or Muslim. This season is supposed to be the holiest of all.

[deja true]

"Why don't you go to church?" ask all my church going friends.

"Because it makes me very sad to have to sit among all those hypocrites for two hours on a Sunday morning, when I could be outside looking at all of god's wonders."

Granted not all church people are hypocrites, but there sure are a lot of them around here!

You'll find a church that truly is a place for all of god's children, if that's what you need.

[JoannaCaroline]

I really don't want to upset you but what did you expect?

I quit going to church long before I came out as TG. I would never consider going back to a Christian church now though. All but one I have ever been too are way too bigoted and preach hate and discrimination against a mulititude of people but specifically against homosexuals and by association, us! Now before I get crucified for saying that let me say that I have been tot he following:

Presbyterian USA
Presbyterian of America
Southern Baptist
Methodist
Catoholic
Multiple independent
American Baptist. This is actually the only one I would voluntarily return to. Their preacher used to be a woman. Most of the choir are gay men and they ocassionally let drag queens host bingo.

[Nicole Erin]

Unitarian and MCC churches are probably the best bet.

MCC is of course the GLBT church.

The only things they do not tolerate at a Unitarian church are bigotry and prejudice. We are all human

[GaleWarning]

I really don't want to upset you but what did you expect?

I quit going to church long before I came out as TG. I would never consider going back to a Christian church now though. All but one I have ever been too are way too bigoted and preach hate and discrimination against a mulititude of people but specifically against homosexuals and by association, us! Now before I get crucified for saying that let me say that I have been tot he following:

Presbyterian USA
Presbyterian of America
Southern Baptist
Methodist
Catoholic
Multiple independent
American Baptist. This is actually the only one I would voluntarily return to. Their preacher used to be a woman. Most of the choir are gay men and they ocassionally let drag queens host bingo.

You need to visit an Episcopal church near you, JC (:)).
Especially one which is at the forefront of trying to get the world wide Anglican communion to accept that Christ was not homophobic.
You might find another JC there.
I know He will be happy to meet you.

[DeeInGeorgia]

The one I go to is full of LGBTs, including a couple of TGs.

Deanna

[kellycan27]

I am a Catholic, and attend chuch every Sunday. I was raised in the Catholic church,and I do have issues with some of the beliefs and rituals. My deal with God is.... I will attend mass, I will try and live my life in a christian way,and I will put my faith in you, but i am not too sure of the guys who work for you, or some of your other followers.

[JoannaCaroline]

You need to visit an Episcopal church near you, JC (:)).
Especially one which is at the forefront of trying to get the world wide Anglican communion to accept that Christ was not homophobic.
You might find another JC there.
I know He will be happy to meet you.

Clayfish, I really really don't need or want to. I went to an American Baptist church a few times to watch someone sing. The preacher was a woman, the choir almost entirely gay men and they let Drag queens host bingo. Overall a very nice non-judgmental group of folks. I still don't want to go back

I'm very happily married to a woman who has known all of my eccentricities since the day she met me. She is an ex-mormon (her term not mine) She despises organized religion more than I do and that is saying something. I went to church until a month after my 18th birthday, several years before I came to grips with my transgenderism so that was never an issue. That was 20 years ago and I haven't seen a reason to go back.

The funny part is that if I chose to go back to church, I would probably end up in the same boat as everyone in this forum who has a spouse that is unaccepting of TGism. My wife would be very unaccepting of me being in an organized religion. It's a good thing I have no intention of that ever happening.

[MJ]

try to find accepting united church one thats affirming. there are very welcoming .

[boardpuppy]

Hello Beth,
Let me get on my soap box and preach a short sermon, if this offends please stop here.

This earth was made by God, you can have church with an attendance of one under a big shaded tree or confines of four walls. You see how many sects of christianity there are in the world but in reality there is only one church. Man has his interpatation (SP)/or sect but only Jesus can judge. Except/Confess Christ, this is a one-on-one deal, not between a lot of people who are straight laced, stick in the muds. If you still don't understand, PM me.

Hugs,
Alice

[GaleWarning]

My SO has started to go to church again after a lapse of more than several years. JC, I have no problem with your reluctance to return; you will, when you are ready. Just remember that faith, hope and love are everlasting.
Blessings.


PS - It is also helpful to recall that it is PEOPLE who make the church, not the organisation. Don't rail against the organisation, you can do nothing to change it. People, however, can undergo change. Go where the people are warm and accepting.

[Beth-Lock]

It was St. Paul, not Jesus who spoke against what some people interpret as homosexuality and others as effeminacy implying apparently homosexuality, and this may be the justification by some fundamentalists of the linking of transgendered behaviour by males to sin and homosexuality. (Strangely, lesbianism gets a free pass, some have noted.)
But still it was St. Paul, not Jesus. (Jesus was the one who said divorce was always a bad thing, remember? Most in the church today seem to have forgotten that one!)
I guess our churches are interpreting the Bible in a way that suits their modern prejudices, doesn't it seem so? For some reason, likely that transgendered behavior is a lot less common than divorce, it gets singled out instead of divorce. I guess it is human to want to crack down on those doing something that one is not likely oneself to do and be otherwise lenient. Another factor istht people honestly believe that dressing outside one's genetic gender, is funny and mocking, and diminishes the dignity of a church service. That is a more deep-rooted psychological thing than one can hope to deal with. It requires a progressive raising of consciousness in society of the transgendered and their situation.
That being said, do you go where you will be treated badly, even marginally, or ignore it? I am unhappy to have to change my church-going habits at this stage.

[GaleWarning]

That being said, do you go where you will be treated badly, even marginally, or ignore it? I am unhappy to have to change my church-going habits at this stage.

If you are truly serious about finding your comfort zone in a church, then a little risk-taking is essential.
It will be worth it!

Jesus' views were fully inclusive. Is John 3:16 not the most fully inclusive welcoming statement?

My vicar once said to me, "Clayfish, our job is to invite people into a church. God's job is to speak to their hearts."

We should be fully accepting, at least at the outset.

[shesadvl]

My SO has started to go to church again after a lapse of more than several years. JC, I have no problem with your reluctance to return; you will, when you are ready. Just remember that faith, hope and love are everlasting.
Blessings.


PS - It is also helpful to recall that it is PEOPLE who make the church, not the organisation. Don't rail against the organisation, you can do nothing to change it. People, however, can undergo change. Go where the people are warm and accepting.

I am clayfish's partner Yes I have started attending church with him.. I am a catholic born into and bought up in, I am a tradionalist, but then attending with clayfish,(as he attends the anglican church).. is to make sure he gives thanx for having good friends and me laffing:tongueout ,
I used to be a PA to a catholic priest for many years we talked on many occassions about the people and how they come and go from churches over time, but not to say we are not christians or non religious, but we do go back no matter where it be and when, there is no harm in finding where we are comfortable in gods house... (even though it is man made):tongueout:devil:

even the wide open spaces are considered to be in gods house depends on how you walk with him...laffing...

[Chibi~Cthulhu]

the hate speech and all coming from the catholic church in my teen years was what caused me to become a budhist, and i must say it works for me...

the key to religion is that it has to fit you. if your religious community near you cant or wont accept you? move on find one that will or make a personal peace with your creator or who/whatever.

i think that the majority of people are generally good, and if they could just seperate their feelings from the rational part of their mind they would be able to accept us no matter the brainwashing they had imposed on them by family / society early in their own lives

anyways ill stop there before i stick my foot in my mouth

[Kaylee 85]

How very odd, I'm quite sure that there's a rule somewhere that states "Thou shalt not judge, lest ye be judged in the kingdom of heaven." I don't think god cares what you're wearing to church, especially as you are being true to yourself. I say good for you for going to church! I wish I would see more churches practicing what they preach about open mindedness, but I'm quite sure they won't lynch you so if they point fingers hold your head up high and smile, because after all YOU aren't breaking any commandments.

[Joy Carter]

My deal with God is.... I will attend mass, I will try and live my life in a christian way,and I will put my faith in you, but i am not too sure of the guys who work for you, or some of your other followers.


Very nicely put Kelly. I see we are in agreement. :thumbsup:

[Beth-Lock]

I did end up going to the Good Friday service, so things were not so bad after all. I was a little nervous, but things went smoothly and I did not get outed by anyone I know. I was just anoher face in the crowd.