Would you still want to be a woman?

[TGMarla]

I hear it all the time around here. Many say that they'd just love to live their lives over again as a woman. But they don't get into any qualifications or specifics. They say, "I love lacy slips and pretty dresses, so I must really be a woman in my brain!!!" They have an affectation for the peripherals without really thinking about it.

Remember the legend of the monkey's paw? Be careful what you wish for, as you just might get it. So you want to be a woman, but you didn't say what woman, when, and where. We're all assuming that you'd do it all over again right here and right now. But what if that was not the case?

What if there were not pretty dresses, or lacy slips? No pantyhose and high heels? No lovely hair and fingernails? What if you had to live in Afghanistan? Or some little dirt-poor tribe in Africa or New Guinea? What if you had to live in 1670 in a Puritan colony where your daily life was full of labor and hard work, where you had no say in what happened in your life? What if it meant second-class citizenship with a husband that lorded over you?

Maybe it really is more the lace and the hosiery, the cute little skirts and the makeup. Maybe we aren't so much female in our brains, as we are just simply attracted to all the female trappings. Maybe some of us simply want to be girls so that we can play with all the girl toys, the clothes, the nails, the hair, the perfume, and the jewelry.

Think about it. Being a woman was never EVER so good as it is in Western Civilization today. Go back even a few decades, and the benefit drops off sharply. And even today, if you don't live in a developed nation in Europe or North America (and a few selected others), being a chick ain't such a great thing. So.....do you still want to be a woman? Any woman? Or do you just like all the trappings?

[curse within]

No never really wanted to be one to start, maybe when I was very little but that has long since past...

But as I have always said it's really not the clothing for some, Its the atrraction. I am sure that some Men in these poor dirt tribes in Africa or New Guinea , have desires in their own customs or enviorment just as we do in more developed countries.

Maybe they poke bones through their noses in a way that is only done by women in their culture. I was watching a program called Taboo where in India a young male had his parts removed to live a female, they have none of the customs or clothing as we do . He then joined the others who have done the same and dressed as the culture of that part of the world is known for in a female manner. Covered the face long ugly looking dress thing and no shoes and added that mole they are famous for having.

[kristinacd55]

You know what it is Marla just as you put it, the PERCEPTION & fantasy of being a woman. Being a real woman means all the hardship & 2nd class citizenship that goes along with it. Let's face it, being a woman is no piece of cake!

[Joan Merrie]

Yes I would. But after all my mind is female, and hopefully, soon my body will be as well.:hugs:

[Leasa Wells]

If i was a women, I would of course like pretty things. Pretty things come in different ways, a nice home, taking care of the family. Knowing at time to be tender and caring to the ones you love. If i had to wear a black robe in a third world country i could do that as long as i was a women. You see its not what i am on the outside its what i am in the inside. God made me this way and God love me so much he is not going to change a thing.

[docrobbysherry]

You know what it is Marla just as you put it, the PERCEPTION & fantasy of being a woman. Being a real woman means all the hardship & 2nd class citizenship that goes along with it. Let's face it, being a woman is no piece of cake!

Yes, Kristina, I know for me, it's ALL ABOUT the FANTASY, of appearing female!:D

Would I want to have been born a woman WITH my current body and face?:doh: NOT a chance in H---!

If, as a woman, I looked more like Rosie O'Donell, than Charlize? I'M STAYIN' a CD guy!:brolleyes:

[Cary]

Good question.

As I've said before, I have no desire to be a woman. I have alot of respect for what they've been through as a gender. I don't think I would be able to work in a sweat shop or farm wearing a huge dress over uncomfortable undies. I wouldn't wish PMS or labor pains on anybody. I just love wearing the clothes of the 21st century woman in the western world.

[trannie T]

I love lacy slips and pretty dresses. I have no desire to actually become a woman as I love my male parts too. Women in western societies have made tremendous progress in the past few decades but still have a long way to go to become true equals to males. That is why I support equal rights for all, including men, women, transgendered people, straights, gays, lesbians, ethnic minorities and members of all religious groups.

[kristinacd55]

Yes, Kristina, I know for me, it's ALL ABOUT the FANTASY, of appearing female!:D

Would I want to have been born a woman WITH my current body and face?:doh: NOT a chance in H---!

If, as a woman, I looked more like Rosie O'Donell, than Charlize? I'M STAYIN' a CD guy!:brolleyes:

& docrobbysherry for me it's all fantasy too! Because with the MAN body I'm in I'll never be the voluptous beautiful girl I imagine myself to be. But that's what being a cd is all about isn't it? :hugs:

[Angie G]

Good post Marla it makes one think.Would I really want it.:hugs:
Angie

[kristinacd55]

Good post Marla it makes one think.Would I really want it.:hugs:
Angie

Marla not only looks good in all her outfits, she also has a brain to think with! :)

[TGMarla]

Yes I would. But after all my mind is female, and hopefully, soon my body will be as well.
Fair enough. And for some, maybe even many, that is still the answer. But the rest of us really might take a second look. I guess that's what the RLT is all about. It's easy to talk the talk, but it's not quite so easy to walk the walk, especially in high heels.

[Jonianne]

Women have found a way to survive and thrive in whatever setting they were put in. Historical writings are full of the courage and beauty they have posessed through out the ages as well as the pain and suffering. It's the heart of a woman that is attractive to me, far more than the externals.

[Zenith]

I don't want to be a woman. I am a woman. I have to deal with it. That's GID.

Take away the frilly stuff...pantyhose...etc...(actually you can take it...on a daily basis it is a lot of trouble)...OK...it's more a means to present female than anything else...can be fun in small doses and putting together outfits...but it's just clothes...I probably have a normal GG level of enthusiasm...

Female sex drive? Yes have that...but not gay...never have had sex as a man with a man...and knew I was a girl at ~4-5 long before any sexual feelings developed...

Wanted to do girl things...Ballet...couldn't...felt I shouldn't...

Always been sensitive to others feelings...hugs...talking...give little gifts...but a male can't do that right? Used to be a highly in demand babysitter...loved taking care of kids...loved cooking...good at interior design...suppressed it all...

Things just continue to add up ...

[Karren H]

No way!! Never!!! I'd rather have all the benifits of being a girl (the pretty ones) and none of the problems... (low pay... glass ceilings.... geting pregnant.... etc....)

[Zenith]

No way!! Never!!! I'd rather have all the benifits of being a girl (the pretty ones) and none of the problems... (low pay... glass ceilings.... geting pregnant.... etc....)

Lucky you...:D...we all know women have it tougher in most every way...doesn't matter...can't pretend to be what you aren't...

[AmandaM]

If I could be a woman, I wouldn't need the clothes.

[SuzanneS]

I guess I might have a different answer if it ever really came down to it, but in my life, the girls always seemed to be taken care of alot more, been cherished, been idolized by so many, and been loved more and not looked at like a 'thing' that could just be used(not in a sexual way) for labor.
Although the girls that I have known seemed to have an easier life than mine(maybe they don't) I would still love to be the girl that everyone admires and takes care of and stands up for.
In my life, yes, I would absolutely love to be a girl...Girls in my area have always been taken care of and cherished it seemed and they were still helped out if they were expected to work. I guess I don't really know how to fully explain it, but I would just love to be treated like I would treat a woman. My family taught me how to repspect and treat a woman and that's how I would like to be treated, because as a male, I didn't get any special treatment or respect it seemed....no matter how well I treated any woman....and I do treat them very well, with utmost respect.

Just my honest opinion, whether I explained it as well as I could have or not.

Suzanne

[kathtx]

If I could be a woman, I wouldn't need the clothes.

Bingo.

Pretty clothes are wonderful, but they ain't what it's about. For me, it's about relating to women as a woman, socially and romantically (I pretty much ignore men altogether socially, and certainly ignore them romantically). So regardless of time and place, I'd choose female.

Were I dropped into Puritan New England, say, and given the choice of being male or female, sure, it would be *easier* and *safer* to be a male, but it would still not be *me*. Indeed, I'd detest the male social role then then even more than I do now. In a society where women are oppressed, why on earth would I choose to be one of the oppressors?
It's like asking: if dropped into a gulag, would you rather be a guard or a prisoner? Neither choice is good, but which choice would let you live with integrity? So I'd choose female, realizing that depending on time and place I would probably live life as a spinster, get burned as a witch, or sent to a convent.

That being said, I'm certainly glad to live in the 21st century western world (mid 20th century, perhaps, since I'm in Texas) rather than Afghanistan or Puritan New England.

[RWillow]

Yes, most definitly, and I have felt this way all my life. Everything Zenith said and more and I wouldn't care where or when in history, I would want to be female.

Renyta

[KateSpade83]

If I had to do it all over again I'd definitely want to be a PRETTY AMERICAN WOMAN! On a HOTNESS scale or 8 and above! Or else I'd rather stay my guy self... Never mind pregnancies and periods! I want it ALL!

[Rachel Morley]

I hear what you're saying, and I do take your point. For what we know about life in an affluent and free country such as ours compared to others, we do have it good ... no doubt about it, and that's regardless if you are a man or a woman.

However, I can only answer your question based upon my knowledge and my experience of "my world" and my lifetime experiences, and so based upon my reflections, upon my life so far, yes, if I could have my time again, and if I was sure I was never going to ever meet my wife like I did, then I do wish I had been born a girl. I do wish I would have become a woman .... BUT .... I would not change my life today. I love being me, mostly because of my married life. I would not trade even being a woman for not being married to Marla.

[linnea]

You make some very good points, Marla. Usually when people say that they would like to be someone else or to live in another time period, they really mean that they would like it IF THEY COULD DO SO AND KNOW WHAT THEY KNOW NOW. They want that (or often assume it) not so much as a way to alter the "future" but because without that knowledge or memory, they would literally have a different life without really realizing the difference.
That's true for your examples too: If I were a woman member of the Plimmoth Bay Colony in 1620, I would have a hard life--by today's standards--, but hard as it was, I wouldn't have the better Western, industrialized nation outlook on it.
If I could be a woman in 1620 knowing what I know now, I would probably be very unhappy with the trials and tribulations of life in general and life specifically for females. It would be even worse to be an Afghan woman or a woman in Somali or any number of other places.
However, I think that one of the most salient points that you made is the one about "the whole package" (though you don't discuss it very much): that is that beyond the make-up, the hair, the lovely clothes, etc., there are many other qualities of being a woman. Some of them, like mensturation, are physical; add hormonal activity that differs greatly from the type men experience. Then you have the socially constructed roles. Being a woman means that you would have to deal with those, many of which are repressive and demeaning. Of course, women can and do resist these and deconstruct them, but they often have to fight prejudice and other negative attitudes to do so.
It definitely is more than the accoutrements to be a woman. Nonetheless, I would like the experience (only if I could continue to know what I know now).

[Lisa Golightly]

The fringe benefits have nothing to do with it for me... If becoming female meant I had to work in the salt mines for the rest of my life I'd still do it... The mind rattling around this wreck of a body doesn't know how to be a man... As it is I'm looking at a total bill of $58,000 to do everything I need to do and feel normal in my current existance... That's 58,000 reasons not to bother for many, but to me it's 58,000 problems to clear before finally I get off a road to nowhere and take the road to somewhere.

I often envy CD's... I really do.

[Carole Cross]

It's not about the clothes, it's about the way I feel inside. I have tried to live as a man for 40 years and have nothing to show from it because I do not think the way that men do. I have tried to supress all my feminie feelings and emotions to try and fit in but it omly made me more unhappy. I am now starting my transition which will be a huge sacrifice in terms of job security and finance. :sad:
I can't really afforg to pay for what I need to complete my transition, but then I can't really afford, mentally, to continue living a lie. If I do, I will probably end up killing myself.

[Persephone]

Think about it. Being a woman was never EVER so good as it is in Western Civilization today. Go back even a few decades, and the benefit drops off sharply. And even today, if you don't live in a developed nation in Europe or North America (and a few selected others), being a chick ain't such a great thing. So.....do you still want to be a woman? Any woman? Or do you just like all the trappings?



You've certainly raised some very interesting points, Marla, but I disagree with nearly all of them.

First of all, when you look at other parts of the world or other times, you are conveniently overlooking the negative conditions that everyone experienced/experiences in those situations.

For example, it wasn't until 1915 that the practice of having "unfree labor" on ships was banned, even in the United States. Young men were often "Shanghaied" onto ships of various nations, forced into involuntary servitude under truly horrible conditions.

The same was true of the "recruitment" techniques of the military entities of many nations. One morning you were a 12-year old boy sleeping peacefully in your parent's home, and moments later you were dragged away, never to see your family or your village again. In the case of Tzarist Russia, you could be conscripted for up to 50 years of service.

It still goes on today. Armed Palestinians Siezing Children as "Human Shields" (click here) (http://www.jihadwatch.org/archives/024270.php)

Endless stories from endless places around the world. So which would you trade your male identity for?

So, while there is definitely female suffering and female slavery around the world (particularly in portions of Africa and in countries ruled by Muslim "Sharia Law"), there is obviously also male imprisionment, slavery, and torture.

Somehow we've bought into the "don't women suffer cruely in this world - everything from PMS to putting up with men" syndrome.

What about the amazing, bright side of being a woman? How come that wasn't mentioned in almost any of the messages in this thread? Women are the ones who experience the incredible creation of life. What's being a guy compared to that? Face it, guys, you're second rate.

So, would you rather be a woman in the horrible Triangle Shirtwaist Factory fire? Or would you rather be a soldier tortured in a cage in Vietnam, beaten into a bloody mess every day?

Pretty questionable basis for a discussion, isn't it?


Women have found a way to survive and thrive in whatever setting they were put in. Historical writings are full of the courage and beauty they have posessed through out the ages as well as the pain and suffering. It's the heart of a woman that is attractive to me, far more than the externals.

:iagree: Priceless!

[Shikyo]

Without even a second of hesitation, I'd do it. To me it's not the clothes or the society but the feeling inside my own body. The body might be physically male, but I don't feel like I really belong to this body.

I do like the feminine cloths as well; however they are not he main point of my interest at all. No matter where in the world I would be willing to live off as a women, if I would have given the possibility to be born as a women. This feeling is something I cannot escape no matter how hard I try, it is a big part of me; the true me to be honest.

[sometimes_miss]

See, Carole, I have the opposite problem. I think very much like a male, but feel very much female. You know, this is where TS folks understand waaaaay better than the average CD'er. For a lot of us, it's not about wanting to be female because of the 'benefits' of it. Or the clothes. Or the nice things, or the bad things. It's about how you feel you self identify.

Ask any woman if she wishes she could become a man with her same personality. Most likely, not; they've spend a lifetime developing ways to deal with all the things that being female entails, as well as having the sexual orientation of a straight female, and, of course, feeling that she is a female. Becoming a homosexual male probably isn't what she would have in mind, and being a heterosexual male would also be out of the question. Yes it might be interesting for a day, but I don't think you'd get many takers if the option to become a guy were available. Never any chance to be a mom, never any chance to have kids, no, few women would want that life, even with all the so called benefits it might have (oh, did I forget to mention the wonderful benefit of being drafted and being sent off to war? Wonderful male benefit, that, something every guy who was drafted was so happy to have; just ask any of the crippled guys in a VA hospitals how wonderful they feel about that 'male priviledge' of getting to be shot at).

Sure, we all see the grass greener on the other side of the fence. But it's not. Men have problems in our lives, women have problems in theirs; and interestingly, becoming the opposite sex can solve some of the problems we face in our current sex. But we rarely think about the new sets of problems that we will face, and all the inconveniences that accompany that sex as well. When we envy the other's lives, we usually only think of the good side, not the bad.

Me, since mid childhood, I've always kind of felt like I'm a girl. A friggin' 13 year old girl. I've felt that way since, well, about age 13. That part of me never had a chance to develop into anything, because none of the experiences were there to go with it. So, it's 'frozen in time'.

But everything else about me is boy. But, because of the conflicts growing up, that side of my personality never developed right either. Sure, I've learned to 'act' like an adult male; but that's all it is, an act. I suppose that yes, if I could go back and start at that age, I would very probably take the option of being female for the rest of my life, without knowing anything more than what I knew then, as long as I could be at least a somewhat average looking female; at least the body would match what I felt that I was, even if lots of other things about my mind weren't quite 'female'. But I've already experienced life being quite an unattractive male; I have no desire to go back and experience being an unattractive female as well.

[pink femme]

I suppose it is so easy to say......but for me...better a woman in 1670 than a man now.

One just knows what one should be.

[Greymancd]

I still do not understand myself fully but I am a guy and would not change that. This guy though has a unrelenting desire to experience feminine traits that has been with me all my life. I believe that dressing the part of a women allows this side to be fulfilled. This is about as much as I know. I do not want to become a woman and give up my manhood but I do feel it is alright to act, dress and live feminine to what ever extent I need too.

[Joanne f]

Yes i would , the clothes just help me try and express what is burning inside of me so i would swop the clothes for the real thing and live in drab for the rest of my life just to be me .

[Senban]

Interesting thread and so far no one has even raised the question of what colour panties they're wearing! :heehee:

One of my favourite sayings is "Don't confuse the trappings with the philosophy" and it seems to fit here with a bit of adjustment.

There's nothing wrong with roleplaying as a woman, of playing dress-up-let's-pretend. Nothing wrong with it at all and that's fine for those who get something from that :)

That's not me though. I wear the same everyday stuff that a million other girls wear every day. Put me in "male" clothes and oddly enough I walk the same, my body language is the same, I remain predominantly female with a few male aspects, attributes and characteristics.

I think a lot of the people I speak to here and elsewhere are not in this position. What they are actually doing is creating in themselves this idealised version of their fantasy women. Like I say, there's no problem with that and good luck to them :) But I do think that many people think they must be TS simply because they like the trappings. It's also true that the trappings that many consider "female" are actually not "everyday female" and they really are just acting out fantasies rather than expressing what's genuinely inside them.

I hope that doesn't come across as if I'm having a go at such people because I'm not intending to.

As for the original question, absolutely yes. For me it's not about enjoying the better trappings of women in western civilisation or of occasionally getting together with others to play "girl's night". It's about trying to allow what's inside to be expressed in the real world every day so that I can be me 100% :battingeyelashes:

[Sammy777]

What if there were not pretty dresses, or lacy slips? No pantyhose and high heels? No lovely hair and fingernails? What if you had to live in Afghanistan? Or some little dirt-poor tribe in Africa or New Guinea? What if you had to live in 1670 in a Puritan colony where your daily life was full of labor and hard work, where you had no say in what happened in your life? What if it meant second-class citizenship with a husband that lorded over you?

Well if you knew nothing of modern trappings you wouldn't want them, now would you? It would not change how someone felt. No one longed for color TV's in 1670 either.

I think that most any GG's, GM's, Us here, ect. of today living in modern western cultures would not want to live in any of the places/times you described either knowing what they know now.
Am I wrong?

[Kate Simmons]

It's not all "peaches and cream" being a woman Marla but being one can hold it's own reward for the right person. I'm thinking a life more like in "The Sarah Conner Chronicles" myself but that would work out okay for me since I'm "rough and tumble" to begin with. Life is basically what we make it regardless of genetics anyway and men and women have the ability to be both. While we may admire women and the idea of being one, it takes a very special person to do just that and that is something that actually has to be experienced to really be appreciated.:)

[Hali]

If my society will allow it i will just look like an Egyptian king with some slight variation; plenty of eye make-up, long hair, waist band, arm bracelets, henna on toe nails and finger nails, dyed hair........and no hair on my body.
After mensioning the looks i prefer there is an additional feature i will have which is to be swooshing my legs as i walk (having the girly walk of course) then to have a slim waist.....i think that will make me a female inpersonator/CD/transvestite or what ever.

In a nut shell am not interested to be a woman for the fashion only no! I see myself as pretty not handsome, not strong but resilient, not modest in dressing but elegant and flamboyant. Am not good looking but beautiful thats how i see myself.

Am always close to tears but hardly cry cos men dont cry.

I dont mind having saggy breasts or the menstral cycle, as i hang with a GG i realise that women dont see men as being superior but rather see men as more spontaneous and prone to exposing themselves to dangers....................... i think i become smarter in my survival instincts thats why i choose to be a woman to let the men face the dangers cos they want to.

Let men chase women and get the bashing, let them fight over the earth resources and give to us "weak men/sissies/CDs/trannies" and women.

i think its their choice thats what women say to men when they see men toil to satisfy a woman.

[Rachaelb64]

Ok, my parallel life as woman.........

So I was born in '64 into a working class British family, went to school in the '70s, so no high expections for me as a girl, would of helped my mother around the house.

'81 about to leave school Career options; office work, shop work, nursing, light factory work or housewife this is the late '70s early '80s even university would have been limited option.

So I train as a nurse, having given up my dreams of being an actress or dancer. Then at some point I would been expected to marry have kids, maybe work part-time.........

So its 2009, kids have grown ups, one is working, one is just about to go to university, I've kicked that lazy, macho, sob of an ex-husband out, just dead weight.

So I'm 44, still a nurse and I'm starting to enjoy my life again :)

Realistic view?

Rach :)

[Charlena]

I used to think it would be nice to be a woman. my dear wife at age 44 has had serious trouble with periods, two benign breast tumors removed, and now is facing rectual and vaginal prolapse surguries probadly based on damage with giving birth to our two beautiful children, exploitation and abuse since a very young age. I am glad I am a man that stands by her through all of this with great love and admiration for her great strenght. I do not know if I could be as strong facing such odds. Plus she is so supportive of me and who I am. She allows me to be me, I love her dearly. A beautiful person.

[Rachaelb64]

Btw I dont think I would have made it to 1670, as Male I'd probably been killed during the English Civil War, fighting for Parliment against a Tyrant King!

As a English woman in 1670, upper class woman please, life as a working class woman in 1670 England would a been very hard................

[lynnmcarthur]

I am willing to accept it all, both the positive and the negative. My CD life is not all lace and makeup but really trying to be a much a woman in the way I work, my home life and in many ofthe things I do. My role models are the working class women of the fifties who really had second class citizenship of sorts but found ways to support eachother in ways that men really didn't support eachother. I decided at age 4 that it would be better to be a girl and really haven't changed much.

[LisaM]

I agree with Lisa Golightlty -- I often envy CD's... I really do.

It has never been about dressing for me. It is about being me. Until recently I haven't dressed in over 10 years and yet I always felt that I was TS. I would still want to be a woman.

But the historical perspective that Marla brings up is very interesting and really makes you think---but it only makes you realize how far woman have come and how much further they need to go in certain societies.

[MJ]

the perseption is that i'm a guy trying to be a woman. as long as i was born in the right body i don't care where.

[Patricia1]

Provocative stuff this. Here's the deal the way I see it. We are who we are so imagining being in some other time & place in a gender we've never fully experienced has no rational basis for comparison. CDer's are very brave people indeed to actively want to be seen as women since, despite any & all advances in gender justice, woman are still struggling to find true equality in western society. Don't even talk about the "rest" of the world as far as women are concerned. Barring an advance in the human genome, men will always rule the roost and only allow unimportant advances for women. Cder's, as men, know how women struggle for the things we take for granted, yet we still yearn for that status. Given this, we are indeed brave but filled also with some sort of divine madness, a pursuit of an ideal over which we have no control. We are victims in very much the same sense as women, with very few of the perks. No wonder we hide. TS women are luckier in a sense since they at least have their convictions while CDer's mostly believe in mirages. So, no, I wouldn't want to be a woman at any time. Now is tough enough.

[trisha59]

For me it is all about the lace and the hosiery, the cute little skirts and the makeup. I have no desire to be a women in any era. So I will just go to the other side of the room. Man this side is really lonely.:sad:

[Lorileah]

There were times when being a real female was a foremost thought. I could even do the different era thing as long as I could choose the era (I would not want to live in a cave). At those times I even justified the "bad" things about being a woman like hormones and being subjugated. Now not so much. I just want to be comfortable. Ok so that is a canned female response ;)

[KimberlyJo]

This sounds more like a TG (TS) question than a CD question to me. As a CDer I can't say that I would really want to be a woman. Had I been born a woman my life would be so very different and I wouldn't trade what I have now for that. For me crossdressing is a way to express a side of my personality that society says isn't ok for me to even feel let alone show. It calms and relaxes me and makes me feel more like a whole person. Women have had their sexual revolution, now it's time for men to have theirs. VIVA LA REVOLUTION!! :2c:

[JulieC]

So.....do you still want to be a woman? Any woman? Or do you just like all the trappings?

It's not that I want to be a woman. I have femme aspects to me. The trappings of femininity are the expression of those aspects, not the aspects themselves.

[Anna the Dub]

I couldn't care less about the trappings. I very rarely get all dressed up, and even then I don't really wear skirts or dresses all that much. Female clothes to me are just a tool to present to the world the way I feel inside. If clothes didn't exist and everyone in the world just went around nude, I would still want SRS. So for me, yes, to be a natural GG would be a wish come true, in any era (I would prefer modern day though, who wouldn't?)

[Karen564]

This was a good question to ask because there are many here that say it, but have they really, really thought it out so deeply as to what their saying...

Are they really looking at the whole picture, or just selectively looking at only the good aspects leaving out the not so good parts... Are they really ready to live having to deal with a period..?? or carry a child for 9 months and then push it out, leaving stretch marks after, go through PMS, or have a guy's drippings come out for a day or more..or take care of their man in every way, cook him all his meals, clean his dirty underwear & socks, change the babies diapers and so on, and so on...is that what they really want???

I would think that if someone who was strictly a CD'er and you took away the frilly clothes, then they may not have the same desire to CD anymore..because there would be no point to it really, it would take to much of the thrill away..

But as a MTF Transsexual such as myself & many others that have responded here with GID, it shouldn't matter what we wear, it doesn't in my case anyway...I was born with a woman's brain so to speak, so it doesn't matter what clothes I'm wearing is, but dont get me wrong, I do love woman's clothes & all the trappings because it does help sort out the two different genders in a way on the outside, but what really matters to me more than anything is to feel compete with the correct body, as a whole person, just as any normal women is born with the body & mind matching without any conflict within themselves..
I would of loved to be able to carry in my body & give birth to children, but sadly no matter what, I never will..So that is one Huge void in my life that I can never fill, and will have to live with that for the rest of my life until I die..

I dont know how I would feel if I was born with a mans brain, but to be honest, I truly wish I was, since I was born with a mans body, I would think I would be happier that way, but I dont really know that for a fact...because it didn't happen that way..

So what I'm trying to say is, I wouldn't wish my GID issues on any human being..it's no picnic..that's for sure..
Just as I'm sure there are many CD'ers that wish they had no desires to dress as the opposite sex but what goes on in there heads when they do, I'll never really know, but I can totally understand why some men want to be perceived as women, because we all know women are far more superior than men in every way...except for doing the heavy & dirty work, we'll leave that for the guys since we know you guy's do that so well....:D

[AmandaM]

On the flip side, I wouldn't want to be a man in Afghanistan either.

[Kate Lynn]

I've never wanted to be a woman or emulate one,I just like their clothes and shoes,thats why I wear them.

[LA CINDY LOVE]

If I had to get dress every day as a woman I would go crazy, it take to much work to get dress just on the weekends when I go out.

I LOVE WHO I AM.........A MAN

LA CINDY LOVE

[Nicole Erin]

Oh boy, another "You are not truely TS" message. :brolleyes:

This is silly, asking "would you still want to be a woman in some place and time when women were used as [something terrible]

ummm, NO! :brolleyes: I would not even want to be alive during such times.

People sit there and argue over what a real TS is often.
As soon as someone thinks they have a definite answer, put out the test and it will be the be all end all test for separating the TS from the CD.

So assuming we are talking about modern day developed countries and not 1427 Zangolia, yes I would rather be woman. It is not like I would be sacraficing some huge estate or a good job anyways.

[TGMarla]

See? Now that's what I'm talking about. I was hoping that such a subject would bring out an entire spectrum of answers, if we are honest about things. Transexual women should always answer that they'd take being female at any time, anywhere, no matter what. Crossdressers are in it for the toys. Me? I'm somewhere in between. I admit two things: First, I'd really like being a woman. That said, I still find the cute girly clothing to be a big part of the attraction about that. So I'm not truly transexual, and I will not pursue a gender change. I'd like to be a woman, but not enough to put myself through what would be necessary to make that happen. And I think that some of the pink foggers around here let that fog cloud the truth of the whole thing for them. A lot of you say you'd rather be a woman, and many of you are very sure in that conviction. There are some, though, who when faced with the actuality of it, should admit that it's more about the clothes and the feminine quality of it all than it is about actually being female.

To those of you who really are women on the inside, have strength, my dears. I empathize, and I'm rooting for you. To the rest of you (us), I hope you continue to enjoy crossdressing as much as I do. :D

Oh, and I never really intended for this to be a referrendum on what constitutes a real transexual, and what separates them from "mere" crossdressers. I just thought it would be fun to think and talk about.

[kellycan27]

Yes, because it would still be better than being a man... for me anyway. Don't get the wrong idea, I am not a man hater.. I love men, just don't want to be one.

[JenniferInUtah]

I think I am Happy as a crossdresser. However sometimes these feelings are often to strong to ignore and if i could have been a girl from birth then yes i would have to say i wish i could be a girl

[PretzelGirl]

It is a tough call. I would like to have experienced being a young lady and all of the things you do through adulthood. There is a lot that many of us would dream to do. The tradeoff is that I wouldn't have had my family, my wife, my kids, and my experiences. Those are all wonderful things that I would never give up. So short of the Sci-Fi "can I take a pill and experience this and come Monday I will be back", the answer is a definite no.

I am me and why change that!:thumbsup:

[natasha]

I have thought about exactly that many times; being a woman in a different time than now or not being able to have my frilly things. I think the answer would be the same, yes. I've never fully related to being manly, though have done my best to act it to survive but have never felt it was me.

[Marjory]

I really like being a guy who likes to wear women's clothes. I've thought about the whole sex change thing, but have rejected it in my mind. I like being a guy.

[Lorna]

This forum is about crossDRESSing and that's my interest. I don't want to become a woman or even to pretend to be one, I just enjoy the clothes. That said, it is a source of frustration that my body shape and size make it hard for me to wear and enjoy clothes as a real woman would: in that sense, yes, I would love to be able to "become" a woman in physical terms just so I could really find out how all those wonderful feminine clothes feel when worn on the right body.

[cdterri]

You explained many of the reasons I gave up living female and realized I just prefered to wear the clothes. Try finding a job, apt., make new friends, keep old friends or just live life un-hassled. I passed very well as female and the only thing that really gave Me away was my voice but there was no future in it. When people found out they were very mean and hurtfull and I found Myself (through no fault of My own) in several dangerous situations. It's not all it's cracked up to be!

[sometimes_miss]

TGMarla wrote:
First, I'd really like being a woman.
See, I used to think that too. But then, we will really never know. We can only imagine what it might have been like. There's no way we could possible know what the entire experience of growing up 'girl', with all the problems inherent to it, would be like.
Even last night, it came to me; I went out at 2 a.m., to get something to eat. When I came out of the diner, I drove down to a donut shop. I looked around. Within the block, there were about 20 or so people. All men. Not a single female in sight. Nor would I expect to see any. As a rather large guy, I never think twice about where I go, or when. As a woman, I would have to think about my safety all the time.
And lots of things along those lines. Women live a different experience than we do, very different. As a guy I can walk out of the house after spending ten minutes showering and shaving at the same time, then comb my hair and getting dressed. None of the women I've known could get out of the house in less than about 45 minutes at the very, very least. Hair, makeup, jewelery, etc., remembering what to put into her purse for the day, it went on and on; and I understand why it's all important. Then, the constant clothing and make up adjustments through out the day. Sure, it might seem kinda fun at first, but I'm sure it's a real drag for those who have to focus on it every single moment of every day. Then as above, the female 'equipment' maintainence, the knowledge that as you get older there's no possible way to remain as attractive as you once were no matter what you do, well it's surely not the 'fun' that lots of people here think it would be. Life is hard no matter who we are. And, I personally believe that it's harder for women. But I'll never, really know.

[erickka]

Being a real woman takes way too much work, and I certainly would NOT, and I repeat NOT want to endure the monthly friend that comes and hangs around for a week.

[jackieo]

In a hart beat!!!!! And if I could go to sleep and wake up as this beautiful women.My mom is in her late 60s and still looks 50 and my sister is a looker according to my friends.
And all the other stuff that gos with it (The monthly friend)low pay the works.klinefelter syndrome is been a real problem all my life and I feel I have been on the fence for the last 40 years and god pulled a real cruel joke.
I wish he would of decided witch one it was going to be instead of a little of both.And the meds they give for it don't work I have been to 16 doctors and this last one he tried a different approach but with the hormones all over the place its hell.
And I have gave this a lot of thought and If I had to pick a side it the girls side.
Jackieo:cheer:

[Miranda09]

An interesting post and question.. As for me, yes I'd like to try living as a GG for a time to see what it's like from that perspective. Saying that, however, I dont envy the roles women play in our culture or the severe biological changes they have to endure throughout their lives. I think if men had to go thru those same biological changes, they'd shoot themselves. Even tho we are progressing to a so called enlightened society, how many commercials do you see out there where women are still protrayed as the Suzy-homemaker housewife??

[Leanne2]

If I was born female then I wouldn't be the person that I am now. I would take the fun girly parts for granted and probably just complain about the not so good stuff; like earning less money than guys, like something wonderful that happens once a month, like being stuck with the kids all the time, like having to do the household chores after coming home from my job away from home, like pretending that three minutes worth of sex is satisfying.
And I wouldn't understand why my husband would want to pretend to be a second class citizen. No, I just wouldn't get it. So I'm amazed at all of the ggs in this forum that do get it. You're a better man than I am. Leanne

[nicoletta_cd]

very thought provoking question. i am definitely in it for the trappings. i enjoy everything that is femme and sexy about dressing as a women - from the feeling of lipstick on my lips to slipping a nyloned foot into a 4" heel. that being said, i don't think i could do that every day, even now. im just too lazy and like getting ready in ten minutes to go somewhere most days, lol.:)

[Shelly67]

I think I,d still rather be a guy .
I don,t like this macho bull dropping world we live in but theres one thing thats pure and driving . As a crossdresser , I think the anticipation , the desire , the lust we feel time to time looking foward to the next availble time to transform as good if not annoyingly better than the act itself .
Indeed perhaps now I,ll abstain for awhile , do it on pourpose to enrage that lovely moment as you first step from the shower ,shaved and delicate before reaching for the make up bag .........

[Hope]

Definitely...

While this is a great question the flaw in the logic is that the alternative would have to be life as a man in the same culture, not life as a man in our current time / culture. While I wouldn't want to live as a woman in "some little dirt-poor tribe in Africa or New Guinea" I especially wouldn't want to live as a man their either. Nor a Puritan colony... nor in Afghanistan...

But in the final analysis, it isn't about what I want - it is about what I am... which, really, is quite femme, unless you count Jr.

[Senban]

Lorna said - "This forum is about crossDRESSing and that's my interest."

Our survey said FAIL :doh:


*** Welcome to Crossdressers.Com ***
*** The #1 Community for Crossdressers, the Transgendered, Transsexuals, their Loved Ones and Friends ***

Unless of course you were talking about this particular sub-forum but even then the lines are pretty blurry in practice.

I find it interesting by the way, this question of whether we'd want to be female in different historical periods and if we didn't feel that way then obviously we're not TS. I can see the logic behind that to a degree. But the more I thought about it, the more I realised that it wasn't strictly true. Let's take a GG in medieval England as a hypothetical rough example. She may be a GG but her role in society is such that she's a piece of meat. Would she sit there and think "wow life is t3h sux but I'm female so everything's great!" No, she'd probably be wishing that in a sociological way she was male and who knows how many women took on male personas to break out of social niches? In fact, this reminds me rather nicely of a clip from Black Adder :D

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QG9HSqjGWKY

[sometimes_miss]

TGMarla wrote:
That said, I still find the cute girly clothing to be a big part of the attraction

Sure, for some it's all about the clothes, but for a lot of others, we'd just want to be a cute girly, no matter what the clothes looked like.

[stormrider]

This is a very challenging question, but it sort of rings to the million dollar question I used to hear in high school. "Would you have oral sex with a man for 1 million dollars?" Heck, yeah. "How about $500,000.00?" That's a lot of money, sure. "What about $100,000.00?" Ummm, OK. "$10,000.00?" Wait a minute!! What I see here is a challenge as to how badly we would want to be a woman, would we be a woman in 18th century Europe? Would we be a woman in Somalia or Afganistan, or China in the 1930's? Trying to judge our response to this is like comparing apples to pig parts. I am a 21st century American, and before that, a 20th century American. I would like nothing better that to be born a 20th century female American. If I was born a male in 20th century Afganistan (or India, China, etc.) I would rather be born a female in that culture. If I was born in 1800, or 1600, or 210 BC, I would rather be born a female in that time. Heck, I would rather be born in 1952 a female than in 1985 a female, but that is neither here not there. My life is my life and I am not going to trade my lifestyle for another. I am comfortable living the way I live. Does this cheapen my desire to be a woman? Not at all. Someone asked me once if I had my choice of living as a gitl for 10 years or a full lifetime as a man, what would I choose. Well, I like life and I don't feel to give it up. Being female is more than just the boob, the hips, and the indoor plumbing. Although I would love to have all those, I would never give up the wonderfull children and grandchildren I have just to get the accessories. I just wish I had the grace to accepth who I was earlier in life.

Michelle

[Edyta_C]

I guess I have to line up with TgMarla. I' a little bit country and a little bit rock n roll. I love the clothes, makeup hair etc. But part of me wants to be a girl. Perhaps when I was younger, I might have thought more seriously about actually changing my body. Now I just accept being part of each. I try to enjoy each part of my life. So I really act like a CDer but on the spectrum of gender I am sort of in between. After living more of my life as a guy, I have more guy mannerisms than when I was younger. But I can accept where I'm at. I try to accept where each of you is at.

Edy

[suzanneq]

marla wen i was a kid i wanted to be a girl,what happens in a woman life is what i want,it makes no different when or where,wearing what is classed as womens skirts etc,dosent matter,if you got girlie in you,you got it,youre one of the lucky ones&who says skirts are for what are called women?

[Leslie Mary S]

I am now a 'trappings' person. A true Cross dresser. I wear woman things because I enjoy it.
I have NO desire to alter my body. I have had 60+ years in it and sort of have gotten used to it.
Yes there were times, sometimes more frequently and stronger then now, that I would have changed. Times like in school I could not play sports due to the fact I was the school runt, had no depth perception and, regardless of the school - I went to 12 different schools, was also the school's leading nerd.
But over time I have mellowed out and learned to accept who I am.

I cross dress because I enjoy the feel. I have started going out because I want more. I want to to show off. I want to experience.

Just last weekend I went to Atlanta and got to be a lady for the whole weekend. It was exhilarating. It was, at times, a bit scary. But with a group of like individuals around me to comfort me, protect me, and help show me the 'ropes'. I truly enjoyed my self.
I am going back again next month.
I and my daughter, Dark AnGGel, will be joining 'Sigma Epsilon of Atlanta' and 'Tri-Ess'.

But to permanently change, No thank you.

[Tora]

Marla,

I hate to admit that at 58, as a father, husband, grandfather, No. I am one who is here for dessert. I love the excape, the lingerie, the infreqint departure, from the norm. Great question, nicely offered before happy hour.
After happy hour it would have been too tough.

[victoriamwilliams1]

I think that everyone thinks the grass is greener on the other side:) for me if I could do it all over again I would need the same family and the same area.