Physical Attraction to the opposite sex

[kristyk]

Did any of the trans people have this type of problem growing up
As young man I dated the best I could. The talking and cuddling was also so good for me and I could really relate to the girls feelings I would emotional feel attached as friends. Then when it would go to thye next level I constantly found myself looking at what I was doing through the womans eyes mentally I would make a connection however physically it was in most of the cases impossible for me to perform physically. A similair thing would happen when we would break up I would get so emotionally attached to the girl it would be like loosing a family member, and my friends could not understand why I was so emotionally exhausted after some relationships ended.

It seemed to me that anytime I dated a woman and we got intimate I could not stop thinking how I yearned to be on the other side of this situation. I didn't want to be a guy making love to a guy that really did not do anything for me I wanted to be a the girl being dated by the guy. Not only did I want the guy to ask me out I wanted the attention that the girls got when out with a guy that also included being intimte as well. If I was watching movies, at our local playhouse watching the performers, watching a romantic TV show or even read a good romance noval I am always the female I have never been able to not do this. Did many of the FTMor MTF go through this same situation. I ask beccause sometimes listening to others or reading their responses I feel like this is not a feeling of most TRANS people until they have transitioned I have had these feelings all my life.

Kristy K

[Carole Cross]

I can relate to your post, I have also felt those emotions myself. I always considered the needs of theegirl above my own and treated her the way I would have liked to be treated if I was in her place. I always felt that I was never fully fulfilled after sex. Somehow it just didn't feel quite right. I have had very emotional break ups, crying for a couple of days after and feeling depressed for at least a week.
I have often fantasised about being treated as a girl by a guy and have even had intinate dreams where I was the girl. I have never considered having sex with a guy as a guy and have never considered myself as homosexual. I have always known that I dhould have been born a girl, I just never had the confidence to transition, until now. :battingeyelashes:

[John]

I can relate, but in the reverse. Like when I had a boyfriend as a teenager I wanted to pay half twards going out (like he'd buy cinemar tickets, I'd buy the popcorn and drinks), not just ocationaly but most if not all of the time; I didn't want to be 'taken out' like a lady, as it where, I wanted to at least contribute to the 'taking out'. I didn't want to be the girl in the relationship.

Admitedly if a nice guy offered to take me out and buy me dinner now I'm over my gender related insecurities I'd hardly object :o

[Karen564]

Did any of the trans people have this type of problem growing up
As young man I dated the best I could. The talking and cuddling was also so good for me and I could really relate to the girls feelings I would emotional feel attached as friends. Then when it would go to thye next level I constantly found myself looking at what I was doing through the womans eyes mentally I would make a connection however physically it was in most of the cases impossible for me to perform physically. A similair thing would happen when we would break up I would get so emotionally attached to the girl it would be like loosing a family member, and my friends could not understand why I was so emotionally exhausted after some relationships ended.

It seemed to me that anytime I dated a woman and we got intimate I could not stop thinking how I yearned to be on the other side of this situation. I didn't want to be a guy making love to a guy that really did not do anything for me I wanted to be a the girl being dated by the guy. Not only did I want the guy to ask me out I wanted the attention that the girls got when out with a guy that also included being intimte as well. If I was watching movies, at our local playhouse watching the performers, watching a romantic TV show or even read a good romance noval I am always the female I have never been able to not do this. Did many of the FTMor MTF go through this same situation. I ask beccause sometimes listening to others or reading their responses I feel like this is not a feeling of most TRANS people until they have transitioned I have had these feelings all my life.

Kristy K

Yes Kristy,

That's exactly how I have always felt,
I never felt comfortable as the guy performing sex, I wanted it the other way around, I realized this the very 1st time I had sex with a girl when I was a teenager and my feelings never changed as an adult, the only way I could ever climax was thinking I was the girl or woman being penetrated at that very moment, so when she came, I came, because I was fantasizing I was actually her having the orgasm..if that makes any sense to you..

All the girls thought I was a terrific lover because we could both orgasm at the same time, but they never knew how I did it or what was going through my mind at that time..............if they only knew...:heehee:

I've written about my thoughts about this a few times in past posts..

[Shikyo]

Throughout my life, I was never really after sex. I just did not care about the thing hanging down there, all I was interested was the opposite sex, how to give pleasure to her. Of course, I wished I'd be the one in that situation. It never changed, it still has not changed. I'm attracted to females as another female, not as a guy.

I still feel uncomfortable with that thing hanging there, I just don't want to use it for anything. It has no other use besides peeing at all.

[gavina]

I can relate to Kristys post thats exactly how i feel (i thought it was only me) in any relationship i've had with a girl/women i've always yearned/fantasized that i was her and wanted a guy to make love to me. Sex with males or females in this body just doesn't do anything for me at all. When i was younger and hanging around with my friends looking at/chatting up girls i'd always be thinking about how i'd love to look like a certain girl or what i'd look like in her outfit rather than anything sexual.

[kristyk]

Its funny how little things like this can eat at me until I have to ask somebody what they think I guess this keeps me at an even keel.
Love all your opinions thanks a bunch
KristyK

[Linda Z]

Its funny how little things like this can eat at me until I have to ask somebody what they think I guess this keeps me at an even keel.
Love all your opinions thanks a bunch
KristyK

I agree.

I find the pain in this type of love is great for writting poems.
helps find a place to live, or even you keel.

Linda Z

[Byanca]

It's kind of similar to me. I usually just want to kiss-and i think i am good up to that point. When clothes go off things get spoiled. Afterwards I feel bad. It's years since I decided not to do this to females more. They have no idea what is going on. And they think the sexual part is a good thing for me-that they are making me happy, oh my. So I stay away from sex with other people, it's to complicated for all people I have met to handle.

I've been in two relationships. The first one I cried for about one week when it broke, uncontrollable and irregular-on and of the whole days. Locked myself up. Total mess. Did not think it was possible to be like this. Something died inside me after-but I did learn a lot about my self during that week. The second one was more normal, since I held back from the beginning, so I didnt fall so deeply in love. But still that was enough to make me not want to do this anymore.

[Linda Z]

It's kind of similar to me. I usually just want to kiss-and i think i am good up to that point. When clothes go off things get spoiled. Afterwards I feel bad. It's years since I decided not to do this to females more. They have no idea what is going on. And they think the sexual part is a good thing for me-that they are making me happy, oh my. So I stay away from sex with other people, it's to complicated for all people I have met to handle.

I've been in two relationships. The first one I cried for about one week when it broke, uncontrollable and irregular-on and of the whole days. Locked myself up. Total mess. Did not think it was possible to be like this. Something died inside me after-but I did learn a lot about my self during that week. The second one was more normal, since I held back from the beginning, so I didnt fall so deeply in love. But still that was enough to make me not want to do this anymore.


I am so sorry to hear that, I understand how it tears at your heart, the first one is never forgoten, I am still not over mine and its been 35 years,
But I still love to flirt and play with GGs, its what I do. I am more carful now, but I need it for my life to feel good. other wise its cold out there.
Hope you find a middle ground for your self.

Linda Z

[Stephanie Stephens]

Kristy; You bring up a good point of view which cuts to the core of who you are sexuality. I think these things are the seeds of our personality. I too have felt that I was in the wrong position when having sex with a woman. On a number of occasions I have changed this relationship through role playing with women. In gay relationships, many times, there is a dominate and a sub-dominate partner. In my gay relationships I have preferred the more effeminate role, and in this role I have had the most gratifying sex.

[Chelseaswpa]

WOW OK so I am not wierd? LOL The same thing here and as I grow older- ahem "more mature" ;) The feeling definitely gets much stronger. I have recently been hanging out with a lez who likes straight girls and wants to be a boy. It is kind surreal the more we talk, oh how similar we are in that regard. Growing up in the 70's the lack of information was it was and only in the past 10 years or so finally figured out what my "issue" was! Hugs to all of you and a big thanks to Kristy for asking the question!

[kristyk]

LOL I new it! Reading the comments makes me smile because I can relate with all the girls comments gald to have such a great family you make me feel sane when I question sanity.

:)
KristyK

[Altema]

A great big Thank You! to Kristy K and all the others who responded to this thread. I had always felt it was just me that was "weird" like that. From the time I was first married at age 20 I have felt like I wanted to be the girl during sex. Growing up in the 50's, I had no idea what was wrong with me. This persisted until a few years ago, when I finally fully realized what was wrong. At age 66, I became the woman I had always wanted to be. My only regret is not having done it about 40 years ago! Now I have to seek out younger men, because most men my age can't perform any more!

[Sarah...]

Well written, Kirsty. I've always felt that way too.:)

Sarah xxx

[AKAMichelle]

This is the issue which has caused me the most conflict. See I don't think that I will ever transition. The feelings when I was younger were much more normal. I chased women and really enjoyed the chase. Now after 25+ years of marriage, things are different. For the last couple of years, I have been loosing interest in sex completely except as a woman. I love to watch romantic comedies and I have related to the females so much more through the years. My time of just talking about girly things has been so much more important than guys things.

I may never transition outside, but I have already started changing inside. This process has left me so much more confused. It would be so easy if the feelings were the same throughout my life, but instead they are changing which causes me to question these feelings as the pink fog.

[LisaM]

Kristy,

You described how I felt completely. Once, a woman in college told me that I was the type of person that girls wanted to be friends with---not have sex with or get married to. I didn't know whether to be offended or thankful. In the end I took it as a compliment

[Byanca]

I am so sorry to hear that, I understand how it tears at your heart, the first one is never forgoten, I am still not over mine and its been 35 years,
But I still love to flirt and play with GGs, its what I do. I am more carful now, but I need it for my life to feel good. other wise its cold out there.
Hope you find a middle ground for your self.

Linda Z
I also like that, to flirt and play, and that is enough for me. Maybe I can do more later on, someday.
What I bolded, that is how it is.

:hugs:

[kristyk]

Thanks for the supportive responses

I felt so guilty growing up high school was so very hard to keep my feelings under control. I so wanted to be one of the girls and seeing through their eyes was always much easier than seeing through a man's. I am glad to see others with the same type of problem like John who would pay his own way or buy the guy something just so he felt comfortable.

Lotz of Love
KristyK

[Veronica_Jean]

I can see many similarities in my life as to what you said.

I would always feel like "maybe this is the one" with every girl I would date (not all that many). Then I would be devastated when we broke up.

LAter as I realized my situation was one of wanting to be a woman, I noticed that when I was dressed as a woman I would feel a strong attractino to men, but I didn't when I was dressed as a male.

Having been married for 25 years I too experienced wanting to be in the role of the woman rather than the man. I had lots of difficulties performing and eventually simply stopped trying.

Now I have little desire, but I know that is just my attempt to overcome the loss of my wife in 2005. I don't know where it will lead once I start hormones, but I can't wait to find out.

I think a lot of us go through what you described. Isn't it wonderful to know you are not alone?

[kristyk]

Veronica so sorry about your wife losing your best friend is something I have always dread happening.

I tried so hard while dating my wife to be as sexual active as I thought she wanted me to be but I disappointed most of teh time as you did. I am so happy to hear others have been down this same road. Just knowing that I am the same as others and they had the same issues I had allows me to look back and leave some real life baggage behind that I carried. I tended to think of this as maybe I was gay or maybe I wasn't trans when I can listen to others that have had the same feelings I can fell better about myself

Veronica thanks for the response hope your transition goes well best of luck

Kristy K

[Veronica_Jean]

Thanks so much for your kind words.

We all carry around too much baggage so losing some is a good thing. Just don't get picked up for littering, I hears its a $500 fine :heehee:

[erica12b]

It's empathizing, not just sympathizing, most guys can’t even sympathize with other guys where I think most of us empathize with others, it makes us better and lonelier(sader)