my cd statment

[erica12b]

I have a new thought about my cross-dressing.

Dressing as a girl is looked down upon (by most), as a lessening of male (superiority). As a cross dresser I don’t feel that way, I put females up above my male-ness, and I want to emulate them, be excepted by them and loved by one of them, I may at times act like a girl , dress like a girl. (But not to become a real girl) For this I am thought of as a pervert, a sexual predator, a deviant. (It’s not true, but why do I half to defend myself) but for my action of dressing I am doing nothing – wrong- (need a better word) it’s not wrong.

Like most people I have a job and a family, so my cross-dressing, needs to be discreet, I don’t advertize my dressing or even my ideas on it. There are people in my life that I respect too much and they it would be devastated by this (shame). so I dress with the shades down, don’t go out and have a very limited social life, ( I feel this is sad )

but I try and be what I can and who I am, this is just me,

Thank you

[Karren H]

That's a good statment... I feel that men actually don't like us partly because on some level they may be attracted to us and that embaraces them big time and women don't see the "imitation is the greatest form of flattery" thing but they actually think that we are mocking them.. In my humble opinion...

[Sheila]

Karen, sorry but i don't think you are mocking women, nor do I see it as a form of flattery, for me it is part (NOTE PART) of who you are if you are a cder, now TS is a different, they are as far as I am concerned presenting to the world as the gender they are born as, just in the wrong body.

Now CDER's come in all shapes and sizes it would be interesting to find out how the F2M view things. :D

[BillieJoe]

Erica, I think I would have to agree with most of what you say. I do believe however that things are a lot rosier for us than when I started taking strolls around the block and taking drives late at night. If I would of been caught en femme I most certainly would've been arrested and possibly have to spend some time in jail. I'm glad those days are over. I had an episode as a 15 year old teenager where I was arrested for something that had to do with crossdressing and was ordered by the judge to undergo psychotherapy and counseling. I had to do this for about two years. They released me from treatment when they considered me 'cured'. ha ha ha. Funny thing about that-we never in those two years discussed 'my problem'. Oh and by the way Karen I don't think its possible for you to have 'a humble opinion'. LOL! Hope you realize I'm just kiddin sister. Love ya and I send to you a great big cyber-hug!

[Karren H]

Your biased, Sheila!! In a good way!! Lol. :)

In my UN-humble opinion!! :D

[diannecourtney]

I am a very late bloomer in the art of CD. However, your statement is so true and what I have discovered after many brief episodes over the years (plus 30 age) is that the feminine side makes me feel so much younger. Boy (" girl") do I admire the attire and make up of so many of you I would hope to achieve half of it.:):):) I wish the wife was of such understanding.

[Lorileah]

Karen, sorry but i don't think you are mocking women, nor do I see it as a form of flattery, for me it is part (NOTE PART) of who you are if you are a cder, now TS is a different, they are as far as I am concerned presenting to the world as the gender they are born as, just in the wrong body.

Now CDER's come in all shapes and sizes it would be interesting to find out how the F2M view things. :D

Can we clone Sheila? I really admire her open and accepting attitude. Debs beware, you leave her in a pub just long enough to get a pint that TG in the corner is going to steal her.

I don't flatter women. I don't mock women. I dislike the overt drag queens that do. I wear clothing that somehow, and I have given up trying to figure out why because I am old dammit, that are sexy and comfortable to me. No different than the majority of women. Yet looked upon as perverse for some reason. I rarely lift my skirt in public and I have never molested anyone no matter what age or sex.

I agree that men fear us and maybe as a wimpy male in real life that is part of the charm. They fear us because they may like us but I also think they fear us because the fear they may be like us. I wish they feared us because we would a threat to stealing their mates. Wouldn't that be a turn?

Erica, you can only be who you are. Trying to be someone else just leads to depression and an early grave. Be comfortable in your skin. If things are like you like them now, keep the status quo. Things evolve. In the next 5-10 years you may find that your definition of who you are has changed dramatically.

[sissystephanie]

In whose mind is dressing as a girl looked down upon? Not in my mind, and it certainly wasn't in the mind of my dear late wife! And I don't give a hoot what others think about what I wear! If someone thinks I am a pervert, etc., let them try to say it to my face! All I will add is that they better be tough!!!

Karren, men definitely could be attracted to you, but I don't think women would think you are mocking them. My idea is that looking at you dressed, they are full of jealousy!! If they could only look so good! You are a much better looking "woman" than a vast majority out there!

As you, Karren, have said, and I certainly agree, it is who you are, the best of both genders!!

I'm not from there, but still, GO PENGUINS!!

[Samantha Kelsey]

Well, I think that men don't like us cos we're men, gays don't like us cos we're lesbians and most women don't like us cos they're straight. Wouldn't it be great if they could see us as people!
But never mind cos I see you all as special.

[Tania D]

I think Samantha Kelsey has just about summed it up

[Erica K.]

Life is too short to fit in someone's idea of normal. If you think you found a status quo, you will only find out the majority of of the world doesn't agree with you, no matter what your view/belief is. I mean how many people cd? Throughout the course of our species, as soon as someone said boys look like this and girls look like this, there has been CDing. Probably CDers themselves. the internet has shown a lot of us that we are not alone, we not the freaks that the media has manipulated us to believe, and we're not sick. We just like lacy things :)

I wish you the best in your growth.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Excellent statement, which is short and to the point in describing a CD.

[erica12b]

i just had to put my thoughts down, and this is how it came out , i cant make anyone except me but i can except my self, and as for fitting in we all fit the roles in life we need to fill but then we add the real self to them, after i was divorced i found that the dad role was a big role that i did not know about tell they where gone then back and gone and back,(my weekends)

as a guy i really want a gf but i know (just know) she will half to know erica too, so i need to understand myself before any gg can get to know the whole me

i talk too much lol

[erica12b]

ok its like two weeks and i still feelthis way so i must have got somthing right , i was thinking about the cd-ts and i might say that we are all ts , that is every person male or female, but we all have diffrent levels the two extrems are male and female with diffrent levels in the middle as androginus, then there are some of us that dont fit in to just two or three of the slots on the scale, we fit in five or sex of the slots , this make any sence to any one?

[Gennifer]

Erica,

What you said initially really resonated with me. And you said it well. As far as there being a scale from ts-cd, or from male to female, for that matter, I agree there, too. I think we can spend a lot of time thinking about what we are instead of being who we are. That is something I aspire to, and sometimes I get it, the being part, but I have found that I have to catch myself in the self analysis phase, which we do pretty much all of the time, and step back to say, ah, but in this moment now, this is who I am. As I said, easier to say than to do.

[erica12b]

Im not good with writing words (male self) way better speaking, and I hope im saying everything so all can understand, I understand myself, mostly but its still hard at times to except and then what do you do there is no guide to help you do the steps, so I get on here and blabber and make statements wish I could put it all together in one peace instead of broken bits and pieces, you know?:2c:

[Miranda09]

Alot of what you say Erica is very true...but that's why this site is here so we dont feel so isolated. ;)

[Paula T]

You are a much better looking "woman" than a vast majority out there! X2:)

[MissConstrued]

Dressing as a girl is looked down upon (by most), as a lessening of male (superiority).

Only if you want it to.



That's a good statment... I feel that men actually don't like us partly because on some level they may be attracted to us and that embaraces them big time

Hmm. I decided not to psychoanalyze the people who, for whatever reason, had a problem with me. I just don't talk to them any more. I replaced my unaccepting "friends" with a more laid back crowd. Best thing I've ever done, and I highly recommend it.

Why the hell would you want to hang around people who don't like you?

[marny]

Couldn't agree with Samantha more. You nailed it girl. As to diannecourtney, you are relatively new and i am sure you are trying to be polite. I consider the term 'the wife' demeaning and offensive. I hope you will think it though and refrain from using it in the future.

[MissConstrued]

I consider the term 'the wife' demeaning and offensive. I hope you will think it though and refrain from using it in the future.


Maybe other people find your pedantic, politically-correct nitpicking to be offensive.

I know quite a variety of couples who have quite a variety of pet names for each other. None of them are any of your damn business.

[Prissy Linda]

Only if you want it to.




Hmm. I decided not to psychoanalyze the people who, for whatever reason, had a problem with me. I just don't talk to them any more. I replaced my unaccepting "friends" with a more laid back crowd. Best thing I've ever done, and I highly recommend it.

Why the hell would you want to hang around people who don't like you?

That says it all...

[Ruth]

For this I am thought of as a pervert, a sexual predator, a deviant.
Erica, this is interesting. Who thinks this? Only a few people (other than on this forum) know that I am a CDer, but none of them thinks any of the above things about me.
Are you calling down names on yourself out of some kind of guilt?
I am at ease with my CDing, I present it to those I have told with no shame or apology, so they in turn are not inclined to think ill of me.

[erica12b]

in a way , I am, its how I was raised, strict, im very selfconsus , and its the area I live, even the gg's here are raised to walk and talk like guys
(I won’t get graphic, but they chew and spit better that some of the guys)

Also it’s just a social view, there are no real to life shows with a cd in it.

The crime shows have a cd every now and then (there the in you face type )

Im trying to change the way I feel about myself , and that’s hard at times you know?

[sexxynikki83]

I agree with what erica is saying....and to add a bit to it, as a very straight male and closet cd, I have noticed that my feminine side has helped tremendously with relationships.

[Carly D.]

For me, in case I were to get caught.. my statement when asked the dumb question "Do you want to be a woman?" my answer is simply "no, I just like to wear they're clothes" pretty much that cut and dry...

[Miranda09]

I agree with what erica is saying....and to add a bit to it, as a very straight male and closet cd, I have noticed that my feminine side has helped tremendously with relationships.

This is part of what I'm exploring with my CDing...to understand women much better than I used to so when I (hopefully) finally do enter into a relationship with a GG, it'll be a much more complete and satisfying experience. Of course it would be nice if she accepted my CD lifestyle as well . :)

[erica12b]

This makes me feel better when (I am down, or depressed) I put these thoughts and feelings into words and post them here . Someday I hope to meet and discuss them with others and can verbalize them better, please forgive for the repost of a old thread , it has been revised ,


My Revised statement ‘my cross dressing’


Dressing as a girl is looked down upon (by most in our society), as a lessening of the male (superiority) or a mocking of the female (some gg’s just don’t like it). I don’t feel that way, I put females above my male-ness, and I want to emulate them, be accepted by them and (hopefully) loved by (someday) one of them. I may at times act like a girl, dress like a girl, present myself as a girl. For this I am thought of as (categorized as) a pervert, a sexual predator, a deviant. Or sick (why must I defend myself) but for my action of dressing, what am I doing – wrong. As I try to find my place, my balance in this world every day I make new discoveries, and refine my ideas about myself, I can not change the world but I may influence others idea’s or conceptions , by my thoughts or actions.

Like most people I have a family and a job, so my cross-dressing, needs to (must) be discreet, I don’t advertize my dressing or even my ideas on it. There are people in my life that I respect too much and they would be devastated by this (shame) discovery. So I dress with the shades down, don’t go out and have a very limited social life, it is a self imposed exile.

I wish (hope) some day that I can go out every now and then, And pass (be accepted) as Erica. Tell that day I will try and under stand myself and my different sides (fem-side, male–side) both are me. Should I bring them together, or keep them apart, what will work best for me? I will try and not push my agenda on others but I may give advice from time to time. I will try and not let others with good harts and good intentions push there agenda’s on me

I try and be the best I can and who I am, this is just me, and all I can be.


Erica