Going to slowly come out this year...

[TrekGirl1701]

One thing I've learned in the past year since I started to come here is that my personal taste in clothing is never going to change. So why should I be forced to dress in clothes that I'm not comfortable in and aren't my taste. Seriously, I rarely shop for clothes anymore because looking around the men's section is like pulling teeth. I walk around for half an hour and I never find anything I like. But I eventually settle for something because I need new clothes. If I walked two steps over to the Junior's/Women's section I would have a field day. The clothes are more comfortable, more stylish, more me.

I've always wanted long hair. Shoulder-length hair, to be precise. But I always get my haircut when it starts to get the least bit shaggy. Not anymore. My hair is starting to get a little long and I'm going to keep growing it out.

I'm kind of lazy as far as shaving my face goes. I usually wait a week to shave, but now I'm going to keep it clean shaven all the time.

One thing I was thinking about trying was wearing women's jeans to work. I work in a warehouse so it's pretty casual, but I hate loose-fitting clothing. The jeans they sell in the Junior's department are like a Godsend. They are SO comfortable. They're made with that stretch denim so even though they're tight they're comfy, too. That's a big step, though and I would have to start doing that when I get close to officially coming out.

I'm already planning my Halloween costume for this year, which will be a female starship captain from the original Star Trek series. :D That will probably be when I officially come out. Because I can already imagine the barrage of questions I'll likely get when people see me in that costume.

This is what I'm planning to do this year. If anybody has any other advice on how to approach this I'd love to hear it.

[JulieC]

This is what I'm planning to do this year. If anybody has any other advice on how to approach this I'd love to hear it.

Every journey is different. If it works for you, it works :) I haven't come out to anyone other than my wife (well, of late anyway). But, if I did, I'd probably do similar.

[tricia_uktv]

Take your time is dead right. Build up your attitude and confidence, you will need a thick skin! When you are confident in yourself you will amaze yourself, I promise. Good luck and keep us posted, we're all behid you.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

By coming out, do you mean to your wife? Or wife and family? Or as in out, period, everyone who knows you will know about your feminine side?

Whichever it is, I think you've got a decent plan.

That is how I came out to my wife - slowly and carefully over the course of a year. I gave her pieces of the puzzle in small amounts and carefully watched her reaction to it all so as not to push too much too soon.

The slow and steady approach worked very well for me, but then again, my situation was pretty unique (or at least not as wide spread as many). Check the "coming out" link in my sig for more on that.

From one Trekkie to another: No need to hit warp 9. Keep moving forward at a steady pace using impulse engines and raise shields only as necessary along the way. :)

Actually, come to think of it. People like us would never have a problem if we were living in the Star Trek universe. They were very open-minded in the 24th century, don't you think? If we existed there right now, I doubt we'd be reading "I'm purging" and "I'm quitting" and "I'm so confused" and "my wife is leaving me" threads. There would be no hard times - at least not because of crossdressing. Yes, I'm sure crossdressing would be much simpler on the Enterprise... I just wonder if they'd allow it on duty as well as off? :heehee:

[TrekGirl1701]

By coming out, do you mean to your wife? Or wife and family? Or as in out, period, everyone who knows you will know about your feminine side?

Whichever it is, I think you've got a decent plan.

By coming out I mean to my family and friends. I'm not married.


That is how I came out to my wife - slowly and carefully over the course of a year. I gave her pieces of the puzzle in small amounts and carefully watched her reaction to it all so as not to push too much too soon.

That's pretty much the idea I have. I don't want to just walk up to everybody and say "I'm a crossdresser". They, as far as I know, have no clue about this part of me so I want to ease them into it.


From one Trekkie to another: No need to hit warp 9. Keep moving forward at a steady pace using impulse engines and raise shields only as necessary along the way. :)

Yeah, like I said I'm planning on coming out officially around Halloween, so that's a good six months away. During that time I'm going to let my hair grow out and start being more myself, which will hopefully soften the blow when I do come out.


Actually, come to think of it. People like us would never have a problem if we were living in the Star Trek universe. They were very open-minded in the 24th century, don't you think? If we existed there right now, I doubt we'd be reading "I'm purging" and "I'm quitting" and "I'm so confused" and "my wife is leaving me" threads. There would be no hard times - at least not because of crossdressing. Yes, I'm sure crossdressing would be much simpler on the Enterprise... I just wonder if they'd allow it on duty as well as off? :heehee:

I'm not sure if you ever watched "The Next Generation", but during the first season there was a mini-skirt variant of the uniform, similar to the Original Series, that both women and men wore. Gene Roddenberry said he did that to show that in the 24th century gender lines were pretty much nonexistent. Sadly it didn't last beyond the first season, but it was still interesting to see.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I'm not sure if you ever watched "The Next Generation", but during the first season there was a mini-skirt variant of the uniform, similar to the Original Series, that both women and men wore. Gene Roddenberry said he did that to show that in the 24th century gender lines were pretty much nonexistent. Sadly it didn't last beyond the first season, but it was still interesting to see.

Yeah - I do remember that! lol

I actually did not care for that. They just looked like men in a female uniform. I would have preferred to see them try to appear more feminine. That's me though. I prefer the complete look, rather than just a "man in a dress" look. Different strokes, though. :) I think his reasoning was right on trek though... er, right on track. :heehee: Mega kudos to Gene Roddenberry for trying. He was, in fact, right about gender lines not existing in the future. Unfortunately, we've got some ways to go before that is reality, but it will come.

In terms of your coming out, I think your idea is a good one, like I said. I hope you don't run into any snags along the way. I did, but because I did things very slowly, it wasn't too difficult to deal with.

I think it's great that you'll be doing this before you're married or in a long-term relationship... wait, are you in a long-term relationship? Anyway, best to come out/be out before getting into anything long-term. That way you'll know that your SO loves you for you as your whole self. :) I got really lucky marring a woman who turned out to be very accepting.

If I ever found myself on the dating scene again (which I hope I do not), I would definitely divulge this information before things got too serious. I could never be happy with a woman who did not enjoy and love Gabrielle as much as I do... not even if she was a Star Trek fan! :heehee:

[Myst]

I think it's great that you'll be doing this before you're married or in a long-term relationship... best to come out/be out before getting into anything long-term. That way you'll know that your SO loves you for you as your whole self.

Exactly. If you hide this part of yorself going into a relationship, it can make things difficult. Better to be yourself as you enter anything serious - even better if you are just out in general.

[TrekGirl1701]

In terms of your coming out, I think your idea is a good one, like I said. I hope you don't run into any snags along the way. I did, but because I did things very slowly, it wasn't too difficult to deal with.

I think it's great that you'll be doing this before you're married or in a long-term relationship... wait, are you in a long-term relationship? Anyway, best to come out/be out before getting into anything long-term. That way you'll know that your SO loves you for you as your whole self. :) I got really lucky marring a woman who turned out to be very accepting.

If I ever found myself on the dating scene again (which I hope I do not), I would definitely divulge this information before things got too serious. I could never be happy with a woman who did not enjoy and love Gabrielle as much as I do... not even if she was a Star Trek fan! :heehee:

I'm not in a long-term relationship, no. But if I ever do get into one, they'll have to accept this part of me 100% or it just won't work. Nobody is going to try and change who I am.

ETA: Okay, I'll take what just happened as a sign that I'm definitely doing the right thing. My mom just asked me if I was growing my hair out. Currently it's the longest I've ever had it. I said yes, and she said "Good. I like long hair." It's a step in the right direction, at least.