Going to quit... wish me luck

[jruiz]

I decided to quit crossdressing.

I know that many of you think that it's not possible, and of course this is not the most popular comment in a crossdressing forum. But I will try.

I will try to number my reasons:

- I had a hard family situation that made me realize that my family is the most important thing in my entire world, and that anything, including crossdressing, will top my family in priority and that my family deserves more of my time and energy.
- I made a promise to God that if this situation was solved, I was going to try to quit crossdressing.
- I'm also not willing to destroy my marriage or the image my kids have about me in case I make a mistake and get caught. And something I've learned from this forum is that getting caught is just a matter of time. Actually, this forum has helped me to take the decision. Too many stories of struggled marriages and distress.
- I'm too stressed about keeping my things hidden. I've already purged, including one particular item that was very important to me (Veronica II).
- The pink fog has been fading lately. I think that I was able to see myself and not just through my "pink eyeglasses", and understand that I will ever look as a guy. Actually, pictures of some girls here (even the best looking ones), made me realize that looking feminine is just an illusion and an act of self-confidence.
- I'm kind of appreciating more my male side. I'm feeling more confident and adequate as a male, and sometimes I feel phony or silly when I dresses

I know it's not going to be easy. I'm asking you to please wish me good luck, and to pray for me if you believe in God.

Maybe I will fail, but I'd really like to try it very hard this time. But I will try not to fail.

Thanks, and good luck!!!

[GaleWarning]

Well, it's good luck from me, jruiz, with every aspect of your life.
Blessings from God be upon you, too.

[Holly]

You have my sincerest best wishes. You have chosen a very difficult path.

[Greymancd]

Good luck with your choice and I truly hope you are successful! Always remember the reasons you are doing this when the going gets tough!

[Marilynn]

Family is everything. Take it from someone who just lost his last close family member. Good luck, and look forward with confidence.

[tricia_uktv]

All the best, but... I suspect it will never go away. Good luck

[Sarah...]

Okay, good luck :)

Hey! How about staying here on the forum and telling us how it goes? Keep in touch and carry on being a friend. :)

Sarah xxx

[JulieC]

- I had a hard family situation that made me realize that my family is the most important thing in my entire world, and that anything, including crossdressing, will top my family in priority and that my family deserves more of my time and energy.

Life is always a balance. You can't spend 100% of your time, even 100% of your available time, on your family. It's impossible. Happiness isn't found in trying to spend every last second with your family. It can be found in identifying where you are needed, how you are needed, and doing your best to fulfill those needs.


- I made a promise to God that if this situation was solved, I was going to try to quit crossdressing.

So did I. Trust me, you have just about zero chance of being as devoted <I think I need to censor>. I made this very same promise a long, long time ago. I held to it for years. I failed.

When I finally broke the promise, the feelings that rushed out of me were quite literally overwhelming. I think I was getting a message that was very opposite of what I would have ever expected.


- I'm also not willing to destroy my marriage or the image my kids have about me in case I make a mistake and get caught. And something I've learned from this forum is that getting caught is just a matter of time. Actually, this forum has helped me to take the decision. Too many stories of struggled marriages and distress.

Yes, it could destroy your marriage. So could cancer. So could a drunk driver. So could a tornado. So could any number of other things that are _beyond your control_.

There's an illusion frequently held by crossdressers that it is something we can control, remove, excise from our lives and be done with it. Oh if only it were so. I'm not a clinical psychologist, and there's little real research in this area. But, every shred of evidence I or any other crossdresser I've spoken with at length about it has said points strongly to crossdressing being something that is part of you as much as your eye color, your blood type, etc. You can no more get rid of it than you can change how you sweat.

Understand; there can be very serious ramifications to trying to suppress this within you. This forum has been witness to many people who have regaled us with stories about how suppressing crossdressing had very serious negative effects on their lives. You may find yourself more quick to anger, in need of drug therapies, counseling for seemingly unrelated issues, and more.


- I'm too stressed about keeping my things hidden. I've already purged, including one particular item that was very important to me (Veronica II).

I can understand the urge to purge. I used to do it too. It seems a good choice when you're trying to stop; it removes temptation. In your case, it removes chances of being discovered. Sounds like a win-win.

It isn't.



- The pink fog has been fading lately. I think that I was able to see myself and not just through my "pink eyeglasses", and understand that I will ever look as a guy. Actually, pictures of some girls here (even the best looking ones), made me realize that looking feminine is just an illusion and an act of self-confidence.

It's a flawed notion to think that the reason we crossdress is to BE a woman. Being able to pass can and is a goal for many, but for many it is so that we can go out in society and be treated as normal individuals.

As a recent thread here noted, it's not about trying to be a woman. It's about trying to be ourselves.

I don't dress up in a dress, hose, heels, etc. because I think I make a good looking woman. I don't dress up because I think I can pass (I can't). I dress up because this is me. I don't it for the benefit of others, I do it for me. I will always look like a guy in a dress. I don't care. If I didn't dress up, I'd have some very real problems in my life.


- I'm kind of appreciating more my male side. I'm feeling more confident and adequate as a male, and sometimes I feel phony or silly when I dresses

Your self confidence as a male is good, but it bears little relation to your other less-typically-male aspects.

You're trying to be something you aren't. You're going to try to be something you think of as 'ideal', but your idea of ideal is not you. Welcome to self loathing.


I know it's not going to be easy. I'm asking you to please wish me good luck, and to pray for me if you believe in God.

Maybe I will fail, but I'd really like to try it very hard this time. But I will try not to fail.

Thanks, and good luck!!!

I don't wish you good luck, because I believe what you are doing is going to hurt you. I can't wish you luck to do that. I can, and will, pray for you.

I would ask just one favor from you; come back in six months time, a year's time, a few years time and let us know how it has worked out.

[shykrista]

i definitely want to wish you the best of luck... coming from similiar circumstances i can understand the sacrifice you're making, and you can take comfort in knowing you're doing it for the best of reasons... of course, never say never, the "pink fog" will return... it never really goes away! of course, looking good as a female is great, but it's more about expressing who we are and how we feel... having said that, tho, i definitely respect your decision and hope everything works out for the best with you!

[Joanne f]

I wish you good luck because you feel that you are doing it for the right reasons , but have you ever thought that those right reasons might want to to the same for you .

[jruiz]

Life is always a balance. You can't spend 100% of your time, even 100% of your available time, on your family. It's impossible. Happiness isn't found in trying to spend every last second with your family. It can be found in identifying where you are needed, how you are needed, and doing your best to fulfill those needs.


You are right, I can't spend 100% of time with my family, but I can spend more. But I'm sure about something: crossdressing is not making me happy either.




So did I. Trust me, you have just about zero chance of being as devoted <I think I need to censor>. I made this very same promise a long, long time ago. I held to it for years. I failed.

When I finally broke the promise, the feelings that rushed out of me were quite literally overwhelming. I think I was getting a message that was very opposite of what I would have ever expected.


I'm not trying to be more devoted than somebody else. I know I can fail, and I promised to try it hard, knowing my limitations



Yes, it could destroy your marriage. So could cancer. So could a drunk driver. So could a tornado. So could any number of other things that are _beyond your control_.

There's an illusion frequently held by crossdressers that it is something we can control, remove, excise from our lives and be done with it. Oh if only it were so. I'm not a clinical psychologist, and there's little real research in this area. But, every shred of evidence I or any other crossdresser I've spoken with at length about it has said points strongly to crossdressing being something that is part of you as much as your eye color, your blood type, etc. You can no more get rid of it than you can change how you sweat.


I'm not transgendered. I'm a crossdresser.

I don't think that it's on my ADN and I think that it can be controlled. It's not going to be easy, of course. I think that we have to agree on disagreeing about this point.



Understand; there can be very serious ramifications to trying to suppress this within you. This forum has been witness to many people who have regaled us with stories about how suppressing crossdressing had very serious negative effects on their lives. You may find yourself more quick to anger, in need of drug therapies, counseling for seemingly unrelated issues, and more.


I'm having some ramifications already for having this with me. I hope to get rid of these ramifications when I quit.

Do you have any example of such threads/posts? I can remember a lot of threads about broken realtionships and distress caused by crossdressing than by quiting. I don't remember any of the ones you are mentioning



I can understand the urge to purge. I used to do it too. It seems a good choice when you're trying to stop; it removes temptation. In your case, it removes chances of being discovered. Sounds like a win-win.

It isn't.


Why not? If I want to sincerely stop, it makes no sense to have all this stuff.



It's a flawed notion to think that the reason we crossdress is to BE a woman. Being able to pass can and is a goal for many, but for many it is so that we can go out in society and be treated as normal individuals.

As a recent thread here noted, it's not about trying to be a woman. It's about trying to be ourselves.

I don't dress up in a dress, hose, heels, etc. because I think I make a good looking woman. I don't dress up because I think I can pass (I can't). I dress up because this is me. I don't it for the benefit of others, I do it for me. I will always look like a guy in a dress. I don't care. If I didn't dress up, I'd have some very real problems in my life.



It's a flawed notion to think that everybody crossdresses because of the same reasons. I also crossdress for me, not for others, but I want to look good, and I'm always disappointed. I don't want to be a woman.




Your self confidence as a male is good, but it bears little relation to your other less-typically-male aspects.

You're trying to be something you aren't. You're going to try to be something you think of as 'ideal', but your idea of ideal is not you. Welcome to self loathing.


Actually, I think that we are what we make ourselves. And I'm already a guy with a nice guy life.

I don't plan to kill all my "female" personality. I mean, I will alway be sensitive, cuddler and all these "feminine" things that I do, and that I think makes me an special guy.



I don't wish you good luck, because I believe what you are doing is going to hurt you. I can't wish you luck to do that. I can, and will, pray for you.

I would ask just one favor from you; come back in six months time, a year's time, a few years time and let us know how it has worked out.

Thank for your prayers. I really appreciate. But come on, at least, wish me luck about having a good result from all this, even if I don't succeed quitting.

I will be back in a few months to comment about this.

[Sigrid Cutie]

Good luck and best wishes

[Daintre]

I wish you well, jruiz, we have to make tough decisions in our lives at times and putting your family and your marriage first sounds like a plan to me. I am not saying it will be easy, but if you have the resolve to see this through, then God speed.

[jruiz]

Thank you all for your good wishes! :love:

[Lorileah]

Good luck and we hope everything works out so we never see you again. However, we will be here if you change your mind. As the song goes, winter spring summer or fall, all you gotta do is call, you gotta a friend. Actually hundreds

[SherylynJade]

I wish you the best of luck in your choice.

[Karren H]

Yeah!!! If that's what you want, hope you succeed !!!

[kellycan27]

The best of luck to you. Your intentions are pure, and I wish and will pray for your success, and happiness. And I wouldn't worry about that promise to God...He will forgive you if you break it. LOL
Kelly
:hugs:

[Missy]

ok you want to quit crossdressing would it not be easyer just to let it out into the light and see what happens if the wife can not accept it then she could be more supportive if she knew you was quiting. the stress of qiuting can be worse then you think. if you take the purge i wish you luck and take it one day at a time or one minute at a time

Missy
when in stress wear a dress

[curse within]

I wish you the best of luck...Here, sometime in the next few weeks I to will be quiting for the 1031st time ..

[KarenSusan]

Good luck. I hope it can work for you.

[Katelyn]

Good Luck. I hope you're sucessful in your ambitions. Just remember though that we're here for you no matter what and our arms will always be open if one day you do come back. :hugs:

[shesadvl]

[QUOTE=jruiz;1689526]I decided to quit crossdressing.

Good Luck jruiz, always remember even though you are a male... who is very intouch with His feminine side and there is nothing wrong with that, dressed or undressed...its another quality. All the best of wishes:battingeyelashes:

[Sherry-Stephanie]

hey you came here...and that's cool...you tried dressing and at this point intime you think it's not for you..as they say better to have loved and lost than to enver had love....

Yes marriges can suffer from CDing....my wife knew about my ideas before I put on my first pair of panties....because I went to her with my ideas....and she has helped me and worked with me...but it's a balancing act of sorts...I'm one of the fortunate ones who's wife is OK with it....

Wish you the best...not luck because this isn't about luck..this is about what is best for you.....

Stephanie...

[deja true]

I'll wish you luck, hun!

It's a courageous thing you're attempting.

And,you're right, being in possession of clothes or all the other foofaraw is not really the basis of how you know you feel. I think it's perfectly possible for you to stop dressing...

And if it's helped you recognize yourself, then it's all been worth it, hasn't it?

I've seen it here scores of times, and I've said it myself: It's not really about the clothes!

Good Luck again, dear one!

:)

[DaphneGrey]

The best of luck.. My thoughts and prayers...

We are who we choose to be..

I am not sure why but when we talk about the motivations for crossdressing we say it is different for everyone, no two are alike etc etc etc. but tend to be emphatic about saying it is impossible to quit. Why is that? It is because we tried and failed.

As much as I love "Being Daphne" I will have to say it would be nice if she just went away... Yes I am out , have an understanding wife who gives me freedom and her blessing, friends, I consider myself very lucky... Even so I am terrified of how my bi gender life can affect the people I love.

Perhaps the reason I failed at quitting was because the motivations were wrong, Running from our desire because we are afraid of our femm side and loosing control in the end "Binging and Purging" is one thing and never successful.

On the other hand choosing to grow and trying to change when the motivation is love of family, and being happy with yourself as a guy, that sounds like a great approach to me!

I have no intention of quitting mind you, but I think it is possible because all things are! Some are harder some are unlikely and others enter the realm of miracles. But nothing is impossible.

Crossdressing is an important part of my life I will not deny, but it is not the be all and end all of who I am. I am a man, husband, father, son, brother, who the people I love depend on. I would like to think at some point if need be, I could find the strength within me needed to stop.

I find your decision to be very selfless and I want you to be successful! Success is liking the person who smiles back at you in the mirror, doesn't really matter what you wear.

Yours Truly

[Jennifer Brooks]

Best of luck. To me some of the reasons seem reasonable and are very personal to you. I hope everything works out. You don't need stress in your life and being a CD has plenty of that. Big hugs to you from now to forever.

[TxKimberly]

I wish you the very best!

[silkandsatincd]

If you think giving up your feminine side is the right thing to do, then that's what you should do, and I wish you well. Maybe you can find other ways to express yourself that are just as rewarding.

But please remember, if you are having trouble, come back to this support group to help get your thoughts back together.

And if you feel over time that you want to revisit exploring your feminine side, don't beat yourself up. We can change our habits, but if we repress our feelings, they will usually find a way to resurface, sometimes stronger than before.

Best Wishes.

[Presh GG]

MY HUSBAND OUIT ONCE, FOR @ 2 YEARS I THINK.
I REMEMBER ONLY HOW SAD, DISTANT , DIFFERANT HE WAS. I'M GLAD HE'S BACK.

[B][COLOR="Red"]ALL THE VERY BEST TO YOU
BLESSINGS, springtime gg

remember the one she married is the one she loves

[ssandy]

Hi, I will pray for you and wish you success...If it doesn't work try keeping things very personal and at a very low key...wishing you success...Sandy

[sissystephanie]

Okay, good luck :)

Hey! How about staying here on the forum and telling us how it goes? Keep in touch and carry on being a friend. :)

Sarah xxx

Sorry Sarah, this is very bad advice! If anyone is going to quit being a crossdresser, they need to stay completely away from anything remotely connected to CD'ing. The above advice is like telling an alcoholic to drop by the local bar to tell the people how well he is doing trying to stay sober!! That won't work.

Unlike what some people seem to believe, you can stop!! If the desire and will are there, it can be accomplished. I know, because I did it!

A number of years ago, long before my wife passed away, I did totally quit being a crossdresser. There were a number of reasons, but primarily the same ones as enumerated at the beginning of this thread. My wife, who had supported my CD'ing since before our wedding, went along with my decision. Although she did say it made her sad to see Stephanie go, as all my feminine things were packed up and given to charity! That was some write-off!!

Five years later, my wife literally begged me to start dressing again. She said she really missed all the fun we had together as two girls!!:):) Loving her like I did, and still do, I said I would. I never have dressed for sexual gratification! I only dressed because I like the fit, feel, and look of feminine clothing. That is the sole reason why I dress! Even though I had quit I never lost that thought. In fact, I picked out most of my wife's clothes because she liked my taste better than hers!

So go for it, and may the Good Fairy smile upon you and make your wish come true!

:hugs::hugs:

[Myst]

Good luck... "you gotta do what you gotta do" as the saying goes, and if this is the right decision for you, then I wish you succees.

[jruiz]

Thank you all!!! It's really touching all your support. I really appreciate. I will have all of you in my prayers.

I agree with Stephanie. I'm only coming back to the forum to check this only thread, maybe for a couple of additional days. I will probably come back in six months to report about how has it been. But looking your beautiful pictures or reading your interesting posts will not help me much to quit :)

Again, thank you all!!! You are great, and I really wish a very happy life to all of you!!!

:love::love::love::love:

[sissystephanie]

I know all of us wish you the very best, and sure, we would like to know how you are doing. But I for one would beg you not to come back in six months, or ever! If you really truly wish to stop!! Looking at the Forum will only make it that much harder! Don't tempt yourself until you are certain that you will never again put on pair of panties, etc. You will always be in my prayers.

:hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Ralph]

I'm behind you all the way! I'm very proud of you for putting your family - and God - first. If anyone around here has a problem with that, I'll whup 'em good.

ralph

[Emily01]

you can do it! i say go forth and live well. best of luck to you. i'd suggest turning all your energies into the other things in life that you have a passion for.....stay busy....stay away from temptation too - sadly that might mean this place - but if it's for the good so be it. be well.

[crusadergirl]

i will wish you the best of luck but your going to need more then luck

[TJ Tresa]

I wish you the beast of luck and will pray for you. I've quit several times over the years, and now with the support of a loving wife I fully embrace it.
Helpful hint - Try to stay away from your wife's intimate clothing.
Again best of luck. TJ Tresa.
ps. please keep in touch here in the forum. (unless you feel it makes temptation too great, or something like that.)

[bimini1]

If deep in your heart you really want to do it , it may be easier than you think. May happen naturally.

My experience is with anything someone will not stop until they are truly ready to do so, not because someone else puts pressure on them to stop but because they themselves want to stop.

It's like a addict who is forced into rehab by family or friends. They get out and not long afterwards are back into the same old "bag". But if they get to a point where they want to get clean, it can be accomplished. And it won't be as hard as they thought because there is some incredible inner strength in there that takes care of it.

I think that is why I have never been able to give this up. My mom hated it and I would burn clothes up. But it wasn't because I wanted to quit. It was because she wanted me to quit. I could say it was me that wanted to stop and try to delude myself into thinking that was true, but the proof that it wasn't was I've continued to dress.

Once you get to a point where it reallly is something that you want to do for yourself and no one else I beleive you can do it. You seemed to have reached that point, I have not.
Good luck!!

[Angie G]

Good luck hun If you don't make it you know where we are.:hugs:
Angie

[Raychel]

I wish you the best of luck. You have made a wise choice. Family should always come first. Although this will be a very hard road for you. If you need support we will be here for you.

Good Luck.

[Christine1953]

Best of luck. It's a very difficult decision which i've been thinking of doing also. god bless you. I am glad what ever your problem you had worked out for you. Christine

[TGMarla]

I also wish you good luck.

Best wishes.

[Kelsy]

Best of luck!! Please mark your path so that those here that might desire to escape can follow you out!!!

Kelsy

[Veronica Lacey]

Sincerest hope that you attain what you seek in a balanced life. I have no real advice to offer except that you consider your thoughts as you live towards your goal.

Even if you remember and relive the desire to dress for whatever reasons - and still choose not to - it will not make you a failure. You are simply reminiscing about something you enjoyed but made a choice not to pursue for good reasons. Kind of like all those old girlfriends from the past, yes? :)

[kristinacd55]

Good luck sweetie, do I think you'll be successful? Nah, crossdressing never goes away! It'll always be lurking in the back of your mind ready to spring to life!

[Debra Jane]

I wish you all the best with it too, and remember God created CDer's and God will not punish you, just pray for love & guidance and above all do not punish yourself.

I have tried many times to live without dressing sometimes the desire stays submerged for a couple of years or more, then something will click in your psyche and you are back in the pink fog very quickly.

That will be the time you will need to confront yourself about which way you wish to go.

Please come back if or when that happens and I'm sure you find many very understanding souls here who will help you.

[Pamela Julie]

I wish you success on your mission. You can still come back here for support and encouragement on your attempt to quit, or if you decide to return to crossdressing. You may be able to work out some middle ground if quitting proves to be impossible, we may be able to help there as well.

Pamela:)

[victoriamwilliams1]

I wish you much success:)

[Jonianne]

If you need to do this to serve God, your family and yourself the best, then you can do it. Like Paul in the Bible, priests and ministers who give up normal healthy human needs, like marriage, sex and a more comfortable life, to do service for your family, God will give you strength to go on in faith. You are supported here, no matter what.

[Kaz]

I have read and really thought about your statements and really do wish you the best.

I completely understand where you are coming from and can empathise.

If you still get those feelings though, don't regard it as failure... it really doesn't work like that. What you are doing is suppressing something, so it will bubble up every now and again.

I would advise that you stay aware of this potential "pull", accept what may happen, and hang in with what you want to do.

We will always be here for support or advise if you need a lifeline...

Good Luck

:hugs:

[trannie T]

I am amazed at the self loathing evident in the posts on this thread. In the original post a promise was made to God to quit as if there is something wrong with being a crossdresser. While we do not know what causes us to be crossdressers we do know that crossdressing is not evil we are not bad persons because we are attracted to womens clothing.

There is nothing wrong with crossdressing. There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser.

[Sophie A Walker]

While I honestly wish you luck, I have been through many purges, none of which worked, and I regret every last one of them now, I hope you have a better experience.

My longest spell not dressing only happened because my wife and children know I dress. I had a masculine phase lasting almost three years, probably because I wasn't having to pretend I was something I wasn't, untill the urge popped back into my life, for no reason I can readily identify.

In the years before, purges were always followed by a brief period of resolve, then frustration at the returning impulse, then the just one pair of shoes, then the flamboyant shirt that no one would notice ws quite fem, then the fem jeans that no one would notice cos they zipped up on the right side... and then... and then... I think that you are setting yourself up for a big fall in the long run.

But good luck all the same.

[jruiz]

I just want to clarify: making a promise to God does not imply that I think that crossdressing per se is wrong (look in the religion discussion section, I posted about it a while ago). It's just clothes.

I could have promised God to sing the National Anthem in public, to quit watching TV or any other thing. I decided to quit crossdressing, because I think it's not making me happy and it's not doing any good particularly to me. And because worthy promises are the difficult ones.

Well, this is my last day in the forum. I want to thank you all for your support. It's really touching, and I heartily appreciate all your kind words.

I want also to thank to all of you who sent me personal messages :love:

And for those who left your emails, I wish I could keep in touch with you, but the email I use for my female persona will not be used any longer either.

Thanks, good luck and blessings for all of you!!!

[mishelle379]

I decided to quit crossdressing.

I know that many of you think that it's not possible, and of course this is not the most popular comment in a crossdressing forum. But I will try.

I will try to number my reasons:

- I had a hard family situation that made me realize that my family is the most important thing in my entire world, and that anything, including crossdressing, will top my family in priority and that my family deserves more of my time and energy.
- I made a promise to God that if this situation was solved, I was going to try to quit crossdressing.
- I'm also not willing to destroy my marriage or the image my kids have about me in case I make a mistake and get caught. And something I've learned from this forum is that getting caught is just a matter of time. Actually, this forum has helped me to take the decision. Too many stories of struggled marriages and distress.
- I'm too stressed about keeping my things hidden. I've already purged, including one particular item that was very important to me (Veronica II).
- The pink fog has been fading lately. I think that I was able to see myself and not just through my "pink eyeglasses", and understand that I will ever look as a guy. Actually, pictures of some girls here (even the best looking ones), made me realize that looking feminine is just an illusion and an act of self-confidence.
- I'm kind of appreciating more my male side. I'm feeling more confident and adequate as a male, and sometimes I feel phony or silly when I dresses

I know it's not going to be easy. I'm asking you to please wish me good luck, and to pray for me if you believe in God.

Maybe I will fail, but I'd really like to try it very hard this time. But I will try not to fail.

Thanks, and good luck!!!

its imprtant for u to do what makes u happy, as, if u r happy, the ones around u will also be happy

[Jolene]

I decided to quit crossdressing.

I know that many of you think that it's not possible, and of course this is not the most popular comment in a crossdressing forum. But I will try.

I will try to number my reasons:

- I had a hard family situation that made me realize that my family is the most important thing in my entire world, and that anything, including crossdressing, will top my family in priority and that my family deserves more of my time and energy.
- I made a promise to God that if this situation was solved, I was going to try to quit crossdressing.
- I'm also not willing to destroy my marriage or the image my kids have about me in case I make a mistake and get caught. And something I've learned from this forum is that getting caught is just a matter of time. Actually, this forum has helped me to take the decision. Too many stories of struggled marriages and distress.
- I'm too stressed about keeping my things hidden. I've already purged, including one particular item that was very important to me (Veronica II).
- The pink fog has been fading lately. I think that I was able to see myself and not just through my "pink eyeglasses", and understand that I will ever look as a guy. Actually, pictures of some girls here (even the best looking ones), made me realize that looking feminine is just an illusion and an act of self-confidence.
- I'm kind of appreciating more my male side. I'm feeling more confident and adequate as a male, and sometimes I feel phony or silly when I dresses

I know it's not going to be easy. I'm asking you to please wish me good luck, and to pray for me if you believe in God.

Maybe I will fail, but I'd really like to try it very hard this time. But I will try not to fail.

Thanks, and good luck!!!

I wish you the best of luck in your situation. I can only try to imagine a marrage and kids and having the need to dress. I live alone here and I am single. It is easier for me in this way but I do wonder sometimes why I am like this and have this need and what would happen if my family knew. This site helps me so much reading about others and their experences. Maybe you could store your things away for a time and see if it does go away.

Good Luck and keep us informed about yourself. :)

[Nadia-Maria]

YES YOU CAN !! :love:

I'm very confident in the fact that some people are strong-willed enough and motivated enough to quit crossdressing.

As a rule, people who fail to succeed aren't motivated enough to quit. And it is easy to understand them because CDing is so fun !! :devil:

The problem is people having quitted CDing are no more on any CD forum, so that we never know who has ever succeeded.

I would need statistics about how many people have quitted CDing, so that I would very pleased if you went on telling us here about you, from time to time.

Or ... if you never come back it would mean you have quitted !?

Good luck ! :hugs:

[Bridget Fitzgerald]

You'll be miserable. I haven't done my Cynthia thing in years. And it sucks.

[Farrah]

I've quit too. For how long, I don't know. Its been a hard journey thus far. I continue to visit the forum, because i don't consider myself 100% quit. I have decided to take one step at a time. I haven't dressed since February 27 of this year. I still look at womens' clothing. I still think their clothes are cute. I compliment a cute skirt when I see one as well. I know its not going away right away, because this has been a part of me for over 25 years. I kinda torn though. SOme days I glad I quit and some days I'm miserable and I'm tempted to go shopping. I hope you succeed, and I will be praying for you!!

[JulieC]

Sorry Sarah, this is very bad advice! If anyone is going to quit being a crossdresser, they need to stay completely away from anything remotely connected to CD'ing. The above advice is like telling an alcoholic to drop by the local bar to tell the people how well he is doing trying to stay sober!! That won't work.

The analogy is interesting but I think it fails. This person will constantly be surrounded by women's clothes. He's married. The temptation will be in his face. Whether it's doing laundry, seeing his wife dress/undress, or out shopping...it will always be around him. That's just his wife. He'll also see women from time to time who he'll wish he was dressed like. It's not like alcholism; you can actively avoid alcohol and rarely, if ever, see it in your life if you choose. The only way to avoid women's clothes in this society is to turn yourself into a hermit and live in the mountains somewhere. Coming back to this forum and giving us an update occasionally will be the least cause of temptation.


The problem is people having quitted CDing are no more on any CD forum, so that we never know who has ever succeeded.

And to reverse things and piggy back on the alcoholism analogy above...

Alcoholics are certainly very aware there are people who get on the wagon and stay on it. Yet, we CDers have not a single soul to point to to say "They did it. So can I". There's no success stories out there. With zillions of people on the web blogging about their lives, how come there's nothing out there from a "successful" former crossdresser?

By some estimates there are millions of crossdressers in the U.S. alone. Many of these people experience negative impacts on their lives from CDing. Someone who found a way to permanently stop CDing could write a self help book and make a bundle of money helping other people stop. Yet, such a book does not exist.

It's all too comfortable to say we don't know the success stories because they don't come back here. Reality is we'd still know. And if there was a way to stop CDing, the news would spread like wildfire through this forum. Yes, many of us are happy about being CDers and wouldn't have it any other way. But many of us are NOT happy about it, and would latch onto a method to stop like it was the last shred of food on the planet.

[BekiJ]

Don't shave - anything. Grow a beard. Sure ruins the visuals if nothing else.

I realize it might not work for some.

And take it one day at a time.

Best of luck.
BekiJ

[msginaadoll]

I think I for one would have to permanently break from this forum if I was thinking about trying to stop dressing. And was said I would probably think about a mustache, and make sure my hair grew back. Also I would take up weightlifting and hang around at tractor pulls. Most of all I would keep busy with other areas of life I enjoy. For me that would be music, and playing the guitar. Take lessons, hit open mics, etc.

[Tal'Aura]

Nah, I will rather shoot myself in the head than quitting to be who I am. Pleasing others and denying yourself is worse than suicide. However, not all people are the same so I respect your decision. You can try to quit but the odds are not on your side.

Jolan Tru

[danacd96]

I know that a lot of girls have experienced the peaks, valleys, and purging from crossdressing. Only time will tell if you will suceed. Having said that I only wish you the best. Good Luck, dana.

[Sally2005]

Have you experienced it before...the decision to stop based on guilt and only ended up with the desire again later? If so, you know you are fooling yourself so don't throw out your cache. The real answer, in my case, seems to be full exploration and self acceptance and then as a result I have discovered the strong desire has sadly mostly gone away. It really is true, some balance is key.

[daviolin]

I just started a new thread on me telling my wife. Its ironick how I read your post right after posting my new thread. I wish I could do what you did, but It just isn't so for me. I don't think I could live happally without Daviolin. I will pray for you that all works out. Best wishes in your new future.:thumbsup:Daviolin

[Cary]

Best of luck to you! You're starting on a hard path. As a crossdress we don't quit, we just take breaks! We may not dress for long periods of time, but it's still in our harts and in the back of our minds till death.

[Veronica75]

Don't let anybody here, or anywhere, tell you you can't quit. You can if you go about it the right way. Some advice:

- It absolutely has to be a choice based on your true, honest desire to quit and not just guilt. If you're quitting for positive reasons, you can succeed. If you're quitting for negative reasons, you will fail.

- When things get tough, focus on the positive reasons why you quit, and monitor your emotions to make sure quitting is not driving you into depression. If you truly value your family, know that they'd rather have you as a happy crossdresser than as a mean-tempered "straight". Only you can know where you are on this, but it's something you need to stay consciously aware of.

- You should be aware that the feelings that led you to CD will probably wane a bit, but not go away entirely. You need to feed these into something else, and that is something you need to figure out for yourself. Maybe it's a little corner of your mind where you can retreat to and be your femme self, in spirit. Maybe it's doing online makeovers. I don't know. But you need somewhere to channel out your feminine feelings when they occur, keeping them bottled inside will not work.

I may not seem like the best source of advice, having just come back to CDing after a long attempt at quitting. A big part of why I'm back at it is that I have the opportunity, which I did not for many years. During that time, I was able to control the urges simply because I had to, which in itself may be advice: Keep yourself so busy that you don't have the time to dress...

[PhillyGuy2Girl]

I wish you the very best on quitting. Family comes above all and if you feel you must quit, great for you. Remember, this is a very supportive group here and if you feel you need to come back just to chat and let us know hoe you are doing,please do.

One more piece of advice, don't purge your femme attire. Just pack it up neatly in a box and store it just in case. It can get expensive to have to buy all new clothing and stuff. Good luck and God Bless you.




Felicity :)

[Annaliese]

Good luck and I hope you make it. Hugs

Annaliese

[AmberDay]

I am amazed at the self loathing evident in the posts on this thread. In the original post a promise was made to God to quit as if there is something wrong with being a crossdresser. While we do not know what causes us to be crossdressers we do know that crossdressing is not evil we are not bad persons because we are attracted to womens clothing.

There is nothing wrong with crossdressing. There is nothing wrong with being a crossdresser.




Couldn't have said it better myself.

--Amber

[LisaM]

Good Luck!!!

I wish you peace and success and I will pray for all that choose this route.

[JulieC]

Don't let anybody here, or anywhere, tell you you can't quit. You can if you go about it the right way.

I would be the first to jump and say "YES! You CAN quit, and here's how!" if there were in fact any success stories out there that paved the way to success. I'm not saying since no one succeeded, nobody ever will. But, since millions of CDers have been CDers and there's no success stories out there, the odds are worse than a million to one.

The reality; even if you do not dress, you're still a CDer. If you're still a CDer, and attempting to repress it, there's very real increased psychological danger. I can not and will not recommend that anyone attempt to repress crossdressing as a means to an end. The risk is real. Far less dangerous is to keep it hidden from your wife somehow, and do a damn good job of it if you must. Though, I hate that solution too. It's at least better than trying to repress it. In my opinion, repression is the worst possible "solution" to crossdressing.



Keep yourself so busy that you don't have the time to dress...

This could be dangerous for reasons unrelated to crossdressing. If you keep yourself so busy in your life that you lack the time to even contemplate, you may find life slipping past you with zero self actualization. You may end up very, very sad and remorseful over the years that zipped by without a conscious though to happiness.


One more piece of advice, don't purge your femme attire. Just pack it up neatly in a box and store it just in case. It can get expensive to have to buy all new clothing and stuff.

In Jruiz's case, I don't think there's a choice. Part of the motivation to quit is to escape discovery (a negative reason, see other posts above about the chance of success based on a negative reason). If the femme stash is boxed up and put somewhere, there's a chance it can be discovered. Happens all the time.

[jackieo]

I hope every thing go's well and I wish you the best.
jackieo:doll:

[Sam-antha]

Wishing you the very best, do let us know how it goes.
~Samm

PS Are you sure that you want to keep it like you said ?
~S~

[KarenCDFL]

I wish you well and hope you get what you want out of this.

My only question is why is this kind of "LOVE" always so one sided? You have to give up a part of yourself so others in your family won't be put off by who you are.

That is not love, it is self sacrifice. If it were true love then a compromise could be found and all would be happy. Just my two cents...

All the Best.

[pattipurge]

That is not love, it is self sacrifice. If it were true love then a compromise could be found and all would be happy. Just my two cents...All the Best.
you can call it whatever. sometimes self sacrifice is the right thing to do. just remember all cd's have their own thoughts & opinions on this situation.