In love with an idea?

[Kate Simmons]

In my series of threads about trying to understand some motivations for CDing I've gotten some interesting replies. It occurred to me, however, that it may be possible that some are attracted to(and possibly in love with) the idea of looking like, acting like or even being a woman, even though they know it can never be really possible. This may explain the driving need for some to emulate all facets of what they think being a woman might be like. I know I had similar feelings early on in my CDing "career". and a lot of effort was put forth by myself to attain what I though was being the perfect female.

Turns out that there is no such "animal", never was, never will be, just as there is no such thing as a perfect male inasmuch that hopeful gals keep seraching for one.:heehee:. What I discovered after getting in touch with my feelings (which was my real motivation) was that everyone is an individual whether male, female or somewhere in-between so therafter I concentrated on getting in touch with and balancing my feelings and getting to know others and appreciating them for who they are. It's really about people rather than ideas.We can consume a lot of time, energy and resources pursuing an idea or concept we have but sometimes the simplest concepts are the hardest to understand.:)

[Kaylee 85]

An idea is a powerful thing though, and put into a capable head any idea can become reality. Over time your idea can become a driving and powerful force and it can either sweep you away or take you to new hights, it's really up to you.

“An idea that is developed and put into action is more important than an idea that exists only as an idea.”
~Buddha

[sandra-leigh]

It occurred to me, however, that it may be possible that some are attracted to(and possibly in love with) the idea of looking like, acting like or even being a woman, even though they know it can never be really possible.

"autogynophilia" is the current term being used for that. And it's being pushed as the explanation of the majority of cross-dressing. Being pushed by some of the people in charge of re-writing the appropriate section of the US official list of mental health problems -- the very official book that determines whether you can get medical treatment, who pays for it, and so on. As in gender dysphoria would (mostly) be declared to no longer be real, and instead cross-dressers would be treated as needing to be cured of what would be considered a species of narcissism. e.g., in order to get anything like HRT or GRS, you'd probably pretty much have to prove that you had one of the recognized genetic intersexed conditions.

Yes, this does mean that the appropriate section of the mental health manual is likely to be re-written by someone who believes that cross-dressers can be "cured". You know, just like the old theory that homosexuality can be "cured" (a theory that was, incidentally, receiving funding from the Bush administration via the "Faith Based Initiatives" department.)

For more information, search out some of the Media section postings, especially by battybattybats.

[curse within]

It is funny to me you bring such thoughts up , I too think about this disorder ( IMO ) and why I have it. I know I am not Gay.. (not that anything is wrong with it ). But it has been and is a big misunderstanding tied to crossdressing.

Gay men do not find fem things attractive from what I understand although some gay men do crossdress. Which leads me to this subject that some gay men are only attracted to straight males? That may explain the crossdressing on their behalf.

We have threaded conversations about Gene defects and was my theroy prior to coming here ,was why I dressed.. Hormones have taken some blame but have never been proven to be the source anymore than being born with a female brain.

We know through human history that Transgender has made appearances and it is not something that is just found in the western societys today only its everywhere.

Maybe in time the true answer will be dicovered but will it still not be accepted by soceity if the answers are found:sad:.. I think we all want the answer but are we prepared to live with them would we be able to face an accepting world ? Could we if the facts of why we do it step out of the closet and be what we where born to be and live an open life with it?

I don't think I could..

[kellycan27]

They all seem to have a common theme. It's like you have some sort of problem with the femininity aspect of it. you can't be an actual woman, "fruity", "pansy like". That's you...... so what? There are many of us that do wish to be as womanly as possible, and there are those of us who do it quite well. Personally I for one,being transexual... don't get the the crossdressing thing, but I don't question the motives of the crossdresser.. Different stroke for different folks.
Why do you crossdress? To get in touch with your female side? Well maybe others do to, but just take it steps further. You just like the clothes? maybe the same for others. Might it just be a case of sour grapes... in that others can do it better, and so might you envy them just a bit or a lot? Your subtle way of putting some of us down isn't lost on me, but I just consider the source.. A guy in a dress..saying things like "fruity" and "pansy like"... questioning my motives...:lol:

[Karren H]

I think you over think these things.... maybe we just like to look pretty? At least I do....

[GaleWarning]

And I simply love to wear women's clothes, especially stockings and heels.
Took me a wee while to reach that conclusion, though ...

[rickie121x]

I think you over think these things.... maybe we just like to look pretty? At least I do.... I am one notch more mature than most of us... here at this forum, and I really don't think about it all very much anymore. It's just the way I am. I am occasionally more interested and involved in my crossdressing than at other times, and then I read and check up on styles and available shoes :battingeyelashes: and research about hormones. No big deal, it all just comes and goes.

But I do love this forum - it seems that I find a serenity and ease while I am here. Nice :daydreaming:


They all seem to have a common theme. It's like you have some sort of problem with the femininity aspect of it. you can't be an actual woman, "fruity", "pansy like". That's you...... so what? There are many of us that do wish to be as womanly as possible, and there are those of us who do it quite well. Personally I for one,being transexual... don't get the the crossdressing thing, but I don't question the motives of the crossdresser.. Different stroke for different folks.
Why do you crossdress? To get in touch with your female side? Well maybe others do to, but just take it steps further. You just like the clothes? maybe the same for others. Might it just be a case of sour grapes... in that others can do it better, and so might you envy them just a bit or a lot? Your subtle way of putting some of us down isn't lost on me, but I just consider the source.. A guy in a dress..saying things like "fruity" and "pansy like"... questioning my motives...:lol: Kelly - you write as if you were a girl. :battingeyelashes: That's a compliment! :)

[Kaylee 85]

"autogynophilia" is the current term being used for that. And it's being pushed as the explanation of the majority of cross-dressing. Being pushed by some of the people in charge of re-writing the appropriate section of the US official list of mental health problems -- the very official book that determines whether you can get medical treatment, who pays for it, and so on. As in gender dysphoria would (mostly) be declared to no longer be real, and instead cross-dressers would be treated as needing to be cured of what would be considered a species of narcissism. e.g., in order to get anything like HRT or GRS, you'd probably pretty much have to prove that you had one of the recognized genetic intersexed conditions.

Yes, this does mean that the appropriate section of the mental health manual is likely to be re-written by someone who believes that cross-dressers can be "cured". You know, just like the old theory that homosexuality can be "cured" (a theory that was, incidentally, receiving funding from the Bush administration via the "Faith Based Initiatives" department.)

For more information, search out some of the Media section postings, especially by battybattybats.

Gweh?! What the hell makes someone belive that if someone thinks or acts differently than themselves they're sick? Can I start getting funding to "cure" them into being gay?

Also:
Curse within, you stated that "Gay men do not find fem things attractive from what I understand although some gay men do crossdress. Which leads me to this subject that some gay men are only attracted to straight males? That may explain the crossdressing on their behalf."

As a gay crossdresser I'm a bit offended. I'm not doing it to attract streight guys, I'm doing it because it's who I am. I'm not a woman inside, I'm not attracting a mate, I'm just a guy in a dress who happens to look very good in it. <3

[Sam-antha]

I have many clothes styles, chosen to suit my mood or activies. This goes as much for my minis as for my bike gear or my male-wear. I dress either as I feel or as I can.

~Samm

[kellycan27]

Thank you, and i did take it as a compliment, and I am a girl.
Kel

[beenherelongtime]

I read this post and I come up with "HuH"? What are you saying? Words seem to go in circles without any real conclusion. I would say we are all different people. This doesn't mean that some of our underlying reasons for crossdressing are not the same. I know I have had the desire to be a woman in my past, not to be made love to by a man but to wear the sensous and beautiful clothes that woman do. I also would like to look like the women I adore. Each of us have our own idea of what this is.

Now in my later years, I don't have the same fantasies that I had when I was younger.

Getting older, I can not write too long without my mind wandering. So: so long for now.

[Miranda09]

I think, for me anyway, that my CDing has alot to do with trying to understand women, and not be so afraid of letting my emotions out. My feminine alter-ego, if you will, allows me to do just that...even without dressing up. Actually, if more men took the time to experience what it's like to be a women in todays society, we might have a very different social structure....one that wold be a vast improvement over many aspects of todays culture. For me, it's not enough to just dress in womens clothing, but to see if I can actually pass as a woman. Soon, I'll post a few picks so you can tell me how I'm doing!! Oh, and let's not forget dressing as a women feels greaaaaaaatttttttt!!!!!!!!!!!

[Deedee Dupree]

I gave you the benefit of the doubt for a long time. Now, I'm not sure you are entirely for real. YOU SEEM TO HAVE A PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE WHO CAN EXPRESS THEMSELVES MORE ARTISTICLY THAN YOU APPEAR TO UNDERSTAND, AND YOU SEEM TO NEED SOME KIND OF APPROVAL FOR YOUR POINT OF VIEW.

I had access to most of my emotions & feelings since I was a teenager. the problem was breaking the chain of conditioning preventing the possibility of becomming more human. Took a long time to recognise and reintegate. It's something you talk about a lot, but you may not be as "advanced" as you think you are. And then you write about you're some kind of re-incarnated queen from the past who is in touch with aliens who are preventing the earth from ecological distruction, I have to wonder despite the many points you bring up I totally agree with.

[Kate Simmons]

Interesting Deedee, someone actually does pay attention. The best(and most honest) replies it seems are those generated after placing a burr under the saddle. Go figure.

[curse within]

As someone who has spent years trying to rid the burden of something I will never understand ( if born female probably still wouldn't understand ). Years of searching for answers for ..Why?

I would venture to sucpect Aliens could have entered my brain and re wired me on some expeirment. ( I never did but I am desperate ):devil:.. Or a lost female sole or spirt is sharing my body..( Hey like I said I am desperate ).:eek:

Everyone reaches out for a reason can't we just along:D

[Pamela Julie]

I feel like I have achieved the perfect female appearance when someone looking at me sees a woman, not a man in a dress. I don't have to be gorgeous, or even attractive. I just don't want to look ugly, or like a man in a dress. I would prefer to look beautiful like any woman would, and I have to go to further lengths to achieve that goal. I am not there quite yet.

Pamela:)

[Kate Simmons]

I think you over think these things.... maybe we just like to look pretty? At least I do....Understood Karren. My heart tends to agree with you but my brain makes me work for it.:)

[Deedee Dupree]

Interesting Deedee, someone actually does pay attention. The best(and most honest) replies it seems are those generated after placing a burr under the saddle. Go figure.

Yes, I pay attention. Burr under the saddle?, Well if that's what you're doing... far too little of that here. dd

[Sophie A Walker]

The Why of CDing or of TS TG TV Gender Dysphoria ect is problematic to me. The autogynaphilia thing cited somewhere above is a case in point, originally used to define 'older' transexuals not CD's. (Blanchard I think?)

There is a natural bias in the medical profession and Psychology to find cause and cure, or at least treatment. Treatment for distress related to gender crossing, and treatment to cross gender boundaries requires medical expertese, and there is an assumption that if medical help is required then it must be a disease. The argument then loops back to eradicating cause and curing those exposed to the toxin.

Gender crossing doesn't quite fit this model, I don't want to be cured, I like it. I don't like the social reaction it sometimes gets but I want to change that not what made me who I am.

The search for cause in the medical model often becomes simplistic:

A leads to B.

The problem from a bio/social/psychological point of view is that,

A B C D E and F can lead to G H I J K L and M.

Autogynaphilia as a theory is useless, as it describes one symptom experienced by some people sometimes. It doesn't adequately explain why I continued to dress as a girl whenever I could, at the age of six after I was told that I couldn't play dress up with my sisters any more because it worried my dad.

Some people who cross dress might be 'in love' with the idea of being a woman, some might just feel more comfortable dressed, others might dress because it arouses them, some because they feel like a girl and always have, and others for other reasons.

Prehaps we all want to belong, and want others to be the way they are, for the same reasons we are the way we are, but shouldn't we be careful to recognise that there are lots of different ways of being and lots of different reasons for being the way we are.

[Carin]

I happen to believe in Gender, as a distinct abstract psychological phenomenon.

It is too easy to write off transgender as a confused state of seeking the ideal female form. That concept is trying to put transgender back in the box. That is the viewpoint held by Bailey and Blanchard et al with their "autogynophilia". (Further rant on this topic suppressed). I don't fault anyone for not understanding transgender, but is is narrow-minded to force it (especially by so-called experts) into established concepts.

Take transgender outside the box. Separate gender from being attached specifically to man or woman. That does not negate its existence and strong influence in each of us.

... some are attracted to (and possibly in love with) the idea of looking like, acting like or even being a woman, even though they know it can never be really possible. This may explain the driving need for some to emulate all facets of what they think being a woman might be like. ....

It makes more sense (using the membership of this site as a sample) that seeking the ideal female form is but one form of expression of transgender. There are many here - me included - that do not aim for the idealized woman representation, but rather aim for an expression that fits their own psychologically.



What I discovered after getting in touch with my feelings (which was my real motivation) was that everyone is an individual whether male, female or somewhere in-between so thereafter I concentrated on getting in touch with and balancing my feelings and getting to know others and appreciating them for who they are. It's really about people rather than ideas.We can consume a lot of time, energy and resources pursuing an idea or concept we have ...

Getting in touch with ones feelings and finding one's own balance and uniqueness, does not negate the existence of gender, or the need or instinct to express that wherever it falls on the transgender spectrum.

[Tammy298]

Although I do have an interest in dressing and looking more like a woman, I don't think those desires are rooted any differently than my current experiences. Due mostly to my family, I'm somewhat limited to either underdressing or dressing for bed/play at night. As far as underdressing, panties are much more comfortable than men's "things":eek:, and stockings just feel soooo good any time of day or night!:D
I've always liked stockings, whether on pinups photo or on my SO, so wearing them myself, makes ME feel special, erotic and sensual. Does that make me want to feel like a woman? I'm not really sure about that since are those kinds of feelings limited to women? Do having those feelings mean that a guy wants to be a woman? If a man likes silky things against his body or have stockings encase his legs, does that make him any less a man? Why do women like to wear stockings? Just to attarct a man, or do they also like the way they feel??
I like being a man. But I and my wife like seeing and the feel of me in lingerie and women's clothes. I guess what I'm trying to get to, is that women's clothes are meant to look and feel sexy, men's clothes aren't. So should I feel like this in any way makes me desire or wish I was a women? I don't! I believe I am fortunate enough and open minded enough to appreciate much more than than society limits the typical male too: drabs! I think we all here aren't at all strange or weird, as I once believed I was, but that we are all very fortunate, gifted and openminded!:)

[Miranda09]

Although I do have an interest in dressing and looking more like a woman, I don't think those desires are rooted any differently than my current experiences. Due mostly to my family, I'm somewhat limited to either underdressing or dressing for bed/play at night. As far as underdressing, panties are much more comfortable than men's "things":eek:, and stockings just feel soooo good any time of day or night!:D
I've always liked stockings, whether on pinups photo or on my SO, so wearing them myself, makes ME feel special, erotic and sensual. Does that make me want to feel like a woman? I'm not really sure about that since are those kinds of feelings limited to women? Do having those feelings mean that a guy wants to be a woman? If a man likes silky things against his body or have stockings encase his legs, does that make him any less a man? Why do women like to wear stockings? Just to attarct a man, or do they also like the way they feel??
I like being a man. But I and my wife like seeing and the feel of me in lingerie and women's clothes. I guess what I'm trying to get to, is that women's clothes are meant to look and feel sexy, men's clothes aren't. So should I feel like this in any way makes me desire or wish I was a women? I don't! I believe I am fortunate enough and open minded enough to appreciate much more than than society limits the typical male too: drabs! I think we all here aren't at all strange or weird, as I once believed I was, but that we are all very fortunate, gifted and openminded!:)

I agree with you Tammy.....

[kellycan27]

Although I do have an interest in dressing and looking more like a woman, I don't think those desires are rooted any differently than my current experiences. Due mostly to my family, I'm somewhat limited to either underdressing or dressing for bed/play at night.
!:)

Let's say that you didn't have those "limitations" ? Might you desire to ratchet it up a notch or two? You have self imposed limitations ( for good reason) Have you set the depth of the "roots" to coinside with your imposed limitations? Like saying... ok, this is how far I can go because..so I am content. Just curious.
Kelly

[Samantha B L]

Arianna,your observations and ruminations are always interesting and lots of times I learn a thing or two from them. In fact, you're the wise old lady by the mantle! But mostly,I think we all do this because "girls just want to have fun".



:hugs: :love: :thumbsup:

[curse within]

Could it be lonleyness , depression mis understood and too much time on her hands, to let her mind wonder?

I am sure that whatever it is that if I or anyone else here was suffering from it ,she would be there for us without question..

Sometimes it easy to point and laugh at others thoughts or gesters without catching the slightest hint, it could be a way for them to reach out for help..

I've learned my lesson to not be so judgemental we all live in glass houses and sure as hell don't like it when it happens to us. Lifes to short to be little those who are only quilty of their own suggestions and theroys without offending any one person.

Sorry but I see someone who may, just may, want help not riddiculed. I don't know I am sorta still new here and step out of my place if any but the last thing I will ever put up with is someone in their own way trying to help other be smashed over it..

[curse within]

Sorry Pink ,

Like I suggested I maybe out of place but I just can't stand by and read it..

Would it be fair to say that this is a supportive site and even though you see offense some may understand and relate..We are all different , heck just look at all the topics that go through this place .. I may not see the offense and for that I am sorry but even so is it a effort meaningless to start bashing..

[Sophie A Walker]

I wouldn't say offended, a little bemused prehaps. It seems as if she may be trying on labels to see if one fits.

Personaly I seem to fit a lot of different labels so I might try more than one on at a time.

[curse within]

Sophie, I agree I feel she may be reaching out , and Pink I am sorry it wasn't just you very sorry..

I think she is digging and in no way trying to offend maybe support or a pleasent way of disagreeing :D

[Sherlyn]

Instead of guessing what.. and bantering over what Arianna is looking for at this point in the thread ..How bout we wait and let her explain

[Berinthia]

When it comes to women, men have no clue, don't kid yourself. Ask Freud. Reality and budgets are just tiny parts of a TRUTH where hopes and dreams, chance, agendas, wants and needs lead the parade. Luck is real if you're pretty. If you marry a Beatle, you EARN 500 million dollars. You go to college to meet a rich man. If you're Barbie, you marry Ken and live happily ever after.
I caught alot of heat for saying women should be slapped around every once in a while. Women are vain ugly creatures. If you love your woman don't forget that.
PS, I'm not condoning violence. Woman need to be treated like princesses, given expensive presents, women need love, more than men. You guys that lie to your wives don't get it. They really need your truth more than anything.

[NicoleScott]

I've read a lot of your posts and others' replies to them. I see that I'm not the only one who detects a bit of put-down from you because we're not in touch with our feelings to the extent that you claim to be. And, if we were, we wouldn't need to pursue the full femme looks and actions, enhancements, passing, and other such such things as you have moved beyond. I don't see other people criticizing you for how you choose to manifest your personal crossdressing desires. Personally, throwing on a dress and wig just doesn't do it for me; I need the whole shebang. If you want to put on a dress and forego the enhancements, I won't take issue with you on that, but I do on the over-anaylsis and judgement.
As you said, "...sometimes the simplest concepts are the hardest to understand." I dress and makeup as I do because I like it. It's a simple concept and shouldn't be hard to understand.

[Tammy298]

Let's say that you didn't have those "limitations" ? Might you desire to ratchet it up a notch or two? You have self imposed limitations ( for good reason) Have you set the depth of the "roots" to coinside with your imposed limitations? Like saying... ok, this is how far I can go because..so I am content. Just curious.
Kelly

I'm not sure what you are really asking, but sure, I would like to be able to do more. If my wife and I get away together, I probably will push the envelope, dressing all the way with a wig, makeup... everything! It's part of who I am, that I like a lot of different things, whether it be the many different more traditional hobbies, or music, etc. My interests are not narrowly focused, which includes exploring more sensuous ways of dressing (I.E. women's clothing).
For those that want more out of CDing, all the more power to them and best of luck in their journey! But for me, it's more like tasting fine chocolate, whether I underdress for a day, wear something sexy to bed with or without the intention of "playing around", or get the chance to dress head to toe as a women, they're experiences to be savored! But I'm a man who considers himself very lucky to not feel restricted by societal limits!

[kellycan27]

I'm not sure what you are really asking, but sure, I would like to be able to do more. If my wife and I get away together, I probably will push the envelope, dressing all the way with a wig, makeup... everything! It's part of who I am, that I like a lot of different things, whether it be the many different more traditional hobbies, or music, etc. My interests are not narrowly focused, which includes exploring more sensuous ways of dressing (I.E. women's clothing).
For those that want more out of CDing, all the more power to them and best of luck in their journey! But for me, it's more like tasting fine chocolate, whether I underdress for a day, wear something sexy to bed with or without the intention of "playing around", or get the chance to dress head to toe as a women, they're experiences to be savored! But I'm a man who considers himself very lucky to not feel restricted by societal limits!

I was just curious,because you seem balanced. Happy with what you can do based on those self imposed limits..in consideration for your circumstance.
"Sure I'd to more", answered my question. Nothing more to it than that. Thanks.

[MissConstrued]

it may be possible that some are attracted to(and possibly in love with) the idea of looking like, acting like or even being a woman, even though they know it can never be really possible. This may explain the driving need for some to emulate all facets of what they think being a woman might be like.


There may be some truth to that, but frankly, I don't care. I've found that trying to analyze too deeply just drives me nuts. I've termed it "psychiatric paralysis." Too much time wondering "why" results in not enough doing. And besides, why the f*** do I care why I do what I do? No one else does! Does anyone ponder why he likes football or automobile racing? I daresay not.

So I put on my pretty dress, my wig, my makeup, and my heels, and go have a good time. I like to look pretty, and it's fun -- and that's enough for me. No great mystery there, but I'm happy and I know it. (clap, clap.)

Some people are too educated for their own good.

[Satrana]

Gay men do not find fem things attractive from what I understand although some gay men do crossdress. That depends on which part of the world you are talking about. In Asia for example being effeminate and crossdressing is a dominant theme of the gay scene. It just goes to show how much our local environment affects how we think about issues of gender and sexuality.


Maybe in time the true answer will be dicovered but will it still not be accepted by soceity
I just spent a week in Bangkok being 100% enfemme the whole time. I am not remotely passable but was treated normally by all the locals, most of whom gave me big warm smiles without a hint of surprise, shock or disdain. In contrast the hundreds of ex-pat tourists I walked past avoided looking at me or if they did immediately glanced away. Not a single one of them could manage a smile much less a conversation.

So again it is about which culture you live in. There are societies out there which have always been accepting of transgendered people, unlike our Western society which has historically made a virtue out of prejudice and sexism and this is only slowly being beaten back with each new generation. Western society is primitive and backwards with regards to acceptance of differences in others.


think we all here aren't at all strange or weird, as I once believed I was, but that we are all very fortunate, gifted and openminded!

That is the key message IMHO. After believing all our lives how weird we thought we had to be, it turns out that when you accept who you are and what you are, you end up being a normal person who is simply doing something to fulfill a need or desire which Western society has not caught up to yet in terms of understanding and acceptance. It is society that is f**ked up not us.

[Kate Simmons]

Instead of guessing what.. and bantering over what Arianna is looking for at this point in the thread ..How bout we wait and let her explainThanks Sherlyn and you are right. The simplest way to understand what someone is talking about is to ask. That comes from "Acting like a woman 101", wow what a novel concept. This thread has been nothing short of theraputic. Some think I'm panning them or CDing in general by what I said. Simply put, I'm not. I'm just asking questions and putting forth postulations as to what may possibly motivate some of us. I realize everyone is different of course. The other thing is I'm not saying we have to understand why we do it at all if we don't want to. Asking questions, however, is one of the first steps in learning anything. I would not personally be able to move forward if I did not question myself and my motivations. If thinking out loud is a "crime" then I'm guilty as charged.

What really bothers me is that some see the need to jump in and cry "foul" and I have a hard time understanding why. Could it be that some are not as self assured as they may think? Could it be that my questions touched a "nerve" and they are having a hard time getting past that and resolving it? Some have objected to my use of the words "pansy" and "fruity" in previous threads but honestly what real "power" do such words have against someone who is really self assured? By using the words ourselves we de-power them to the point of saying:"So what if someone calls me that, or thinks of me in that way, I know who I am. Their problem, not mine."

Some may say that they just love to dress and don't care why. Fine and dandy, far be it from me to rain on anyone's parade. If, on the other hand, some do want to dig a bit deeper I just want to show it is possible but we need the tools to do it and that the key is understanding ourself and our feelings. This is what worked for me but in no way am I saying I'm any better or worse than anyone else. Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed just going out , having fun and looking pretty for years and there is nothing wrong with that. After a time, however, I realized there was more to it, for me at least. It's really up to each and every one of us how we choose to live our lives and what we do, no one else.:)

[Deedee Dupree]

Well Arianna, I just re-read your thread, and clarification and I think I overreacted initially, missing your point. Heck, from among everyone here, your overall method & conclusions are the closest to my own. It can be easy to lose sight of the bottom line,... as we argue about the "best" way to play the tune. In fact, any interpretation can be a viable alternative if it's played from the heart... This is supposed to be fun after all.

I could say, "I only fight with my friends" but that would be beside the point. The point is, I apologize for my inappropriate comments. dd

P.S. As to your being a reincarnated queen in touch with "them".....(Ooh-Wee-Ooh) who knows for sure?

[Kate Simmons]

Apology accepted of course Deedee but no need for one really. I love all of my friends here for who they are and that includes any criticism or "diagnoses" because I know it's all well intentioned. Besides, how can I claim to be tolerant if I don't accept others' opinions and feelings as their word and honest heart felt expressions? Actually, I was never a "Queen", rather a keeper of archives and portals and as far as to the identity of "them", that's a story for another time ;). Take care.:)

[kellycan27]

I think that if you have been paying any attention at all to the fears of a lot of people in here you may have noticed that more than a few are NOT self assured,and not so so comfortable as to this crossdressing thing. calling people "fruity" or "pansy like" does offend me,because that is just the sort of thing that keeps these people from enjoying their experience,and keeps some in the closet. You must have had second thoughts after posting those words yourself,because I see that you edited them out or your original thread. You got called on it, and now you want to try and put a different spin on it. I was like that once also,trying to look pretty,...yada,yada,yada. I believe that you did mean exactly what you said... that you feel that these people are exactly that .."fruity" and "pansy" like". Trying to qualify your remarks by saying that you don't care what people say, or that people shouldn't be bothered by words doesn't change the fact that YOU said and MEANT them. And that my dear is hypocritical. If there is one person who who can read your thread and not see that... I have some swamp land in Florida that I'd like to sell them.
Yes, you put a burr under my saddle... but not becasue you hit home... not even close.

[Kate Simmons]

Well Kelly, I'm intrigued how you know just exactly what I edited. I'm sorry you were offended, it was never my intention. It seems some folks are determined to be offended, however, no matter what. Nothing I can do about that Kelly. BTW, what I edited in that post was one word changing the word "to" to "the" as I had two "to's" in a row and it didn't make sense when I re-read it. Simple as that really. Folks who have been here for awhile know I stand by my words and if someone does not agree with me, that is fine too. Can't please everyone, I guess.

[Sophie A Walker]

Arianna

I guess that one reason many people cry foul is that the theme you chose for your original post hooked directly into the social accusation "You are all just a bunch of perves"

That is the big problem with the Bailey Blanchard perspective, and the autogynaphillia idea behind the title of your post in particular, the 'phillia' suffix is in most people minds a really difficult one and I for one think it limits the discussion to a very superfical perspective.

Berinthia

Freud was an old fraud, changed his mind with the wind of his prestige, Jung is more useful, and even better read a bit of melanie Klein.

To get into a really deep discussion of CD/TG/TS issues requires something a bit more developed than the Blanchard Taxonomy, which in my oipinion reveals much more about Blanchard (and Bailey later) and an obsession with the physical act of Sex, rather than a more rounded perspective on people.

A bit of a rant I suppose but there you go.

[Kate Simmons]

Understood Sophie, it must have been poor or good timing, depending on how you look at it. In any case, I had no knowledge of any of that Bailey stuff or associated psychobabble that went along with it. The only thing I was trying to do was stimulate thinking, nothing more or less really.

[kellycan27]

I read your thread, and re-read it The words were there and now the are not.
Just as i have read and re-read this thread. Just in case there was something I missed. I think i did miss something,something quite sad... You mentioned that there was a time when you did strive to do your best, but somewhere along the way..you lost the dream. YOUR dream. You decided to settle.Nothing is perfect,well all know that. It didn't work out for you, I can understand that, but telling others that it won't work for them sounds bitter, and mean spirited. You've had your shot, so why begrudge those who are taking theirs?

[Prissy Linda]

psychobabble is as psychobabble does. Not very stimulating at all.