House Rules

[Sometimes Steffi]

A lot of you have posted about rules, guidelines or agreements with you SO about when you can dress, where you can dress, how often, and how far you can go. I'd like to propose some house rules to my SO and wondered if some of you would post your house rules.

[Sarah...]

Your house rules will be unique to your relationship. Ours have boiled down to, "be who you are". As Becky prefers having a real me around instead of an unreal "him" it works for us.

Seems to work for the kids too.

Sarah xxx

[Alice B]

I guess my response got lost in cyberspace so I'll try again. I can dress all I want when my wife is away at work and she know I dress a great deal when she is out of town. I can sometimes dress when she is home if I first clear it with her, but she does not like to see me dressed. Yet on occasion she will come down to my office area to work at her computer station. Once a month she goes to a meeting, knowing I'll be dressed when she gets home. At those times when I can dress and she will be home I wear full make up to bed, with my forms on. In the morning I'll come down to breakfast still wearing make up and she will kid me about it, knowing I'll remove it after we eat. I often wear light make up at night, which I also get kidded about.

I wear panties 7/24, nighties to bed every night and have painted toe nails. All of which she accepts. As time goes by she becomes more accepting. The key is open honesty and a very strong relationship which I will not sacrifice. The urge to dress is very strong at times and sometimes very weak. I have not been able to dress for the past 3 weeks due to out of town company and the urge is VERY strong right now. I hope all of this helps.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Rules are usually set up to make sure that you and your SO understand what is acceptable to both and what is not. They are meant to keep the peace and avoid badness or resentment caused by your cding. You need to figure out how comfortable your SO is with your cding and take it from there.

The rules in the Hermosa house are pretty relaxed. I can pretty much dress up whenever I want, whether or not my wife is home, etc. Having said that, I live a busy life and don't have the time to dress up often. It's good to have the freedom though... even if I can't do much with it most of the time. There are some restrictions my wife places on me (which I will not elaborate on), but I've got more freedom and acceptance than many members here seem to enjoy so I count my blessings. Even so, I'm slowly working on easing up those restrictions. Having the free time to indulge will continue to be a problem for the foreseeable future though. That is one major restriction I'll not escape any time soon.

[Shikyo]

Like already said before, the rules are unique for all individuals.

I got no rules, that I need to follow. I can wear whatever I want, whenever I want and where ever I want. Though, mind you I'm on my way to live as a girl for the rest of my life.

The only "rule", which is not a even a real rule but more so a wish, is that I'll be dressed like a guy when I first meet my wife's parents.

[Kolokea GG]

Our rules are simple. He has his day off when no one is home to dress and on other ocassions when our son is not at home, as long as I am ok with it as it is still new for me...he can dress. Toes can be painted all the time as long as she does mine too:heehee:...bonus....

The big thing is comfort zone...once your outta it..tends to get tense and that doesn't do any good.

Also any decision that will affect us as a family is to be discussed prior to doing it.

Our number one rule is that our son will not know, we have seen what stress does to the child and absolutely will not put him through it again. We love our happy go lucky child to much. The world is too cruel out there and we already have issue at school from other kids telling him he has to pay them to be his friend(and he's in 1st grade).Once he's older it will be something we will discuss at that time.

[Michelle S]

We don't live in the same house. We have rule I suggested for when we go out. If either of us feels unsafe or uncomfortable we leave, no questions asked. We can talk about what happened, but no one has to explain or justify why we want to leave. We have both invoked this a couple of times.

For house rules you might each list concerns. These could be divided in to external issues, like not wanting the neighbors to know, and internal issues - how you each feel, dealing with your emotional needs even if they are insecurities.

This link may interest you:

http://www.tri-ess.org/Wives_CDs_BofR.html

[Raychel]

Simple rules,

Make sure the kids don't find out. (I think it is too late for that, pretty sure they know)

NO PANTYHOSE IN BED.

[Courtney A Anderson]

We're still trying to work out all the rules.. So far ... I can dress any time I like , with her blessing of course( no surprises ) . I can were panties 24/7 , night gowns to bed or watching TV at night , and were polish on my toes ween ever I like... so far that works for us ... I'm sure you'll be able to come to some kind of under standing if you sit down and talk it out ..:2c:

[Jenny Beth]

I have one rule and it's more or less self inflicted.

No high heels on the hardwood floor! I'm the one who has to fix it someday....:doh:

[Sandra]

A lot of you have posted about rules, guidelines or agreements with you SO about when you can dress, where you can dress, how often, and how far you can go. I'd like to propose some house rules to my SO and wondered if some of you would post your house rules.


You need to talk to her and decided the rules together and don't get all upset and angry if she says no to what you suggest, just sit and talk and come to a compromise.

[Jenniferpl]

I would suggest letting her set the rules at first and stay within those rules. Trust is a big issue. I agee with Alice B. Breaking the few rules we have setup is not worth ruining my wifes trust and acceptance. We have only a few rules that we both are in agreement on.

[tricia_uktv]

Only one rule. Respect your SO's limits. I mean that!

[PretzelGirl]

A lot of you have posted about rules, guidelines or agreements with you SO about when you can dress, where you can dress, how often, and how far you can go. I'd like to propose some house rules to my SO and wondered if some of you would post your house rules.

I read your message as more the rules you want to give for her. The ones they give us are always negotiable, but in the end you need to follow them to stay married.

So the one rule I have for my wife is to just be consistent. If you say it is okay if I am dressed when you come home, don't have a fit when I am. If you don't want me dressed under circumstances where I usually am dressed, then say so.

Just as it is usually said around here, communications is the key. If you both communicate your side of things and speak up when you need an exception, I would think you can both work with each other to accommodate each other's changing feelings.

[Joanne f]

There's only one rule and that is i make all the rules :devil:
( had to type that quick before someone saw it) :heehee:

[Sometimes Steffi]

Thanks for the advice.

For clarity, I looking to negotiate a set of house rules with my SO so that I'll be clear on what her limits are, what she is comfortable with and what she isn't. I would then try my best to live within the agreed upon rules provided there was some time for Steffi permitted. If she doesn't want to see me dressed, I can live with that, but I'd like it in the rules so I can limit my behavior. I would like to continue to be a married CD.

[Melanie R]

My wife and I do not call them "rules" but rather "boundaries". My wife wants some time out in public with Mel and that usually involves visits with some family members who either do not know or do not accept or our once each week visit to our church. I can be Melanie when I am home 24/7 and go out in public whenever the desire hits me. The only boundary at home is "pick up your skirt, heels and nylons or whatever feminine attire is laying around and put them where they belong and not on a chair". I am getting better in that department.

[Midnight Skye]

Ours are simple being I have the ultimate say in what and when. But the desire and current understanding is stay indoors and split male/female dressup time 50/50. Excluding bedtime.

[Missy]

the only rule about me dressing in or out of the home is do not wear any of her stuff and she will not wear any of my stuff.
I am able to wear what i want when i want with out asking
have been times when she has asked to borrow something of mine and I do ok it I just never wanted to wear anything of hers for more then 4 years now

missy

when dealing with stress wear a dress

[kristinacd55]

Mostly, my wife doesn't want to see me dressed live, otherwise she's OK with it. She even did my makeup last weekend

[Karren H]

Mine are .... I don't want to know about it.... So I keep it out of her face....

[Jessica Who]

My wife says it's okay to do whenever I want, but I try to do it within reason

[Satrana]

Thanks for the advice.

For clarity, I looking to negotiate a set of house rules with my SO so that I'll be clear on what her limits are, what she is comfortable with and what she isn't. I would then try my best to live within the agreed upon rules provided there was some time for Steffi permitted.

That is not a negotiation - you need to be clear on what your needs are rather than just roll over and accept whatever scraps she offers. And if her rules are restrictive then I can pretty much guarantee you will eventually break them. So avoid that pitfall by not accepting rules that are not sensible or fair.

In the long run it is better to have everything out in the open than having rules which force you to hide what you are doing so avoid agreeing to anything which puts you back in the closet.

[Fancynancy]

One is that I don't go out completly dressed.Two is that The chest hair stays.Three is that my cookie duster is there to stay.My wife shaved me on sat. and did cut more chest hair than normal,She said maybe more Later.Hot damn.Nancy

[Lorileah]

Mine was, and it applied to EVERYTHING not just dressing. Don't embarrass me in public.

[Tammy298]

....
NO PANTYHOSE IN BED.

Just curios, what about a garter belt and stockings? They're both mine and my wife's favorite right now especially under a long nightgown...


Only one rule. Respect your SO's limits. I mean that!

I agree 100%! ...and even if your not sure what her limit is, don't do anything that could upset things. There's a good chance you'll lose much more than you'll gain.

I'm still exploring my wife's understanding, desires and limits of my CDing. Right now it's limited to night time "attire" and underdressing (panties, garter belt & stockings) and on a few occasions before bed, a skirt and blouse. Anything else like wig, breast forms or makeup, haven't even been discussed. When I do bring up anything new, I'll make note of it here for you all to read regardless of the outcome!

I feel I am very luck to have such a wonderful loving wife and don't want to risk losing what we have or hurt her in any way.:)

[Bea A]

When the kids are home, its underdressing and "stealth" clothes and light makeup. When they are not home, its 24/7 with any clothes. I don't dress for bed (my choice). Not in public in our town.

[dilane]

I've decided to let my wife fully express herself, makeup, heels, whatever.

Unfortunately, she's most comfortable in casual pants, flats, and cotton tops...:)

She on the other hand, is ok with me going out two evenings a week, with advance notice, provided no conflicts with other obligations.

[TSchapes]

* Can't be dressed in front of my SO
* My son could care less
* I can go out as Tracy, but bringing up the topic is always a battle. She has asked me to bring up the topic more gently. But I haven't figured out what that means. So no matter how I present it, I get different results depending on her mood.

My own constraints is I don't want to go overboard on the wardrobe. I don't need to spend my son's college money.

As long as I'm not totally ignoring the rest of my family, I'm fine.

Oh, and she has asked me not tell certain relatives of her's.

-Tracy