If you were single....?

[softer side]

As many of us live within boundries to ease the burdon on our spouses, it poses a question.
If you were single, what aspect of dressing would you change?

I don't do en femme but I love a feminine flair in my attire.
I would probably wear very subtle polish and make-up while in guy mode and definately have a purse. ("manbag") Maybe a little more feminine heel on my ladies boots and possible the occasional block-heel pump under wide leg jeans. My wife is cool with earrings and perfume now but I could be a little more daring with the earrings I suppose.
Your thoughts?

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

My wife is pretty relaxed with my cding. There are some boundaries she has set, but not many.

I probably wouldn't do much different, aside from doing the full transformation more often. Free time limits that aspect of my life, but if I were single, I'd have a little more free time to play with... and play I would! :)

[Jenniferpl]

Probably would not change many things, Just more free time to the things I enjoy. Not really certain I would want to be single by choice. Cding is blast with a supportive wife.

[Shikyo]

I don't have any boundaries right now so nothing would change for me if I'd be single. I could do all the same things now and if I'd be alone. The only difference would be that I don't have a loving wife I can speak and enjoy my life with.

[Georgia Rose]

I'd indulge myself more I suppose. When I'm home alone which can be for up to a month sometimes I tend to dress a lot more. But with a very supportive wife (her boundaries are no different than my self-imposed ones) there is no way I'd swap what I have now for being single.:hugs:

[Phyliss]

Personally, "If I was single again" :

ALL the WAY, everyday.

Now, having said that, after 37+ years of marriage, it ain't gonna happen.

BUT, I can dream, can't I?

[Teri Jean]

I am single and it's reallywork and a few activities that I support where I have to keep up the male mode. Otherwise I dress when ever and where ever I want.

Keli

[Karren H]

I'd probably be full time but then again I'd also probably be unemployed or dead or both... She's been my stabilizing force since we met....

[JoAnne Wheeler]

"IF" I were single, I would stay dressed a whole lot more - every hour

that I did not have to present myself as a male - and "IF" I were

single, I would gravitate to dressing 24/7 as soon as I was financially

able


JoAnne Wheeler

[laura.lapinski]

It would be scary to think about what I might do. For starters, I would probably shave my legs, my chest and my arms. I would probably have some sexy, tight fitting thigh-length dresses, high-heels, jewelry, ear-rings, several wigs, perfume, makeup, breast forms, press-on nails, and my pictures posted online. I'm sure that would lead to going out, and getting together with others. I would probably go pretty far, but not come out to my co-workers or immediate family, but I would enjoy myself in a lot of ways. That could lead to being discovered, whereas at that point, my whole lifestyle would be different than today. At that point, I'd probably have a TG, Pre-Op TS as a girlfriend. It's fun to think about it isn't it?

[cindym5_04]

Hmmm IF I were single... that's quite a question because of how loving and supportive my wife has been. I've known her for over 10 years and we've been together almost 6 and our 1 yr anniversary is coming up. I told her about my dressing before we started dating and although I hadn't dressed in nearly a year, she wants me to dress and for us to start going out a little more again. So, if I were single, what would change...

1) I wouldn't have started college (went back to school starting in Fall '08 for the first time since high school- 18 years before... I'm 36).

2) I'd probably dress a little more here and there. I just don't have much free time in general.

3) I'd probably still be living in a crummy apartment because that's all I could afford. With our combined incomes, we bought a pretty nice condo in August '07.

4) I'd probably be a whole lot more stressed and far worse off than I am.

Like Karren, my wife has also been a stabilizing force in my life. Of course she pisses me off sometimes and I do the same to her, but we balance each other out.

[BLUE ORCHID]

If I was single I would probably still be looking for a good woman
like I've had for the last 45yrs.
We have our boundrys and it works for me I wouldn't want to be single.
.................................................. .............thanks..........ORCHID

[dennisGTS]

If I were single:

- I'd definitely have a ton more girl clothes than male.
- I'd be in debt way over my head from all the girl clothes shopping!
- Aside from going out with my guy friends, I'd probably dress as often as I could.
- Would probably fully dress to include make-up and wig; not sure if I'd go out in public (unless I were to go to one of those transformation boutiques).
- Probably frequent CD clubs.
- And lastly, feel very lonely without a SO.

[obsessedwithpantyhose]

i dont dress any dif now than i did when i was married...
i need more clothes tho....everyone has seen most of my small wardrobe....

and on a side note,,,,im ALOT less stressed now that she has moved out of this state and back to mich with her mom,,,,no more calls in the middle of the night "my car died will you come get me"....

[docrobbysherry]

I'm single now.
If all u married folks were single, u mite end up looking like me!:eek:

[Sharon B.]

This for all you married people that think it would great if you were single.
Are you out to family, friends, people you work with, neighbors? If not then it isn't any different except you don't have anybody to talk to at night or during the day.
Most of my neighbors and friends would dis-owe me if they knew what I really enjoyed doing to relax.
I probably have nicer clothes as Sharon than I do as my male self, I do know they are more up to date.
I do my best to keep my body hair free and most of the time I have nail polish on my toenails but there are times when I have to be my male self and I don't like it but that is life.

[DonnaT]

I reckon I'd be out more and to more people.

I wouldn't have to worry about what the neighbors see. Not that I worry now, but my wife does.

And my body would be hair free, and might have even had laser.

[Erica K.]

I am single, and there are benefits. I have came to accept myself without the fear of upsetting anyone. The friends I keep are very accepting. I haven't came out to them yet because I want to get them in the same place (well, the ones that mean something), and that is a task in itself between everyone's work & school schedule. But I did come out to my roommate last night! She allready knew, since I dressed at burning man last year (first time in public, woo!) and she saw all my heels & a wig out one day, she said. All she had to say was, "I don't know if I could have sex with a Cd, well maybe..."

I know i would be very reserved about my dressing if I was with someone before I reached the point I am at, if I dressed at all! It will be better this way when I do find someone (or will she find me?), because she will know very early on. I've never been good at keeping secrets.

[tommi]

Dress more frequently and I would get involved the local support group.
Living less than 15 minutes from the Lake Erie Gala that would become a
must attend event.

[renaegee]

I do not dress around the house now. If I were single, that would certainly happen quite often.

[softer side]

This for all you married people that think it would great if you were single.

I suppose I could have phrased the question a little better. I don't want to be single and I certainly don't envy those that are and looking for an understanding relationship!

I have self imposed boundries that I will not cross.
I have spouse imposed boundries with some gray areas.
I have spouse imposed boundries with no wiggle room whatsoever.

They gray areas are often "okay in the house but not in public" and would probably go unnoticed and/or nobody cares but her.

I'd be lying if I said I didn't try to advance my cause on the little things but I don't make a big deal of it. I also have a pretty good sense of what buttons not to push.

Perhaps it would be better said...
"What boundries would you like lifted from your relationship?"
-or-
"What would you like your spouse to be more lenient of?"

[pamela_a]

If I were single and with no other family responsibilities (ie children) I would be further down the road than I am now toward transitioning. I would at least be living full time as female.

-Paula-

[Katie Lynn]

I would just go ahead and let everyone in my life know and not care what people think and be myself every minute of every day...

[Miranda09]

Since I am single, I try to dress as often as I can around the house, tho staying inside and not venturing outside (yeah I know...don't say it!!). I need a bigger income to buy the clothes I want (I never thought about that in guy mode and referring to guy clothes!!!).......

[Kaylee 85]

I am, like others who responded, single. Ha ha heh heh... WAAAAAH! Just kidding. Why can't you have a man-bag and such when your married or dating or engaged or whatnot? It's fairly practical and you could explain it off as such if you really want one.

[María José]

If I were single, no kids, I would be a woman!

[Jessica Who]

If I were single, I would dress fully more infrequently, because my wife helps my with outfits and makeup. It's because of her that I was able to go all out from head to toe for the first time in my life.

[Samantha43]

I probably wouldn't be much different. I have a great wife who is supportive, and can dress pretty much whenever I want.

One thing I know for sure is that I wouldn't be as happy being single as I am being married.

[Paula Klein]

I had the same thoughts, wondering what my CD life would be like IF I were single ....

Unfortunately, I am now living out those thoughts. I say 'unfortunately' because the opportunity has been presented only because of a separation from my spouse, whom I love very much.

Just like many girls in our community, I've dressed for most of my life, with periods of varying intensity. The entire time I was married, my CD urges have mostly been kept in check, with the occasional 'dally' being sufficient to keep me satisfied. When it became apparent that no amount of effort on my part would be sufficient to prevent our separation, I began to look at my impending 'freedom to CD' almost as a 'consolation prize'.

Since my separation, I've had my ears pierced, keep my body shaved all the time, grown out my nails and go to the salon for manicures, had my first pedicure, thrown out my 'boy' underwear, etc. etc. etc. I enjoy very much the ability to dress and shop, travel, to 'date' even, when I want to, rather than trying to fit those experiences into brief 'windows of opportunity'. I'm even dreaming about attending SCC for the first time this year ... something that never could have happened in the past.

But I do agree with Sharon B ... unless you come out to family and friends, then ... fundamentally ... not much changes. Frequency and intensity pick up, but you are still 'in hiding'. And, when the evenings roll around, I do very much miss my partner.

The question I ask myself is ... would I give up my 'CD freedom' and go back to my previous life, if the opportunity arises?

[kelly1469]

i've i was single, i think now ive become more and more into cross dressing, i'd like to go full time fem, hormones, get the female body shape and soft skin look, etc! :daydreaming:

[LindaMarie]

If I were single, I would dress so much more. Per an agreement with my wife, I don't go out as Linda and I really, really miss it. After years of hiding a significant part of who I am, it was so wonderful to be with other people who welcomed and accepted me. Now I feel like I'm hiding again.

[pattipurge]

Why can't you have a man-bag and such when your married or dating or engaged or whatnot? It's fairly practical and you could explain it off as such if you really want one.
try explaining a "man-bag" if you live in arkansas. :eek:

[Angie G]

The only aspect I would change is I'd most likely be full time or close as I could get.:hugs:
Angie

[TxKimberly]

If I were single I'd be too lonely and depressed to worry about dressing.

[TGMarla]

At this point in my life, I'd have to say that if I were not married, if I were single, I would be in grave danger of crossdressing taking over a whole lot more of my life. My marriage keeps me grounded, and holds this whole thing in check to some degree. So I'm glad I'm not single right now, thank you.

[Megan_Girl]

.............. I've had my ears pierced, keep my body shaved all the time, grown out my nails and go to the salon for manicures, had my first pedicure, thrown out my 'boy' underwear, etc. etc. etc. I enjoy very much the ability to dress and shop, travel, to 'date' even, when I want to, rather than trying to fit those experiences into brief 'windows of opportunity'........

I would have to concur with Paula on this as it would be a very rough road. And would do many of the things she has mentioned; piercing, shaving, Mani / Pedi, etc..... with a few additions.... electrolysis, growing out my hair, minor plastic surgery to fix my baggy eyes and I would come out to everyone who matters, family, friends, bosses, co-workers, etc.

Possible consequences could include a job change, the loss of a friend or two and possibly some family. But the result..I.e.: that I could be who I really am 100% of the time... could be a net positive. AND that's a bit scary.

Megan

[AmandaM]

Definitely shave my legs and pits. And I can afford electrolysis, so why not.

[curse within]

Now that I am single, I have changed a whole lot!! In fact it is just down right scarey!! I find myself on a up and down roller coaster ride because I am not use to the freedom of dressing whenever I choose..

Part of me say's C.W. this is not right and the other say's just let go!!:daydreaming:

Seriously,I am getting in touch with myself ( my own ego ) that I never had a chance to explore.. Crossdressing was a NO NO in my marriage and I honered it the best I could and knew how..

Now, after several months of living on my own I have dated a few girls but I figured I need to get this under control so I am letting it out but not beyond the closet..:tongueout

I really get surprised I am the same person looking in the mirror as so many others mention when they go through this, no I am not it's a different person and one that scares the sh*t out of me.. Who is that???

I hope to get this under control real soon, I really don't know what is bringing this on if it's the seperation, the loss of a close family member of another life changing event I'd rather not talk about one of my kids is going through?

Or it could be the lonleyness I allow myself to go through.. Is it fun? yes sometimes I really do enjoy letting it out but like I always say in the end I was just some guy playing dress up:eek:

[linnea]

If I were single, I'd be fem 24/7.

[softer side]

Why can't you have a man-bag and such when your married or dating or engaged or whatnot? It's fairly practical and you could explain it off as such if you really want one.

Speaking for myself, it's not part of the look my wife has in mind for me. They're not hugely popular here but I could pull it off. It's one of those buttons I don't need to press right now.

To advance my cause(s), I take every opportunity I can to point out such things.
Example; you buy a green BMW because you want to be different. On your way home from the dealer, you spot 15 of them.
I've noted many men with higher than average heels. Not womens heels per se but higher than you would anticipate for me. This helped my cause in the ladies boots department! Now I have to point out pointy toed boots so I can move a couple more pairs into the 'out of the house' category.
Maybe it's pushing the envelope but I see it more as awareness.
Could a bunch of you fellas wear subtle makeup and nail polish this weekend at the mall near my place? LOL!!!!

[Byanca]

If I were single I'd be too lonely and depressed to worry about dressing.
I've always been single more or less. And this is how it is for me. I just put on something, usually something with a skirt or a dress with a top in addition. It does not really do much for me. It is just what I am used to. It hides and enhances in the right places compare to mens clothes. So that give that little feeling that make it worth it when you are like doing nothing.

[2b.Lauren]

Great question, that could be dangerous to ponder. Although my wife is supportive of my dressing she has boundaries that I respect and follow. Our relationship is difficult so this is something that I have often thought about.

If I were single or separated:

-I might be too busy getting to know my real self to actually do much dressing at all, lie, lie lie.

Since I am not able to go out dressed as a boundary that we have. With that freedom I would travel to other cities and then go out more often. Her request actually is very logical. I know that dressing here where I live could be a huge nightmare for me. If caught I can almost be assured that my job would be in danger and I would have a difficult time managing things. This is a very small town and I have a job that crossdressing would pose conflict in. I would also be concerned for my daughter and family, since I am not out to them, but my wife knows. That is why I say be careful what you wish for.

Since we are dealing in hypotheticals:
-I certainly would dress fully daily at home.
-I might even think about moving to a different city, transitioning a little more, and opening a practice to help other CD's.
-More female clothes hung in my closet instead of leaving them in a duffle bag.
-I think I would honestly be more relaxed and able to grow into the person I hope for myself.

[Prissy Linda]

I probably wouldn't be much different. I have a great wife who is supportive, and can dress pretty much whenever I want.

One thing I know for sure is that I wouldn't be as happy being single as I am being married.

That pretty much describes me and my situation...

[KarenCDFL]

If I were single I would probably still have that one crappy black plastic wig and dried out makeup.

I told my wife of almost 15 years before we got married and she has helped me become the girl I am now. :love:

[vikki2020]

If I were single? With my attitude today, I'd be on a one way ride to girlville!

[Juliemckay]

I would dress a lot more often,
I would get electrolysis on my face, legs and arms
I would need a larger closet for the clothes
I would get a boob job
I would join a yoga class
I would get my brows done





Heck, I might even pierce my ears

[Joy Carter]

Five years from retirement. Yeah I'd be 24/24 untill then I'd be 16/8 (In hours)

[DawnRodgers]

That is easy to answer. If I were single I would have transitioned years ago and be living, working and playing full time as a woman, hopefully with an accepting man as a partner. No question, no doubt.
Dawn