so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the outher CD'S ?

[Wendy me]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?

OK first off not being a cross dresser i look at some of these threads and quite often think WTF..........see it looks like this section has a lot of competition .... that in some way it's like look at me i am more fem ...than you all because i .... (ADD WHAT EVER) .......

see i look over here and see the same GUY thing that goes on out in the real world .... the one up thing my>.............(ADD WHAT YOU WANT) .... is better than yours.....

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

[Shikyo]

Not quite sure what you are asking but I'll do my best to answer.

No, I'm not trying to out do other people over here. I'm doing everything for myself, not trying to compete with other people in means of look or anything else. I just don't see the point in trying to compare looks at all, as each of us has their own beauty that will be unique to each of us. We should be proud of what we are, instead of trying to compete with each other. (An actual competition is another issue)

Being a TS, I don't consider myself having a "real" masculine side at all. Even though I'm sure I have some masculine features like everyone I'm just too ignorant to see them.

[Jessica Who]

I've been coming here for advice as well as to feel like I'm part of something bigger than myself. I don't have any friends who are crossdressers but this is something that I hope changes. I am definitely not here to one-up anyone, because I think everyone has a unique perspective and something positive to contribute

[Mirani]

To hear you call it a "hobby" is both surprising and disappointing.
In fact, it feels like being patronised.

I am here to express "me".

No competition. No testosterone alpha male competition.
Just someone expessing their inner being with external aids.

[Joy Carter]

I can't say anyone has personally tried to out do me, but I have seen other here make some pretty big claimes, as to what the have done. But what do I know. I lie about who I am when I go out in drab.

[charlie]

Hello Wendy!
I also am not quite sure of the question, but will answer the question by what I write here in the threads. I have been seriously CD for about 18 months now (wig, makeup, going out). At first I was just confused about why I was doing all this. The buying, endless materials on how to do makeup, clothes and wigs! Then I was amazed by how great it all felt. Now I am trying to incorporate it all together and just be "Charlie" the person...me! I think when we are amazed at doing something it must sound like a competition because it comes across as boasting or hyperbole. It is not really the case though, just excitement, confusion and wanting to see if what we are doing and feeling is the same for someone else.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

Interesting question.

I think there is a lot of competition between gg's when it comes to their appearance, accomplishments, and popularity - probably more so with younger women. I imagine that it is that element of my own femme-side that drives me to look my best or post a good looking photo of me. As far as accomplishments in cding... I don't have many yet, aside from accepting and loving myself. I have yet to get out en femme, but it's coming up soon if all goes well. :)

I know that if I could pull off a more attractive female appearance, I'd probably be posting a lot more photos of me hoping to collect some nice compliments. I do work hard on my body and put a LOT of effort into staying in shape - of course I want to flaunt what I've got and get some attention. Where better to flaunt it than with others who get it? :)

MY guy-side... well, my guy-side is just as competitive as anyone's I guess. But I'd have to say that it's my femme-side that is driving my desire to be seen or "out do" any of the others. Perhaps it's best put that it's simply ME, period, that has a competitive side, or simply wants to be noticed in a positive way. :)

[Kelsy]

I've never been good at the competition thing, besides I'm always tring to catch up to most of the girls here!!

KELSY:)

[curse within]

Yes I know he is...I have noticed the same thing going on here and spoke out to it but I really don't want to be part of the problem .. As I have said before ..We all have different levels, we just need to respect each others levels. So in saying that I would make myself out to be a bigot to be out spoken ..

[Nicki B]

Wendy, do you think genetic females are not competitive? :confused:


Speaking personally, the only person there's really any point in challenging is myself? :strugglin

[Kathi Lake]

It may not be competitiveness as much as "Aren't I cute? Please compliment me!" I'm as guilty of this occasionally as anyone. We all seek attention. We are in a forum where we get attention by being as feminine as possible. Competition? To-may-toe, to-mah-to.

Kathi

[stevieseven]

I think i get what you're saying, but gender is just an identity. I really can't revolve from one thing to another, the two halves justifying themselves in order to come to an understanding of something that really is beyond understanding- the Human Soul. Maybe you need to get past your own stereotypes OF YOUR SELF?
Ego-centricity does not discriminate- maybe there is a predominance of it in the community, since we're all used to being "2nd class citizens"
IS the grass greener on the other side? Both genders have their perks and drawbacks, it's just which perks and drawbacks appeal to you...
I debate the concept all the time of why us people crossdress or in a permanent sense,get SRS. Dont we just exchange one set of problems/limitations/standards for another?
I'll never pass as a real female, but i can look good trying. For me, it's the balance that i strive for- It's a matter of survival. If i go too far in my male psyche, or cut off the feminine i'll end up killing myself or someone else. This is how we acheive surviving the conflict that most normal people would rather not discover that exists in everyone with a soul.
Beyond how i see myself, deep down i know i am neither male or female.
It is more of of becoming more human than trying to be the other gender...

[Kelli Michelle]

I suppose some are competing, but it appears most are simply trying to get opinions, celebrate their femininity, etc. It would be natural to assume that some of the male traits (competiveness especially) would rear their heads. But I don't get that vibe from the posts at all. We, as cders and ts, often need that affirmation that all our hard work has not gone in vain. Probably need it more than most ggs if that is possible.

[Wendy me]

To hear you call it a "hobby" is both surprising and disappointing.
In fact, it feels like being patronised.

I am here to express "me".

No competition. No testosterone alpha male competition.
Just someone expessing their inner being with external aids.

call your dressing what you might ... call why you dress what you like .........explane why you do what you do in any way you want .... believe me sister making you or any other member here feel like being patronised or any thing in that way is not my point here ............

i went though the thing i do .... thinking i was some freak ... that i was sick hell i even thought i was a Cross dresser for a while .... and each stage was meant with much inner looking and wondering why me ...........

so sister calling cross dressing a (HOBBY) is not all together that bad hell when i got to were i thought i was a cross dresser i was amazed i survived the trip..........

[Nicki B]

i went though the thing i do .... thinking i was some freak ... that i was sick hell i even thought i was a Cross dresser for a while .... and each stage was meant with much inner looking and wondering why me ............

So, how do you identify yourself now, Wendy?


TBH, you sound angry..

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Wait a minute - did I miss something?

I took the thread-starter as basically a question of "do you try to show off in a playful way to the others?"

Was it meant as "are you trying to show that you're better than the others?"

If it was the latter, than my response a few posts back would seem like I'm some kind of show-off jerk, which I am not. I do flaunt what I've got a little, but in a playful way, and NOT in a "look how much better I am than you are" way. I mean, there are a zillion t-girls out there who put me to shame BIG TIME. I'm not competing, so much as playing. I think we all want some attention with our femme appearances, right? Ok, many of us, anyway. :) That is why we post pics, or so I would think.

Just read some other responses and started second guessing what this was really about. Lighthearted fun for me. That's all. :)

[Wendy me]

So, how do you identify yourself now, Wendy?


TBH, you sound angry..

hell that's easy and it only took a short 50 years to get to .....i am just a person with some interesting "EXTRAS"..................i no longer have a "HIM" or a "HER" side .... for now this is a good place for me.... clothing or what ever dose not change who i am .... i am me..............lol angry.... no...... just happy being me......

[curse within]

hell that's easy and it only took a short 50 years to get to .....i am just a person with some interesting "EXTRAS"..................i no longer have a "HIM" or a "HER" side .... for now this is a good place for me.... clothing or what ever dose not change who i am .... i am me..............lol angry.... no...... just happy being me......:D...That's what I am talking about no so much Him but not a she at all just me..

[Lorileah]

Wendy, do you think genetic females are not competitive? :confused:


Speaking personally, the only person there's really any point in challenging is myself? :strugglin

They don't call it competitive. They call it catty.


On that note, I have not been to the local T-bars for awhile. One reason was that I felt like I was in enemy territory. I try to look good when I dress. I am not always successful and often feel like I fail but in a public place where there are a lot of "T-girls" I get the cold shoulder and the look down the nose. So yes, I think TG's are very competitive. I don't think this is a "guy" thing as such. Look around, females are become the new male when it comes to aggression and anger.

Here? I don't think so. What I see is a large group of like minded people who try to support each other in the best way we can.

[Nicki B]

They don't call it competitive. They call it catty.

Spend any time working in a mainly female, professional environment and you'll quickly realise it's a jungle... ;)

[Kate Simmons]

You are one of the few here who sees that Wendy and you get it. The very nature of the competitive BS belies the claimed inherent femininity some claim to have.

[docrobbysherry]

Because it's the only way we have to show off our "secret fantasy life". Otherwise, it is only in our mirror, with our pics, and MAYBE, to an SO.
I guess I do my share of showing off with my pics. But, it's not REALLY me! It's my fantasy women! And I don't think I've never tried to fool anyone into thinking otherwise!

We don't get to go out dressed, as others here do. Or to socialise with others like us. :sad:

However, going back to your original question, " Trying to outdo each other". U probably meant, what is said in MANY OF THE POSTS HERE. NOT just pics, or discussions about looks.

Do u really see THAT much of THAT attitude here, Wendy? I guess I don't. I find most of the members here to be;
upfront, helpful, sympathetic, informed, open minded, polite, and kind!:hugs:

[Angie G]

I'm just treying to be the best girl I can. I;m no better then anyone and not as good as some. I just wanna be Angie.:hugs:
Angie

[Persephone]

Do u really see THAT much of THAT attitude here, Wendy? I guess I don't. I find most of the members here to be;
upfront, helpful, sympathetic, informed, open minded, polite, and kind!:hugs:
:iagree:

Whenever I read about the daring exploits of others here I see those posts as not only seeking praise, but as inspiration.

I come here to read interesting posts, to learn, to be supportive of others, to have fun, and, yes, sometimes to post my various exploits hopefully to receive some attagirls as well as to encourage others.

There may be some here who tend to post fantasy as reality, but, for the most part, I assume that almost all posts are genuine and, except for those that really chime my BS detector, I treat them as such.

As to my own posts, it has taken me a lot of years (and ache) to come out of my closet as far as I have. I'm very proud of my tolerant spouse and, frankly, of my own achievements.

Not proud in an "I'm here and you're not" attitude, because, along the way, I finally figured out that everyone has, and deserves, their own comfort level. We should gather together to support each other, and to encourage each other, but not to push each other beyond our individual comfort zone.

So, Wendy, I certainly don't come here to "one up" anyone else in this group. There are plenty of women to "one up" out in the real world (and I love that game!).

And, like others have said, if you think men are competitive, you just haven't joined a pack of women yet! The claws seldom come out when men are present, but women don't have pretty nails for nothing!

[TxKimberly]

To hear you call it a "hobby" is both surprising and disappointing.
In fact, it feels like being patronised.

I am here to express "me".

No competition. No testosterone alpha male competition.
Just someone expessing their inner being with external aids.

I'm with her!
No question that I make a lot of posts talking about what I have done, am doing, and hope to do. Believe it or not, my intent is not really bragging, it's more about sharing with my peers.
If you go back to some of my early posts here, you will see a progression, a growing if you will. I started by being fairly timid, talking about things I wanted to do, talking about things I was doing even though they scared the hell outta me. Now, after many years I do pretty much what I like and have come a long way. A GREAT deal of that progress, a great deal of the support that gave me the confidence, and so many wonderful experiences, came from right here on this forum. People like Holly, Karen, Suzy, Deja, Sally, and so many more. The people here are my peers, almost like a family, and I like to share my ups and downs, failures and triumphs with them.
With whho else can I share the thrill of going to dinner, a movie, or a club as a woman?

[TGMarla]

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................
You mean the competition thing? I think you may have something there. I know that my guy me is way competitive, and I have never really developed a "girl me" as in the person who hits the town and is around people all the time. I almost never go out anywhere, so I'm just me when I'm dressed, because I'm at home. (Okay, a little prettier :D) But I'm seriously not competing with anyone at all here or anywhere else. I just dress in a way that makes me feel good, that's all.


I try to look good when I dress. I am not always successful and often feel like I fail but in a public place where there are a lot of "T-girls"

That's still a damn pretty avatar, girlfriend!

[LA CINDY LOVE]

Competition has always been in my life, from high school sports to college to the outdoor activities that I do today competition is a motivation factor that drives one to be the best.

Do I view crossdressing as competitive.......yes, do I try to out do other CD'S......yes.

I was not this way when I first started to dress, when Cindy first started to go out to the clubs Cindy would see and meet some drop dead gorges gurls,
.......it was amazing how good they look and it was so hard to believe that they were men and every night I would come home I would look at my self
and say those gurls are eating you up.....is this the best you can do.

So Cindy stop going out and took this time to look at her self,....in other words Cindy went in to CD training. I listen to what all the gurls have told me that I need to find my own look.......and that is what I did.

I got a new wig, stop wearing my wife clothing and shoes and went shopping for new clothing and shoes and I change my make-up to MAC and learn how to do make-up.

30 day later Cindy went out and that was the day Cindy was born and got her name.

LA CINDY LOVE

[AmandaM]

I don't compete. In anything. But, I will admit to being jealous at times.

[Miranda09]

Hi Wendy...I'm not trying to outdo anybody here. What would be the point in that. All I'm doing is trying to be the best I can be. That's just my personality and the way I approach things in life. I am competing with myself. There's no confusion between my guy self and feminine self.

[NatalieBliss]

However, I think competition is a human, not necessarily masculine trait.

[Alice Torn]

Competition is one of the curses of human nature, and all the earth, like thorns on roses, or berries! Just like all thoughts, and emotions, we must harness, this wild horse. Competing with ourselves, instead of against others. I guess friendly competition, in sports, and with others, is ok, but hostile, resentful competion, is destructive to all. Our world, is, and has been increasingly full of hostile, merciless, cold, cruel competition, and , it seems like haughtiness rules! It was great to see Susan Boyle, break the status quo! I am on here, to learn, listen, share sorrows, and joys, post pics, and mainly because of stark lonliness, and no familt ties.

[Karren H]

OMG!! So your telling me it's not a sport?? Damn!!!! Then why am I always practicing?? That changes everything.... Guess I can stop timing my makeup applications.... I was on a world record pace for eye liner application too... going to break the 1 linear inches per second record...

Lucky for me I still have ice hockey... I only hope the ref's don't tell me were not competing next game.... affraid I'd check one of them into the stands...

WAIT!! Shopping's still competitive isn't it??? Race you to the mall... :D


Anyone up for a posting race? Most posts in an hour wins!! lol

[Sally2005]

I don't see it...actually this is one of the least competitive places I've ever been. My only competition is myself and I try to share what I have experienced to help others know that too can do it too. Competition usually impiles a winner and loosers. I don't see any loosers on this site.

Over time the experience and quality of what others have done has gone way up...maybe for some that is competition...if that inspires others, that is a good thing...if not, don't get discouraged, with practice you can do it and there are some smoke and mirrors too, so its not as perfect as it seems sometimes.

[joann07]

Me, I have never had any intention of trying to out do anyone, but if that's how people see it I will apologize in advance.

I enjoy sharing my thoughts, stories of my adventures, and photos because I want to offer encouragemnent and inspiration to others just as I once was when I first joined this site. I know I wouldn't be doing a lot of the things I'm doing today if it weren't for the ideas and tips I've read and received from the other experienced and veteran members on this site.
Now that I have lots of experience, I am happy to serve as someone who others and learn from and I would be honored to help or give advice to anyone in any way I can.



Hugs!

[Kathi Lake]

I agree Sally. Most of the people on this board are genuinely nice, empathetic and friendly. They are also a willing ear for our adventures as they have mostly the same interests.

Think about it, would you feel comfortable posting about your adventures buying the perfect bra or makeup tips (or even photos of yourself dressed!) on some of the other forums you frequent? I know some of the people I help in various Mac forums (that's Macintosh, not MAC makeup) would be very surprised to see MacGeek (my usual screen name) rocking a mini and pair of pumps. :eek:

Kathi

[Intertwined]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?



I have noticed this to a small degree myself, even in myself.

Part of it is human nature, its how any species continues itself. The strongest, loudest, most colorful gets what it wants.

[<3 Keri Lynn <3]

So what your asking is simply our Male and Female sides are completely 2 different people then my male side "lets say Jeff,(its not really)" told my female side "Keri" to come on this site to out do other CDers meaning I would be motivated by male ego to "win?" Or my male side supported my female side to come here and learn more about herself and better herself?

Honestly I do have a male ego and have a competitive side but my female side is much stronger then the other side and the hardest thing about my day to day life is putting up this fake shield to the people I meet and talk to with overcompensating maleness so they don't think twice that I'm a TG person

So to say, Keri came here, not Jeff(Not RealName)


*Hugs*Kisses*

[Jennifercrossdress]

Being fem is all about me, not other people. If I was concerned about what other people thought, I probably wouldn't dress. :)

[Carly D.]

I was getting all set to go out tonight (earlier) and was thinking through just exactly what this would be like and that would be like.. and then I decided to pull back the reins.. call it chickening out (I do) but all of a sudden I had a thought of "wait a minute, the Monday night "dare" that I filled was thought out and researched for a few weeks, and I'm going to just throw this one together??" and I decided not to chance it.. maybe tomorrow.. I see where you are coming from with this question of one upmanship type of behavior but truth is I do think there are those here who do what they say they do for the sake of having a good time.. not trying to "one up" the next person.. this isn't a competition but rather a quest.. and while it might seem like some are flaunting the "I went to the beach in a string bikini with my cherries flashing and nobody cared" type of thing.. but most of the gurls here are in good taste trying to do something that they don't understand why they do (me.. oh that's me!!) I just am trying now to get it.. why do I cross dress?? why have I been cross dressing all these years and now think I have to go out?? what am I accomplishing by going out in the dark and to places nobody is?? bravery: some of us have it, and some of us are trying to achieve it gradually... (me again on that last one)..

[Katie_]

This has to be the dumbest post I have ever read. Come on people, get a grip.

Karren...ya better look out before you pull that cart out from behind the skirts...you think being body checked in the rink is bad...Im gonna take ya out!.....bet ya I can run faster in my heels on ice than you can on your skates....

oh...darn...I was being competitive.....ooops..forgive me....please....

[Karren H]

This has to be the dumbest post I have ever read. Come on people, get a grip.

Karren...ya better look out before you pull that cart out from behind the skirts...you think being body checked in the rink is bad...Im gonna take ya out!.....bet ya I can run faster in my heels on ice than you can on your skates....

oh...darn...I was being competitive.....ooops..forgive me....please....

Your on... meet you at the rink!! :D

[linnea]

I'm not trying to out-do anyone.

[curse within]

Are some of us that far into denial? Has everyone missed the point of this thread completely? Everyone is so quick to defend themselves that very few even mentioned that they see nothing wrong?

Did anyone read Wendys original post? Did you skip past the troubled times she had during her lifetime with crossdressing and self acceptance? How she experianced several stages in her life to accept or reject a constant battle of self identity.

Not to mention the part where she brings up " do we bring our guy mode in here to compete on who has it better".. People ,sometimes it just isn't about us. Yes you are all so helpful in your own ways but sometimes you go through peoples emotions with blinders on .. No we ALL don't do it everytime but it is growing into a common accurance..

Yes this place is intended for you to have a great time and act life out as a bunch of women and have no cares in the world, as long as you get to dress and no one brings you down doing it.

Small doses add up and yes some of you feel it isn't right to bring negativity into your FORUM.. These people who come in here with what you consider negativity torwards dressing are real people with real issues.. They are not as advanced in the lifestyle that has become second nature to you ..I am not just speaking of Cder's I am seeing a lot of GG's here trying to support and learn what was just exposed to them, from someone they love.

Wouldn't it be nice to just look back at when you felt alone and afraid and a just wanted a little understanding..

I said it let the stoneing begin on me ..That's fine be angry at me for posting this, defend your actions ..I didn't see anywhere that telling stories of your night out was the time of your life or posting pictures was a competition issue ( unless I am wrong Wendy ).. Not even Clothing or make up tips .. We all know what Wendy is talking about ..

[Kate17]

I guess I have not been around here enough to hear all of the competitiveness. I have been around the block a few times though and it is still nice to get words of encouragement - and I see a lot of that here. I smiled when I read about a young girls first panty purchase today. Soon she will be buying dresses and all kinds of neat things. She sounded very excited and everyone was very encouraging. Young or old, we all need it because we all want to be the best we can be and most of us have something lacking. Lots of girls, I suspect, live their fantasy lives through the adventures of others. Listening to stories of other girls successes helps us find our courage and knowledge to venture on the other side of the rainbow. So I say, keep it coming. And if some of it is wishful thinking, thats OK too.

Kimberly - I really liked your adventures and I am for one glad you take the time to tell us.

Kate17

[Sophie Lynne]

I am trying to be the best Sophie I can. Nothing more or less.

[battybattybats]

I've never seen anyone remotely as competative as my Aunt is with my Mum.

She has to try and one-up her in every possible way and to dissmiss as irrelevant any achivement she can't match.

It's a sexist notion in our society that men are competative and women are cooperative. Women can be thoroughly cut-throat and ambitious and men the opposite.

[Sarah...]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?




To answer your question, it's just me here.

I've always run away from competition. In fact I reckon I run away from competition faster than anyone else here :D :heehee:

I don't see much competitiveness I must say. I do see a lot of anger though.

Sarah...

[KimberlyJo]

I find most of the members here to be; upfront, helpful, sympathetic, informed, open minded, polite, and kind!:hugs:

I'm very new here but this is my initial impression of MOST of the people here MOST of the time. I mean, if that counts for anything at all :)

I know that when someone is unhappy and feeling low, that when they post they get an outpouring of support from this community. Why can't the same be true for when someone posts about a success or just feeling great?

To answer the question: I think this is me here, but I'm still trying to figure out who that is. But right now, this seems like a good place to help me figure that out. That's why I'm here.

[Suzie S.]

Just little 'ol me here Wendy. I've never tried to out-do or compete. I'm just a CD, in the closet to everyone but my dear wife. I couldn't 'pass' my way out of a paper bag, nor do I try very much. I'm here to discover, share, learn, add a :2c: now and then, and most importantly make some friends, like yourself. :)

If anyone on the forum is just here to be a showoff or make things up, it's not helping this forum. But most importantly, it's not helping themselves, and that's a shame. I will say that most people on this forum are truly genuine, honest, and caring...and that's why I like it here. :) As with anything in this world, let's not let a few bad apples....

[Sam-antha]

Just Samm here, living in about the only place that I feel happy to chat with folk in the shape and mindset of myself - Samm.

Sometimes you see me in colour just as I am when I get out. These times seem more real for the pics, more so than Flickr which is so damm passive.... which it is not in here sharing with you.

~Samm

[Leanne2]

We are all sisters here. Some of us can pass. Some of us can't. And some of us are too scared to try. I'm still amazed that I can pass as well as I do. I posted pictures of my new hairdo a few weeks ago and the comments were favorable. That gave me the confidence to go shopping in a department store wearing a skirt and top. Of course I had done my hair and makeup. I don't want to look like a man in a dress. But some do. And that is OK too.
As sisters we gab and talk about what interests us. Some of us exaggerate about our activities. That is what sisters do. I hope that my posts will give a sister the courage to step out en fem if that is what she wants to do. If I could I would give my sisters a big hug and say," You can do it!" Thanks for being there for me. With love, Leanne

[Violetgray]

Am I constantly trying to out-do someone? DEFINITELY.

Who? Myself.

I have a very particular standard that I hold myself to, but I do not apply it to others.

Wendy I'm confused, you've mentioned a couple of times by now that you are not a crossdresser. Are you biologically male, and not a transsexual? Do you dress in women's clothing? If so, then you are a crossdresser. "Crossdresser" describes an action, and your reasons for doing so are irrelevant.

[DonnaT]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?
I don't read all the threads, so I really haven't seen anyone trying to out do anyone else.


OK first off not being a cross dresser
OK, so in not reading all the threads I seem to have missed something, Wendy. Last I recall you did a lot of cross dressing, which many people label one who does so a crossdresser. Have you moved to the TS side of the continuum?


see it looks like this section has a lot of competition .... that in some way it's like look at me i am more fem ...than you all because i .... (ADD WHAT EVER) .......

see i look over here and see the same GUY thing that goes on out in the real world .... the one up thing my>.............(ADD WHAT YOU WANT) .... is better than yours.....

Like I said, I don't see what you are seeing. However, if there is competition, it is girly competition at best. Women compete in appearance (and other things) all the time. One of the reasons some schools adopt uniforms is to avoid the tension due to girls (and guys) competing in the looks department.


so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

I am a guy. So of course there is more of my guy side in the mix.
I am dual-gendered. Transgendered. And as such, need to cross dress. So it's a good thing that I like it.

[msginaadoll]

I dont think the competetive thing influences me(much) I am one of the least competitive people I know!! What does influence me and encourage me is hearing about people getting out and about. I love reading kinberlys and joanns experiences among others And those have encouraged me to get out. Yes I do look at some peoples pic, and go, wow, never in a million years can I hope to look that pretty. But they also influence me to work on my presentation. I also know what Lorileah said about some of the T-girl friendly clubs. I at first thought people were stuck up or clique ish there. But i realized that once I started approaching others that they were really great people. It was just that everyone was not going to go out of there way to meet me. I had to take a step halfway there. In fact I had someone once say they thought I was one of those stuck up T-girls. When we got to talking we both realized it was that both of us were just shy and in many ways insecure. So what im saying is that like all communities we come in a variety of flavors. We can be friendly, shy stuck up, egotistical, sharing, caring, passionate, freaky, and all the rest. So yes there can be competetiveness.

[LisaM]

I am with Violetgray. The only competition is with myself. I want to make myself look better. I want to look more natural.

[Paula TV]

It's a mixture, for the purpose i am on these forums, i do feel competitive when it comes to appearance as a woman, this may not be the drive that most cd's have here, but the main reason i really do it, is because i know i'm convincing, but i do feel woman-ish at times, and i go through phases it can become quite passionate, but i know in reality i wouldn't change actual sex.

As regards to other areas of the forums, minus image gallery, i'm not being competitiveness in any way, i'd like to help other cd's more.

Oh yes, i also compete against myself, i still feel i haven;t reached my most feminem look yet, make-up wise mostly.

[Nicki B]

.. We all know what Wendy is talking about ..

Given her apparently deliberate ambiguity, I think that's highly unlikely..

So why don't you explain what you think she meant? :idontknow:

[Deborah Jane]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?



Nope this is me....
What you see is what you get, it don't matter how i'm dressed or whether i'm presenting as Debs or D*****

I'm naturally like this :eek:

[curse within]

Given her apparently deliberate ambiguity, I think that's highly unlikely..

So why don't you explain what you think she meant? :idontknow: Not my thread not my place ...Maybe it could have something to do with certain threads that had to be closed..

[Marilynn]

Hobby? Wow - I wouldn't have expected a person with 35,000 posts calling crossdressing a hobby. So all those 'woman in a man's body' 'my true identity' members are liars? Or just deluded?

Funny thing is, for me, hobby is probably an appropriate word. That doesn't mean that I don't know better than to throw the word out there without careful qualifiers. Maybe someone's just having a bad - very bad - day?

[Carroll]

I am who I am and God and my family will always love me for being true to myself, not by what I wear. Chris and Carroll

[LA CINDY LOVE]

They don't call it competitive. They call it catty.


On that note, I have not been to the local T-bars for awhile. One reason was that I felt like I was in enemy territory. I try to look good when I dress. I am not always successful and often feel like I fail but in a public place where there are a lot of "T-girls" I get the cold shoulder and the look down the nose. So yes, I think TG's are very competitive. I don't think this is a "guy" thing as such. Look around, females are become the new male when it comes to aggression and anger.

Here? I don't think so. What I see is a large group of like minded people who try to support each other in the best way we can.
That is so true what Lorileah is saying there were times that I would have some TS look at me and roll there eyes because I was a crossdresser, and at Peanuts had a TS rub my Brest I took it as a flirt but was told it was a put down.

I feel that a CD who goes out to clubs has to be a little competitive..........everyone ells is.

LA CINDY LOVE

[Karen564]

so lets hear it .... is this you here or are you trying to out do the other CD'S ?

see i look over here and see the same GUY thing that goes on out in the real world .... the one up thing my>.............(ADD WHAT YOU WANT) .... is better than yours.....

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

Sad to say it, I know exactly what you've been seeing Wendy..

But I'm not sure its my place to say anything, because I dont identify as a CD.. and wont go into specifics on what I have been seeing lately..

The way I see it, there's a good & bad to the competitiveness..

The good is, it strives more members to take it to the next level and strive for perfection & pass-ability...God bless them..:)

The bad is, it may make the more timid members get depressed & feel like they lost the battle before they even had a chance..:sad:


For me, I'm not here to compete with anyone, it's just not my style and never was... For me, I'm here for my own sake & help out others any way I can, and I'm certainly not here to impress anyone, nor do I ever desire to.

I lost my male superiority complex a long time ago, and I said good rid-dins to it with pleasure..because I never liked it anyways to begin with..

So with all that said, I'm just me, the real me being myself with no razzle dazzle, and happy with that..:battingeyelashes:

[shesadvl]

hell that's easy and it only took a short 50 years to get to .....i am just a person with some interesting "EXTRAS"..................i no longer have a "HIM" or a "HER" side .... for now this is a good place for me.... clothing or what ever dose not change who i am .... i am me..............lol angry.... no...... just happy being me......


WOW.... someone has finally got what I have had for years on the end of my emails, congratulations wendy.... "you are who you are not whom or what anyone else wants you to be....."

This quote is what I have had for years on the bottom of my emails..
"Be who you are......not whom others wish you to be"
reading wendys post says it took 50 years, doesnt need to take that long though...
But we as humans tend to make things harder for ourselves then it needs to be.;)

why be competitive thought that was for a sports field etc...

I also notice that its now been picked to pieces on what wendy was referring to with also others input......interesting reading though...

If you dont learn something in your journey guyz n gurlz as to why you CD/or anything else in life.....(even thought some are still coming to terms with themselves re this)...you learn nothing....and still be where you are at, but trying to be competitive tells me you are trying to be someone who you are not... or as others say look at me weeeeeeeeeeeeee.....:devil:

Nothing wrong in looking good, hey you are all guyz that luv to dress up/n be gurls... in womens clothing either way.....so long as you feel good in yourself as to what you are doing.......no harm in sharing things...yes....

as My loving CD'er says or put it "..goes back to the dress up box at kindergarten days" ...... im me utmost and always.
Dressed or undressed. The one and same person always.....:battingeyelashes:
Im his twisted sister but also his loving partner.... laffing....:devil: there is no competition....:tongueout (And NO guys Im not really his "sister" figure of speech... before yer run off on that one laffing...):tongueout:devil:

just a foot note to this: something Lorileah said made me laugh... "competitive, nah catty"....made me think of this.,... experience....
I used to help out at a nightclub with TS gurls and Drag Queens (shows etc) doing make up/costumes what ever.... when all "ell breaks loooz...for what ever reason catty/or ya broke me fingernail....or something else.......yer get the heck outta there.... they aint gurls they are guyz with, real all full left and right hooks..... neer mind the language such loverly gurlz they were....took the security guyz all their time to quash it...but usually closed the club for the night.. n they dont get paid if they do this stuff...... laffing ;oP~~~~ but great performers on stage... and in real life....Oh them were the days laffing....;)

[crusadergirl]

Maybe at first i would of thought of this as a competition. But i'm not here to look better then others are show off.
Competition is a good thing though it makes you better. Without it most never improve. The things i do are for me not to be better then others. I'm way past being a cd i'm just me.

[Taylermade]

I love it how people believe that their opinion is what counts on this particular issue. Who cares if some view it as a hobby, lifestyle, or expression.
Is it really that big of a deal-breaker on differences of each viewpoint?
Does this mean that all of a sudden their viewpoint is wrong?
I find it amusing how everyone loves to nit-pick.

Everyone is different.

Geez.

[Miranda09]

I love it how people believe that their opinion is what counts on this particular issue. Who cares if some view it as a hobby, lifestyle, or expression.
Is it really that big of a deal-breaker on differences of each viewpoint?
Does this mean that all of a sudden their viewpoint is wrong?
I find it amusing how everyone loves to nit-pick.

Everyone is different.

Geez.

I agree Taylor.......

[yazooey]

Showing off? Of course. One upping and thinking we're better than others here? I don't know about that.

Speaking for myself, I find that this site is a place to share my growth with someone. Someone other than myself. But, now this a huge but. The someone's that I share with are very very special to me and I hold you all very dear to me. As we all know, our lifestyles can be very lonely until we get out there and share with the whole world. I am by no means ready for that. That is why I share with you all, my cyber sisters.

I can plot my progression in crossdressing down to the way I dressed at each stage. The latest stage has been sharing my pictures with you all, and only you all. I remember the first time I came to this site and wouldn't even post a response or start a thread. Then, I became more active in posting, not only responses but actually starting my own threads. This progressed into posting pictures of myself, sans face. Finally, I have built up the courage to post full body shots including my face.

Now, I've come to this stage only because of the encouragement and acceptance from you all. I consider you all as my girlfriends and like I said before, I hold you all dear to me. You give me feedback both good and bad and that is what I really appreciate. So, long story long, of course I am going to show off a bit. I want to share my progress with you all. After all, it is because of you that I am where I am. Thank you.

[Carly D.]

I was thinking of this earlier and in my mind I am only trying to one up myself.. I think.. trying to go one step further out the closet door.. trying to, be real to me somehow..

[Michelia]

I am not the competitive type. I am the cooperative type.

But it has helped me enormously to watch how the ladies on this site have developed themselves and lead by example. I have learned so much in the limited time I have from everyone here, including you Wendy. Most importantly, it has given me the courage to go out and enjoy myself.

I used to feel "I could never, ever look like that" and now I feel like "if she can do it, so can I" but I do not view that as competition.

[Lisa Golightly]

There are just super-comptetive people regardless of sex... I've known women in management who've not only been ruthless in climbing the ladder it's become all they live for... If it happens here then it's just a natural expression of that kind of personality I guess...

I'm more a teddy bear type... Probably the least competitive person you can meet... In fact if I think someone feels threatened by or jealous of me I end up worrying about them! lol... I'm daft as a brush really... and rather mouse like *squeak*

Lisa x

[MsJanessa]

I really can't get a handle on what the OP is trying to say--is there a question in there somewhere? If you are saying that some T-Girls are competitive about the way they look and their ability to "pass" and/or attract others, the answer is yes, but no more than many GGs are competitive--I will note that the older we get the less catty and competitive we become.

[Wendy me]

OK, so in not reading all the threads I seem to have missed something, Wendy. Last I recall you did a lot of cross dressing, which many people label one who does so a crossdresser. Have you moved to the TS side of the continuum?

Ok Donna well a lot of cross dressing well one might see it as that i know i did at one time .... could it be that it was a mind set that made me belive that i was "differnt" and that's what i needed to do???... you know we all look for answers and even when we belive we have found them the truth still might be yet to show to us.... i don't belive one crosses a line to be come TS .... nor dose any one need to be any one they are not ... lol think of this you are who you are .... even if you don't know who you are........







I am a guy. So of course there is more of my guy side in the mix.
I am dual-gendered. Transgendered. And as such, need to cross dress. So it's a good thing that I like it.


again Donna way cool you know who you are and your good with that .... way cool ............

[Nicki B]

Wendy.. Which of the above is Donna's quote and which is your reply? The red text? The big black in bold??? :strugglin



It so feels like there's another agenda here - some people obviously seem to think so. So CW, I don't think everyone knows what Wendy is talking about at all? :sad:

[Samantha43]

Competitive.....me??? Absolutely, I am way competitive!

Am I being competitive on this forum? I have never really thought of it that way. Showing off a little....maybe......:battingeyelashes: I have spent years of hard work (enjoyed every second of it!) developing my look and it's nice when someone takes the time to compliment.

[Wendy me]

Nicki this was my reply to Donna............




Ok Donna well a lot of cross dressing well one might see it as that i know i did at one time .... could it be that it was a mind set that made me belive that i was "differnt" and that's what i needed to do???... you know we all look for answers and even when we belive we have found them the truth still might be yet to show to us.... i don't belive one crosses a line to be come TS .... nor dose any one need to be any one they are not ... lol think of this you are who you are .... even if you don't know who you are........

[Taylermade]

I don't see anything wrong with those who want to post their pics and "brag" a little if you will. I quite frankly have not noticed anyone being a total bitch about it either in previous postings out there. Let's face it, I think a majority of us want to show off what they are able to accomplish and there is nothing to second guess on it.

Just like in life, as others have pointed out in this thread, there are going to be competitive people and those who are not as competitive. If everyone was the same and expressed the same views, life sure would be boring, correct? So to have such diversity among personalities is a great thing. For me, I am competitive and I have voiced that too. It is who I am and how I grew up. I hate to lose.

Again, some people just have way to much time on their hands to nit pick at shit.

[Starling]

Dear Wendy (a name I love, because it means "change"),

I haven't read all the responses yet, but I wanted to weigh in. I come here because it inspires me. I have very shyly put up a few pics (and not so shyly posted messages) in the belief that I should give something back, present a persona, however blurred, and support the other girls (and boys), so that I'm a full participant and not a lurker. I hope in time I'll feel ready to a) go out and b) show the pictures and tell the stories. In the meantime, I love, love, love bathing in the beauty of all the wonderful TG people in here. Even the cranky ones.

Er...I'm sorry, what was the question?

:daydreaming: Lallie

[Jacueen]

I can't believe you're reading the same forums as I am!

I've only been a member for a couple of days but I've been reading a lot of threads (too many actually...have to get some actual work done sometime.) Every thread I've read, from those with a dozen replies to those with hundreds, has impressed me with how helpful and sharing everyone is. Not once have I felt that anyone was trying to outdo anybody else, just that they were being open and honest.

I honestly can't fathom where you get the impression that girls here are trying to outdo each other. If anything, to me, just the opposite.

- Jacueen

[Sonia Greene]

Anyone who wants to look presentable, dressed or drab, does a job of
1) well-styled clean hair
2) clean clothes that work well on that body
3) hose that suits the whole
4) shoes (clean) suited to the outfit
5) erect stance, head level
6) if a bag is carried, one that suits the whole
7) attitude of benevolence. (as opposed to malevolance)
It's not about competition, although when many get together, there could be an element of it! Male or female.....

Is that enough?!!
Sonia

[Wendy Seymone]

so what i am asking in your quest to be more fem in your hobby do you think your guy side is way more into the mix than you know???????................

OhMyGod... Is this like totally Deja Vu all over again?? :confused2:

[Fancynancy]

I believe in the Ricky Nelson theroy of life. Yes I'm that old. But in the Garden Party song he said so well " that you have to please your self" That is allI'm doing with my dressing

[JulieK1980]

I save my competitiveness for venues where I have something to gain, (like work) but I'd be lying if I said I understand the question or the attempt at a point for the thread. Why the ambiguity though? You seem to be deliberately vague for some particular reason. It comes across as mild arrogance to me, but I don't think thats accurate.. Is it a frustration at something?

[JoAnne Wheeler]

I think that to some extent, there is an aire of competitiveness in the pictures

that are posted - mind you, not all of us Girls are blessed with the natural

beauty, face, body size and build, as some of you - I know what I am and

though I sometimes am so envious when I look at the pictures of some of the

few really beautiful female transformations and presentations that you are

able to portray, I get a reality check. I know that I will never, ever have

the size, the body, the face, the natural beauty to look like some of you -

but I think that this Forum helps all of us to try to be the best girl than we

can with what we have to work with - this Forum is a place to talk to people

(other sisters) who have walked in our heels (high I hope) and who have

experienced so many of the same things growing up and having to deal with

and confront our crossdressing - through this Forum, I have come to accept

who and what I am - in my mind, I'm just an old ugly male who has a beautiful

petite and charming Girl within me that is dying to get out .

We cannot all be lovely looking feminine creatures - but we can be happy with

our own personal crossdressing and we can enjoy, as never before, the

friendship, the love and the undersatanding that we have for one another.

Therefore, if I cannot be the prettiest or the most feminine looking, I can still

enjoy expressing my own feminiity and I can sympathize, relate with, comfort,

feel both the pain and the joy of the posts on this Forum.

I personally respect and love all of the Girls on this Forum - you have helped

me when I have been down and depressed and you have made me realize

that I am not the only one who has had to live believing that I was the only

one that ever had to face and deal with crossdressing - when I see how

beautiful some of your transformations are, I try to learn from them - and

when I read the posts, I can put myself in your place - because you and I

have all been there. We share this common bond - we are crossdressers !

Lets just love and respect one another. Again, I love all of you.

JoAnne Wheeler