Pressure relief valve

[Elizabeth Ann]

I am still trying to understand my own cross-dressing dynamics, made an observation to my therapist, who asked if others on this list had the same experience.

I am a consultant, and have recently been involved in a project that required difficult, very analytical thought--the kind that makes your brain hurt at the end of the day, which doesn't come until about 7 p.m. Some days I wear panties and some days the white cotton Y-fronts. The therapist asked if the panties were a distraction, but I honestly think it is the other way around.

Now, dressing is pretty sexual for me, and I am probably close to being a fetish dresser. But on the days I wear panties, I think I can concentrate better! And, I am pretty easily distracted. . . I told her I usually would forget about the panties until mid afternoon, when I would get a little smile, and go back to work.

I guess for me, it seems to drain off a little sexual energy and allows me to stay on task. Is this the case with others? I would be especially interested in the experience of those who find CD'ing to be sexual.

Liz

[linnea]

Since I feel very comfortable and relaxed in female mode, it is a way for me to relax, but I don't really relieve any sexual tension by crossdressing.

[Karren H]

Sex doesn't have anything to do with it for me..... I'm more of a competitive shopper... lol and a makeup addict!! And being out enfemme feels the same emotinally as being out in drab.... just comphy no mater what clothing I wear.....

[MissConstrued]

Y-fronts give me wedgies. That's a major distraction. So do boxers.

Which is why I no longer own male underwear. Maybe I'm built funny.

[curse within]

CDing is sexual for me and if I wore panties to work I'd would be worthless as they would be a distraction same as if I wore them to bed , it would keep me awake.

[sandra-leigh]

A couple of months back in some posting or other, I mentioned that I "habituate" pretty quickly when I dress more femme. When I'm working, I do not spend time thinking about how sexy I am or about how "I have a secret!". The first few times wearing panties, Yes, there was concern and awareness of them, but now-a-days, if you were to ask me which panties I have on, I'd be hard-pressed to say (other than "female"), because panties have become "just my regular underwear". Similarly I used to worry about tights or pantyhose; I still don't wear pantyhose at all often (my shoes tend to tear them apart), but I have a wide variety of colours of tights and knee-highs: where once I only dared wear black ones so I could pretend they were black socks, these days I wear according to my mood, including (solid) colours that are pretty unlikely to be guy colours. People aren't staring down at the few inches exposed at my ankle, and they couldn't do anything about it if they did. Now if I was wearing ultra-gloss sheer pantyhose that were pretty obvious to on-lookers, then I'd be risking gossip, but if I appear to be wearing lavender or lime-green socks, I'm just perhaps a bit odd.

My choice of shirts (some of which are actually blouses, a fair number are femme tops that don't have the cut or the bling or the ruffles that proclaim them definitely female) is probably much more observable than my undergarments. I think that if anyone was paying any attention, "looking for it", then it wouldn't be hard to decide from my shirt choices over a week or two that I'm subtly cross-dressing... it could well be that someone's already figured it out; if so then word of that hasn't gotten back to me. True that I'm out of the gossip loops, but I don't see people staring at me or appearing to take any particular attention to what I'm wearing, or talking to me any less than they used to. Again, if I'm wearing a top that I consider a bit more daring (e.g., my blue top that has some scalloping at the neck), then I might notice a couple of times during the day -- but as long as I'm sitting in my office doing my work, I generally do not think about what I'm wearing. It's when I get up to go into the more populated areas that I'm more likely to think about what I'm wearing. Oh yes, and for the panties, I don't even think about them when I'm doing <whatever> around the building: I generally only think about them when it's time to use the bathroom.

Of the things that I do sometimes wear, there are only two that sometimes "spontaneously" distract me:

A) If I'm wearing one of my cross-over mini-camisoles (that is, effectively a cloth bra that lifts and gives definition to my natural attributes), then sometimes when I'm working and I happen to look down so that my shirt is in my field of view, then I might well notice how the shirt/top has folded out and then back under my bust, giving the appearance of a "real" bust (well, since in this case it is a "real" bust, the appearance of a a more sizable bust such as I would be pleased to have naturally. That can distract me a bit and can be a little bit of a turn on.

B) If I'm wearing a bra and forms while I'm working at my desk, a similar effect to (A).

Oddly, if I "dare" to wear my bra and forms "around" (the building, where others can see me -- perhaps even while I work with them a bit), then I fret a bit about whether they are "too obvious" while I'm getting up to leave my office, and I check out my profile as I pass the mirrored walls at the stairs / elevators... often I can tell, but the check-out assures me that if I hold my shoulders the right way or pull my top a bit looser than it won't be obvious. But once I get There (where-ever my destination is) and I've double-checked that I didn't end up sitting in such a way that my shirt folded out-and-around such as described above, I pretty much ignore the bra-and-forms: when I get There, I'm working, or I'm having my break or whatever, I'm not busy thinking about My Little Secret.

All of which links in to sometime I've noticed before: my anticipating dressing femme can be, uhh, "exciting", but the practice of going around en femme or gender-bending is usually just something that is "comfortable" (unless, that is, I am deliberately showing off.) So underdressing at work just "feels right" for the most part (except as noted above): if I were to stop underdressing at work, I would probably feel uncomfortable and a bit distracted, at least for a while. (But then I've been in panties 24/7 for more 2 1/2 years now and male underwear no longer feels like it fits properly.)

Does underdressing at work drain off some of my sexual tension... I dunno, plausibly, but I'm not aware of it having that effect: panties are just the "right" clothes now. But I guess it would be fair to say that wearing my mid-sized (38DD) forms at work might perhaps increase my sexual tension... I think I'm becoming a bit habituated to wearing my smaller (38C) forms at work... not that I do that often, but they are "getting comfortable" and I'm getting more likely to wear them "around" at work, as if they are "normal" for me.

(On a related note: outside of work, when I wear my 38DD forms, even in "guy mode", they just feel as if I "should" really have breasts that size, or perhaps even a bit larger. My 40G forms look great on me, and I've had more than one woman tell me seriously that the 40G forms look natural enough on my body that they were convinced the "breasts" were real and didn't believe me at first when I said they weren't. But 40G forms are 2 pounds each, and if I were somehow acquire that much real chest weight at this point in my life, the back ache probably wouldn't be much fun.... though of course the load would be spread out much further which would help a lot.... Anyhow, most of the time when I wear my 38DD, as long as I'm not wearing sometime stretchy that deliberately emphasizes the size, then even if I'm in guy mode, they are "just there", and just feel right/natural -- if I'm not flaunting (and I don't flaunt all that often), then I'm not aware of any "drain" of sexual tension, nor aware of any created sexual tension: wearing the forms is more like "completing" a part of me, not something to get excited about.)

[Deedee Dupree]

I guess for me, it seems to drain off a little sexual energy and allows me to stay on task. Is this the case with others? I would be especially interested in the experience of those who find CD'ing to be sexual.

Elizabeth, It's a pressure relief valve of "some kind" for you, but for me,

Mode #1:

As a rule, I don't mix dressing in any form with work, and can concentrate for very long periods of time without a break...

If I did dress while working and took a break, it would be a distraction, and if I didn't relieve the pressure of the distraction it would be frustrating.

However, when the work is done and it's time to get distracted I concentrate on it...

dd

P.S. Mode #2. During a break I might get stuck in front of the mirror looking adorable and forget about the job altogether. :)

[Sally2005]

For me, sometimes it is a mini vacation or a avoidance. If I have something that I really need to get done, but I really don't enjoy it instead of just jumping in and getting started (which usually allows me to finish) I start thinking about dressing. Actually dressing up is a great stress buster, but it is easy to be distracted by it. I have to kick myself and get the other stuff done sometimes. I think as far as using the brian goes, I can totally forget the complicated thoughts while I'm dressed and concentrate on looking and acting fem.

[sandra-leigh]

Actually dressing up is a great stress buster, but it is easy to be distracted by it

Interesting that I'm the opposite, that I get distracted by the thinking about dressing, but while I'm actually dressing then (providing I'm in something that isn't too revealing) I'm just "living", feeling comfortable. Though it is true that shoppiing for Tess can be pretty distracting, no matter how I'm dressed :heehee:

[LisaM]

Dressing has never been terribly sexual for me. I don't care about wearing specific items of clothing under my boy clothes. I only dress when I have the time to dress completely and stay dressed for a while.

I know this isn't helpful but it adds to the diversity.

[Ellen James]

Being fairly new to this, I don't have enough experience to draw really tight conclusions. That said, I think that for me there is a connection between dressing and sex - I'm not fully clear yet as to what that connection is. I do agree that there seems to be a level of sexual energy generated that creates a greater level of alertness and ability to concentrate (when properly channeled :o).

[cindym5_04]

There are times that I dress just because I enjoy it. Other times, it's like a mental break for me- I can step outside of my "normal" self for a bit.

[Sophia de la luz]

A new look or outfit that looks sexy will turn me on sometimes. I wear panties everyday. I enjoy the feeling of support that my external plumbing receives. Definitely not a distraction of any kind.
As long as the dressing is accelerating my energy and my thinking, it tends to help me get things done. And this is regardless of what it is, the task or the clothing.

[JenniferInUtah]

I have found that, sometimes just by wearing a bra and forms, that all my stress is relieved when i put them on. Its really quite amazing. Like i have taken Valium but in bra form.

[Veronica Lacey]

I am in a similar realm where dressing is as much a comfort and method of relaxation as it can be for an actual sexual turn on.

I always look forward to the times when I know that I can dress for a few hours straight such as this evening. It jumped into my mind at vaious idle points of the day at work and during the drive home. As I dressed I felt warm and involved in what I was putting on. As always once I was dressed and in heels I forget that I am wearing my silks and satins, stockings and heels and enjoy lounging, reading, computing, whatever in the home.

The softness of the satin blouse under my fingertips feels like a warm bath for the soul, the skirt brushing along my stockings adding a little charge to the sound of it in my ears. Just knowing that I can engage in such joy for several hours just allows me to almost forget about it at the same time.

To dress at work would be interesting but it likely could not work for me. I believe that over a few weeks one could easily forget that they are wearing panties, stockings, a blouse just as much as I forget now what shirt and underwear I put on under my jeans and sweater. To wear such things while driving, vacationing, shopping, visiting others would be satisfying in that, again, I would likely forget I was wearing such things unless I stopped to ponder it. This would be at lunch or during a restroom break as suggested in another post.

It is usually only by the end of my dressing time that I may feel truly sexually aroused. Yet if anything happens I tend to wish to dress very soon afterwards, within 15 minutes again.

Perhaps the first few weeks may dressing or underdressing may prove a distraction but after that I don't think so. Just an added bonus. I admit, I find the entire process confusing some times but that is not necessarily a bad situation. It simply suggests to me that I need to engage in more research :)

[sometimes_miss]

Crossdressing, as well as feeling female, is sort of a coping mechanism for me. Or, perhaps just giving in to avoiding doing it de-stresses me, I guess the stress of holding back the desire to CD when added to other stressors of life just gets to be too much. I guess I could drink, use drugs or something, but in lieu of a SO, I don't have the option that I want. So CD'ing makes me feel better, more completely than anything else other than a girlfriend.