Melissa A.
04-23-2009, 09:05 AM
I have always considered myself a Feminist. Even in the decades leading up to my transition, I was accutely aware of male privelege and the Patriarchal oppression Western society continues to advocate. My mom was somewhat involved in the women's movement in the late 60's and early 70's, albeit periphirally, and I would often read her copies of Ms. that were laying around the house. But being a biological male, and sometimes one who tried too hard to hang on to that role, I can't say that I was ever thoroughly educated in feminist theory. I never read "The Feminine Mystique". I never studied Women's studies in college. I am only just beginning to grasp and understand the concepts of Gender Constructs, Essentialism vs. socialization, how they are related, and the true differences between sex and gender, which can get pretty complicated.
I know quite a few gay and lesbian people, and while I've always been aware of the history of the relationships between GLB and T people, and some of the divides that exist, I never thought of it as a major issue. After all, All the GLB people I know are quite nice to me, at least when I'm around. I've never been barred from a women's restroom in a gay space, and all of my experiences regarding lesbians and feminists has been pretty positive. Even my therapist, who is lesbian, is a veteran of the Radical Feminist movement, and she herself is an advocate and an activist for transpeople. My life and transition itself, even, has undergone a slow transformation from dress-wearing crossdresser to an often tomboy-dressing woman who considers her femininity more of an inward expression, not a matter of what you wear, or how well you present yourself as "girlie", and this happened rather unconsciously, over time.
Since reading Julia Serano's "Whipping Girl" (absolutely groundbreaking, in my opinion), I've become a little more conscious of all this, and have been a little more forceful in declaring my feminism, from confronting men who want to get to know me better for all the wrong reasons, to being more vocal about the treatment of women, even the cruel jokes I hear from men at work. I read her chapters on the divide between the Radical Feminist world and transsexuals, and have read on the internet all about the theories and rants of Janice Raymond, Germaine Greer, and Julie Bittner. But I thought, "it can't be that bad, can it? I'm a feminist, they're feminists. There must be some common ground, and room for agreement".
Boy, was I wrong.
I went to the disscussion forum at the Michigan Women's Music Festival Site, an event held every summer, a "womyn-born-womyn only" event. I really didnt go there to argue. Really just to look around, and maybe learn something. I thought it would be interesting. When I got to the section on gender expression and Politics, I proceeded to read, for the next few hours, dozens and dozens and dozens of posts full of abject hate, venom, and vitriol directed at transwomen. This stuff was so nasty I was shocked to the point of being speechless. Then I got angry. That's when the arguing started. I hastilly wrote a post scolding the rigid and closed-minded thinking these women were expressing. It didnt take long before I was attacked repeatedly, for "invading their space" and just by my very existence, co-opting and appropriating woman's identities. It didnt get any better once I made it clear I was trying to understand their stance on Michigan. I was still "Mentally ill". "Completely deluded" . Called "dude" and "Mr. guy" repeatedly. Funny, they can be as nasty as they want to to me, but I stand up for myself, and it's clear that my expression "only proves that I'm a pushy male afflicted with feelings of male privelege". Nothing, NOTHING I said was believed, or taken seriously in any way, from the smallest comment, to the most important. I was told that I am involved in just another form of gender constructs that kill, maim and oppress women. That I am ill. that I'm nothing more than a gynophile. There is no middle ground to these people, and they really think the tide is turning in their favor, and that "So called transsexual men"(their term, not mine) have overplayed their hand and are due for a major backlash.
I had to give up, which I do not like doing. But The whole thing became an exercise in total futility. The atitudes I ran into are, to me, far worse than the uneducated, bigoted ones I run into out in the world. And far more hurtful. They are, at all cost to logic, common sense, and in my opinion, decency and any sembelence of empathy, embracing the worst, most trans-mysoginistic, and badly done reasearch on transsexualism ever done, simply because it fits their rigid and limited view of feminism. Of course, when I say that, I'm once again, just showing my male ignorance and feelings of entitlement. There is no winning with these people. The only thing that gives me solace over this is that I know most of the Feminist world, lesbian world, or combination thereof, do not feel this way, or condone this kind of hate and rigidity. Otherwise, it was a very hurtful experience. I really, really wish all of this wasn't so. I think we can all do better. But my words fell on deaf ears.
Anyway, I got out with my womanhood intact. a little scarred, and perhaps a little wiser.
Hugs,
Melissa :)
I know quite a few gay and lesbian people, and while I've always been aware of the history of the relationships between GLB and T people, and some of the divides that exist, I never thought of it as a major issue. After all, All the GLB people I know are quite nice to me, at least when I'm around. I've never been barred from a women's restroom in a gay space, and all of my experiences regarding lesbians and feminists has been pretty positive. Even my therapist, who is lesbian, is a veteran of the Radical Feminist movement, and she herself is an advocate and an activist for transpeople. My life and transition itself, even, has undergone a slow transformation from dress-wearing crossdresser to an often tomboy-dressing woman who considers her femininity more of an inward expression, not a matter of what you wear, or how well you present yourself as "girlie", and this happened rather unconsciously, over time.
Since reading Julia Serano's "Whipping Girl" (absolutely groundbreaking, in my opinion), I've become a little more conscious of all this, and have been a little more forceful in declaring my feminism, from confronting men who want to get to know me better for all the wrong reasons, to being more vocal about the treatment of women, even the cruel jokes I hear from men at work. I read her chapters on the divide between the Radical Feminist world and transsexuals, and have read on the internet all about the theories and rants of Janice Raymond, Germaine Greer, and Julie Bittner. But I thought, "it can't be that bad, can it? I'm a feminist, they're feminists. There must be some common ground, and room for agreement".
Boy, was I wrong.
I went to the disscussion forum at the Michigan Women's Music Festival Site, an event held every summer, a "womyn-born-womyn only" event. I really didnt go there to argue. Really just to look around, and maybe learn something. I thought it would be interesting. When I got to the section on gender expression and Politics, I proceeded to read, for the next few hours, dozens and dozens and dozens of posts full of abject hate, venom, and vitriol directed at transwomen. This stuff was so nasty I was shocked to the point of being speechless. Then I got angry. That's when the arguing started. I hastilly wrote a post scolding the rigid and closed-minded thinking these women were expressing. It didnt take long before I was attacked repeatedly, for "invading their space" and just by my very existence, co-opting and appropriating woman's identities. It didnt get any better once I made it clear I was trying to understand their stance on Michigan. I was still "Mentally ill". "Completely deluded" . Called "dude" and "Mr. guy" repeatedly. Funny, they can be as nasty as they want to to me, but I stand up for myself, and it's clear that my expression "only proves that I'm a pushy male afflicted with feelings of male privelege". Nothing, NOTHING I said was believed, or taken seriously in any way, from the smallest comment, to the most important. I was told that I am involved in just another form of gender constructs that kill, maim and oppress women. That I am ill. that I'm nothing more than a gynophile. There is no middle ground to these people, and they really think the tide is turning in their favor, and that "So called transsexual men"(their term, not mine) have overplayed their hand and are due for a major backlash.
I had to give up, which I do not like doing. But The whole thing became an exercise in total futility. The atitudes I ran into are, to me, far worse than the uneducated, bigoted ones I run into out in the world. And far more hurtful. They are, at all cost to logic, common sense, and in my opinion, decency and any sembelence of empathy, embracing the worst, most trans-mysoginistic, and badly done reasearch on transsexualism ever done, simply because it fits their rigid and limited view of feminism. Of course, when I say that, I'm once again, just showing my male ignorance and feelings of entitlement. There is no winning with these people. The only thing that gives me solace over this is that I know most of the Feminist world, lesbian world, or combination thereof, do not feel this way, or condone this kind of hate and rigidity. Otherwise, it was a very hurtful experience. I really, really wish all of this wasn't so. I think we can all do better. But my words fell on deaf ears.
Anyway, I got out with my womanhood intact. a little scarred, and perhaps a little wiser.
Hugs,
Melissa :)