Couple of Questions

[Kolokea GG]

I have been wondering some things and hope I can get POV from all. I am just trying to understand things.

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?
2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

[Miranda09]

When I comment on others posts, sometimes I'm in guy, other times I'm in Femme mode. Last night for example, I spent the entire evening enFemme reading the posts and commenting. As for feeling guilty about wearing your girlie stuff and makeup, why the guilt? It is who you are. Your SO, I'm sure, wouldn't have it any other way. :)

[Kolokea GG]

I get it because..I was playing ball with my son and my SO said yo throw like a girl, and without a thought my typical reply to anyone is well that's cause I am one. I know he was jk when he said gesh talk about throwing it in my face, but he put that nugget there....

[Satrana]

1. Most members use this opportunity to enter fem mode - for some it is the only opportunity to interact with others and present themselves as fem.

2. Hell no, CDs love displays of all femininity, the more fem you are the happier your SO will be. We are just girly at heart. He does not blame you for society's prejudices

[curse within]

Question is ..Did your son throw like a girl:D..

I wouldn't feel quilty that is who you are 24/7

[Mirani]

Dear Kolokea,
Never stop being YOU!

CDers are always on about the "freedom to be me" . . . you have that same right. It is lovely that you are sensitive to your SO.
However, dont stop being you. x

[Holly]

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you in fem or in guy mode?Speaking for myself, I'm in "me" mode, meaning that Holly and "him" are one in the same.


2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.Never feel guilty about being who you are. That's the point that we CDers are trying to get to ourselves.

[Miranda09]

I get it because..I was playing ball with my son and my SO said yo throw like a girl, and without a thought my typical reply to anyone is well that's cause I am one. I know he was jk when he said gesh talk about throwing it in my face, but he put that nugget there....

Well, you know him better than anyone. I wouldn't read too much into tho. Anyway, the reason why girls throw like girls is because they don't practice throwing like guys do. Ever see women softball players? They throw like guys because that's what they practice at.

[Kolokea GG]

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you in fem or in guy mode?


I shall correct myself and reword the question.

When posting a comment on a pics are thinking like a girl or gut when looking and commenting on it?

[Miranda09]

I'm thinking like a girl..In fact, when on this website, psychologically, I'm totally in feminine mode.

[Ellen James]

I shall correct myself and reword the question.

When posting a comment on a pics are thinking like a girl or gut when looking and commenting on it?

I'm thinking like Ellen :) - as noted by others, being on this forum has offered me a lot more opportunities to explore who Ellen is and at least for me appears to have made it easier to cope with the fact that I have only limited opportunities to dress (though :o I am wearing panties under my jeans right now as I prepare to do some yard work).

[Nicole Erin]

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you in fem or in guy mode?

2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

1. I don't know about that one. I find women more attractive so either they look good or not. If I see something they could improve I will say.

2. See some TG talk about feeling jealous of their female SO when she is dolled up... I never did understand this. To me that is kind of immature. According to society's silly rules, women and men are suppose to wear certain things, why get jealous of a GG for dressing the part?

I never enjoy having to wear stupid male clothing but on the rare occasion that I do, I don't look at my wife and feel jealous.

Don;t feel guilty. For real, what are you suppose to wear?

[Kendra08]

1. I am rarely on here dressed, but I am Kendra, I feel the same way in guy or fem dress.

2. I don't think you should feel guilty as long as you're being you.
Kendra

[Lisa Golightly]

1. I'm just a girl... :)

2. Give up my makeup for someone? Like hell... lol ;)

[TxKimberly]

I have been wondering some things and hope I can get POV from all. I am just trying to understand things.

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you in fem or in guy mode?

2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

1 Personally, if I'm dressed I'll be out doing something for all the time and effort spent. i wont be sitting at the PC posting.
2 No way in hell you should feel guilty. While we clearly like and want to be pretty ourselves, I should imagine that most of us still take pleasure in our wives looking their best too.

[deja true]

1) I'm in deja-mode when I'm here, whether I'm dressed in anything at all or nothing at all (TMI?) or somewhere in between. (In fact, when I get dressed for me, I'm not gonna waste time sitting and typing when I can be taking pictures or cleaning house or moving around with a lot of trips back and forth between the mirrors. I wanna hear those heels on that tile floor!)

2) Hunny, if I was your guy, and I had to be in guy mode, I'd prefer that you be your very own beautiful self. He loves you and his reward is getting to look at your lovely feminine self. If I'm not wrong here, you are his inspiration not his competition. :)

(And please don't feel that he's NOT your competition either. You're not cats glaring at each other across the food bowl with hackles raised. You're bff's. There's enough "pretty" for both of you. Now lick and make up!)

;)...:)

[Jolene]

I am Jolene most of the time now in my mind. Dressing is my outward expression of her side of me. Being here gives me a comfort that I am not alone, that there are others like me.
Just Be Yourself. :)

When I am here sometimes I am dressed in fem clothes, sometimes I am not.

[Marissa]

1. With limited chances to dress, most of my posting are in drab (ok, maybe nice panties underneath :o). But depending on the topic or girl decides which mode (pschologically speaking) my response is in. Responses vary since some girls (Lisa G :daydreaming:) bring out the guy side..while other times its all girl responding..

2. you should never feel bad about being a girl, including wearing makeup and attire.. for those of us with limited dressing time, sure we can feel a bit of jealousy..but knowing how lucky you are to be able to be you is even more overwhelming. :daydreaming:

[Jilmac]

Whenever I post a comment on someone's photo, I'm thinking like a girl complimenting another girl. Secondly, You don't have to feel guilty about being a girl and wearing girly things i.e. makeup, pretty clothes, accessories, that's what girls do. My wife was very disapproving of my dressing, but when she got herself dolled up. I was always proud to be by her side.
I have been wondering some things and hope I can get POV from all. I am just trying to understand things.

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?
2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

[Andrea's Lynne]

1. I'd have to say neither .....I feel like I'm just a human being who enjoys seeing teh beautiful ladies on this forum. I look at their femininity as an art form.

2. Be as girly as YOU want to be. I don't get to dress much (except under) but I ADORE to see my wife get dolled up.

[DonnaT]

#1 (amended ;) ) I don't think as a girl. Never been one, and wouldn't know how. I make comments as myself, and I happen to be a guy.

#2 Don't make changes to your appearance just because your SO can't. If you want to wear something that makes you feel good, then do so. That's what we do, or want to do, too. :)

[Sophie Lynne]

1) When I comment I am thinking like me. I am me, and I am a guy. Yes I occasionally dress like a girl, but I am male. :)

2) Don't feel guilty being who you are. He understands, I'm sure.

[Kate Simmons]

1. Neither. It is an objective opinion.

2. Nope.

[Persephone]

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?

Definitely girl mode here.

(I know that some might say that we really can't do "girl mode" since we weren't born female, but whatever we were born with that is powerful enough to push us into perceiving ourselves that way and, given the variety of genetic women out there in the world, we probably fall at least somewhere into the spectrum. Couple that with years of female association, living in "girl world," and I feel comfortable with my answer.)


2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

It is so nice of you to think about that! But how do you feel about being prettier, cuter, better dressed when you encounter some other woman? How about if that woman is your sister or your best friend? I would feel that this is very similar.

Hugs,
Persephone.

[Teri Jean]

When responding to a thread or a photo, I think as myself (male/female). Being single I do not consider how I dress or how much when on-line but when visiting with those that knows I have to remember not to overdress to the point they feel uncomfortable being "underdressed". Now if they want to see the new dress or top or skirt, then I will dress accordingly. Dress as you feel comfortable because the point of dressing is to express you femininity not the otherway around. My 2 cents.

Keli

[Pink Person]

I generally don't look at people's photos and have only commented once on someone's appearance. I deleted that comment shortly after I made it.

I think you should be as feminine as you desire. You will not be happy if you edit your gender expression to please someone else.

[Sheila]

Kolokea, hun you wear what you want when you want, you encourage and enable Steph as we know, don't allow his/her jealousy of you as a GG to intimidate you into dressing down.

You are you, and have the right to express who you are whenever you want and in what way you want, and after all you are allowing Steph that same freedom :)

[Joanne f]

To be fair i very rarely look at the photos and as far as i know i have never made a comment but if i did it would just be me thinking as i do not know the difference between Girl or Guy but most of the time i look at things from the perspective of a girl.
No you should not feel guilty for wearing makeup and i hope that you are not being made to feel guilty .
I have the feeling that these questions have a deeper meaning to them but i hope that i am wrong .

[Sandra]

Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.


Why should you feel guilty? Just becasue your SO can't does not mean you can't or shouldn't.

[Kolokea GG]

Definitely girl mode here.



It is so nice of you to think about that! But how do you feel about being prettier, cuter, better dressed when you encounter some other woman? How about if that woman is your sister or your best friend? I would feel that this is very similar.



I don't think about that really... I am comfortable in my own skin and how I dress(especially since I have lost a lot weight). I may look at another woman and say I like that out fit or hair style, but I don't ever feel like anyone is better or not. Life is not a competition in my eyes. We are who we choose to be. I just don't want to hurt any feelings a long the way.


My question on the commenting on pics was just what are you (cders..ect) thinking. Really are you thinking as a fellow girl and think what a nice outfit...or dare I say it but thinking as a man and saying in your head..man I'd like to have a piece of that.:o My SO can really pass as a woman. I compliment and praise..just as I would for my girls or my peeps, but if I ever said anything of color or sexual I think I just might get B**** slaped.

Just to set the record straight......Steph and I are fine. I asked question one outta curiosity really....just wondering myself.

Question 2 was because I just want to see others opinions. I am truely just not trying to hurt Steph feelings and didn't know how anyone else felt. I was just curious. I am cautious of what I do or say..for the sake of feelings as I would hope she would do the same for me.

Just because I have questions doesn't mean there are problems.:hugs:

[curse within]

Just because I have questions doesn't mean there are problems.:hugs:


That's why your here this is a great resource and straight to the issue's on hand ..

Hope the answers are helping.... BTW.. I may compliment but never will it be as a sexual jester.. It would be in a motivation suggestion strickly or felt abliged to return one back..:D

[Joanne f]

Sorry if i am looking to deep ( i am inclined to do that ) one of my bad habits :D but have you ever thought that maybe you are trying a bit to hard at being cautious.

[Kolokea GG]

When it comes to the one I love..I think I can never be to cautious..there are times when I think I am be cautious and end up puking out my mouth once again. Until I know my own bounderies I will be cautious.

[Diane Smith]

1) I'm not sure I have separate "guy" and "girl" sides, mentally, anymore. But when I visit this forum, I'm definitely in a feminine space, regardless of what I may be wearing behind the screen.

2) I appreciate any expression of feminine beauty no matter by whom or under what conditions. You shiuld be as pretty as you want to be, whenever you want. I'm sure your SO and others can appreciate it.

- Diane

[curse within]

When it comes to the one I love..I think I can never be to cautious..there are times when I think I am be cautious and end up puking out my mouth once again. Until I know my own bounderies I will be cautious.

I am sorry Kolokea, I may be off base some what but I do sence that you have some wheels turning inside your head.. I know this is new ground for you and much is needed to learn and understand.

Even though you may not have any troubles at this point with your S.O. you feel that you are on some shaky ground. That's a normal feeling , I wouldn't doubt for one second that your S.O. as supportive as you seem would not understand your urge to want to understand even more . How we do that is by asking questions..

Good luck I am inspired to see any GG comeing here looking to support the one they love..

[Tora]

A comment on someone's photo is almost neutral, looking good is looking good, to both genders. Karren, Kimberly, Joan and many others have mastered a very pretty, femme look. No one would comment on your shoes or skirt, if your five o'clock shadow looked like it was mid-night.

Koko, be as pretty and made-up as you feel. With this group you will recieve sincere Bravo's because we know the effort it required. By the way you have a cute photo.

[Leslie Mary S]

I have been wondering some things and hope I can get POV from all. I am just trying to understand things.
1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?

I post depending on what I see. I am a photographer first. I am a male by upbringing and a female at heart. I take into consideration all three when I make a comment. The final factor as rough as it may be to swallow is the truth. I normally will post difficult comments as a private message. I follow the old military concept of compliments are said in public and reprimands are said in private.


2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know Some can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.
This is a decision that you have to make personally.
I, myself, will wear what I feel like wearing when I think I can get away with it without hurting anyone, including myself.
Not always am I correct on my evaluation of this.

[curse within]

You must not have followed the soap opera that Kolokea and My life...I made many of the common CD mistakes when I came out to her followed by the typical GG questions and responses to it. There was some shaky ground in the start, but between a new found communication between us and the wonderful friends we've made here (you know who you are :clap: ) have really help us through some trying times. I understand her need to procede with caution, I was in a very fragile emotional state when everything came out and the lack of knowledge on either part made it difficult. I do still do stupid things from time to time (who doesn't) but I know enough to admit when I'm in the wrong when I am now.


Don't worry too much if you're not sure how to answer #1, I wasn't either other than I am posting as me, I just put to much testosterone(ick!)into my responses aparently...

I really havn't, I have been gone for a little more than a month or so, Testoserone kicked in as well..

I have to say tho "Thank you both!!" this is indeed a special previlege to see this unfold.. You both really should recieve praise from many as what you are doing is real .. This should be lessons learned and earned for both CDers and S.O.'s.

This is very brave to bring these issues out for all .Not only are you learning but some of us arelearning as well.. Real people with real issues ..

Thanks.

[Jonianne]

I am so glad you and your SO are both on here. That makes for some interesting dynamics. Please continue to share your heart.


.......1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?

I also can only think as me, which is neither female or stereotypical male. When I see other cd'ers pictures, I see them as a fellow cd'er and if I post, I try to be encouraging. I do not see other cd'ers as GG females or feel attracted to them in that sense. So I think to answer your question, in a cd way, I see and comment on their female appearance like one (not so great) artist would comment on another artist's work.



2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

I think its pretty unaminus, we want you to feel good about being yourself and certainly not guilty. How could we otherwise? How blessed your SO is to have you and you her. Just keep loving each other. What a cute couple!

[Dressing Jill]

Well I am just who I am. But of course I live alone and don't have to put up with all of that crap. Except in public and it is just clothing with them. I don't throw like a girl as I was raised as a boy also had 4 sisters maybe thats why I don't think about what I say, it just comes natural.

Today I am working on my camper. I have an apron on and a canvas bag that looks like a purse that I made to carry stuff, it hangs over my shoulder. My neighbor seen it for the first time and ask if I was going to start wearing a dress next. LOL
They think I am a artist with all the colors in my house and my camper.LOL.... I love them they are so sweet to me. They have never mentioned my salon nails.LOL......

Hugs

Jill




I still cry every time I get on this site. It is so refreshing to find others that are like me and identify with both genders, Most people are confused with the concept.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I have been wondering some things and hope I can get POV from all. I am just trying to understand things.

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?
2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

I have not read through the previous responses, so my apologies if I just repeat what has been said.

1. When I comment on a cd photo, I am fully aware of what it is I am looking at. Even so, I can still appreciate a "hot babe" when I see one. In short, I am commenting on a presentation of feminine beauty. I admire the appearance, look, style, and art of the presentation... and often find myself a little on the jealous side. :heehee:

2. You should not feel guilty for wearing makeup and girlie stuff when your SO cannot. One should not feel guilty for being themselves or presenting themselves as they choose to. If it bothers your SO, perhaps you need to discuss the matter with him and work it out between the two of you. One should not restrict the other though - that is my take on it.

For the record - my wife dresses and often presents herself in a way I wish I could more often, but I can't because of a busy life. I LOVE when she gets all sexied up, regardless of whether or not I can myself. At least I can still admire her beauty. But that's just me.

[Nicki B]

I have been wondering some things and hope I can get POV from all. I am just trying to understand things.

1. When you post comment on each other photos are you thinking like a girl or a guy?

Personally, I'm 'me' all the time - there isn't a difference? :)


2. Should I feel guilty for wearing my make up and girlie stuff when I know So can't? I do, so I find myself not wearing much at all now.

Perhaps, when your SO can't, share with him? Let him join in vicariously? :)



#1 (amended ;) ) I don't think as a girl. Never been one, and wouldn't know how. I make comments as myself, and I happen to be a guy.

Donna, there's a deeply caring, motherly, streak in everything you post.. ;)

[Carly D.]

Right now I am wearing tights and my booties heels but I can be wearing more or less female attire or even no womens clothing at all (naked??) but my mental state remains ninety percent Carly anyway..