for the married cders

[Presh GG]

Wondering if you cders with wives/ long term s/os can tell when we [ ggs ] really NEED the man in you ?
Is it just me that has to tell you apart, The man / women today ?

This is from my heart
springtime gg

[Joanne f]

Lets just say that it is not difficult to tell when a GG wants a man :D

[Jessica Who]

Although I'm not perfect, I can tell when there are times that she needs me to be manly for her. It could be at anytime, and I always ask if it's okay before dressing. Most of the time it's fine with her.

I'd say that right now we have a very good balance that we have worked very hard to achieve.

[Presh GG]

thank you , i don't mean phisically so much as male support , if that makes sense.
springtime

[curse within]

Wondering if you cders with wives/ long term s/os can tell when we [ ggs ] really NEED the man in you ?
Is it just me that has to tell you apart, The man / women today ?

This is from my heart
springtime gg

Springtime,

When I was with my wife I was all man no matter what..That is just me as I never inspired to become a female. I would only satisfy the urge to FEEL fem, I would have to say all answers here would have to be different because it would depend on the spectrum as to which your S.O. falls.

Now my answer may spark arguement but it to is from the heart..

[Maxi]

No matter how you dress me, I'm still a guy in a dress, and always there for her. The clothing does not change the person, just makes him comfortable.

[Shelly67]

Well although I love being shelly , if the need arose for support my maleness is forthright . I think its a poor old world if a partner cannot be there no matter what the situation . I also think its probably a little ignorant if we cannot see the time when we.re called upon . Ignorance is not bliss .We assume our female partners are to accept us , I think its only right we return the gesture with understanding and strength .
This is quite an indepth ponderous subject . Guys are normally pretty thick skinned , and I personally think for those of us who crossdress at times some of us have skin thicker than a rhino . Of late theres been quite a few threads on selfishness ect . I think theres an awful lot of us who have become blinkered and almost blinded by our desire to feel femanine . We can very easily lose touch with our reality , and sadly that can contribute to both non support and even lies .Some of us even take risks . Tis a measure of both we need to balance , but more important than anything , we need to recognise the time of support should always take presidence over the urge to dress as a women . We should'nt lose touch with ourselves .
I can only consider this as right as at times I,ve been called to be the supportive one , the head of the house .

Indeed , be a man .

[Teddie]

Lets just say that it is not difficult to tell when a GG wants a man :D

Yep. It's easy. Especially in a long term relationship. :daydreaming:

[Joanne f]

thank you , i don't mean phisically so much as male support , if that makes sense.
springtime
I would like to think that my wife can count on my support at any time about any thing as i am always willing to give it ( sounds a bit corny i know ):heehee:

[TJ Tresa]

Personnaly I try very hard to be there for my wife no matter what. Most of the time she doesn't have to tell me she needs her man for emotional support. However there has been a couple of times that she just wanted her man for snugling and I missed it. There has also beeen times she needed emotional support from her girl friend and I would go change.
Sometimes she has to tell me which she needs to be with, and I am always more thatn willing to comply. I love to wear women's clothing, but nothing is worth my wife hurting.
I don't know if I have answered your question or not. But I hope you understnad that it is different for each individual couple. You may have to let him know in suttle tones or ways that you need a strong arm to lean on.
I certainly hope everything works out for the two of you. Best wishes - TJ Tresa.

[Sarah_GG]

Can I just add, as a GG, I'm not always brilliant about saying what I really want. It is possible for me to say "Of course darling!" when I really mean "Oh gawd do you have to!" because I sometimes expect my SO to be a mind/mood reader. He isn't. He never has been and he never will be! I am learning to say what I mean. I'm also learning that it's ok for me to say what I mean and that it doesn't necessarily end in sulks or moods... as long as I'm truthful about how I feel.

:)

[Jonianne]

Excelent post Sarah, most all the time I know when my Angel needs my manly arms around her, but I would feel more secure knowing she doesn't just depend on me always knowing what she wants. I want her to feel free to let me know when she needs me, and I will drop everything and come running.

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I spend very little time in girl-mode (busy life), so my wife rarely (if ever) has to request my man-side - it's usually present and very visible.

Even so, she is usually pretty blunt and to the point. She speaks what's on her mind without hesitation. When I go overboard talking about cding, she'll tell me when she's had enough. That's about as closely as I can contribute.

If the time were to come when I could explore my femme-side more often and Mrs. H. wanted Gabe rather than Gabrielle, she would simply let me know in no uncertain terms. She does not beat around the bush.

I think if there are gg's out there who have trouble letting their cding husband/SO know about wanting some man-time, the key is communication. Let your desires be known, and I think they might be met. If you keep it to yourself, for whatever reason, you'll probably just have to deal with the results of failed communication. If you let your desires known and she doesn't want to become a he again... that's an entirely different subject.

[Roxi Loh]

I am most times in male mode and have not been required to take that role. At the same time, I agree with comments that we have to be sensitive to our so's and go overboard to make them comfortable with the balance. I think it is all about balance. Just my two cents...hugs

[TxKimberly]

Gotta be honest, my wife often has to use the equivalent of a baseball bat to get my attention sometimes. :(
Poor woman - I'd have dumped me years ago . . . :)

[Holly]

Springtime, the honest answer from me is sometimes I can and sometimes I can't. But for me, at least, there isn't a whole lot of difference between the support I give my wife because I have been melding the masculine/feminine within me for some years now. Giving my wife something than my support as a whole person somehow seems like it would be cheating her out of something. And as people grow older, it's not unusual for their needs to change as well. My wife doesn't seem to need my masculinity to validate her femininity nearly as much as when we were first married.

[Sherry-Stephanie]

Oh yeah!!!!!! been there and done that....

Sure do and then some....

My wife pretty much laid it down when I first started dressing about a year or so ago that she was more interested in having a man and not a female living in the house....not that she was against Stephanie being there from time to time but she wasn't looking for Stephanie to be there ALL the time either....

So that brought about a certain balance that was needed....so basically Stephanie comes around usually on weeknds while the wife is working...not that she's hiding because sometimes she's there when the wife comes home....but when the man is needed by the wife then the man is there..only fair and also it's part of the balancing between the guy and girl within me....after all wifey is more important in the grande scheme of things....

Steve/Stephanie....

[phballet]

actually i think thats a fanstatic question. for me it may be a little different from others...i'm still a guy inside who loves dressing up and being a gal when i can. but down to it there are still roles and responsibilities i have to take as the man of the house. i guess for me its just easier to distinguish the guy side and the gal side of me. if you know me as a guy you would never think samantha existed.

which is also why i'm struggling a little on this CD issue...sometimes i wish it had never happened to me so that i would not think twice about this. but i guess i shd stop thinking abt it this way and just enjoy what i am!

[Debutante]

My wife says to me that she DOES need a man. She is bi, has been in two female realtionships, but she is committed to ME... and longs for the male. Meanwhile, I look for my femme self... quite a delimma, no?

[BLUE ORCHID]

after 45years together I know my boundrys. when to and when not to.
Yes I'd say ORCHID knows When to get back into the closet
and when it's safe to come back out.
Play by the rules and nobody gets hurt!!!!!!
IT WORKS FOR ME.
.................................................. ...thanks..........ORCHID

[AshleyCDFL]

I think most of the time, the wife would rather have the man around, that's why she married me. She's very supportive, but she's gotten to a point that she'd rather let me be Ashley when she's not around. She's alright with it, but would much rather have her guy around, I don't blame her really, I guess I get kinda tied up in my own little world when I dress... When we go shopping, I'm not always looking for something for Ashley, so when I am, I let her know and she'll help me pick something out. I think if I was always looking she would definitely get a little turned off by the me, me, me. Women like attention, and as their men, we owe it to them to make them feel special, after all that's what most women like... It's a delicate balance, but you just have to take their perspective to begin to understand.

[Joan_CD]

I asked my wife what her thoughts were about this question. She said... it doesn't matter how I am dressed. She only sees me. And that is just ONE reason why I love her so much!

[Bethany38]

I am with Kimberly on this one. Break out the ball bat `cause sometimes I am a little thick headed

[Sophie Lynne]

As my wife doesn't know about my dressing, it's not an issue.

That said, I think all guys get a little hung up on their own lives sometimes. Kimberly's wife isn't the only one needing a baseball bat.

[Sophia de la luz]

My Wife has been very clear about her needs around "manliness." It includes me working(contributing to the family $$$ trip), fixing stuff that is beyond her, and good times sexually. She also wants me to keep up a body that is muscular and strong. She does not want a femme guy, that is a weakling who doesn't do much of anything of use. She is ok with a real guy who wears woman's clothing whenever, however, he wants to.