The Ladies' Room

[sportschick]

Here's one for any GG's who care to respond( all cd'rs are also welcome to weigh in)I saw a question in the female to male forum from a FTM cd'r asking about standard men's rm protocol. Interesting to see the responses about what is second nature to us. For example, no acknowleging the existence of the guy next to you at the urinal, try not to stand next to another guy unless you have to, stare straight ahead while peeing, no talking.

Is there a standard op. procedure in the ladies room? Do most women wash hands and check themselves in the mirror before leaving. talk to each other, etc. Is there much fussing with hair or makeup? Are there absolute no-no's to avoid in the ladies room that would be dead giveaways if you might otherwise pass?

[emmicd]

I ventured out en femme only once and was very careful when using the woman's bathroom. That was the first and only time. One thing I notice about women's bathrooms in office buildings is that they sometimes have a sitting room before you even enter the bathroom facilities. Women are definitely more sociable and have been known to go in pairs usually when on a double date. I guess the're talking about us guys as they wander off to the bathroom and do what girls do.

Emmi

[Julie]

Yeah, walk into the stall, lock the door, do your business and flush!

Oh you mean afterwards? Yes, make sure you look your best. That's why they have mirrors.

[Cindy K]

wash hands then check make up and hair

[Rachel Ann]

The one time I went to a public ladies' room, I was lucky enough to have someone more experienced and passable to go with me. Her instructions:

1. Be looking for something in your purse as you walk in so that your hair partially obscures your face.

2. DON'T SPEAK. If anyone speaks to you, pretend not to know English, to be deaf, or whatever it takes.

3. Remember to keep your knees together when sitting on the toilet.

4. Wash your hands.

5. Don't forget to check your face and hair in the mirror before leaving.

Anyway, it worked.

Rachel xx

[JoAnnDallas]

Rachel..... if your avatar is really you, why would you want to have such a lovely face.

[Julie]

The one time I went to a public ladies' room, I was lucky enough to have someone more experienced and passable to go with me. Her instructions:

1. Be looking for something in your purse as you walk in so that your hair partially obscures your face.

2. DON'T SPEAK. If anyone speaks to you, pretend not to know English, to be deaf, or whatever it takes.

3. Remember to keep your knees together when sitting on the toilet.

4. Wash your hands.

5. Don't forget to check your face and hair in the mirror before leaving.

Anyway, it worked.

Rachel xx

If you use the ladies room in a gay bar only #4 and #5 apply :eyes:

[Marla GG]

The advice so far has been right on :)

If a woman goes into the restroom with a friend or acquaintance, it's normal to chat while waiting for a stall and even while using adjoining stalls. This is also true of bathrooms at work--if you meet a coworker in the bathroom, even if you don't know them well, you are expected to acknowledge them and perhaps make small talk. Personally, it irritates me when a coworker I barely know (I work in a large building with many employees) is yakking away to me from outside the stall while I do my business. But it happens regularly.

In a public bathroom, it's fairly rare (though not unheard of) for women who don't know one another to speak. If someone does speak, she will probably be complaining about how long the line is (when several women are waiting for a stall), asking another woman "are you in line?" (they might just be waiting for someone or waiting to use the sink), or commenting on the facilities if there is water on the floor or a lack of toilet paper or whatever. I agree, if you are a CD with a less than passable voice and someone speaks to you, it's probably safer not to speak back--just smile, or nod, or shake your head no. Many women would be very nervous and upset about a man being in the bathroom with them, and if they hold a stereotype of CDs being deviants or perverts, they may actually be afraid of you or they may think you are there as a voyeur.

One other thing no one has mentioned yet: after using the toilet and washing your hands, it's rude to stand in front of the sink primping and doing your makeup if others are waiting to wash their hands. A quick check of your hair and lipstick is okay, but you don't want to hog the space in front of the sinks if the restroom is crowded. Nicer facilities often have a separate mirror away from the sink area where you can apply makeup without being in the way.

I will leave it others to address the legal and safety issues....which have no doubt been discussed here many times already.

[Deidra Cowen]

Marla nailed it. Its shocking how much GGs chat in the restroom. While I was using the ladies room at Cowtippers (a steak house in atlanta) the GGs never stopped chattering the whole time. Even when they were sitting in the stalls!

A huge thing that I don't think I saw reading thru the posts on this thread is for you to....

SIT DOWN TO DO YOUR BUISNESS!!!

I understand at big socials in the recent past here in atlanta, Tgirls that went to the ladies room and stood to use the bathroom almost got the whole group kicked out of a resturant and then also at a Hotel. Anyway thats the story I was told on the way to use the restroom for the first time. The girls with me were warning me to sit down! LOL

Cool thread and good info!

[Rachel_740]

3. Remember to keep your knees together when sitting on the toilet.

I'm just thinking that you've locked yourself in the stall, sat down and doing what you have to do. Who knows if your knees are together or not? If you said your feet I can understand that.

It seems to me that a lot of GG's in the UK are more than happy to be chatting on the mobile while in the stalls too :rolleyes:

Anne

[Sara Kat]

In the men's bathroom speaking is forbidden...even if someone is dying in there it's iffy.

[Rachel Ann]

Who knows if your knees are together or not? If you said your feet I can understand that.
The position of your calves, ankles and feet are a giveaway to whether your knees are together or not. I say this as a medic who has sometimes had to go in to ladies' rooms to locate someone in a stall who was in distress and in need of help. (In drab, you make sure you are in uniform or at least carrying a stretcher, and shout "MAN COMING IN" at the door.)

[Maddie Knight]

I always sit down when in fem mode, so going to the ladies is not a problem.
However I tend not to hang around in there, do what I need, wash hands and go. The last thing you want is to be starting a conversation with someone.

[Rachel Ann]

Oh, I forgot # zero: Go with another Tgirl, if someone who is more passable than you is available.

Thanks, Marla, there is nothing like the advice of a GG. :)



SIT DOWN TO DO YOUR BUSINESS!!!
Gee, I thought that went without saying! But perhaps it needed to be said. I suppose that #3 is a corollary to this.



In the men's bathroom speaking is forbidden...even if someone is dying in there it's iffy.
There are extremely rare exceptions to this. One time I was at a urinal in a nightclub and couldn't help noticing that the guy next to me was counting a wad of bills that had to be at least 5 grand. He gave me partial eye contact and said "what the f***, over". I cracked up. :D



Rachel..... if your avatar is really you, why would you want to have such a lovely face.
Thank you! *blushes* I assume that you are referring to #1. Under bright lights and close scrutiny, its a little more difficult. And that av pic was taken right after a makeover!

[Sarah Cummings]

The advice so far has been right on :)

If a woman goes into the restroom with a friend or acquaintance, it's normal to chat while waiting for a stall and even while using adjoining stalls. This is also true of bathrooms at work--if you meet a coworker in the bathroom, even if you don't know them well, you are expected to acknowledge them and perhaps make small talk. Personally, it irritates me when a coworker I barely know (I work in a large building with many employees) is yakking away to me from outside the stall while I do my business. But it happens regularly.

In a public bathroom, it's fairly rare (though not unheard of) for women who don't know one another to speak. If someone does speak, she will probably be complaining about how long the line is (when several women are waiting for a stall), asking another woman "are you in line?" (they might just be waiting for someone or waiting to use the sink), or commenting on the facilities if there is water on the floor or a lack of <a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=24&k=toilet%20paper" onmouseover="window.status='<a style='text-decoration: none; border-bottom: 3px double;' href="http://www.serverlogic3.com/lm/rtl3.asp?si=24&k=toilet%20paper" onmouseover="window.status='toilet paper'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">toilet paper</a>'; return true;" onmouseout="window.status=''; return true;">toilet paper</a> or whatever. I agree, if you are a CD with a less than passable voice and someone speaks to you, it's probably safer not to speak back--just smile, or nod, or shake your head no. Many women would be very nervous and upset about a man being in the bathroom with them, and if they hold a stereotype of CDs being deviants or perverts, they may actually be afraid of you or they may think you are there as a voyeur.

One other thing no one has mentioned yet: after using the toilet and washing your hands, it's rude to stand in front of the sink primping and doing your makeup if others are waiting to wash their hands. A quick check of your hair and lipstick is okay, but you don't want to hog the space in front of the sinks if the restroom is crowded. Nicer facilities often have a separate mirror away from the sink area where you can apply makeup without being in the way.

I will leave it others to address the legal and safety issues....which have no doubt been discussed here many times already.
Hi Marla, you are such a sweetheart. For sometime I haven't had much chance to come on line and hang and do much. I still don't. Today is a chance for me to spend a little time and catch up a bit. When you mentioned about women suspecting men to be in the bathrooms to be a voyour, it reminded me of...when I used to live in Northern california doing Concert Security. The Shoreline Amphitheater has 4 large bathroom buildings. Each housing mens and womens restrooms. Several times that I would go into the mens bathrooms to do MY thing and would catch a female or two in there. I would tell them they have to go to the ladies facilitites. The guys would all yell "Let her stay" I'd say to them "Untill the day comes that I can walk in the ladies bathrooms without the ladies getting upset that there's a man in there, then ladies will not be allowed in the mens room!" :- :duh: The guys would say Yeah you know that won't happen anytime soon, I'd say so I guess the ladies won't be allowed in here anytime soon. I'd love to see "COED" restrooms. What are your thoughts Marla? Love Sarah.

[JoAnnDallas]

Once when I was sitting on the throne, doing my business, when there was a knock on the stall door and my assitances's voice said " Mr. Do.... your long distance call is here..." I said thank you" and she left. A couple of seconds later a voice from another stall said "Is she gone"........

[Rachel Ann]

I used to live in Northern california doing Concert Security. The Shoreline Amphitheater has 4 large bathroom buildings.
Were you a Bluecoat? I was, and I was also in Rock Med for almost 20 years. Worked at Shoreline many many times.



I'd love to see "COED" restrooms. What are your thoughts Marla? Love Sarah.
They have them backstage at the Oakland Arena. The ladies line up for the stalls and try to ignore the guys at the urinals.

[Marla GG]

I'd love to see "COED" restrooms. What are your thoughts Marla? Love Sarah.

Hiya Sarah. I have always been in favor of unisex restrooms. I used to be passionate about the issue back in my twenties when I was more idealistic and felt that segregated toilets were a barrier to achieving a truly egalitarian society. I would be happy to share a restroom with boys and men as long as they behaved themselves....but not all of them would, would they? And maybe the girls wouldn't either! Still, I would like to see it tried more and perhaps gradually introduced. Then Angel and I could go to the bathroom together. :) Also, moms could go to the bathroom with their six-to-twelve year old sons, and dads could accompany their daughters, rather than sending them all alone into the opposite sex restroom without knowing what might be going on in there.

I recently had a unisex toilet experience. It was in the very public and very busy Victoria Coach Station in London. There were no urinals of course, only stalls, but the stalls could be used by anyone and the sink/mirror area was shared. I thought it was cool, but I also felt a bit strange about touching up my foundation and putting on lipstick in front of everyone, so I didn't do that even though I had planned to. I'm not sure why I felt that way and I didn't analyze it at the time--I just washed my hands with a big bald guy at the sink next to me and my father-in-law two sinks down, and left. My only complaint is that I had to pay 20p for the privilege. Highway robbery!

I didn't notice if there was a tampon machine or a condom machine in there. Probably not. I imagine buying either of those things in a unisex toilet might be embarrassing.

[Sarah Cummings]

Were you a Bluecoat? I was, and I was also in Rock Med for almost 20 years. Worked at Shoreline many many times.



They have them backstage at the Oakland Arena. The ladies line up for the stalls and try to ignore the guys at the urinals.
Hi Rachel Ann, yes, in fact I was a bluecoat for seven years. Shoreline was my primary venue. I also worked BGP at Oakland collisium & Stadium, Cow palace, Henry J. Kaiser auditorium, Bill Graham civic (formally S.F. Civic), San Jose civic, etc. I remember Rock Med, Great bunch of people. half of them were stoners, great party people. Lol. So rachel when were you working there. I was at shoreline and BGP from 1987-1993. If you were there thru those times, ther's a chance I might know you. What city are you living in? I will private message you, k? Sarah. Ps. I do remember the unisex bathrooms at Oakland collisium now, I was there many times working during Grateful Dead shows and the after show parties that Bill Graham would throw for us after the dead shows were over on new years eves.

[Rachel Ann]

So rachel when were you working there. I was at shoreline and BGP from 1987-1993. If you were there thru those times, ther's a chance I might know you. What city are you living in?
I was active from '78 through '95 and am still "around". So I'm sure we know each other. I'm a deadhead too. Thanks for the PM, I sent you a reply.

Right now I live in Richmond, also the home of James Battle and Bo Diddley.

Rachel xx

p.s. Sorry to go off topic, everyone. I just couldn't pass up a chance to make contact with an old friend. If you're interested, see also http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=159845&postcount=14

[ronna]

I still say standing up to pee is un-ladylike!

[emmicd]

One thing I pondered about women and using the ladies room is this.

When I wear a womans swimsuit or body briefer and panty hose underneath my mens suit it is such a process to go! First you have to totally undress and it is such a hassle. As a guy it is so much easier!

That is why it takes girls so much longer!

Emmi

[Rachel Ann]

I still say standing up to pee is un-ladylike!
I don't see anyone arguing with you. Unless circumstances force you to.

[Tristen Cox]

I don't see anyone arguing with you. Unless circumstances force you to.
Yeah like there not being a toilet seat :eek: :whistle:

[Sarah Cummings]

Don't you hate when men leave the stupid toilet seat up? :Punch: :devious: :dead:

[Rachel_740]

Don't you hate when men leave the stupid toilet seat up? :Punch: :devious: :dead:

I hate it when GG's leave the seat up too - I'm still trying to work that one out but it does happen.

Anne

[Marla GG]

I hate it when GG's leave the seat up too - I'm still trying to work that one out but it does happen.

Anne

I know lots of gg's who don't sit down in pubic restrooms for hygeine reasons. Not that they're worried about catching a disease or anything--it's just that sometimes the seat isn't clean. I'll always sit if they have those paper toilet seat covers available, or alternatively you can "make" a seat cover out of toilet tissue (kind of like building a nest). The alternative is to straddle the toilet without touching it. Much easier if the seat is up. But leaving the seat up--well that's just plain rude :)

[JoAnnDallas]

Marla..... I have to ask this... how do you straddle a toilet set when you have your panties and pantyhose down. Do you take them off or what??

[Marla GG]

Marla..... I have to ask this... how do you straddle a toilet set when you have your panties and pantyhose down. Do you take them off or what??

Nah....you just back up to the toilet, pull them down below your knees, get your knees as far apart as you can and sort of hover over the toilet (like sitting on an invisible chair). You might need to push your undies forward to keep them out of the way. Ok, so I guess that's not really straddling.....and that's all I have to say about that!

[JoAnnDallas]

Closing my eyes...trying to picture Marla....nope don't want to go there... open eyes...LOL

[Marla GG]

Closing my eyes...trying to picture Marla....nope don't want to go there... open eyes...LOL


Why oh why did I join this forum....... :gnight:


Just kiddin' Joann :)

[JoAnnDallas]

Marla....... LOL Your a girl after my own heart. Your SO is SOOOOOO lucky.

[umbrellagirl GG]

Many great tips Marla. (I'm another GG).

I would SO like to see unisex "Ally McBeal" style bathrooms. I really hate that there is often a separate 'mens' and 'womens' room even when both are two identical little one-toilet-rooms. I simply use the men's room in those circumstances if the women's room is occupied. I have zero issues with that.

It surprising to me how much chatter is okay in a ladies room. I've gone into the girl's room with a friend before and had the conversation continue as we're sitting there ...

By the way, someone commented that you might want to be looking in your purse for something as you're heading into the women's room. If I saw someone searching her purse and heading for a stall, I would probably jump to the conclusion that she was looking for a tampon (I know that's probably a big leap) - but I would not find it weird at all, if a complete stranger in the ladies room asked me if I needed a tampon if she saw me digging through my purse.

Yes to what Marla said about no primping when there are other girls waiting for the sink to wash your hands! And although it is okay to primp a little in the women's room, I wouldn't go overboard with it.

If there is a long line at the ladies room, I think there is a small unwritten rule (not well observed though) that women who come in with squirmy tiny kids who have to "go" now get to take cuts. And obviously pregnant women somehow get a little priority too.

[Rachel Ann]

... You might need to push your undies forward to keep them out of the way ... I know lots of gg's who don't sit down in pubic restrooms for hygeine reasons. The alternative is to straddle the toilet without touching it.
Some years back, a device called “La Funelle” was introduced with great fanfare. The ad just said that it was a funnel-like device that would enable women to pee while standing. Buses and streetcars all over town were plastered with ads for it.

Apparently, it never caught on. It vanished as suddenly as it had appeared.




By the way, someone commented that you might want to be looking in your purse for something as you're heading into the women's room.
That would be me. The idea was to have my hair hanging down, partially concealing my face.



If I saw someone searching her purse and heading for a stall, I would probably jump to the conclusion that she was looking for a tampon (I know that's probably a big leap) - but I would not find it weird at all, if a complete stranger in the ladies room asked me if I needed a tampon if she saw me digging through my purse.
I must remember that. I often carry a tampon or pad in my purse for “camouflage”.



I simply use the men's room in those circumstances if the women's room is occupied. I have zero issues with that.
I’m sure that the men have zero issues with that too. The other way around, I'm not so sure.

I once had a gf who was – how can I say it? A walking blonde joke. One time we were somewhere and the men’s room had remained occupied for a long time, so she said “oh, just use the ladies’”. I couldn’t get it across to her that while the worst she would get for using the men’s room might be a catcall or two, but I could easily face arrest and worse for using the ladies’ room.

Rachel x

[sportschick]

Marla, thanks for input from the real McCoy. and thanks all the rest of you as well. I never bargained for so much response on this! Now I only need one more thing..the guts to do it! Happy peeing y'all!

[Clare]

Never been into a genuine ladies room.

At least i have learned some interesting things in this thread that i can utilise when (and i will someday) i have the need to use the girls facilities.

Christine

[Rachel Ann]

Never been into a genuine ladies room. At least i have learned some interesting things in this thread that i can utilise when (and i will someday) i have the need to use the girls facilities. Christine
Well said. One thing that we in California must remember (I don't know Australian law) is this: If and only if you are carrying a letter from a doctor saying that you are transitioning is it legal for a GM to enter a ladies' room. Even then they might arrest and charge you with some nonsense or other, depending on the prominence of the store and the vociferousness of the GG who turned you in.

Keep your powder dry, girls! :love:

Rachel x

[JoAnnDallas]

Speaking of the funnel ad, I was on the NASA team that helped modify the Zero-G torlit for women astronaunts onboard the Shuttle. What we came up with was a vacume funnel device for urnation. Men on the other hand use the vacume hose device for urnation. There is a funny story that goes along with this, but that's for a different formum.

[AngelAshley]

I have an interesting story...
There ws this one time I went to the University students union bar in a PVC Dress. Not unusual for me... but this night was Fetish Night so EVERY guy was dressed as a girl (or a chicken, or a... whatever their strange fetishes happened to be...) I was in the line for the girls, as usual... then one of the University staff came over and told me I wasn't allowed in there!! I tried to explain that I was actually a transexual and that I was a girl even on non fetish nights... but she didn't listen. I went off in a bit of a strop... not wanting to go into the mens (it scares me!!) so I waited in the lobby area wondering what to do...
She came back a couple of minutes later in an incredibly appologetic manor, obviously having spoken to her supirious and probably being told that she should let me in to avoid me sueing the university or something...