What would you say knowing where you've been

[emmicd]

I often wondered about this.

What would you do or how would you reachout to someone close to you if by accident you caught them in the act of cross dressing knowing that you had no clue about this aspect of their personality and that they were just as closeted as you. And to add to it they are young in age.

Knowing what you've been through and how you struggle with it yourself.

Emmi

[Tristen Cox]

Maybe drop little hints that I do the same things and try to make them feel more comfortable about opening up and speaking about it. Depends on how young you mean. It would be easier to relate with someone around my own age or even older. In any case I might sort of come out in a few ways to encourage them to be as open and communicate with me. Then offer some of the things I have learned about this lifestyle. I don't think I could be of much help to a young teenager being I know I already have trouble relating to them. However I would never turn down the chance to help someone if I thought there was any chance to do so. Interesting question..

[Annabel Girlie]

Is this a purely hypothetical question, or have you come across a young family friend or young boy in a family that you know, who you have discovered enjoys dressing in some way?

Annabel

[emmicd]

This is a hypothetical question. However my sister who is in the dark about my cross dressing was discussing amongst her girlfriends that I happened to over hear a situation where one of her girlfriends was talking about her 16 yr old son engaging in dressing up. He wore the mothers dress and shoes and she didn't know what to do.

Needless to say I felt powerless because if i put my two cents in my sister might wonder about me.

Emmi

[Annabel Girlie]

I can understand the very difficult position that puts you in. I would have hated for my sister to have found out that I wore her things through my teen years - either at the time or any time since. We have an extremely good and close relationship, and whilst I am tempted to think that she would have been a confidente and collaborator for my dressing, there is a significant risk that she would have rejected it (and me) and so it would have spoiled our relationship. So I made sure it was kept very discrete and secret

What would I do in similar circumstances? Maybe try and engineer a situation to discuss the topic with my sister - maybe find a newspaper or magazine article to prompt discussion, then maybe talk about when these things start in people (ie, what sort of age, what stumuli, etc), to see if you can draw the conversation back round to what you overheard. Then you can explore her feelings, give comment about tolerance, how it isn't really very serious what sort of panties anyone wears, etc. You should be able to gauge her reaction to this, and so get a feeling if it is at all appropriate for you to disclose your real position on it. Don't back away from the really important questions that she might as such as "What, do you wear girly things?" The initial reaction is always to deny it, but perhaps try to steer it in a more positive, open way, by replying "what would you feel if I did?" or something like that

Sorry if I have misconstrued the topic - I seem to have turned it more towards you and your sister than the lucky 16 year old who is possibly at the start of a lifetime of panty wearing - and more! However, it seems that you don't have any direct access to the young girly-boy, and will have to use your sister as your proxy in this process

Love

Annabel

[Shinya]

You know what, that is loaded 10 mega-ton atomic bomb. Second if you would like to help, but dont want to have to come out yourself.

Tell her you over heard the conversation and give her good infomation about crossdressing. If she ask you if you are, one you could come out , two you can tell her you know a crossdresser.

In either case letting someone know about crossdressing in a case, weres help might be needed, can be very helpful. You seen and know it can be a tuff and freighting thing for the uneducated.

The only thing that worried me was your original post, just in the context of it, it came off badly. To a unopened minded or uneducated person it can be twisted into something sick in a instence. I know your not intending for that to happen. But, I seen it, so could they.......

Shinya

[Dragster]

If I had the chance, I'd set up a one-to-one with the 16 year old to assure him that what he was doing was not wrong, he was not alone, and that I had some experiences that may help him to overcome any guilty feelings he may have and prepare him for a lifetime of CDing, because, like it or not, that is what he's probably in for. I'd prepare him for the negative reactions he's likely to experience, how to deal with them and enjoy the gift god has given him.

Unfortunately Annabel, you're probably right. It would be very difficult to set this up with the son of a friend of my sister, if I didn't know the boy in the first place!

If you wish to get involved Emmi, without coming out to your sister, you could always tell her that you had a friend who was a CDer, had a number of conversations with him on the subject, and could probably help her friend's son. Point out that though society in general is intolerant of such activity, your friend was otherwise a perfectly normal and trustworthy person, and most people were unaware of what he did in his spare time. You may also admit to a CD period in your young life (lies, lies), but did it make any difference to how she thought of you then, or now? There's a big risk in this approach, and you may let the opportunity pass, unless the subject comes up again. If you want to bring it up again, you could ask how her friend's son is getting on, after admiting to overhearing the original conversation. It's really up to you whether you wish to get involved; I'd chicken out and let sleeping dogs lie (yes, I'm a coward), but good luck to you in whatever you decide. Just asking this question shows what a caring individual you are (this seems to be common with many here on this site, is it another CD trait?). Good luck in whatever you decide, I know you'll handle it sensitively.

Tony

[LaurenMar]

A bit off topic but ....

I wish I could send a message to myself when I was a tennage boy/girl. I could have saved myself some guilt.


Lauren

xxx

[Wendy me]

i would say your not doing anything wrong ... and you are ok ..don't worry i wont tell anyone .. if you want to talk i am here ....."we need to stick to gether most people don't understand us"......

[emmicd]

I appreciate all your responses and find them all very helpful. One thing I realize through my own experience with cross dressing is that I started very young. Age 5, and I kept saying to myself when I become a teenager I will stop this activity. But you know what. I became more and more interested in dressing up. Though it was difficult and I always kept it a secret I derived great pleasure from it and just felt normal doing it. For all intents and purposes I was the typical boy growing up. I was and still am into sports. I played little league and did well in school. I had my share of friends. I could never discuss this with any of them. It felt like I was the only boy who enjoyed wearing dresses and makeup. Of course I only expressed this to myself and did not ever want to be open about that. I could never tell my 2 sisters. They just wouldn't understand. My wife doesn't understand it either!

Well enough about me.

Regarding this young kid who also seems predisposed to cross dressing.

My sister is having a barbecue this weekend at her house and I understand her friend and son will be there. I briefly mentioned in a non chalant way to my sister that I heard her conversation with her girlfriends and I suggested to her to have her friend's son and husband bring their baseball mitts and we could have a catch. It seems very difficult to even approach the issue so I will probabaly back away regarding that issue. However if he was age 18 or older I would probabaly make some subtle hint about this website. I dis see a thread written by an 18 yr old cross dresser. So this seems to be a very common thing.

Thank you all very much for your commentary.

I really appreciate it.

Emmi

[JoAnnDallas]

I had a somewhat similiar experience with my step-son when he was 14-15 years old. His mother and I had only been married about 6 months when I walked into the bathroom and found him using a pair of my wifes panties to mas...ate. I quickly said, "Sorry, lock the door", closed it and left him alone. Later he came up to me real nervious and asked if I told his mother what I was doing. I told him, "Nope, what you do in private, is no business of your mother or me, as long as it is not drugs or something alone those lines". He was really relieved and we talked a while about that kind of thing. I assured him that it was perfectly natural and OK, but make sure you keep the bathroom door or your bedroom door locked, just to keep your mother from walking in on you. I am sure that was where the ice between him and I broke and our relationship started to blossum. I remember later, my wife saying that it looked like Kevin was warming up to me. I said yep, we had a long talk about this and that and he has discovered that I'm not so bad after all. Wife asked what we talked about and I said man stuff. She left it to that.

I never asked him or caught him again using his mother's panties or any other female apprial, but if I had cought him CDing, I sure I would have reacted the same way as I did that first time. i don't think I would have come out and told him I was a CD, but I also would not have comdemed him right off the bat either.

It's a tought sisturation, that emotions usually rule instead of understanding and logic.

[Stephenie]

Well, an underage non relative, I would say nothing and not get involved. With a relative, son or nephew, I would comment on his chioce of clothes and if they go well with each other, then warn him to be more careful about people finding out. Then offer to talk sometime if he wanted and asure him that I won't spread it around.

With other peoples kids you can not get involved with out the risk of being thought of as a perdatory pedafile. The parents will only see a grown man in a dress trying to get thier son in and out of one. no matter what your intentions are that is what will be seen by most people.

be careful what you do.

[Robertacd]

i would say your not doing anything wrong ... and you are ok ..don't worry i wont tell anyone .. if you want to talk i am here ....."we need to stick to gether most people don't understand us"......

Thats exactly what I would say, Wendy. And I would stress the the fact that there is nothing wrong with htem ot what they do and they need to accept themselvs most of all. We all know the shame we felt at first or still feel now. Personally I don't wish that on anyone.

[JoAnnDallas]

Stephenie... that is true most cases. I did have a situration come up at a campout once. It is a group I belong to, that includes both male and female members between the age of 10 -18. We have strict rules about handling outings, like if there are going to be females on the outing, a least one adult senior female must be at the outing or the females can not go. Safety first. Anyway one night one of our younger males had a bed wetting incident. This quickly spread like a wild fire. We seniors, quickly took charge of teh situration. One member took the young man aside and explained to him that it was Ok and no one would thnik badly of him and helped him get cleaned up. At the same time we got all of the others together and explained to them that it was not funny and that it is a medical condiction and the young man should not be ridiculed because of it. We busted their bubble and made them think about it in a more mature way. many of them later went up the the younger member and Apologized to him. By the end of the weekend, all was forgotten and everything was Ok. He asked us if we were going to tell his parents about what happen. We assured him that No we would not and it was up to him if he want to them himself.

I agree, in most cases if it is not a relative, yes don't get involved, but there are siturations where you do have to get involved.

[DonnaT]

This is a hypothetical question. However my sister who is in the dark about my cross dressing was discussing amongst her girlfriends that I happened to over hear a situation where one of her girlfriends was talking about her 16 yr old son engaging in dressing up. He wore the mothers dress and shoes and she didn't know what to do.


I such a case I would have told my sister that I've known crossdressers before, that there is nothing wrong with it and that the boy will most likely CD for the rest of his life, unless he was just experimenting.

I would have told her that as far as I know, from what I've learned from the CDs I know, it is not something that can be cured.

I would then suggest she talk to the boys mother and suggest she support her son so he doesn't hide things from her, as it should build a loving and trusting relationship.


My sister is having a barbecue this weekend at her house and I understand her friend and son will be there.
In this case, I would ask my sister to ask the boys mother if she'd like me to talk to him, since I am familiar with other CDs. If the mother says ok, then I'd have good long chat with the boy, explaining how it's not wrong, but that there are possible pit falls.

Then I'd hand him a piece of paper with the url : http://www.geocities.com/senorita_cd/menu.htm written on it, and tell him he can learn more there.

[Jonien]

I often wondered about this.

What would you do or how would you reachout to someone close to you if by accident you caught them in the act of cross dressing knowing that you had no clue about this aspect of their personality and that they were just as closeted as you. And to add to it they are young in age.

Knowing what you've been through and how you struggle with it yourself.

Emmi


Invite them to go shopping with me