It mite be easier if my secert go out

[nicole 555]

It is so hard living two lives sometime I wish I could just tell everyone and it will be all done. Then I could just live my life happy. I have 4 children and that is one of the hard part ,very limited time to CD. Alway doing something for everyone else but I would like a little time for my self (not locked in bedroom like it is now ). I read all the story about going out I could only dream about that, maybe some day . My wife tries to help with time but something alway happen. I don't want to want until I am old to go out and about . Any one have problem like my

[Christina Horton]

I'm single hun can't help. All I can say is becarefull. I don't want to hear how your life is now a living hell cuz your wife hates it so much. Good luck Hun.

[LisaM]

I have 3 children and they are all 18 and older now. So I had the same problem. I, too, wished that I could just tell them but my SO did not and does not want to now. I got through it and I can now dress more frequently.

To me---watching my children grow and spending time as their coach, parent,etc.. was worth the time I missed dressing.

[Kimberly Marie Kelly]

about my crossdressing 7 months ago and they were both accepting of it, My daughter 24, my son 22 and both living on their own. They both knew of my crossdressing for like 15 years, they never told me they knew. I guess I wasn't as discrete as I thought. Anyhow, they both have been told recently that I'm going on HRT therapy soon. my daughter is very okay with it, my son is okay if that's what I want, but not as okay as my daughter. But I haven't lost either one yet.

Chances are your kids already know, it is a hard part of your life to hide consistently. What I'm saying is they probably already know or suspect, so I would go and tell them about it. But tell them you love them first and you will love them till you die and you will be their dad always. This will allow you to be yourself more openly. :battingeyelashes:

[Karren H]

Well it sure would make life simpler... And more complicated all at the same time.. I'd give it all up if I could just to make life easier.. But I can't.. So ya got to take what your dealt and move on..

[LisaDee]

Karen you are wise and cute!

[Cary]

I agree with Karren(this time). I sorta understantd what your going through. I too feel like I'm living a double life. I'm single, but I have a very large clingy family. Someone is alway dropping in without notice. I sold my livingroom furniture to stop the pop ins, but it didn't work. They brought theirown chairs. Sometimes I think it would be easier to tell. I could finally dress when I want. I know I'm just not ready to cross that one way bridge yet.

[SANDRA MICHELLE]

Yeh and it might be harder as well! I often wish to be "found out" so I would have to ome clean and live with the outcome but who knows. My wife knows and our 4 kids are all adults and do not know. I have always been the macho man of the family so it would come as a big shock, but maybe it would be all right.

[Joanne f]

Things do not always work out how you planned it might be so just be carefull .

[Lorileah]

Karen you are wise and cute!

Don't go reinforcing her like that! Now her head won't fit in her helmet tonight.

Nicole, sounds like you have small children and we all understand how tough it is to be you when you HAVE to present to children as a "role model". The world is built of little cubbys that we all somehow have to fit into. Sounds like your wife is trying to help when she can and that is great. Being angry, confused and depressed are not good role models and someday it will all work out. In the mean time, you have to take of yourself. It may not be as often as you like but you need the release and relaxation you get from dressing up. You won't be able to everything for everyone for long. Eventually it will catch up with you and it won't be pretty. Kids are pretty resilient and seeing "daddy" in a dress once in awhile won't be the end of the world. Especially if they know that "daddy" loves them more than anything in the world. They will have to learn not to let the secret out on the playground though. Or you will find out if life is easier "out". I would like to say it is but you have to be prepared to lose as much as you gain

[nicole 555]

some good points made

[Jacquilynne]

Nicole,

I am/ was in your same situation :( so I totally understand . . .

I too have four young children and was struggling to find my place in how to control me and my femme side. It was difficult.

Why do I day it "was" difficult.

Well My story goes family story goes downhill in a very bad way. see on New Years eve, I told my wife everything. . .everything since the beginning about Jacqui. This was something I had hidden from her for 11 years! Even so, most of those years Jacqui occupied just my inner feelings and did not dress outwardly.

She said she was ok. . .accepting of Jacqui but I found out that she was really just tolerant for a while. I began to be more bold in the freedom of my femme side. so much so I failed to realize that I was causing future harm on our relationship. Even though I did ofen ask if I was over stepping her boundaries and she said "no". But now I realize she was just distancing herself from me and didn't know how to tell me in a way that I would acknowledge. . She knew that Jacqui was a part of me and became freaked out about how this would affect our long term relationship and my relationship with our children, family and friends.

So feeling she had no other option, she with no warning -- left me!

Its been Over a month ago since they left. . .and it has been rough.

Coming home from work to an empty, quiet house -- no children running around -- no wife to discuss daily activities with - nothing but quiet! Each day I would have to pass by their rooms filled with their belongings only to be reminded that they were gone :(

It was heart-breaking. . .I cried and cried inside

Then, because I also lost my Job in the same week, I had to look for work. . .more difficulties.

I have finally begun to try to make sense of all this mess. . .and moved to a different apartment, selling and giving away a great deal of their stuff. Do you know how sad it was to have to empty a toybox into the dumpster? It was terrrible :( more tears were shed on during that move.

Finally, I am in a new place. . .still no communication from my wife and kids :( except to find out she has filed for assistance and will now be going after me for child support.

I want to support them -- they are my family, I love them so much -- I am NOT a deadbeat!! I just wish they were here around me . . . I want to hear their laughter . . .I want to hear them say,

"Daddy, I love you!"

but I can't. they are gone thousands of miles, states away. I love them soooooo much it hurts! :(

Why do I tell you this, I do NOT want this to happen to anyone here -- and if my situation can be of help then -- I am happy and it will not be in vain!

Nicole, don't worry about having little time for your femme self. . .take it slow . . . it will come in time if that is what is meant to be. Please, find something from my situation and remain focused on being, "husband" to your wife and "daddy" to your children. They need you, your support, and your time . . . as we all know, it is they, above all, that are most important! We can be selfish at times but we must take our eyes off the mirror and ourselves fro a moment and turn around looking to how we can be of help and support and how we can show our feelings of love to our families. . .

Also, remember to nurture they relationship with your wife daily always seeking open and loving communication while maintaining the boundaries you both agree on.

As for your family -- Love them, care for them . . like it has been said . . .

in the long run -- you will be rewarded!

[Teri Jean]

Although I'm not suggesting it for you but a nephew of mine said it this way when I told him about my CDing. You have carried this secret for 50 yrs and married, raised a family and have a wonderful grandson. Now you decide to experiance something you have carried for so long, go for it, You have been great and you deserve to have fun.

Think of the kids your wife and what is important. The rest is just that, fun. I hope this helps. Keli

[sexxynikki83]

I totally hear you about living a double life....but let's be honest...the alternative is frightening.