A question of Etiquette

[Sophie Lynne]

I was at a major mall near where I live today and I spotted a T-gurl shopping in a Claire's (accessories and stuff). Her presentation was perfect and I wouldn't have spotted her if it weren't for the fact that I've seen her on the internet.

I was in drab.

So, the question: being in drab, how would I approach the gurl to be friendly and say "hi" without making her think I'm a stalker or there to cause trouble?

[Brina Halloween]

If it was Txkimberly, just address her by name :heehee:. She already posted about it happening in an airport. If you remember the photo, hopefully you have a name to use. Ask if she is "-------".

[Sophie Lynne]

It wasn't her (i've met her). And I forgot her name, which was embarrassing. :o

[DonnaT]

Well, if she's a member of a forum that you are also on, then you might say, "Hi, we're on the same forum."

Usually the idea of talking to another trans gal is frowned on when its seen as being clocked. But I think it's different when it's someone you recognize from online, like a forum.

If not a forum, you could try, "Hi, I believe I've seen your picture online. We have similar interests, it seems."

[linnea]

I haven't had this happen yet, but I've thought about it quite a few times. If I were positive about the person, I might say something about the forum that would not identify which forum and see what the person's response is.
The bottom line for me is that I would not want to embarass or distress the TG whom I've approached.

[Kathi Lake]

Start with a normal conversation. If the other person starts to get nervous, let them know gently that you're in the same boat. That's what I would do. I wouldn't approach them with a "Hey, I've seen your pictures in the forums and you're much hotter in person!" :)

Kathi

[Rachel B]

Just walk and talk, idle chit chat etc. As long as its not uncomfortable for you or her then I dont see a problem. If you feel in any way uncomfortable about it then I'd just smile and walk away.

I certainly wouldnt approach someone and say I've seen your pic online :eek: If someone did that to me I'd freak.

[Michelle S]

Can you look her up now and drop her a line?

[Carin]

Open the door with a compliment - her shoes - purse - hair - outfit....
followed by
"You look great in outfit. I wish I could look that good"

or as you were in an accessories store,
"I wish I could find ... bracelet, earrings ... to suit me."

[msginaadoll]

How bout saying hi for starters and seeing where it goes from there. It wont draw any attention to her, everyone will just think u are hitting on a pretty lady.

[Sophie Lynne]

Michelle- I'm looking right now.

These are really great ideas! Still as a couple of you said, I don't want to clock anyone...

[danielle_from_cal]

If I was dressed and out shopping or something like that, I would probably not say any more than "Hi". Then I would look to see if a little (or big) tent was forming in their skirt. Not really!

I would just treat her like a normal girlfriend. Let's shop!!!

[MissConstrued]

If someone recognized me out & about from pics I've posted here, I'd hope you come over and say hi!

I don't give a flyin' rat's if I'm clocked.

[gretchen2]

You know how motorcycle riders always wave to each other when they are out on the road. Well I think we should be doing the same thing. Instead of just waving go say hi. Unless you are in or on a motorized vehicle then waving is good.

[BeckiB]

If someone recognized me out & about from pics I've posted here, I'd hope you come over and say hi!

I don't give a flyin' rat's if I'm clocked.


I totally agree!

[Di]

I would say something like, I recognize you from your picture Hi I am Sophie . That way it would not be like you clocked them cause some girls are devastated if they think they did not pass esp the ones that might have ventured out for a first time. And if you added what you told us "Her presentation was perfect and I wouldn't have spotted her if it weren't for the fact that I've seen her on the internet." THAT WOULD HAVE MADE HER DAY! Hope you find her so you can send a pm:hugs: if I can help pm me.:D

[pamela_a]

If you recognize me you had better come over and at least say hi to me. I love to talk.

-Paula-

[TxKimberly]

I'd be thrilled if someone stopped me to say hi. There might be an instant of panic while I considered the implications and intentions of the person approaching and speaking to me, but as soon as it became clear it was "one of us", it would be great.

[Chari]

Tell her You "are in a Pink Fog & need her advice". If she is whom you think she is, she may not be offended, but helpful. If she's not - then she may not know what Pink Fog you are talking about.

[divamissz]

This is always a delicate subject. Some people do not want to be recognized, or are very insecure about their "passing" and may react badly.

If I recognized someone from the internet, and can remember their name, I would ask "Are you so-and-so? I thought you looked like her. She's someone I know from a social group I'm on online..." That gives them an opening to either say yes or no, and if it's the wrong person then you haven't caused a problem.

If it was someone whose name I did not know, I would say I thought I recognized them from a social group online, and when they ask which one, tell them. You'll give them an opening and they will realize you're okay.

[tricia_uktv]

Smile?

[Sophie Lynne]

There is someone who comes in where I work (retail). I approached her and asked if she was part of Tri Ess or Renaissance. She was Tri Ess. I told her I was a CD as well, and we talk whenever she comes in.

That said, this was done quietly where no one else saw, and she was um, more easily spotted (but still beautiful!)

Thats a whole diff situation than in the mall, which is why I asked in the first place. :)

[Hope]

I think the biggest problem is to make sure that you are indeed talking to a CD. The consequences of getting that wrong are, well , catastrophic.

[Angel.Marie76]

I know that, say a month ago or so, I saw a younger sort wandering around a local department store with their girlfriend, and it was very easy to tell that she was, minimally, a CD. With nice jeans, a cute top with a light coat, handbag, earrings and such, she had a very obvious shadow.. but I still wanted to walk up to them and say HI though I was in drab at the time. They seemed quite preoccupied, so I decided not to push the situation, though perhaps I might test the waters next time. ;) I think I might pick a piece of their outfit that I like, and walk up to them and comment on how it's [pretty, nice, cool, etc] and ask her where they got it.. If you break the ice with a common thread (read: genuinely) you'll perhaps provide a nice conversational anchor.

My thoughts would ramble along like 'I just wanted to tell you, I LOVE that bag you have.. ;) I've been dying to find something that will go with almost ALL my outfits, but it seems like I have 10 different ones and have NONE to wear out.. it's SO FRUSTRATING!'

He he.. just be natural and friendly, if she is too, then you're just another accepting person..