Im really confussed now..

[curse within]

I was reading this web page I am sure most of you have been to and read. I will paste the url here--> http://crossdresserswives.com/16401.html

I know I have asked this question before and the reason I ask is, I seem to be the only one here without a femme name.

Now if you have read the page that I pasted above , this site boost a EDUCATION section. In this section it covers various spectrums of Crossdressing but no where in this section does it say anything about chooseing a femme name.

The closest I can come to any idenity of crossdressing that this page covers are, "gender identity disorder" "transgender" "transexual" and "tranvestite". On why one would choose a femme name.

Now I know it could be that I just choose not to have a femme name and has nothing to do with what identity that fits me . But I really do refuse to tag myself with a female name as odd as that sounds.

This is not picking a bone or comparing any spectrums I am just curious why one would choose to go by a female name .. I really am at a loss why I don't want one.

Thanks everyone

[Miranda09]

For me it's just a way to escape my male persona for a while and truly explore my fem side. When enFemme, I notice that when I use my name here on this forum, it just provides an identity that I can play with and experience. My mannerisms become feminine as well along with my responses to posts. Also, when I went to check out a local transitions service and bought a wig, Rori (the owner) asked for my fem name as she entered the usual mail list info onto her computer. It actually made me feel great....and I was in drab!! So that's why I like to use a fem identity. :)

[GaleWarning]

Relax, CW. You are not alone. I don't have an en-femme name either.
And I aint confused.
I am simply me.
:)

[curse within]

Thanks Clayfish,

My mind just gets to spinning sometimes, I do feel out of place every now and then as well..Then I get to thinking, I go as far as wondering how someone who is married accepts the femme name and how long it took them to get comfortable calling them by their name..

I don't know maybe I need more sleep..

[sissystephanie]

You choose to call yourself "Curse Within!" That sounds very much like you are not happy with the fact that you are, or wish to be, a Crossdresser. I don't mean to belittle or redicule you, I am just giving you my opinion!

On the other hand, I have called myself Stephanie for so long it seems very natural to me. But I only use that name when I am dressed completely as Stephanie. If I am in "drab," even though I am probably wearing panties, I always go by my male name. In feminine clothing I introduce myself as Stephanie because that is who I feel I am. But in drab I introduce myself by my male name, again because that is who I am at that moment! Does that make any sense?

I have no desire to actually become a woman, but when wearing feminine clothing, it just seems natural to have a feminine name. Especially because my male name is the epitome of maleness!! Some male names can be turned into female names quite easily, but not mine! There is no way on earth you could make it feminine! So therefore, at times I am Stephanie! BTW, my dear late wife loved to call me Stephanie, except around the children. She was totally supportive!

:hugs:

[curse within]

Thanks,

Miranda and Steph

For the post and Steph ,, trust me I don't feel be littled you are very much intitled to your opinion and yes I do not embrace this lifestyle as much as I should have.. My nick alone could be offensive to many and wasn't intensionally done for that

[Sally2005]

When I first joined this site I didn't have a fem name and didn't feel any attachment to what I picked. It felt odd to be called a girl and answer by her name. Not sure I would use Sally in the real world, but is me here anyways.

[linnea]

I chose my fem name quite a few years ago. As with some others, it is part of my identity. When I go out, I really like people to call me Linnea or Linn or my middle name Carol. I even have a last name.

[Alice Torn]

CW, Good thread. Because i am six foot six, and would almost never pass, I first called my dressed person, Amazon Alice, then, later, ala Lucille Ball, I chose my current name. I have recently condidered, changing, to Curse Without! Not really!! But, am condidering no female names, too. Like Steph, said, I also don't want any fem name, unless completely dolled up. I got dressed up, in a new thrift dress, and skirt, took six rolls of film, up most of the night, and feel dead today! As i get older, i dress less often--just don't often have the energy. Don't feel at all bad about not having a girl name. Girls are not any better, than guys. They just look better. I think your CW name, is clever, and cool!

[LilSissyStevie]

Stevie is my name either way. Just ask my Mom. That's what she still calls me. There isn't a girl me and a boy me. There's just one little old sissy me. So I only need one name.

[Deedee Dupree]

What Sissy Stephanie said, and

Don't sweat it CW, not worth fretting over now. Sometime in the future when and IF you are more accepting of your femme persona you'll decide with out any pressure from anybody that it's time to choose a name for yourself. IMO, the choosing is something that one should feel good about, as well as being practical, so until that happens, don't trouble yourself over it. BCNU, CW.

dd

edit: Been Deedee 13 years & running. When she's enjoying her reflection in the mirror pleased as punch, thinking of herself as Dave would be a spoiler... so she sends him off to do some errands..... and if he comes back early he knows he will be in big trouble if he butts in on her, she's trained him very well. <laugh> Couldn't resist... .

[crusadergirl]

I never did understand why i had to have a femme name. But i did pick a name i liked just so if i went out i wouldn't have to use my real name looking like a girl. So really Cw you don't need one.

[Samantha Kelsey]

I think that a name femme or otherwise is upto the individual. We all have names (tags). To me you are cursewithin, so what. Okay it might be different if I were to meet you in the street fully fully enfemme (hi there Curse how are you). I only chose a femme name when I decided to go the whole way and come out fully. People want to call you something and they may be embarrassed to use my name if it was say 'pinkfog brain'. They expect the name to match the apperance some what.

[Joanne f]

I know that we can go on a bit about names and labels for things but in the end i geuss that we have to have them to help and identify things .
I was not old enough to name myself at birth so i cannot really say that i ever liked my other name but now i have a choice to name myself with a name that i feel happier with , it is a way of conforming to myself that i am feminine , ok not on the out side but certainly on the in side and if i am lucky enough for some one else to call me that name it sort of enfisise`s the fact that i have a female side to me .

[MissConstrued]

I seem to be the only one here without a femme name.


*Ahem*

[Crissy Kay]

personally I would feel kind of silly calling myself my drab name while dressed as a french maid!!!!

[Teresa Macaw]

I did it because I love it, if I was a GG it is the name I'd want. It helps me feel more femme & into the part. To each their own. It is all part of the fun to me...

[Dressing Jill]

I am Jill & Douglas.

If that makes me MPD than I am. Both names identify who i am. Besides in a dress Douglas just doesn't fit.LOL It is amazing how well your names come to fit you.

I love both names. I guess I could combine both and come up with Jilllas, Dougill ETC..... LOL.....

Hugs

Jill

[curse within]

Thanks everyone for helping , I really don't see a need for a femme name FOR myself to answer a post ,but that's me . I do see why those who do choose a femme name now < do seem silly to be dressed out in public and go by Frank> and thanks again for expressing your thoughts on that.

[Miranda09]

Don't feel you need to have a name. The name isn't important. ;)

[Hope]

When I am at work (Oh the humanity!) people call me "Pastor So-and-so" or "Rev. So-and-so" or "that no good so-and-so." When I am hoisting beer with my friends, I am "Chauncey" (not my real name). At home I get called late for dinner.

We all wear different hats.

Now, if you really want to get confused, read this article about Chinese people, in China, using English names:

http://www.slate.com/id/2217001/

[Jenniferpl]

I always liked the name Jennifer, so I go by it.

[Karren H]

Because its the name I've always had in my head...... The one that I would have been named...... Every since I can remember..... my mother always told me I was supposed to have been born a girl.... I didn't choose it... It choose me..

[Jessica Who]

I actually just recently blogged about this. I chose the name Jessica because it represent feminine beauty to me.

I think I initially chose it because researching the internet at the time (1999), every CD seemed to have a female name, so I did the same.

After doing some heavy thinking for a few months, I decided to keep the name Jessica because I feel that it is representative of my feminine side. :heehee:

[Stacye Rose]

I use a "femme name" because it is an identifier. It separates my crossdressing from other activities. It works as a code so that I can communicate with my friends about my crossdressing while we are in public and I'm dressed as a male. (hey Sharon, do you think Stacye would look good in that green dress?) without outing myself to strangers or potentialy causing any sort of negative feedback. It also serves as a convienient catch-all term for talking to people who know me as both a regular male and as a crossdresser. (Will you or Stacye be coming to the Mayday circle?)

In short, I use a female name to describe my crossdressing as a shorthand to myself and my friends who know I crossdress because I think it facilitates easier communication. Isn't that the purpose of a name?

[jennifer easton]

like Karren said it choose me, I disliked my name very early on and this is the one that I have always wanted it to be, Jennifer

[harmony]

i used to teach handycapped children to read and write.it was a long drawn out process of abstraction.first you pick out an object from the sourrounding and give it a name.what i realized was that things that didnt have a name really did not exist in the conciousness of the child.so ...for you to be you need a name!it would be very polite as well to be able to adress you in conversation by a suitable handle?

[Alice Green]

I would just say it is personal choice. I’m the complete opposite I become a different persona when I crossdress I don’t know why except for it is my choice to adopt a female name so if you don’t that is fine just do what feels right.

[kathrynjanos]

Why you'd choose not to get one is entirely on you, and something only you can answer. Maybe you just don't care, a rose is a rose, etc...

I can tell you why I chose my name. I chose a female name because I didn't wish to use my real name, and any of my usual nicknames that I would choose are easily traced right back to my real life. Thus, I chose a female name that I liked, and I felt truly represented me as a whole. At the time, it was for the sake of having one, but as I've developed, even just since starting on this forum, I have come to acknowledge that Kathryn is much more of a real person within me, and I wonder if one day I won't be just pretending to be Matthew and actually primarily be Kathryn? Too deep for 2:30 AM?

I chose Kathryn based on Kathryn Janeway of the USS Voyager. She's a strong, intelligent, principled, and flawed human being. She is everything I wish I could be.

Certainly I will give myself the credit to know I am all of these, but she carries this all so well that I would give anything to be like her. I think that maybe it is because she has age and experience that I don't have, and I hope that one day I'll be as impressive as she is.

[RylieCD]

I am on my second name, My first I just picked just to have a seperate identity from my male on the internet, didnt want to link the two. When My wife found out she thought I was trying to be someone else and I described it to her as I just did and we changed it to something more neutral. To me it is just a email and logon ID No meaning to it.

[curse within]

I am on my second name, My first I just picked just to have a seperate identity from my male on the internet, didnt want to link the two. When My wife found out she thought I was trying to be someone else and I described it to her as I just did and we changed it to something more neutral. To me it is just a email and logon ID No meaning to it.

This seems to be the normal senerial .. Being kinda new to this site I was just wondering .. Thanks for all the post

[Sarah_GG]

Speaking for my SO (again... I do have one honestly!). He had never had a femme name until last year when he had a makeover. The place insisted they couldn't call him by his male name so he adopted 'Stevie'. When we went 'out' to a club it was essential to have a femme name as all the other TG people at the club seemed to have one.

I understand what you're saying CW (have you thought about changing your forum name yet?).

:hugs:

[curse within]

Speaking for my SO (again... I do have one honestly!). He had never had a femme name until last year when he had a makeover. The place insisted they couldn't call him by his male name so he adopted 'Stevie'. When we went 'out' to a club it was essential to have a femme name as all the other TG people at the club seemed to have one.

I understand what you're saying CW (have you thought about changing your forum name yet?).

:hugs:

Yes but a feminine name just doesn't appeal to me..I say this ( not to offend please no out of context needed) because I don't feel my femme side is a ego issue and I am so deep in the closet I'll never get out.

On the other I don't like being here with a offensive name to some ( it's not offensive to me and is how I feel about CDing) .. I hope that makes sence as I seem to come accross aggresive for some reason about CDing and the name doesn't help:D

[Sheila]

for your PM confiming GG's were welcome to answer hun .............

I used to be Known as Jess here when I first joined ............it became more comfortable to me than my Given name Sheila (which I now use:D)


As fror why some choose to go by a Fem name i would make an assumption that it completes the inner person to be addressed as female when dressed as such ..... but just my guess

[Samantha43]

Mine is just a name I use here and at my CD group meetings. I don't use it anywhere else. It's a name I have always liked, and I thought it would be fun to have a feminine name while I was dressed in feminine clothing.

[Nicki B]

My nick alone could be offensive to many and wasn't intensionally done for that

I don't take any offence - but I do think it indicates an internalised [-]transphobia[/-] self-loathing, which is not beneficial to your overall wellbeing..

Just like
I am so deep in the closet I'll never get out it seems to have the potential to be a self-fulfilling prophecy?

[MissConstrued]

Yes but a feminine name just doesn't appeal to me..

Well, there's always the unisex names... Pat, Terry, Chris, Mel.... :D

[az_azeel]

Felt the need to reply to this.. my name is gender neutral.. but feel free to look it up in wikipedia (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azazel) slight spelling change .. but even with this discription ..does not mean thats me.. i just love the name it seemed a natural choice after originally being fallen angel when i first joined

[Jakob]

Absolutely! I crossdressed on and off from the age of 6 to the age of 40 and never had a femme name, until the night I first came out to a CD group and they asked me my name. In a desert island you wouldn't need a name. The names of many African tribes simply translate as "us people".

It's only when you start communicating with others that names become important.

I think this sums it up. Why would I need a femme name when I just dress for myself?
I'm very curious what will happen when I begin to go out and meet people dressed as a girl.

[TJ Tresa]

It is a coplicated story as to how I came up with the name, "TJ Tresa." I will say taht my wife came up with the name, "Tresa," and a gay woman whom we are friends with started calling me, "TJ" thus the name TJ Tresa. The "T" is for Tresa and the "J" is for my male name. So I guess the stroy isn't as long as I thought. Oh well.
Loved the thread though. HugsTJ Tresa.

[docrobbysherry]

My dressing is about fantasy, so, I wanted a fantasy name! But, I play SO MANY characters, one make believe name didn't seem rite!:doh:

I'm actually a MAN-IN-A-DRESS. And so THAT'S the name I selected. A blend of male/female!:eek:

CWI, a name is just a name. It doesn't bother me, if u call yourself the, "B-girl from Hell". The question is really, " Does it bother u"?

[DanaR]

I chose a female name so when I went out with some others, they wouldn't have to call me a guy name; it just doesn't work with the dress :):)

[Byanca]

I don't take any offence - but I do think it indicates an internalised [-]transphobia[/-] self-loathing, which is not beneficial to your overall wellbeing..

That is true for me as well I guess. I'll change it if other people IRL change their view of me.

[Lisa Golightly]

I'll change it if other people IRL change their view of me.

From a TS point of view:

It's the small things in life that change people's views of who and what you are... Until you change why should others... hmmmmm? For me there was this whole jumbled messy period where I had my male and female name used in the same sentence... that got frustrating! Still they all seem to have the idea now though I get the odd 'he', 'clever boy' and 'him'... which does make me toss my eyes... and go 'tsk'.

I was born to be Lisa... It was my parents choice of name for a girl... Seemed appropriate to adopt it and I did so when I thought I could handle the gender mess in my head and declare I was CD. But I failed... lol... big style and in my new role Lisa's just me.

Lisa x

[Ricochet]

I don't use a femme name because I don't consider myself to have a feminine side. Or rather, my male side is quite dominant, so my feminine side barely peeks through.

I don't have any desire to be a woman or go out of the house dressed up. I adore women, but I'm happy being a man.

So why do I dress? I believe it is the strong attraction to all things feminine (and the clothing just feels good).

Later...

[DonnaT]

Just like you have the right to dress as you wish, you have the right to use whatever name you wish. There is nothing about CDing or being trans that is cast in stone.

If I'm out and about, I prefer to referred to as Donna, as it's less confusing.

When I'm out drab with trans friends, and they know me as Donna from online forums, it's fine with me if they still use Donna, since that is what they are use to using.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Last Dec. when I joined this forum I needed a log in name so I
put down about 100 names on a paper and crossed them off
one by one got down to three so it ended up as BLUE ORCHID
blue is my favorite color
blue orchids are my favorite flowers
so thats how BLUE ORCHID was born on my 66th birthday
.................................................. ....thanks.........ORCHID

[Julia Rose]

~~a name makes not the person/F-M-?/,,I my self Frm before school knew this name-I am called Julia'..{my fmly tld me,"__________"-U knw we where told by the doc u-wr-a-fm/-well my mom said that ""UR-Dad whanted a boy,,yea,yea..so here i come-6-8 dys later all seen a boy & was amazed-"__[moms name]__"did indeed hv a boy after 10 generatoins of all girls-.IN my mind I knew then thats my name givin-& my self/ & the trueth was JULIA'
~BUT!-a name is only a tag-2rep-someone''& I look upon it as such...-{1-is whom thay trurely r inside,}I feel like & r JULIA 'yet there r times when I Hv 2 step out frm her 2 b-him-4 the way things r in the world,-"" when its called 4.it"~~I say go with what U' feel "~Only 1 thier selfs know what lies deep inside"--~.........!
:hugs::doll::happy::2c::battingeyelashes:

[shesadvl]

whats in a name enfemme or in real or on the internet we all have them, its what we are happiest with., as my S/O has already posted in here CW stating he does not have an femme name.

mine "shesadvl" = (shes a devil) yes I yam :devil: its all about my wicked wit and sense of humour, I have had this nic for over ten years, my own name however comes from within the family, but because i was born FAB, then did the family have to think.
Most of the males were Ivan Joseph or Joseph Ivan, which pertains to the many uncles and my grandfather etc, and those before them, or as in (Victor Louis or Victor Wallace) the latter my dad,
When I came along they changed it to Irene Josephine, so there in i was named, after my grandparents as for the latter I have a younger sister who was named Victoria Louise (vicky)..... reminds me of that movie that julie andrews starred in "victor/victoria"
I have a new slant on this given name as being " good nite Irene and NOT tonight Josephine "...laffing :;):....:devil::tongueout

but thats me nice to meet ya'll:devil::battingeyelashes:

[ChanDelle]

Your post made me giggle a bit as I struggled with the same issue until one day I remembered the name my mom told me what name I would have been given if born a girl. Hence: ChanDelle. Don't know exactly how she would have spelled it, but seems to fit now.

Don't worry a bit, just be with us and share a bit of yourself. A name will come if you need it, otherwise, why bother?

ChanDelle