Kathi Lake
05-01-2009, 01:36 PM
CAUTION
The story below is both long and filled with pure narcissism. Those with weak constitutions, back problems, and those that are pregnant should not read this story. Keep your hands and feet in at all times. :)
Oh my GOD, did I have a fun day yesterday! On Monday, I only had time for a girly half-day, since I had to “man up” for my wife’s dissertation defense. Yesterday (Thursday) I decided on the spur of the moment to make it a whole day. After first checking with my wife (always a good idea) that it was OK and that she would pick the kids up from school, I started the fun.
After dropping the kids off at school, I went back home and started my transformation. I recently bought a NuBra so I could try the cleavage route that I see other ladies in here doing. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of excess skin (or excess anything), so it didn't work that well for me. I decided to go with just the MAC foundation instead of my usual Dermablend and then foundation route. It looks sheerer that way, but doesn’t last as long. I have to reapply it after about four hours. After finishing my makeup and hair, I went downstairs to take some pictures of the things I bought since the last set of pictures. Wow, have I been stimulating the economy a lot lately – tops, skirts, pants, a dress and much more! I have been amassing quite a collection. I changed into each outfit and took some pictures so you guys can see. Finally, I changed into my "on the town" shopping outfit - my skinny jeans, a new ruffled top and a cute shrug, and my BCBG 4" black pumps.
Picture time was fun, but my real reason for getting dressed is getting out into that big beautiful world! My first stop was my local Ulta store to see my friends there. My best friend there had just gotten her engagement ring. This puppy was huge! Three carats! If you saw her, you would know why – she is gorgeous. The other girls jokingly say they’d like to hate her, but she’s too sweet. :) She complimented me on my outfit with a “Damn girl! You’re looking incredibly sexy today!” I told her that since she changed her clothing style (the guy she’s marrying is in a very religious family, so it’s long dresses for her now as opposed to her usual minis and stilettos) and isn't dressing sexy anymore, that someone had to take up her slack. All of the other girls in the store came to ooh and aah at me, touch my hair (“Are you sure that’s a wig” they asked) and say how bad I made them all look fitting into such tiny clothes. Lies, of course, but they do make me feel good! After the usual Q&A session for the newer girls and a few customers (“Why do you do this?” “How do you feel when someone laughs or says something?” “What does your wife think?”), I stopped off at the mastectomy supply store to get fitted for another bra. I bought a blouse that has a pretty keyhole back and needed a bra with lower straps. I found a cute convertible bra that looked great on.
Next, I decided to go to Salt Lake. I had seen some cute tops at White House/Black Market, but didn’t have time on Monday to properly try stuff on. Michelle, my favorite sales associate/pixie (she’s about 5’2” and a 00) started piling things on in the changing room. I must’ve had about 20 tops. Surprisingly, the one that was the cutest on me was a black bustier. It had a thin belt that brought the waist in and flared out right above my nonexistent hips. It was tempting, but not exactly for everyday wear. Still, it made me think, a bustier – something that is built to “boost” your “yays” – on a guy I feel would violate some basic inbuilt principle of the universe, so I decided to leave the time/space continuum as it was and leave it in the “no thanks” pile. However, if I still went clubbing, that puppy would’ve been mine! As it was, I bought another top that looked cute under my new black shrug and a pair of camis.
One of the things I had in mind for yesterday was a pair of khakis. My wife has so many cute tops, sweaters and more that need a pair of khakis. I knew Talbots was having another sale, so went there to check them out. My favorite SA from there was working that day. She’s a cute, bubbly Latina. She knows my style and my sizes, like a good SA should. I started picking, and she started a room for me. The two pairs of khakis I chose had multiplied by the time I got there into three skirts, two dresses, and a variety of tops. She once again told me of her burning hatred of me and my “cute size zero ass and hips” while cursing her Latina hips. She’s not quite up there with J-Lo, but she is pretty darn curvy down there, and always a delight to shop with. The skirts were awesome, the legs were again complimented, and the dresses were cute as well. In the end, I got out of there by a superhuman effort of will with only the pair of khakis I was after. They didn’t have a size 0 in stock, so I had to settle for a size 2 (I know, the horror! :)).
Next stop, a couple of the boutiques I frequent. There was nothing new at Whimsy this time, so I went to Bella Forte. The new spring colors were in. Lots of yellow and fuchsia and lilac. Of course, since it’s a boutique, the prices aren’t exactly to Wal-Mart standards. The two things I like most were $220.00 and $340.00! Yikes! It’s a pain having expensive taste. :) Even with my “best customer” 30% discount, nothing was coming home with me today from her store. Ah well, there’s always next time.
The MAC counter at Macy’s was my next stop. I was looking at their new eyeshadows for spring. They were a little too pink for me. I seem to do better with earth tones. Ah well. I then browsed the shoe section for some pretty heels for my new black party dress. I have some closed-toe black pumps, but this dress demands something sparkly and strappy. While I was looking, I heard an “Excuse me.” I turned around and was faced with this gorgeous girl in an extremely short dress and a guy. She asked, embarrassedly, if I was a woman. I smiled and told her no. She said that she had caught her boyfriend checking this girl out while she was trying on shoes, got mad, saw me from behind and said she was checking me out as well. She said that whatever reason I was doing it (dressing), that I should keep it up, because I was seriously hot. Now, I don’t usually get embarrassed, but I think I turned several shades of red. I thanked her and they left. I couldn’t concentrate on shoes anymore, so I floated to my next stop.
I popped into Payless on the off chance they had something cute. They had two pairs of strappy black heels, but nothing really “get-me-now worthy.”
It was nearing the end of the day, so I turned for home. There is a boutique in Ogden (about 30 miles from Salt Lake) that has really cute stuff. I walked in and was complimented on my skinny jeans (of course, I did buy them there, so it’s only fair). I found a cute black scoop-neck sweater. As I was going to try it on, a LBD caught my eye on the sale rack. Now, I’m not much for dresses since as I’m freakishly tall (for a girl) they never hit me right – the waist hits me right under the bust. This one was incredible! It looked like it was made for me. It was a size 6, where I’m usually an 8 in dresses because of my shoulders, and yet it fit great. When I walked out of the dressing room, the owner and a few customers watched as I walked over to the mirror. One customer giggled and said, “I never thought I’d be saying this to a guy, but you really rock that dress!” I bashfully thanked them and went to change back. So, another shopping bag was added to the pile in my backseat.
Finally, as I had an appointment (in guy mode) at 7:00, I went back to Ulta. A few of the girls from the morning were still there, so I told them about my shopping. They all said that they want to come with me next time since I know where all the cool cute clothes are. :) I then used their bathroom to “change back into a pumpkin” as I told them. I left the NuBra on since without the container the adhesive will stick to everything. It didn’t look like it created too-large bulges in my shirt, so I guessed I was safe. When I came out, they couldn’t believe the difference. “I totally would not recognize you as a guy” one said. I told then that that was kind of the point. Bumping into someone I know, like from church or work would be a bit problematic. They said I shouldn’t worry so much about it as people are much cooler with it these days. I was talking with a girl who was giving a customer a shampoo. We were talking about nails and clothes and makeup. Listening to myself, I realized that although I had changed my clothes, I was still stuck in “girl” mode in my head. My voice doesn’t necessarily get higher, but my inflections, gesturing and everything else just kinda screams out “girl.” I mentioned that I had to start thinking like a man and one of the girls told me to go back into the bathroom and leave the seat up. Sigh. It is so cool to be included in this “club” isn’t it? When they realize that you aren’t a pervert – that you aren’t a threat to them – their defenses come down and they treat you just like another girl. I know it sounds weird, but that inclusiveness is part of the reason that I do this. They have remarked often how my attitude is what carries me. They say that I don’t always look totally like a girl, but that I carry myself that way – and that makes the difference. They say that other guys come into the store, but they seem kind of nervous, and it makes them nervous. When I come into the store, they say I light up the place because they can tell that I’m happy. You know what, I AM happy. How could I not be? :)
After my appointment, I went home, where I gave my wife a big hug. Her smile turned to one of confusion. She grabbed my left boob and said, “What is that?” I lifted up my shirt and showed her the NuBra and told her why I needed to keep wearing them. She was worried that someone might have seen them as she said they my boobs were pretty obvious, once you looked. Oops. Lesson learned.
Well, that is my experience. I’m sorry it was so long. Those of you brave enough to read it to the end, thanks. Thanks for letting me share with you the joys of being in this life that we all share. Thanks for all of your stories. They give me the courage to keep going out there and doing what I do.
Kathi
The story below is both long and filled with pure narcissism. Those with weak constitutions, back problems, and those that are pregnant should not read this story. Keep your hands and feet in at all times. :)
Oh my GOD, did I have a fun day yesterday! On Monday, I only had time for a girly half-day, since I had to “man up” for my wife’s dissertation defense. Yesterday (Thursday) I decided on the spur of the moment to make it a whole day. After first checking with my wife (always a good idea) that it was OK and that she would pick the kids up from school, I started the fun.
After dropping the kids off at school, I went back home and started my transformation. I recently bought a NuBra so I could try the cleavage route that I see other ladies in here doing. Unfortunately, I don't have a lot of excess skin (or excess anything), so it didn't work that well for me. I decided to go with just the MAC foundation instead of my usual Dermablend and then foundation route. It looks sheerer that way, but doesn’t last as long. I have to reapply it after about four hours. After finishing my makeup and hair, I went downstairs to take some pictures of the things I bought since the last set of pictures. Wow, have I been stimulating the economy a lot lately – tops, skirts, pants, a dress and much more! I have been amassing quite a collection. I changed into each outfit and took some pictures so you guys can see. Finally, I changed into my "on the town" shopping outfit - my skinny jeans, a new ruffled top and a cute shrug, and my BCBG 4" black pumps.
Picture time was fun, but my real reason for getting dressed is getting out into that big beautiful world! My first stop was my local Ulta store to see my friends there. My best friend there had just gotten her engagement ring. This puppy was huge! Three carats! If you saw her, you would know why – she is gorgeous. The other girls jokingly say they’d like to hate her, but she’s too sweet. :) She complimented me on my outfit with a “Damn girl! You’re looking incredibly sexy today!” I told her that since she changed her clothing style (the guy she’s marrying is in a very religious family, so it’s long dresses for her now as opposed to her usual minis and stilettos) and isn't dressing sexy anymore, that someone had to take up her slack. All of the other girls in the store came to ooh and aah at me, touch my hair (“Are you sure that’s a wig” they asked) and say how bad I made them all look fitting into such tiny clothes. Lies, of course, but they do make me feel good! After the usual Q&A session for the newer girls and a few customers (“Why do you do this?” “How do you feel when someone laughs or says something?” “What does your wife think?”), I stopped off at the mastectomy supply store to get fitted for another bra. I bought a blouse that has a pretty keyhole back and needed a bra with lower straps. I found a cute convertible bra that looked great on.
Next, I decided to go to Salt Lake. I had seen some cute tops at White House/Black Market, but didn’t have time on Monday to properly try stuff on. Michelle, my favorite sales associate/pixie (she’s about 5’2” and a 00) started piling things on in the changing room. I must’ve had about 20 tops. Surprisingly, the one that was the cutest on me was a black bustier. It had a thin belt that brought the waist in and flared out right above my nonexistent hips. It was tempting, but not exactly for everyday wear. Still, it made me think, a bustier – something that is built to “boost” your “yays” – on a guy I feel would violate some basic inbuilt principle of the universe, so I decided to leave the time/space continuum as it was and leave it in the “no thanks” pile. However, if I still went clubbing, that puppy would’ve been mine! As it was, I bought another top that looked cute under my new black shrug and a pair of camis.
One of the things I had in mind for yesterday was a pair of khakis. My wife has so many cute tops, sweaters and more that need a pair of khakis. I knew Talbots was having another sale, so went there to check them out. My favorite SA from there was working that day. She’s a cute, bubbly Latina. She knows my style and my sizes, like a good SA should. I started picking, and she started a room for me. The two pairs of khakis I chose had multiplied by the time I got there into three skirts, two dresses, and a variety of tops. She once again told me of her burning hatred of me and my “cute size zero ass and hips” while cursing her Latina hips. She’s not quite up there with J-Lo, but she is pretty darn curvy down there, and always a delight to shop with. The skirts were awesome, the legs were again complimented, and the dresses were cute as well. In the end, I got out of there by a superhuman effort of will with only the pair of khakis I was after. They didn’t have a size 0 in stock, so I had to settle for a size 2 (I know, the horror! :)).
Next stop, a couple of the boutiques I frequent. There was nothing new at Whimsy this time, so I went to Bella Forte. The new spring colors were in. Lots of yellow and fuchsia and lilac. Of course, since it’s a boutique, the prices aren’t exactly to Wal-Mart standards. The two things I like most were $220.00 and $340.00! Yikes! It’s a pain having expensive taste. :) Even with my “best customer” 30% discount, nothing was coming home with me today from her store. Ah well, there’s always next time.
The MAC counter at Macy’s was my next stop. I was looking at their new eyeshadows for spring. They were a little too pink for me. I seem to do better with earth tones. Ah well. I then browsed the shoe section for some pretty heels for my new black party dress. I have some closed-toe black pumps, but this dress demands something sparkly and strappy. While I was looking, I heard an “Excuse me.” I turned around and was faced with this gorgeous girl in an extremely short dress and a guy. She asked, embarrassedly, if I was a woman. I smiled and told her no. She said that she had caught her boyfriend checking this girl out while she was trying on shoes, got mad, saw me from behind and said she was checking me out as well. She said that whatever reason I was doing it (dressing), that I should keep it up, because I was seriously hot. Now, I don’t usually get embarrassed, but I think I turned several shades of red. I thanked her and they left. I couldn’t concentrate on shoes anymore, so I floated to my next stop.
I popped into Payless on the off chance they had something cute. They had two pairs of strappy black heels, but nothing really “get-me-now worthy.”
It was nearing the end of the day, so I turned for home. There is a boutique in Ogden (about 30 miles from Salt Lake) that has really cute stuff. I walked in and was complimented on my skinny jeans (of course, I did buy them there, so it’s only fair). I found a cute black scoop-neck sweater. As I was going to try it on, a LBD caught my eye on the sale rack. Now, I’m not much for dresses since as I’m freakishly tall (for a girl) they never hit me right – the waist hits me right under the bust. This one was incredible! It looked like it was made for me. It was a size 6, where I’m usually an 8 in dresses because of my shoulders, and yet it fit great. When I walked out of the dressing room, the owner and a few customers watched as I walked over to the mirror. One customer giggled and said, “I never thought I’d be saying this to a guy, but you really rock that dress!” I bashfully thanked them and went to change back. So, another shopping bag was added to the pile in my backseat.
Finally, as I had an appointment (in guy mode) at 7:00, I went back to Ulta. A few of the girls from the morning were still there, so I told them about my shopping. They all said that they want to come with me next time since I know where all the cool cute clothes are. :) I then used their bathroom to “change back into a pumpkin” as I told them. I left the NuBra on since without the container the adhesive will stick to everything. It didn’t look like it created too-large bulges in my shirt, so I guessed I was safe. When I came out, they couldn’t believe the difference. “I totally would not recognize you as a guy” one said. I told then that that was kind of the point. Bumping into someone I know, like from church or work would be a bit problematic. They said I shouldn’t worry so much about it as people are much cooler with it these days. I was talking with a girl who was giving a customer a shampoo. We were talking about nails and clothes and makeup. Listening to myself, I realized that although I had changed my clothes, I was still stuck in “girl” mode in my head. My voice doesn’t necessarily get higher, but my inflections, gesturing and everything else just kinda screams out “girl.” I mentioned that I had to start thinking like a man and one of the girls told me to go back into the bathroom and leave the seat up. Sigh. It is so cool to be included in this “club” isn’t it? When they realize that you aren’t a pervert – that you aren’t a threat to them – their defenses come down and they treat you just like another girl. I know it sounds weird, but that inclusiveness is part of the reason that I do this. They have remarked often how my attitude is what carries me. They say that I don’t always look totally like a girl, but that I carry myself that way – and that makes the difference. They say that other guys come into the store, but they seem kind of nervous, and it makes them nervous. When I come into the store, they say I light up the place because they can tell that I’m happy. You know what, I AM happy. How could I not be? :)
After my appointment, I went home, where I gave my wife a big hug. Her smile turned to one of confusion. She grabbed my left boob and said, “What is that?” I lifted up my shirt and showed her the NuBra and told her why I needed to keep wearing them. She was worried that someone might have seen them as she said they my boobs were pretty obvious, once you looked. Oops. Lesson learned.
Well, that is my experience. I’m sorry it was so long. Those of you brave enough to read it to the end, thanks. Thanks for letting me share with you the joys of being in this life that we all share. Thanks for all of your stories. They give me the courage to keep going out there and doing what I do.
Kathi