I miss your hair . . .

[TxKimberly]

Most nights my five year old daughter makes her way to our bedroom and bed somewhere between midnight and 3 AM. An unintended consequence of this is that my wife and I rarely get the chance to cuddle these days, what with a three foot little critter snuggled between us. Well last night my critter slept the whole night in her own bed and so I cuddled up to my wife and wrapped my arm around her more than ample seven month pregnant tummy. She lifted her head and turned her head to look at me.
"I miss hairy Matthew", she said softly. Wistfully. I wasn't sure I'd understood her.
"What do you miss baby?"
"I miss your hairy arms." she confirmed and then seconds later began to snore softly.

Ah hell, she deserves so much better than me . . .

[Sophie]

you/we are what you/we are! if you can give her what she'd like then do but only if it's in your power.

I feel i don't deserve my wife sometimes. Especially right now as she's in hospital with my 3 day old baby daughter. Can't believe how much i love them both, didn't know i had it in me.

Congratulations on your little developing bundle of joy!

Sophie

[Jonianne]

......."I miss hairy Matthew", she said softly. Wistfully. I wasn't sure I'd understood her.
"What do you miss baby?"
"I miss your hairy arms." she confirmed and then seconds later began to snore softly........

This remindes me of the last scene in "The Sixth Sense" with Bruce Willis.


......Ah hell, she deserves so much better than me . . .

Nonsense Kim, you are such a kind and sensitive person. You are the one she deserves and she is the one you deserve. I am sure you make her happy in your life together.

Quote from Wicipedia on last scene: ".......Recalling Cole's advice, Crowe speaks to his sleeping wife and fulfills the second reason he returned, saying she was "never second," and that he loves her."

[stephaniedoes]

yes TxKimberly, i can relate, i get it from my wife all the time how she likes the touch of hair i had on my chest, and on my legs, and on my tummy and it makes me feel so bad that i do this but this is so who i am. i need to be completly shavin in order to feel atleast a drop of myself when im wearing mens clothes or being a man in general. i fear one day i will loose her do to this because i wasnt wearing a wedding gown when we married in which she reminds me of alot. she married a man but sorry to say, well maybe not, but ive progressed in my desires to an extent that i may go the distance with surgery sumday. but if she needs hair she will have to go somewhere else to find it.. i dont have kids with her but i do want to be with her and i hope as time passes she will like my hairless body more then with. hold in there babe.. :straightface:

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Ah hell, she deserves so much better than me . . .

Only if you believe she does.

You really shouldn't feel guilty for being yourself.

How about a woman with long, beautiful hair. A man falls in love with her that way. Marries her that way. Then she cuts it all off. He dislikes the short hair and tells her so. She says "I'm sorry, but this is how I want to look now." Do you think that she'd ever think to herself "He deserves so much better than me."?

Take it easy, Kimberly. Don't be so hard on yourself. :)

[Melissa Anne]

My wife is the same way. She is very supportive of my CDing but she also likes my body hair. That is one reason I only dress and shave from October through March. After that I let my hair grow out for the summer and she gets her hairy man back for a few months. It's a good compromise for both of us.

[Katrina]

I know what you mean, Kim. I sometimes feel guilty as I trim down my hairy parts (everything!) down to very little or nothing. I feel bad, but it is either feel bad or feel completely depressed that I was born in the wrong body. I don't think either my SO or I will be happy.

[Dressing Jill]

I'm not married now.

However do what ever it takes to love one another as it is a partnership. Don't forget about each others feelings as they can both be hurt over silly things. Do special little things for one another. Sacrifice when you can.

I was reading about the cute little children you were talking about. And one on the way.
They are so precious. Love them with all you manly and womanly means. Find a balance in you all's life.

I have 2 grand children both girls. 1 is 6 months and the other is 3 months. They just take grandpa's heart away. Someday I will be able to help them choose their make up like I did my daughters. I wonder how much it will changed when they get old enough to start experimenting. There is a lot of loving to do before than.

Hugs

Jill






There is always room for more friends in ones heart

[Samantha B L]

Hi Kim, I can relate to where your coming from. Most of my life I've been clean shaven in my efforts,honestly,that I look as much like a female as I can possibly get away with. But I have grown a beard from time to time and even an ocaisional mustache! This was in a blase spirit of "I don't care". I've used depilatories on my legs and other parts of my body often and I've even used whisker depilatories on my face. My Mom and Sister and a couple of girls who I've taken out on dates really like my Smokey The Bear Fur and personally I just despise the d___ sh__. I've gotta say that of all the congenital female traits I would've like to have been born with,lack of facial hair is one of them and actually I'm not even TS. I'm CD. But that's my response to that. I shaved off my last scraggly hippie beard about 2 years ago and I've stayed clean shaven which I was for most of my life anyway. So I'll stand firm and stay that way. It'll be unspoken TG/TS/CD snobbery and none of the people who've liked my Lon Cheney furry exterior in the past will ever know!

[Tora]

I hope it was a unintented guilt trip! Oh my gosh. My bride of 38 years, is also worth more then I could ever pay. I will Go down to Chucky Cheeze and put in a bid for the "Rat Suit". At least we would know how we felt.

[Jolene]

Where is it written that men have to be hairy? I have seen pictures of pretty women who have body hair and would much prefer them clean shaven. Oh well ... that is me. :)

[TxKimberly]

Where is it written that men have to be hairy? I have seen pictures of pretty women who have body hair and would much prefer them clean shaven. Oh well ... that is me. :)

You and I both Jolene, but "the facts is the facts": My wife married a very Hairy soldier in the US Army, and now has a somewhat effeminate husband with soft hands, long nails, and no hair on his body. Talk about a bait and switch . .

[Kittykitty]

I'm going to go out on a limb and say...
you're probably more caring, sympathetic, loving, adoring, romantic, attentive and cuddly than your average marine.
It's not bait and switch, if you give her the upgraded model!

[FluffyPersian]

You and I both Jolene, but "the facts is the facts": My wife married a very Hairy soldier in the US Army, and now has a somewhat effeminate husband with soft hands, long nails, and no hair on his body. Talk about a bait and switch . .

Would you consider Melissa Anne's solution? I think that growing out the hair for a few months would be a nice way to show goodwill towards your wife. This may be bothering her a lot more than she admits.

In any case, Kimberly, congratulations on showing compassion for your wife and her wants and needs. I think you're a good example for many other CDers on this forum.

[Sophie Lynne]

Kimberly, you really should write. You have a very expressive "voice."


That aside, my wife hates that I now shave my chest. I tell her its to reduce sweat.

I'm in your boat and I don't know how to keep it from sinking

[Tamara Croft]

I think you should grow it back, just for a short while... she's having a baby, she's hormonal etc... once she has the baby, she won't have time to wish for anything, she'll be way too busy ;) ;) what's 2 months out of your life, when you have a lifetime together?

[Nicki B]

Would she want to live with the growing stubble for 2 months, though? Unfortunately, it's not either/or.. :sad:

[BLUE ORCHID]

I have the same problem my wife of 45+ years got over the
shaved chest then she got over shaved legs but when the
arms came up shaved thats when the s##t hit the fan.
I let the arm hair start to grow but keep it at about 1/4"to3/8"
with my hair trimmer-- being light & thin the arms don't look too bad
.................................................. ...........thanks.......ORCHID

[Tamara Croft]

Would she want to live with the growing stubble for 2 months, though? Unfortunately, it's not either/or.. :sad:2 months? it takes a month for hair to grow full cycle.. not 2 :p

[Lisa Golightly]

2 months? it takes a month for hair to grow full cycle.. not 2 :p

Damn these hormones are good... I haven't shaved my arms for months...

I do know what your wife means though... There is something rather nice about stroking... *cough* :D

[Cassiecd]

hang in there darling, that one really pulled at my heart strings!

[unclejoann]

I believe I made a mistake by compromising and growing my hair back for the summer. It is awful. I can't imagine wearing long sleeves and stockings in the summer.

My hair seems to take 2 months to come all the way back, is 1 month really normal?

Funny, I prefer hairy women, the more the better. But I don't want to be hairy, even though my wife complained about lack of hairy chest and arms so much that she wouldn't touch me.

[TGMarla]

Yeah, I get that, Kimberly. I used to wear a moustache. It was one thing that my wife particularly liked. She thought it was dashing and sexy. After many years, hating it the whole time, I shaved it off. She still misses it.

I can't imagine what she'd say if I shaved my arms and legs.

[Chari]

It is what you have in your heart and mind that matters most in any relationship. The outer packaging is merely a cover!

[TxKimberly]

I think you should grow it back, just for a short while... she's having a baby, she's hormonal etc... once she has the baby, she won't have time to wish for anything, she'll be way too busy ;) ;) what's 2 months out of your life, when you have a lifetime together?

A lot have wisely suggested letting the fur grow, at least for a while. The problem is that this is no longer possible. After half a decade of waxing, hair wont grow in my chest any more, and I used to have a hell of a forest there. Another half a decade of epilating and the hair wont grow on my calf's either. Just to top it off, I've just completed almost a year of laser treatments on my face and arms from the elbow down. All this adds up to the fact that if I let it grow, the only places I will have fur is the legs from the knee up, the arms from the elbow up, and on my back. I'm fairly sure that is NOT what she wants to see. LOL
Pretty much there is nothing I can do now to give her what she wants . . .

[JulieC]

You and I both Jolene, but "the facts is the facts": My wife married a very Hairy soldier in the US Army, and now has a somewhat effeminate husband with soft hands, long nails, and no hair on his body. Talk about a bait and switch . .

My wife married a 30 something year old man who weighed about 160, slight pattern baldness and no gray hair. Now she has a 40 something, heavier, much more bald and some gray hair man. Talk about a bait and switch. That's only 10 years. I can't imagine how hard it's going to be on her in 30 more years.

Said tongue in cheek of course...but the point is we all change over the years. It's a given. Your wife might not want to marry to the person she married what, 20 years or so ago now? She loves you as you are now.

[kathrynjanos]

Look, when you love someone, you can't help but feel that they deserve better than you, and that's a good thing (in some ways)! Mostly, it means that you want them to be as happy as possible, even if that's being happy without you. I don't think you need to worry though, honestly. We all have our shortcomings, be it in our own eyes or the eyes of others. What's important though is that we be ourselves, and hopefully, others will accept you for that too. I'm sure your wife still loves you, and hopefully, she understands. It does seem as though she's at least accepting of you as you are, and that's important, even if she'd prefer you be different. Don't kick yourself too much, hon.

[Angel.Marie76]

The fact that you're there, being a spouse and parental unit shows that you've caring, sensitive, and understanding of many a need. Kudos for making your marriage work all this time, and I hope you both continue to maintain a positive course.

I can say that my SO has commented to me, and we've come to a generalized decision that I am not to shave my arms save for special occasions.. apparently she REALLY doesn't like my smooth arms. :( She's not complained about my missing leg hair, except when I complain about needing to shave.. then she just looks at me and says something along the lines of 'Oh, stop whining and be a big girl!'.

Though, I know she's really, really not looking forward to my starting date for laser in less than two weeks. She apparently adores my 'scruffies' when I let it age for a day or two. BAH. She knows I care, and that I've been doing what I can to give her 'her guy time' when appropriate. She just told me though, when I set in my date for my first treatment, that when my scruffies are gone for good that she may have to, um, 'look outside the relationship' if you will for someone else's scruffies to rub up against.. *sigh* I'm not going to hold it against her because /I can't/ hold it against her.. Catch22 perhaps, but she generally knew what she was getting into when I started coming out to her as we started getting serious.

[Patricia1]

Kim - In her sleepy state, your wife was probably engaging in some kind of dreamy wish fulfillment talk. You mentioned she drifted right back to sleep. She was probably expressing the loss of the "old" Matthew, the one she started out with. It's been a long journey for you two, 2 kids & a third on the way. She obviously supports you completely. You're happy with the way you look (with a little grousing now & then about "aging") & she knows that's important to you. This was probably some subtle subconscious thing which is just some residual sense of loss for the old days. However, you can't go back, so let it pass & enjoy your wife while giving her what she needs from Matthew. You're obviously up to it. My wife gave me the same wistful "complaint" but hasn't revisited the issue. We all feel a little guilt now & then over being selfish. It'll pass.