Natasha_C
05-05-2009, 03:00 AM
Hi everyone. I’m brand new here and would like to say hello and do hope some of you can help. I’m 44 and am feeling the urgency to transition more and more. I am totally alone with this condition which has made it all the more confusing for me, and when I took the plunge to seek help in the medical field which was over 10 years ago, I was given advice which I think was incorrect and would be so grateful if you would allow me to share this with you in the hope some of you can help.
I have been cross dressing from the age of 10 and began having thoughts of wanting to be a woman from my very early childhood. I have always been unhappy in my body and the pain literally burns into me to this very day about being born this way 24/7.
I first visited my doctor about 12 years ago explaining this who referred me to a psychiatrist who referred me to a private sexologist. The sexologist was of the opinion it was all in my mind and blamed it all on bad childhood impressions and was going to work towards “curing me” into feeling good about being a man.
I asked for hormone tests on my blood to see if there was anything physically wrong. The sexologist worked closely alongside an endricinologist, and I was granted these tests and when the results came through they showed levels of progesterone. The endricinologist he was working alongside believed these levels of these were too low to be significant so instantly dismissed them and I was then treated with a combination of testosterone and prozak together with psychotherapy trying to make me feel good about being a man and living in this body which needless to say did not work at all.
I cannot remember the exact levels of the progesterone but I think it was 3 compared to testosterone levels of 20 ? Can anyone help with this and if it may indeed be significant. The sexologist and endricinologist were working hand in hand and in view of the fact the weekly therapy went on for over a year & the sexologist made a lot of money from me I am now wondering if these levels of progesterone they both chose to instantly dismiss were indeed in fact relevant.
The other thing was that I could not get into puberty as a child and had to have forced testosterone injections to kick start the process at the age of 15. Again I was told by the sexologist it was all down to a bad childhood and “the body not wanting to become an adult man through childhood impressions” but I am now wondering if I was deceived on this too and that this may also perhaps be significant to my condition today.
If anyone could give me any help or feedback I would be so grateful. This is my first post and I am very alone with this but am now studying sites like TS road map and am also seeking local TS support groups too. I know having the answers to the above is not going to change anything, but any help would be so appreciated and it would help clear some of the confusion too. I would be so grateful for any feedback or support.
I have been cross dressing from the age of 10 and began having thoughts of wanting to be a woman from my very early childhood. I have always been unhappy in my body and the pain literally burns into me to this very day about being born this way 24/7.
I first visited my doctor about 12 years ago explaining this who referred me to a psychiatrist who referred me to a private sexologist. The sexologist was of the opinion it was all in my mind and blamed it all on bad childhood impressions and was going to work towards “curing me” into feeling good about being a man.
I asked for hormone tests on my blood to see if there was anything physically wrong. The sexologist worked closely alongside an endricinologist, and I was granted these tests and when the results came through they showed levels of progesterone. The endricinologist he was working alongside believed these levels of these were too low to be significant so instantly dismissed them and I was then treated with a combination of testosterone and prozak together with psychotherapy trying to make me feel good about being a man and living in this body which needless to say did not work at all.
I cannot remember the exact levels of the progesterone but I think it was 3 compared to testosterone levels of 20 ? Can anyone help with this and if it may indeed be significant. The sexologist and endricinologist were working hand in hand and in view of the fact the weekly therapy went on for over a year & the sexologist made a lot of money from me I am now wondering if these levels of progesterone they both chose to instantly dismiss were indeed in fact relevant.
The other thing was that I could not get into puberty as a child and had to have forced testosterone injections to kick start the process at the age of 15. Again I was told by the sexologist it was all down to a bad childhood and “the body not wanting to become an adult man through childhood impressions” but I am now wondering if I was deceived on this too and that this may also perhaps be significant to my condition today.
If anyone could give me any help or feedback I would be so grateful. This is my first post and I am very alone with this but am now studying sites like TS road map and am also seeking local TS support groups too. I know having the answers to the above is not going to change anything, but any help would be so appreciated and it would help clear some of the confusion too. I would be so grateful for any feedback or support.