Finally Got Caught

[tamyracd]

Well after years of hiding my crossdressing i got caught this afternoon by my 23 year old daughter. She wasn't supposed to be home from work until late this afternoon but came home early to go out with her boyfriend...i was dressed to the hilt and in the den when i heard something and stuck my head out the door as she was going into her bedroom ,i think she just saw i was wearing a satin blouse with forms and a necklace..i quickly shut the door and undressed and came out in my shorts which i had stashed for just such an occasion. Nothing was said and she continued to get ready to go out.. Needless to say i'm quite concerned. My wife of 25 yrs knows i dress but i've always kept it from my kids...she left an hour or so later and seemed to be alright....but i know she saw me...I just hate it so bad because young people have enough to deal with without knowing there macho dad is a cd...Of course there's a good chance she already knew kids are quite smart about things.. Don't know what to do, just let it alone or ask her about it...She's always been totally against cding the few occasions the subject been brought up... Guess i just have to play it by ear she won't be back till tomorrow night....I really don't think she'll bring the subject up. Also don't know really know if i should tell the wife she doesn't like my dressing so the subject is never talked about... I'm embarrassed and quite ashamed to be honest....It was starting out as such a good weekend too..Guess it was bound to happen one day as i dress quite often but it doesn't make it any easier...I apologize for my spelling and lack of writing skills i never paid attention in English....

[happygirl]

just let it be, everythings fine

[bobi jean]

My guess is that not much has been lost... If indeed she did see you, and has been totally against cross dressing in the past,BUT DID NOT SAY ANYTHING IMMEDIATELY(you should know how kids are), I would venture to say, 1. she did not recognize what you had on, 2.she doesn't care what you had on, or 3. this is a biggy,, she already knows that you are a crossdresser. As you said, Kids are not dumb when it comes to things like that... besides, when and how did the subject of crossdressing come up before???? did she or another of your children start it, did your wife start it or did you start it (the conversations about cd'ing)???
I honestly think that I would start the next conversation with her. I would start off with an appology of sorts..something simple like "hey kid, I'm sorry for the other day", I wasn't expecting you home so soon! If she doesn't acknowledge what you are appologizing for, then shut the hell up and let it go!!!!!!!!! if she does,, well then it is honest explaination time "again".......
GOOD LUCK AND THE BEST TO YA!!! Bobi Jean
ps. almost forgot!!!! you better tell your wife. If your daughter says something to her mom first, well forget all of the above, IT'S TO LATE!!

[DonnaT]

I would not say anything.

But what is important, you need to quite feeling embarrassed or ashamed. You are being who you are.

If the subject comes up, not being ashamed will go a long way in your favor.

[az_azeel]

Tamy..
kids are a bit more ressilient these days... i first told my eldest lad when he was 18.. he had a few questions which i answered honestly and he never batted an eyelid.. he just accepted it he is now 22. I also felt that i should tell my youngest..he is 16 now again he had a few questions but simply turned round and said it does not matter your still my dad... so what... if your daughter has a good relationship with your wife then its my bet she already knows and maybe was not sure how to talk to you about it. good luck ..im sure you will be ok

[Karren H]

just let it be, everythings fine

Yeah!! If she has questions she will ask you or your wife!

[LisaM]

I agree with Karen. If she wants answers then she will ask your wife.

[boardpuppy]

Yes, take it slow and easy, your daughter will talk about your DCing (to you) or not. Well, if she talks to your SO, does sleeping on the couch sound familiar. I hope you all the best.

Hugs,
Alice

[allysen]

I hope that I never get caught especially by my childre

[Aleca]

It will take a while for the shock of it to wear off Tamyra as it was too big a surprise for you getting discovered. Try to keep as busy as possible around home to allow time to go by. Try to sort out your feelings, write out your feelings when your daughter is not around and practice what you could say. Good luck!

[Angie G]

If all is quiet leave it there Tammy. What your daughter seen may not have processed as to what she had seen.:hugs:
Angie

[tamyracd]

Thanks for all the support and advice...!! Everything seems to good so far i've only seen my daughter for a few minutes this weekend but have talked with her several times on the phone I think i'll just let things be and go from there....again thanks for your support ...this site and you sisters are great!!

[TJ Tresa]

Tell your wife about it and ask her if she would test the waters, so to speak and see if your actually noticed or not; and if so if she is alright. then you and your wife maybe able to find a good opertunity to come out to her fully. But talk to your wife first, you don't want to allianate her, see how your wife feels about it first. Good luck, TJ Tresa.

[Marissa]

When I finally decided to tell my daughter.. she told me that my ex talked to her about it.. yes i'm angry at my ex for discussing something like that with my daugher (her stepdaughter) without letting me know..

but then again, it made it easier to talk about it now..

maybe she knew..but never saw..and now.. well something to see how it goes...

mothers do protect their children.. even more so than their husbands.. so maybe it was spilled a bit back..ask your wife..

[Midnight Skye]

If I were you I would talk to her (since she's old enough to be emotionally developed to handle the situation). If you don't talk to her its likely her imagination will fill in the details and leave an even more misconstruded and confused image of you. My stepson figured out I was dressing, but we delayed talking to him. And in an effort to figure out what was going on he started talking to others outside of the family. This all came out when we finaly told him (where things went very smoothly).

Just make sure to talk to your wife first.

[Hope]

Don't worry about it.

She is 23, not 8, and even if she were 8, she is not made out of unfired porcelain. She won't break, she will be fine. She knows all about the birds and the bees and inserting tab D into slot A, B and C. Chances are good that she has direct knowledge. She is a 23 year old woman, not a fragile flower.

Seriously. This is not a therapy inducing situation.

As long as you don't act like you have cancer - she won't either.

Now - if the issue for you is embarrassment - well... that is like running from a bear in the woods: if you act like prey, you will become prey.

You don't have cancer, or some horrible disease or whatever that is going to destroy your family and the world along with it. Unless you think you do. Unless you act like you do.

[UASIANGAL]

Hmmm..... we can all feel your pain and anxiety on this. As long as you are not shoving it into others faces, you should allow yourself to be happy. Isn't that your right : To pursue happiness!

I've almost got caught once when I was a teenager. I heard noises and I hid until the path was clear to my room. Maybe that is an advice for you, HIDE when you hear noises instead of sticking your pretty little head out the door!

[Lisa Golightly]

She may have seen something... It's not as though it was a bumper to bumper collision... Those were always the oddest ones... 'Oh.. Errr... Hello!?!'. I reckon she had more on her mind than you getting ready to go out... I always go into blind panic mode for at least two hours prior to departure :)

Besides she's 23 and living at home... Is she going to rock the boat?... I don't think so.

Lisa x

[Melora]

She is an adult!!
This whole blog is about "Coming OUT" to our loved ones!
Is it not?
Sooo ...
I dont know if I would do it,, It is about the relationship between you and Your daughter..
DID She actually see You.. "What" Are the reprocussions?
You Decide for yourself, As Only You know the possible reprocussions of your choices.
And the possible probabilities of the relationships between You and Your daughter. = Your Choice!

[Vicky_Scot]

I'm embarrassed and quite ashamed to be honest....It was starting out as such a good weekend too.

Why were you ashamed and embarrassed?

I think you have to address this before anything.

Xx Vicky xX

[MsJanessa]

I suspect she probably has known about your crossdressing for quite some time---maybe through a talk with her Mom or maybe by just putting 2 and 2 togather or possibly both of the above.--it would be hard to believe that a 23 year old woman who has been living in your house for 23 years wouldn't know---the fact that she didn't say anything to you the other day leads me to believe that it was no suprise to her.