What have I gotten into?

[Marsha K]

Over a month ago my wife and I traded underwear for the day. I asked if I could do it again the next day. She said she didn’t care. So I wore one of hers the next day (and I’ve been wearing panties 24/7 since). The next eve she asked me if we should buy me some WHITE ones of my own, because what if something happens to you (accident). I shrugged and said I guess some one will see it. She said yeah I guess that’s true. A week later I asked if we could get me some underwear when we pay a bill. She asked if I was thinking the bottoms or the tops too. I said bottoms. She asked,” You aren’t going crossdresser on me are you, or wanting to turn into a girl?” I was caught off guard so I said, “I would make an ugly girl and no I don’t want to be a girl. I love the one I have.”(and I kissed her). She went with me and we bought a pack of 6 assorted colors panties from Target. She gave me some of her smaller ones as my own. I thought that wearing panties was good enough for me, BUT…. This past weekend I was to drive a shuttle bus for 2 eight hour shifts. Well I decided to get a few items from Walgreens. So I got to work early each driving time and put on knee highs, a white strapless bra (with padding), and a pair of my daughter’s jeans(she got skinny). No one seemed to notice but I was constantly aware of what I had on even though I greeted every passenger as they got on and off. I got very comfortable dressed that way. I took them off before returning home each time. Now that the driving is done, I miss it. :daydreaming: Now I think I want to do more of this, but I really want my wife’s approval too.
My wife doesn’t know I did this. She only knows I wear panties 24/7.
Now for my questions.

1) Is just wearing panties 24/7 considered cross dressing?
2) How can I gently or slowly bring this up to her that I like to wear other things too?

Sorry this is long, but I wanted to tell someone this. I couldn’t keep it bottled up any more. :whew!:

Thank you,
Marsha K

[Miranda09]

Marsha, don't worry about labels. If you enjoy the panties, wear them. It seems your wife doesn't mind. As for going further, don't keep it a secret. Talk to her about it and see where it goes. Honesty is always the best. It's obvious you both have a loving relationship and trust plays a big role here. You don't want her finding out on her own. Ask any GG on this site and they'll confirm this. Good luck.

Miranda :)

[Summer]

I also think she already knows, just tell her you would like to experiment further! See what the reaction is.

I'm lucky this way my wife has known even before we were married.

If she says don't then don't.

Summer

[Kaz]

Marsha, who instigated the trading underwear game... you or your wife? This is important!

[Sheila]

Marsha, who instigated the trading underwear game... you or your wife? This is important!

and had you Crossdressed before this ?

[mklinden2010]

Yep, get in front of the issue and tell her what you're up to...

(Odds are she already knows you're a bit goofy, right? Good.)

You both have a better chance always being happy if this goes forward as a joint project.

That question has come up before, you know...

"What, do you want to be a girl?"

A smart response is:

"Well, babe, it's working GREAT for you!"

And then, as they say, "They're off and running!"

But, they ARE running together....

[Sheila]

so I found this "Shortly after we were married" (http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/showpost.php?p=1684219&postcount=50) .................... and this time you don't plan on stopping ....... yup you know it's CDING !!!!!!!!!

[Phyliss Hdson]

Hi Marsha,
Dont wait to long to tell her, as she will probly find out anyway. As mine did, It will be much easier coming fro you.
Hugs Phyliss

[Marsha K]

Kaz, I asked if she wanted to trade. She said If you want. She wore mine till 10:am

Sheila, I guess I did crossdress before a couple times. (I'm still looking for those pictures)

Maryklinden, Odds are she already knows you're a bit goofy, right? Yes she says I am.:)

We've been married almost 25 years. She did buy me a pack of panties early on in our marriage, but kids came along and I stashed them somewhere so they "wouldn't know" and quit at that time. (I'll need to find them in my garage somewhere)


I probably should ask her how she feels about me wearing panties first. Could I tell her that wearing panties is a form of crossdressing? I just don't want her to get upset with me or tell me to stop wearing panties too.

Thanks for your responses,
Marsha K

[mklinden2010]

>>>I probably should ask her how she feels about me wearing panties first. Could I tell her that wearing panties is a form of crossdressing? I just don't want her to get upset with me or tell me to stop wearing panties too.


Fer cryin' out loud...

Then don't ask her that, or, tell her the other thing...

Tell her how YOU feel about it and let her think it over.

Things will go a lot better if you let her consider how to make you happy and she comes up with the words:

"Hey, bub, I have an idea... Let's get you some gear!"

After 25 years of living with you, she probably can't wait to yank your chain around a little bit...

Good luck.

And, don't come crying to me when she gets you something that doesn't fit right, or, is not your color, but you feel you have to wear anyway because SHE gave it to you...

Just bear your cross as best you can.

[Carly D.]

I would say as long as you like to cross dress and don't want to trans then tell her that you like the bottom half of being a girl.. wearing panties pantyhose and jeans.. (bra too).. what bra too did you say?? hell man.. what will be next?? a dress?? you cross dresser.. is wearing panties only considered cross dressing?? do you want it to be?? I think it is if you are trying to have it mean what you want it to mean.. same as piercing the ears and wearing ear rings... I however don't think of what I wear as cross dressing.. I wear panties... pantyhose... tights (not while wearing pantyhose.. ok once in a while) ...skirt.. top... dress (again not while wearing a top or skirt)... and the wigged out wig... is that cross dressing... (heels too).. what, heels too.... I be a cross dresser but want to be known as a herring.. that's right when I dress this way I want it to be called being a fish.. I'm fishing... it means the same as cross dressing.. I looked it up.. ok I guess that's a fib.... never mind...

[Jenniferpl]

Half the fun of wear panties is the cut and feel of the frabic. You are what you are. Label it any way you want. Just be honest with your wife. Sounds like she will be supportive. Take it slow and see were it takes you.

It all about the journey.

[Angie G]

Your a person with somewhat normal need as we all do. talk to your wife. I did 3 years ago and now I fully dress 5 days a week. So go for it but go SLOW hun!:hugs:
Angie

[Paige.]

Marsha,
She knows and I bet she wants more. Your strory reminds of my first experience with my then b/f in college. We were fooling around in bed before getting down to business. I was wearing a heavy, thick nightgown and just for fun I peeled it off and threw it over his head. He went crazy, and wouldn't stop loving me.

Afterwards he said it was the smell of me and my perfume in the robe, and the silky feel of it on his skin that set him off.

The next time we were together he asked if he could wear my robe again since it was such a big hit. Then he said he wondered what it would be like if he wore other “stuff” so I asked him if would like to wear my panties. He lit up like a Cheshire cat and said yes, so I let him choose a pair from my drawer. At first it was a little weird to see him in my panties, and yes he had his accidents in them. I thought it was so cool he was so affected.

It took a little time but next was a skirt, and then my bra, tops etc. We finally went to thrift stores and he got his own starter kit. We eventually evolved to the point where I feminized him pretty good. That was never a goal but it was an end product because he was ready and willing. I couldn’t help being affected by his sexual excitement and to this day I find it contagious when a man is excited by feeling pretty and feminine.

So my first experience was enjoyable and I am guessing your wife feels the same. Ask her if it is ok for you to try something else in addition to her panties. But ask her permission and let her bring you into it. Tell her you like it and I think she will understand and help you.

[Christina Horton]

Ok here's the labels per say.

1. You were panties hose bra but you don't want to dress as a women ...
Transvetite

2. You want to dress fully as a woman...
Crossdresser

3. You want a sex change...
Transsexual

4. Your gay or your an entertaner..
Drag Queen

There it is in a nut shell. More or less. You must figger out where you fit if you need to know. Just be you Hun. That's all we need to be.

I am not gay. I am proud to call myself a crossdresser. Be proud Hun allways.

[karynspanties]

Drag Queen and transvestite..............I HATE those words.:thumbsdn:

[DianneRoberts]

Words, especially labels can hurt so badly.

Do you know what I like to be called............

"Dianne"

:hugs:
Dianne

[Christina Horton]

Drag Queen and transvestite..............I HATE those words.:thumbsdn:

Why it's like hating the words icecream and pizzia. There just words Hun. If your not one then don't worrie about it. People think I am gay cuz I have long painted nails 24/7 , but I could care less. So don't hate our word friends they have done nothing wrong.

[Sandra]

and a pair of my daughter’s jeans(she got skinny).




FGS leave your daughters clothes alone, :Angry3:

Talk to your wife about what you are doing.

[Marsha K]

FGS leave your daughters clothes alone, :Angry3:

Her jeans were thrown out, not in her drawer.
I have access to a used clothing agency where they discard their excess weekly.


Why I asked about the label of crossdresser is because it seemed that my wife doesn't like me being a "Crossdresser" according to her thoughts as to what one is. I will leave this term out of our conversations until I/we are more comfortable with me dressing.

Last night I told my wife that wearing panties is exciting to me.

I really apreciate all of your support. I think I know what I like. I just don't want to blow a good thing. I just need to know how slow to go. I would like to jump in but that would be a BIG mistake.

Many years ago I did once come to bed in a stuffed bra of hers. She was not impressed and later I felt quite stupid for doing it. Yes I have dressed a few other times. Once when I was about 8, and a couple times when my wife was gone to work.

I do hope this continues to be an exciting adventure.


Thank You,
Marsha K

[docrobbysherry]

I started dressing in my 50's, just over 10 years ago. With a pair of woman's jeans. I thot they felt "cool" back then!:)

NOW, look at me!:eek:
And let me WARN U, IT'S WAY MORE EXCITING NOW!:D
Than it was just trying on THOSE jeans!:heehee:

[beenherelongtime]

You want to take it further. She has reacted good to your wearing panties, but you say she is worried about crossdressing. I think I would try to settle this with her before going any further. What is she afraid of, what turns her off. You have been married many years and she probably loves you very much, and she knows you by now, so I don't think she'll worry about you turning into a "woman". Good luck.

[Carly D.]

Ok here's the labels per say.

1. You were panties hose bra but you don't want to dress as a women ...
Transvetite

2. You want to dress fully as a woman...
Crossdresser

3. You want a sex change...
Transsexual

4. Your gay or your an entertaner..
Drag Queen

There it is in a nut shell. More or less. You must figger out where you fit if you need to know. Just be you Hun. That's all we need to be.

I am not gay. I am proud to call myself a crossdresser. Be proud Hun allways.

Actually I would say a cross dresser wears everything or a few articles of womens clothing.. a transvestite tries to pass as a woman when wearing the clothing.. or that's how I always have thought of it.. the rest is pretty much spot on.. to be a cross dresser you wear womens clothing and pass or not pass.. transvestite you not only try to pass but live the life as a woman but not really want to transition to woman.. I'm probably wrong here.. ignore me.. everybody does...

[linnea]

You've already broached the subject, and she has shown her willingness to accept your panty-wearing. I would say that there is no real point to going extra slow. Just talk to her about your wanting to experience and experiment more and see what see says or what she asks.

[Maria in heels]

Marsha...yes, it sounds like you are crossdressing to me. There is nothing wrong with what you are doing, and as I, we are so lucky to have a SO that is understanding...have fun!

[Hope]

You don't have to tell her that you are a crossdresser, or a transvestite, or a transsexual, or any other label. And for the love of all that is holy and good, do not behave as if you have some sort of horrible disease that is going to ruin your relationship.

Tell her you like wearing panties - they are comfy, they make you feel girlish, whatever. Tell her you would like to try a bra, or pantyhose, or a skirt, or - whatever has your fancy right now. See how that goes. Ask her to paint your toe nails. Shave your legs. Ask her to show you how to apply eye shadow - Whatever has captured your interest.

You don't have to have all the answers - but you will be in a much better situation if you honestly talk about how you feel with your wife. That and she will think your telling her how you feel is keen.

You don't have to tell her - you are an adult human being and have every right to conceal parts of yourself from others - but it will be better for you if you man up and talk to your wife. She sounds pretty cool so far - you have nothing to loose.

[Marsha K]

I think I’m getting addicted to this cross-dressing. :daydreaming:

Once my wife and daughter (12 yrs old at the time) put 20 barrettes in my hair. Another time at a lakeside cottage (for a week) with friends, I painted my wife’s and daughter’s toe nails and they painted mine. I left it on for 2 weeks. This thread is bringing back memories. I hope there are more to come. But…

I’m torn between taking this farther or just enjoy coming this far, but I guess there probably is no turning back now. At least I hope I don’t screw it up royally with the telling of my wife.

I love all of your comments and I take them seriously. A line from a song keeps coming to my mind though. “Do we hear what we want to hear and disregard the rest?” (Or something like that). I guess this is still kinda new to me. I’m trying to figure out where and who I am.

And to think this all started with me cleaning the garage and wanting to not hide anything from my wife any more.

I hope I make sence to someone, because I think I am still a bit conused with me. Enough of me rambling on.

Thank you for your care and support,
Marsha K

[Carly D.]

Actually I would say a cross dresser wears everything or a few articles of womens clothing.. a transvestite tries to pass as a woman when wearing the clothing.. or that's how I always have thought of it.. the rest is pretty much spot on.. to be a cross dresser you wear womens clothing and pass or not pass.. transvestite you not only try to pass but live the life as a woman but not really want to transition to woman.. I'm probably wrong here.. ignore me.. everybody does...

I think it is a gray area as far as what is what, where crossdressing and transvestism is concerned.. if I were to tell my family or friends that I am a cross dresser they would likely say a transvestite and vice versa.. so it gets lost in translation regardless where or how or... you know??

[Marsha K]

Actually I would say a cross dresser wears everything or a few articles of womens clothing.....

Okay I am a crossdresser. :eek:Wow, That sounds uniquely exciting and scary!?!!:heehee:
Now that we determined that, the next step will be talking a lot to my wife about my feelings without putting a label on me. I guess just go with the flow. Talk... and more talk is the best thing for a secure relationship.

The more I think(and post) about this the more comfortable I,m becoming.
I now recall past events in my life that show my femm side. (That was scary to say!!) I guess I,m just a jumble of emotions.

I hope all of this goes well.
Thanks to all of you for your support of me thru this adventure.

Marsha K

[Christina Horton]

Actually I would say a cross dresser wears everything or a few articles of womens clothing.. a transvestite tries to pass as a woman when wearing the clothing.. or that's how I always have thought of it.. the rest is pretty much spot on.. to be a cross dresser you wear womens clothing and pass or not pass.. transvestite you not only try to pass but live the life as a woman but not really want to transition to woman.. I'm probably wrong here.. ignore me.. everybody does...

What to you mean , "ignore me.. everybody does..."? you mean here on this site or in your every day life, outside of here. If so then make them see you. Oh My Uncle is a transvestite he Under dresses but does not want to try to look like a women like I do. The meaning of the "labels" can differ from person to person so We think of them all differently so no prob. HUGGS :hugs: :canada:


Okay I am a crossdresser. :eek:Wow, That sounds uniquely exciting and scary!?!!:heehee:
Now that we determined that, the next step will be talking a lot to my wife about my feelings without putting a label on me. I guess just go with the flow. Talk... and more talk is the best thing for a secure relationship.

The more I think(and post) about this the more comfortable I,m becoming.
I now recall past events in my life that show my femm side. (That was scary to say!!) I guess I,m just a jumble of emotions.

I hope all of this goes well.
Thanks to all of you for your support of me thru this adventure.

Marsha K


Ok girl now............ It ok you feel this way ,
your not doing anything wrong,

It's not against the law,

your not a freak,

your normal,

you fabulous,

Femm,

Your going to be fine , just be honest with your self AND your Wife and you should be ok. I say should cuz not all girls here that have come out ti there wife's were ok some , are divorced , or there wife's hate , despise it, or don't like it but will allow them to dress but not in sight of them EVER. So you must be prepared for anything to happen. Don't think it will be easy for her, She did married a MAN yes. so there's My :2c: Good luck and HUGGS to you and your wife. :canada:

[kristinacd55]

Marsha,
She knows and I bet she wants more. Your strory reminds of my first experience with my then b/f in college. We were fooling around in bed before getting down to business. I was wearing a heavy, thick nightgown and just for fun I peeled it off and threw it over his head. He went crazy, and wouldn't stop loving me.

Afterwards he said it was the smell of me and my perfume in the robe, and the silky feel of it on his skin that set him off.

The next time we were together he asked if he could wear my robe again since it was such a big hit. Then he said he wondered what it would be like if he wore other “stuff” so I asked him if would like to wear my panties. He lit up like a Cheshire cat and said yes, so I let him choose a pair from my drawer. At first it was a little weird to see him in my panties, and yes he had his accidents in them. I thought it was so cool he was so affected.

It took a little time but next was a skirt, and then my bra, tops etc. We finally went to thrift stores and he got his own starter kit. We eventually evolved to the point where I feminized him pretty good. That was never a goal but it was an end product because he was ready and willing. I couldn’t help being affected by his sexual excitement and to this day I find it contagious when a man is excited by feeling pretty and feminine.

So my first experience was enjoyable and I am guessing your wife feels the same. Ask her if it is ok for you to try something else in addition to her panties. But ask her permission and let her bring you into it. Tell her you like it and I think she will understand and help you.

Marsha, Looks like to me this is the way to pursue it! :)