The door to the closet finally opened.

[KarenS]

Well ladies, I finally found the intestinal fortitude to step out of the closet with my wife of 34 years. We had a rather quiet but very frank discussion about me dressing en-femme that lasted about 50 minutes.
She knows now that I have been doing this since I was 6 or 7 years old -- far and away longer than we have been married.
I told her how I felt about it, that I don't understand it but am learning to live with it. I told her I seek information, knowledge and advice from you. I told her where my stash is, and what is there. I told here when I last went out and that I attended a meeting with some other CD/TGs.
I told her the answers to the best of my abilities to every question she had. She did tell me she has know for awhile that I like to dress in womens clothing - but that I had voluntarily revealed before. Now she is clear that I am a CD.

She said she wasn't comfortable and it was hard for her but was concerned about discretion. I told her I shared her concern. And I also expressed to her that I too was extremely concerned about being discrete, and told her why – concern for OUR Relationship, our respective careers, family, daughters, church, neighbors, etc.
I was as truthful, honest, and as candid as I could possibly be. I believe she was genuinely appreciative of my honesty. I told her I have been hiding this as a personal burden all my life and now I have shared the burden with her to help me carry it. It hurts me to know she will have to carry the burden also.

The truth does hurt – even to express it. Hopefully, the hurt will go away to reveal a more honest and loving relationship. There were no crocodile tears nor laughter but there was a very warm embrace and a clear verbal statement of love from both of us.

I’m physically a bit shaky, :hypnotized: and my stomach is churning at the moment. I'm also getting a headache. I’ll try to post more later.

[Jocelyn Quivers]

Even though my circumstances and situation was very different than yours in coming out to my SO, I know the feeling your going through in actually telling your SO that you are a cross dresser.

From what you have posted you handled coming out as best as possible.:2c:

[Angie G]

That a good thing Karen. Keep talking and go slow it will help her get a handle on it hun.:hugs:
Angie

[paulaN]

Talk,talk,then talk some more.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Good for you, Karen. You have my respect, it's not an easy thing to do. My best to you and your family, I truly hope things work out well for you.

Hugs...Joni Marie

[Christina Horton]

way-to-go-girl!!! I know that statement is tossed around a lot but it sounds good every time. Now go slow and lighten up hun she loves you yes. Since she loves you to carry this burden as you call it is what two people In love need to do , other wise the love dies. Good for you Hun. Good luck and God speed.

[Jenniferpl]

Way to go girl. Go slow and and respect her wishes. Give it time and you will be amazed at what can happen.

[5150 Girl]

My previous SO found out by finding a few items of my "stash". She was furious because she thought I was dating another woman. I had to try stuff on for her to proove I wasn't a cheeter, and even then she still had a small degree of doubt. THat is, untill one day she caught me in the act of dressing. Eventulaly reached an agreement that Nonnie would be kept out of her sight, and inside the house. With the lodgical exceptoin of Haloween I kept that agreement. In time, she even gave me some of her old clothes. (again, with the keep it out her sight provision) When she left me, 99.9% of her reasoning was financhial.

When I met my new SO it was a breif meeting and I was en-drab. When our paths crossed again it was Haloween and I was Sarah Palin. She noticed I was to pretty for this to be a one time thing, and we had a discussion about it. Our fist kiss was even that night. She hasn't seen me dressed scince, but she's seen pics. This new one even seems to delight in telling her family and freinds she's daitng a CDer.

[Sandra]

Just keep talking to her and do things at her pace. Just remember she may have days when she really doesn't want anything to do with your cding, don't push things as it will only make mattters worse.

Don't forget to tell her about the FAB fourm we have here :)

[Tasha McIntyre]

Hi Karen,

Gee, your post sums up very well everything I was thinking and went through late last year when I fessup up to my wife. She knew I had a thing for the pink stuff, but had no idea of the depth, or the decades of hiding. Her fears re discretion were / are the same as your wifes. I so wish I had been up front years ago, but sadly lacked the courage.....also would have been nice to know about a support / info forum like this.

The key to living with crossdressing (I'm sure you aleady know) is open, honest and constant communication. Setting boundaries I think is a natural progression to talking.

Good luck.

Tash :)

[DianneRoberts]

Someday CD will be no different than having a Tatoo or not.
I wish that day was now !

[Vieja]

Good luck and I really hope all turns out well for you.

Vieja

[Samantha Kelsey]

Hi Karen, It takes great courage to do what you have done and you obviously weighed up many things before you did it. The main thing now is to remain fully open to her questions but without pushing it on to her. Go at her pace.
I found a major change in my/our lives for the better after a few unsteady weeks. We did divorce a few years later for other reasons. My next girfriend knew everything before our relationship started.
Good luck and best wishes to you both.

[Carly D.]

I know the one thing that your wife or anyone (that I might tell) when you say that you don't understand why you do it.. that is the same for me.. I just don't understand why I dress this way.. sometimes the want is so strong it outweighs logic..

[silkandsatincd]

Hi Karen,

I'm happy for you that you were finally able to open up about your feminine desires. It was very difficult for me as well. I will say it get easier to deal with in time. Best Wishes.

[TJ Tresa]

Well done Ms Karen, and good luck. I hope everything goes well. Don't push too hard, and maybe she would like to join our forum and talk to other GGs for moral support and Questions that you couldn't answeer from a GGs point of view.
I understand trying to keep it quite or discrete. My wife knows and a couple of Gay female that are close friends. My family doesn't know. My wife is very supportive, in fact if I go too long without dressing she will ask, "Where is Tresa?"
So again I wish you the best. TJ Tresa.

[TSchapes]

Another one does that right thing! Keep it up girls! Minimally our SO's need to know!

And unlike a lot of predictions of what bad things can possibly happen, Karen is an example of how to do it the right way!

Way to go to Karen! :hugs:

-Tracy

[KarenS]

Thank you all so much for your encouragement and support. It really is because of you that I found the fortitude to be honest with my wife.

The discussion between my wife and I the other day was an honest and open exchange about me being a cross-dresser. In the past she has seen me wear lingerie only for very short periods of time only when we were intimate. On those occasions, what she observed was very limited attire. I believe that until now, she has seen my behavior as only a fetish / role playing.

I posted before that she shopped with me for a bra. The night before she shopped with me we had one of those intimate occasions where I was partially dressed - seemingly as a fetish. The experience was fresh on her mind while we were out. I believe she was under the impression the purchase was only to provide additional costume for fetish role play. The shopping for a bra experience was a spur of the moment answer to an opportunity I was looking for. I brought it up rather abruptly while we happened to be in a clothiung store. Honestly, I deliberately perpetuated the context of the role playing situation during the shopping. But, it was also a deliberate step I took on a path to come out to her

The difference between the shopping and the discussion we had the other day is a clear understanding that the behavior previously witnessed was much, much more than simply fetish role play. Never before has she been aware of me under-dressing at all and never over-dressing or outside the home. She now knows that I have under-dressed and over dressed off and on over the years and that I under-dress frequently.

She knows that I have collected a stash and purged several times and started again a new collection. She also knows that I currently have a complete ‘wardrobe’ that incldes skirts, tops, dresses, lingerie, shoes, hairpieces, jewelry, makeup, breast forms, and the rest of the trimmings. I have told her that I try to dress in a conservative, lady like, and age appropriate manner. She now realizes that when I dress, I sometimes dress en-femme from head to toe and that I do it frequently, rather than simply once every two to four years as an intimate role playing adventure to add spice to life.

I know there will be questions from her and additional discussion for quite some time. We haven’t had a boundary discussion yet but I told her that if she wanted to establish some boundaries that would be fine. I also told her if she simply wanted to not see or hear about any of it that I would respect her wishes.
I found it difficult to reveal everything to her because I feared what she might think and do. Potentially, that I might lose her. She is concerned (and I think rightfully so) about our daughters finding out and being discrete.

I let her know that I wish to share this part ofme with her but that it is up to her. I feel good about not hiding anything now and intend to try to let her decide the pace to further discussion.


I'm feeling good about where we are right now.

[suit]

Someday CD will be no different than having a Tatoo or not.
I wish that day was now !

how about the other way around ??!
crossdressing should be less an isue than having a tatoo... after all you can change clothes!

unless like in the illistraed man.. they make the tatoo's out of liquid crystal ...
and put a net work under the skin....and make them move.....hahahhha( very maniacal laughter) then some one could hack your body art ! change the pass word and play head games ( more menical laughter! )

ooh and does posting here constatute copy right ? mmmmmm