new girl

[lisajd]

I came out to my wife 2 years ago, shes been somewhat supportive,but after having wanting to be a girl for ever i think i want to go all the way. I do'nt know where to start. But i cannot stop my feelings!. Hard since my career has been a fireman and building contrator. But when i'm girly i can't stop it anymore!

[Sharon]

It's practically a pat answer, Lisa, but the best course to take when you have so many questions is to talk to a good therapist, preferably a gender therapist.

In the meantime, why don't you tell us about yourself and what you are feeling? :)

[CharleneT]

Are the feelings that you say you cannot stop about dressing up ? When you are doing "girly" do you feel calm or excited or "turned on" or ???

[Kaitlyn Michele]

To follow up Charlene.....this is a TS forum so i'm assuming that you are talking about "being a woman" on the inside, vs wanting to dress up...

I am sorry to say, that pretty much every woman that's TS in my life has said that the "feeling" never goes away and the more you fight it, the more it consumes you... so you do need professional help to work through that..

Are you happy and comfortable as a guy. but want to feel womanly sometimes??? Or do you feel you are a woman and you are uncomfortable around your guy friends...i always felt i was just trying to figure out what the guys were doing...and i did it...worked real well for about 40 years....not so well after that...heh..it is VERY common for TS women to work in macho male dominated fields, perhaps compensating in the everyday and work world to prove to others what you actually know is untrue...(how sad!), so your work situation is understandable

So if you can, tell us a bit more and maybe somebody can help you out.

Best wishes,
Michele

[lisajd]

Well here goes, i'm in my 40's, married with 2 kids. I have been crossdressing since my teen years and before that sneaking bras and other girly things to try on. I have always kept it well hidden no one ever knew. when i was younger my mothers friends would say i'd be a good looking girl. My wife caught me 2 years ago,hard at first but then she and i would go shopping for me (lisa). Now feelings r so powerful i can't stop wanting to be in the girly mode all the time, I'm in shape and my wife says i could pass easly, I don't know where to start. I seen a theipist last month, but did'nt like her, could'nt open up. I don't think i'm just a crossdresser i want to become a woman but don't know how. We live in a small town theripst r 150 miles away.any help would be wonderful.
Thankyou.
Lisa

[morgan51]

I'm in a small town also but dont let that scare you away from a therapist they are there to help you make the right decisions for you reality is this is a difficult decision and I can use all the help I can get. If you can drive to the therapy sessions it will be well worth the time. Morgan

[Sejd]

I would say, try another therapist, you need a lot of support to do what you are now about to do. Your story sounds just like mine, and I am now 58 and about to start HRT. It takes a strong partner, a devoted wife to go through what you are about to do, so my suggestion is two fold: Go slowly, and go with a solid professional help. Then I think it is possible.
good luck
Sejd

[Sigrid Cutie]

hi Lisa, your story sounds a lot like mine i'm also married and have 1 kid, i'm 34 and i'm seeing a gender therapist, she is helping a lot, and hopefully soon i'll start with hormone therapy.

so my advice is find a therapist you feel ok with.

Sigrid

[pamela_a]

Your story sounds like mine also Lisa. I'm 50, married with 2 children and just started seeing a gender therapist. I know what you mean when you say you couldn't open up to the first therapist you saw, I couldn't either (a male). The one I'm seeing now is female and she's absolutely wonderful.

As others have said, it's a tough enough road to transition and IMO having a good gender therapist makes a major difference. Even if it's a drive it's well worth it.


Best to you.

-Paula-

[Eileen]

Yes try another therapist, a gender therapist. Those with strong feminine feelings often find it difficult if not impossible to stop their desire to live as a woman. The road you are considering is a difficult one, so get professional help.

Eileen

[Jenna1561]

Hi Lisa, everyone is of course correct: find a therapist whom you are comfortable with. They will provide a lot of help. Even if you can only make the drive every few weeks, perhaps you can have Telephone sessions. I've never tried those, but have heard of some using that technique.

As for your marriage, it's wonderful that your spouse is "somewhat" supportive of your Crossdressing. But when it comes HRT and transitioning, her feelings may change. I don't have any empirical data on hand, but I believe most marriages do not survive a transition.

Your therapist and you need to fully consider how transitioning MAY affect your life and whether you can live with the consequences or if you can live as you are, but still in a supportive relationship.

In my case, I am pre-op and fully transitioned only about a month ago. It has cost me several "friendships" and will cost me my marriage (she hasn't spoken to me in about 6 weeks and says she will file for divorce). My children (15, 17,19,21) don't know but I am making my last appearance as Jake and telling them this weekend and I am afraid of losing them.

For me, I have to transition to survive, but it has torn my life and their lives apart. Be sure you understand, as best as you can, what may happen to your life and the lives of those you love.

Don't go this alone, find a therapist.

Jen