Ignored?

[featherelizabeth]

I find it difficult to connect with people in my sphere; it seems that their agenda is more important than any .02 I have to give...my sister is the only family member I can connect with (on my side) and she knows everything, more or less. Yet, as soon as I mention anything about my life to her in our telephone conversations, she craftily turns the conversation into something about her...feels like she has no respect for me because she knows about my lifestyle. Have two awesome kids, a lovely SO who accepts me (or so it would seem) and have been the housewife for a couple too many years, due to wanting to go back to school and a major move. Truth be told, I would love to have a job...house and kids are driving me crazy...yet do you ever feel diminished by your choices of dressing? Do you ever feel like you aren't being taken seriously...no matter HOW serious YOU are being? I feel so boxed in, kept down......grrrrrrr.........

[Christina Horton]

sorry you feel that way Hun , can't say I have ever felt that way.

[Jessica Who]

I find it difficult to connect with people in my sphere; it seems that their agenda is more important than any .02 I have to give...my sister is the only family member I can connect with (on my side) and she knows everything, more or less. Yet, as soon as I mention anything about my life to her in our telephone conversations, she craftily turns the conversation into something about her...feels like she has no respect for me because she knows about my lifestyle. Have two awesome kids, a lovely SO who accepts me (or so it would seem) and have been the housewife for a couple too many years, due to wanting to go back to school and a major move. Truth be told, I would love to have a job...house and kids are driving me crazy...yet do you ever feel diminished by your choices of dressing? Do you ever feel like you aren't being taken seriously...no matter HOW serious YOU are being? I feel so boxed in, kept down......grrrrrrr.........

Sorry to hear that Elizabeth, maybe try telling your sister that you would like to talk about yourself once in a while :)

[Karren H]

My wife is the same way.... When ever crossdressing comes up.... click.... change the subject!!! Your sister is just not comfortable with it and probably never will be.... So personally I would not push it on her since you may loose her as a sister and a friend.... but that's just me.....

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

Sorry you're feeling ignored and boxed in, Elizabeth. I can understand how frustrating that must make you feel.

Do you think that maybe your sister just likes to talk about herself to people? It may not be cd-related that causes her to behave this way. She might simply work any conversation about someone else into a conversation about herself. Good or bad, it's a common personality trait I've seen in many people. Perhaps try letting her know directly that you need to talk about yourself for a while and see if that gets anywhere with her.

In terms of not being taken seriously, I tend to not take people seriously who do not take me seriously. Once I pick up on that behavior, I'm usually done dealing that that person. If it is someone I need to deal with, I'll try to figure out what they respond to and work from that angle.

Good luck with things. :)

[Joanne f]

So now you know what it is like to be a housewife, taken for granted and no one takes you serious :D, the bonus bit is that if you are never taken serious then you can get away with a lot more :heehee:

[linnea]

My wife is the same way.... When ever crossdressing comes up.... click.... change the subject!!! Your sister is just not comfortable with it and probably never will be.... So personally I would not push it on her since you may loose her as a sister and a friend.... but that's just me.....

I think that Karren is probably right, although there are people who are so self-absorbed that they just don't want to digress from attention on their own issues or concerns.
I've never felt diminished, but my situation is quite different from yours.

[linnea]

So now you know what it is like to be a housewife, taken for granted and no one takes you serious :D, the bonus bit is that if you are never taken serious then you can get away with a lot more :heehee:

I'm glad that Joanne mentioned this too because I think that all too often it is true that housewives get taken for granted and not taken seriously--sad.

[Persephone]

I find it difficult to connect with people in my sphere; it seems that their agenda is more important than any .02 I have to give...my sister is the only family member I can connect with (on my side) and she knows everything, more or less. Yet, as soon as I mention anything about my life to her in our telephone conversations, she craftily turns the conversation into something about her...feels like she has no respect for me because she knows about my lifestyle. Have two awesome kids, a lovely SO who accepts me (or so it would seem) and have been the housewife for a couple too many years, due to wanting to go back to school and a major move. Truth be told, I would love to have a job...house and kids are driving me crazy...yet do you ever feel diminished by your choices of dressing? Do you ever feel like you aren't being taken seriously...no matter HOW serious YOU are being? I feel so boxed in, kept down......grrrrrrr.........

I think I know what you are feeling, Elizabeth. I'm a homemaker and have been one for about 18 years and yes, it sometimes does feel like we come in third behind spouse and kids.

Part of it is the nature of what we do. While we long for some recognition, a big part of our job is to be the oil in the family engine -- to make it run so smoothly that no-one realizes that it would come to a screeching halt without us.

We are the nurturers, we create the quality of life at home, we create the sacred nature of that refuge from the world, and we weave the social fabric for the family and it often feels like no-one notices; but they sure would if we didn't do it well! And that would not be a good thing.

Their achievements are a reflection of what we do; their achievements are, in no small part, our triumphs.

I'm sorry to hear about your sister, but mine is sometimes the same. On our last visit she gave me a tube of very lovely facial cleanser and a couple of feminine eyeglass frames, but if the conversation gets near my "lifestyle" she changes the subject.

My spouse comes home tired and she's really, really sweet about always offering me the option of dinner out, but she really prefers when I've made dinner and have it ready for her. I know that her day has likely been harder than my own.

The bottom line? "Beauty is best appreciated by those who strive to achieve it." There is probably only one group that really knows how you feel and that's other homemakers. You probably need to find, and bond with, them.

Maybe look for opportunities to volunteer during the day, you'll find kindred spirits there. Become active in the Lady's Auxiliary at your congregation and you'll find more kindred spirits there.

You don't have to crossdress to do these things. At first they may be skeptical of "Mr. Mom," but eventually, if you don't play "the Man," and just blend in, they'll likely begin to see you as "one of the girls."

And you may be lucky enough to find a few who will bond as best friends.

There are online communities of homemakers and moms as well.

Best thoughts and best wishes!
Persephone

[Tora]

As the housewife, HOME MAKER, it is a thankless job. But don't sell yourself short. As others have noted, it is a noble undertaking. My wife has spent 30 years managing the home, and now is assisting with the grandsons. Sometimes there is a shortage of adult conversation, which you noted.

Good luck.

[featherelizabeth]

You all kick ass! Merci oso much for the support...you are all gorgeous!!!11!!!