Wherever you hang your Bra is your Home

[Patrice]

I'm happier than I have been in a very long time. Ive let my fem-side out permanently and its the best thing Ive ever done, I wear what I want, when and where I want. I present myself as the Human Being I really am, not an artificial construct made to fit the role of 'man'. The vast majority of my friends are accepting, my family is glad I'm finally happy and at peace with myself, and non-discrimination policies and laws prevent my employer from interfering (I follow the non gender-specific dress-code scrupulously and keep my nose clean in all other ways).

But (isn't there always a 'but'?)

Life interferes, and I'm having to delve into the local housing market in search of a place to call my own, for the first time in my 39 years no less. I'm looking for an apartment.

The conundrum I'm facing, and the reason I post here, is this: Do I search for said housing honestly as myself or 'man-up' to get my foot in the door and let the lingerie fall where it may after I have a history as a reliable rent-payer?

Laws here in Oregon prohibit discrimination based on gender-identity in housing, but as we all know this is only as strong as the proof you can bring. Credit-issues (I couldn't get a $50 loan with 2 kidneys and a cornea as collateral) prohibit me from approaching the rental-agencies most likely to respect said law, so to the private individuals I must go.

I truly believe that its always best to begin a cash-based relationship (or any relationship really) in honesty, but an element of doubt always persists (card-carrying-chapter-founding cynic here). I cant help but wonder if my desire for honesty may be a hindrance here.

Any advice would be appreciated, particularly from those who have faced similar situations.

Thank you for reading my words

[Shikyo]

I guess it would depend on how you look like. The first impression you are going to be giving up to your new land lord is going to be important, if you can't prove your reliability in any way. Appearing in front of the new house lord as someone who "passes" as a girl, is not going to cause any problem. Even though you will have to explain the situation later on, unless you already have a feminine name. If you don't pass at all, it might just make the land lord suspicious about you and would prefer to get someone else into the apartment.

In the end, I doubt they really care at all if you dress like a girl or like your own sex as long as you keep paying the rent. Going there as a girl will work, but going there as a male will definitely work. I highly doubt anyone will kick you out just because they found out that you cross dress, so I really think the first impression is the hard step to get over with.

[deja true]

As you'll find out, it's really all about the neighbors. Unless your landlord lives on the premises, you'll hardly ever see him.

I note Grant's Pass is a pretty small community, otherwise I woulda suggested that you start your apt search in a local gay newpaper or bulletin board. That woulda put you in a place and an area that would already be on the accepting side. But you prolly don't have such a thing there, huh? Any gay organizations or bars in your pretty little town? Folks there might be able to help you out.

Good luck in the apt search, P. (Look for a place with it's own entrance and not a building full of retired loggers...LOL!)

:)

[Dressing Jill]

Be discrete when you have to. You do not have to tell all to all. What you do with your life is your business that everybody else's unless you are seeking attention all of the time.

Hugs :hugs:

Jill

[Billijo49504]

You better watch out. The land lord might charge you for 2 people. Your male side and your fem side:battingeyelashes: Hope things go well for you..BJ

[DonnaT]

I would suggest "manning up". Any references you give will be in relation to your guy self. So it will be less confusing to the apartment manager. And it's only for a short while, when looking and signing a lease.

They definitely can't kick you out for being yourself, once you've signed, according to the law there.

[Patrice]

I don't plan to be in full regalia as it were, I will be dressed smart, neat and casual. I don't pass at all (I believe anyway). I will be treating it matter-of-factly, not volunteering information but not denying anything either. Questions asked will be answered plainly.

*sigh* - Bottom line is I spent so many years lying about myself to myself and others, I just dont want to lie anymore.

[Carly D.]

I hang my hat in one room.. and my bra in another.. why did I respond to this??

[Fab Karen]

*sigh* - Bottom line is I spent so many years lying about myself to myself and others, I just dont want to lie anymore.
It's not relevant information to finding an apt. ( unless you're sharing a space ). If someone was a collector of Barbie Dolls for example, should they give out that info when trying to get an apt.? Omitting isn't the same as lying.