Neighbors and friends taking away my girl time.

[cindyscute]

Lately I have neighbors or friends stopping by when I planned to spend a few hours getting dressed and having some quiet girl time. By the time they leave Im too tired from listening to there life stories to want to get girlie. :sad: I hate to be rude but I may have to not answer my door so I can get some girl time in. Some times I wish I had accepting neighbors and friends so I could enjoy my girl time and visits also. Anyone else have these problems? People I know aren't the accepting type :sad:

[mklinden2010]

Well, you could free up a lot of time for CDing if you'd just tell them about yourself...

Right?

Unless, of course, that really doesn't phase 'em and they just keep right on dropping in on ya....

Which, I promise you, some of them always will.

[MAJESTYK]

You know, I dont mean to be flippant but, if they are that much of a bother and are not accepting, then dress and answer the door when they ring. Might work out for the best for both of you. Real friends wont mind and you can do both then, be yourself and be sociable. Just a thought

[Sandra]

It's your home and you can do what you like there, if your neighbours and friends don't like that then that's their problem not yours.... and if your friends then stop coming round then they really weren't true friends to being with.

[Joni Marie Cruz]

This is outrageous and maybe even borderline anti-social behavior, but sometimes I don't answer the door.<lol>

Sorry, don't mean to be flippant, it's just kind of my default setting. But seriously, you don't have to answer the door even if it's a friend or a neighbor. Call me old fashioned, but I was taught that you never just dropped in on someone unannounced but should at least make an effort to call them and be sure you weren't barging in at an inconvenient time. Common old-fashioned courtesy.

Personal time is precious, whether finding time to be your girlself or pursue something else you enjoy whatever that might be, while friends are important, so is being able to enjoy time for yourself. Just my two cents.

Hugs...Joni Marie

[goofus]

Maybe they're not the accepting type 'cause they think they couldn't possibly know a TG person. I see an opportunity to educate some folks...

[Kate Simmons]

It boils down to what is really more important to you my friend.:)

[Karren H]

It boils down to what is really more important to you my friend.:)

Or you could move and keep moving until you find neighbors that don't want to bother you and your friends have lost track of you!! Then you'll have all the free time you want... Untill you get lonely and start bothering the neighbors and looking for new friends? Lol.

[Cary]

I feel your pain. I posted the same type of thread a few weeks ago. Things won't get better unless you move, don't answer while dressed, or come out to your neighbors. I choose just to not open the door while dress. I just tell my neighbors and friends that I'm not decent and to cameback later. My femm time is important and that's that!

[Nicole Erin]

Well, there is a way to get them to quit bothering you -
Become a sponge. No you dip, not like spongebob, but start asking them for favors, make a habit of it.
Pretty soon, they will be avoiding you.

See, some people don't care much for us TG folks but no one likes a sponge.
Keep in mind once they get tired of your asking for favors, it will probably do lasting damage to your relationship.

Things you can ask for to be a pain and not really "owe" anything -
Car rides, cause you don't feel like driving. Small food items like ketchup, use the phone, help you clean house or move junk around, cigarettes...

Just don't go asking to borrow money cause people will expect that back.

[AllieSF]

Interesting responses. I grew up always knowing my neighbors, helping them and they helping my family when possible. I have continued that approach and do not plan to change it. My neighbors have never been too nosy nor bothersome. Neighbors can be friends and I see no reason to alienate them. It may be different when living in a big city or is an area or subdivision where no one talks to anyone else. I know that it is not easy to dress when the friends drop by and I see no reason not to just say that you are busy at the present time, not fully dressed and that you will talk with them later, tomorrow or when you have more time. They hopefully will learn to give you a little more space.

Good neighbors can be hard to find and should be treasured.

[Jilmac]

I once saw a poster that said " A true friend is a person who knows everything about you, and still likes you". Keep that in mind the next time a friend comes to your door when you're dressed, you might be pleasantly surprized. As far as your neighbors, it will give them something to talk about.:2c:

[vivianann]

It's your home and you can do what you like there, if your neighbours and friends don't like that then that's their problem not yours.... and if your friends then stop coming round then they really weren't true friends to being with.

Exactly!! I agree with Sandra's post.


When I started to stay dressed enfemme when my friends came over they were surprised, however after I explained it to them they were accepting of it, and so far I have not lost any friends over it. If you have quaulity friends they will stick with you. I usually weed out the bad socalled friends long before it gets to the point of seeing me dressed.

[sandra-leigh]

Lately I have neighbors or friends stopping by

Consider the alternative: that your neighbours stop over perhaps once in 3 years, and that the closest you have to a "friend" never bothered to ask for your phone number and didn't even notice that you'd been mostly away sick for year.

To some that might sound like a paradise of peace and quiet, but when it's pretty much the story of your life and you generally like people (not deliberately anti-social) then it's somewhat of a miserable life.


I'm trying to put my life back together after a major "all work and no play" sort of illness, and I'm going to therapy to try to learn how to break out of the pattern of being socially ignored. The great thing about cross-dressing has been that even when I gender-bend, people (and I specifically include non-crossdresser) actually talk to me and think I'm interesting and someone worth rushing across the room to say hello to... Maybe it sounds a bit self-centered or selfish or narcistic to say so, but I need a bit of that in my life... it's hard to be an island.

Friends dropping over... what's it been for me, two occasions in the last 10 years? And one of those two died about a year ago, and the other moved away about 2 months ago.

[docrobbysherry]

I'll tell u what works for me, but it may NOT work for u! People that know me well, know that I'm a selfcentered, opinionated jerk! Well, I AM a guy, after all!:brolleyes:
That I have a HEART OF GOLD, is lesser known to those not visiting this site!:battingeyelashes:

My point being, folks don't just DROP IN ON ME! They expect me to be busy, the door locked, and no one answers the bell! When I want to see them, I call THEM, and we arrange something!:devil:

Which, is GREAT for my times with Sherry, :D BUT can ALSO be quite lonely sometimes, too!:sad:
Once folks start excluding u, it may be difficult to become INCLUDED again, when u desire them to!

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

...Anyone else have these problems? People I know aren't the accepting type :sad:

I used to have a friend who stopped by unannounced all the time. He caught me dressed a few times (which I frantically undressed before answering the door).

I just told him flat out to let me know ahead of time if he was going to stop by. He didn't like that too much but it wasn't a friendship killer.

Aside from that, I've always gone out of my way to not make people feel welcome enough to just drop in. It's actually very easy in my life now as I'm very, very busy, very, very often and people know it, so they don't bother me without checking first. All I need to do is let them know I'm working on whatever and they'll leave me alone. I bet you can take a similar approach and shape it around your personal life in a way that will work. :)

Good luck.

[Jodi]

For me, I don't answer the door. I can think of many itmes in the last year that one of my neighbors rang my door bell, and, being dressed, I just ignored it. Some of them have gotten the hint to call first, others have not.

In the same vein, I check my caller ID each time the phone rings. If I don't recognize the number, I don't answer the phone. If it is really important, they will leave me a voice message.

It is called assertiveness. If one allows people to walk on them, then they will be a doormat.

Jodi

[gwen cd]

Lately I have neighbors or friends stopping by when I planned to spend a few hours getting dressed and having some quiet girl time. By the time they leave Im too tired from listening to there life stories to want to get girlie. :sad: I hate to be rude but I may have to not answer my door so I can get some girl time in. Some times I wish I had accepting neighbors and friends so I could enjoy my girl time and visits also. Anyone else have these problems? People I know aren't the accepting type :sad:

DITTO.
Same problem

[cindyscute]

Thank's to all who have posted so far to this thread. Looks like there are pluses and minuses to being bothered. Sometimes people can become such pests by dropping in all the time unannounced, thats that part that I hate, especially if I need my girl time. I feel obligated to see what they want but need to give myself some room also by ignoring them here and there I would think.

[linnea]

You know, I dont mean to be flippant but, if they are that much of a bother and are not accepting, then dress and answer the door when they ring. Might work out for the best for both of you. Real friends wont mind and you can do both then, be yourself and be sociable. Just a thought

I think that this just might work and result in some wonderful relationships, but it is a gutsy move if you're trying to stay out of the limelight.