As a cross dresser how do you think girls feel?

[emmicd]

As a cross dresser what do you think gg's really think of us wearing really femme outfits?

Do you think they feel any of the following

1-Unaffected, but will look out of curiosity
2-Put off by it
3-Somewhat amused and curious
4-Amazed and appreciative that a guy would want to wear a dress with bra and panties
5-Jealous that he dresses nicer than she does
6-Accepting and very supportive
7-Wow! Where did he get that dress! I must ask!
8-I must start dating or marry a CD!
9-We must go shopping together!
10-So he wears a dress! Who cares?

Just thought it would be fun to get in the mindset of a GG about cross dressing.

Would like to hear from CDs/TGs and GGs!

Thank you Emmi

[umbrellagirl GG]

I love your post! Thank you! I think #5 - 10 are all of my instinctive reactions! :D

[JenniferPaul]

There will be some gg's for each of #1 through #10. 1,2,3, and 10 are the more likely response.

Jennifer

[emmicd]

Thanks Umbrellagirl!

It's always refreshing to get a real girl's perspective on our femme dressing. I would wish that most girl's would actually find our dressing kind of interesting and that they could accept it.

I dress because it makes me feel good and never intend to do it to hurt or bother anyone. I would love to be fully dressed in front of real girls and be accepted. That would be a dream come true.

Hope to hear from more GGs and all of you girls no matter where you fall in the spectrum.

Thank you

Emmi

[Clare]

I suppose three is what i would expect as a reaction by most GG's.

Indifference is how i HOPE they react (for avoiding conflict), but it would be nice if some GG's supported men crossdressing if 'it was out there'.

Christine

[Stephanie Mancini]

Have experienced all of these girl reactions but most girls are ok with it i find, however its far more important how you feel about yourself, once you have acquired this inner self confidence about who and what you are then what other people think of you shouldn't really matter, we girls should relax and enjoy being ourselves first and foremost


Steph

[Tristen Cox]

11. Threatened and possibly thinking you're a bit freaky(may act out to embarrass you)

Just a possible choice to add, not my general opinion though. What a real woman says and does are two totally different things usually. Only they know for sure :)

[Tasha Norval]

#2 if we're wearing the same outfit.

Seriously, I have no idea. Maybe a mix of 4, 3, and 1?

[MysticStone]

It took me awhile to get used to cross dressers. When I was younger I just thought of them as guys in drag. Didn't realize, there is many different reasons why. Now I would say I am at #4.

"K"

[Rachel Ann]

Sadly, I think that there are more 2's than all the rest put together. The myths out there are still very very strong.

[pantylover1]

I think some gals would be put off by it, and still others would be supportive,and a small percentage could care less. Thats my 2 cents worth

Bernice P

[Wendy me]

frist off girlfreind you come up with some intresting threads....keep them comming.....

3-Somewhat amused and curious

i would have to say #3 because most people only think of like drag queens so i think thay would be at least curious......

[spaskinstyle]

One, Six, and Ten for me.

I'd either be Uneffected and Curious, Supportive, or Non-Challant.

Theresa

[ChristineRenee]

Good thread but probably best answered by the GG's themselves. You'll probably get a pretty diverse number of answers too...going from very understanding and supportive all the way to wanting nothing to do with it whatsoever. It's a good list but not being a GG, I can't tell you how they think and certainly would not want any response that I might give to be considered stereotypical of how they might think or would answer.

Will be interested to read the reponses from our GG's on the forum however.

Love,
Chrissie:)

[Katie Ashe]

The most common response I get are: Why do you want to wear that stuff, I hate it, you can have all mine. My answer is: it's what I like and you would feel different if you weren't exepect to wear it 24/7. Most of the time they agree.

As other go: most don't look or even care. As I have said many times before...
Teen girls are the bain of my troubles, I'm here for there amusment.

Mostly #1, 3, 10 are probly my guess.

Katie

[Sherlyn]

......... well the only gg i know personally and I am with day to day ...having met her here {:hugs: Kew}.. its very obvious #5 ..accepting ..YES !!!!.... very supportive ...off course YES !!! ...we are g/fs :) ..she is very natural around me.. I really notice no differences ... however, I am dressed ...very cool ...love her for it ...as for other GG's ...have only told my sisters and Mom about Sherlyn.... they we're like ummmmm ....almost a "WHATEVER" Mom was worried ...Kew calmed her I think ..lol ... so I guess it did not bother them in any way...but ..it remains to be seen ..the reactions if they actually see me :eek:

[Stacey23 GG]

When I first saw the question, I thought this thread was going to ask for responses as to if a CD felt he had a better understanding/appreciation of GG’s and how they think, feel, respond to/with society. Oh well. :o

So, to respond to your question, as a GG .... I think every situation is unique because not all CD's are the same in their habits, behaviors, and overall attitude whether in guy mode or girl mode. Thus, I can only speak of my personal situation with my CD.

For me, I have only seen "her" a handful of times in 3D. He/she is still uncomfortable with sharing all of the aspects of this part of his/her life. It is still all very new to me and I am very curious and want to learn and understand more about it. What is the thrill? What part of it makes him/her relax? What do you like best about it? What is your favorite color when in femme? Serious questions and fun questions. :rolleyes: I suppose one day that I will be more involved in this part of his/her life but for right now, we just occasionally talk about it. The more we talk, the more I could potentially understand and hence, the more supportive I could be. In the beginning, I didn't know anything about it but spent a considerable amount of time ... primarily on the internet ... educating myself. I think that is the situation with a lot of us accepting GG’s. We took the time in the beginning to learn, especially for those of us who have SO’s that may have been ashamed or embarrassed to discuss this part of their lives, and perhaps still are.

Anyway!!!! To really answer your question. When I have seen her all decked out, I am amazed how good she looks. I did her make-up once and she received a ton of compliments on how good it looked. J And she has those long slender legs that us GG’s would die for. To me, though… it’s still my guy just expressing himself and I love him deeply. I have learned to accept this part of him and we keep making baby steps in the right direction. I have even bought femme items for my SO – although, I do prefer that he wear my panties versus buying new ones. We have talked about going shopping to get her some clothes and hopefully one day soon, we will. I think I could be a huge help, some of her outfits just don’t do her justice.

[Sara Kat]

I know plenty of GGs who don't accept it and think it was weird and mucked up.

[Jill]

I have told 3 GG's, close friends in my life and their typical response was that they were baffled why on earth I want to wear such uncomfortable, horrible clothing.

[Sweet Susan]

Most women I know think it's just plain weird. I almost always find a way to ask ggs what they think about cds. I've only met a couple who have said anything at all about it being okay. Of those that think it's just plain weird, most of them also think it's disgusting. Don't forget that many women really appreciate and enjoy manly men, though they want him to be supportive and appreciative of her feminine delights. Scramble that up any way you like and call it #12.

[Marla GG]

As a cross dresser what do you think gg's really think of us wearing really femme outfits?


Hi Emmi,

When I read your question I wondered whether you were talking about random women who might see you crossdressed in a public place, or someone close to you like a spouse, mother, or sister. I think there is an enormous difference there. Since the question of how SO's and family members feel comes up quite frequently here and there are plenty of existing threads about it, I'll take a shot at discussing how strangers might be likely to perceive you.

For myself, if I cast my mind back a few years ago to a time when I knew nothing about crossdressing, I think my response would have been #3, somewhat amused and curious. I've always been an open-minded, live and let live kind of person, and I've had many friends who were "different" or "alternative" in some way. Plus I was already interested in gender issues and attracted to men who didn't fit the macho sterotype. So I definitely would have had a tolerant attitude. However, I wouldn't have known exactly what to think about you. I wouldn't have understood why you were dressed that way, I may have assumed you were gay, or I may have thought you had psychological problems. That way of thinking sounds so bizarre to me now, but back then I simply had no context for understanding crossdressing. I think many GGs are in the same boat. It's not that they are prejudiced against CDs; it's simply that they don't even know what a CD really is!

How you act and conduct yourself while out en femme is also a big factor in how you are perceived by GGs (or anyone, for that matter). Unfortunately, for many GGs our initial reaction to encountering a strange man is to be suspicious and size him up to determine whether he is a threat. I'm not implying that we spend a lot of time thinking about this--it happens on a subconscious level, and is over in a split second unless something sets off an alarm bell. Now, you may think that a guy all dolled up in feminine clothes would be the least threatening guy imaginable, but to someone who doesn't understand what you are doing, you may seem "weird," and weird can be scary. The best thing you can do to put women at ease is act relaxed, smile, go about your business like you have every right to be there. If you are obviously nervous and tense, you may make others wary of you.

I find it's very easy for me to forget how little the general public knows about our lifestyle. I am sure there are many things about us that seem completely normal to me now, which may be seen in a different light by people outside the community. In a way that's good because it makes me bolder, but I guess it could lead to some awkward situations if I were to entirely lose my perspective on how outsiders view CDs and their partners.

[Tristen Cox]

I'm with Kristen.


Grrrrrrrrrr :eek: :p

[Deidra Cowen]

Most str8 GGs when they clock me seem to have a confused surprised look on their face. Not generally approving by any means. But a very few have seemed to like me judging by their expression and body language.

Lesbian GGs seem to like us. At the gay clubs in atlanta I frequently catch the lesbian chicks looking at me and smiling in a nice way. Often they even look me in the eye as if they are non-verbally saying they approve. The odds especially go up on that if I don't have on my mini skirts and am dressed down in jeans like they dress. (I really think I'm going to change my wardrobe and ditch the short skirts and sexy outfits. GGs out on the town in the summer all have jeans and those sleeveless strap tops on)

The last and most rare category of GGs. Tgirl admirers! I know of two of them in Atlanta. They of course love us to death and want to date us.

[Julie]

I'd guess these would rank #9 & #10 for least likely response:
4-Amazed and appreciative that a guy would want to wear a dress with bra and panties
8-I must start dating or marry a CD!
However, if anyone finds that girl who feels this way, tell her I'm available! :D

My experience has been 'curious' as the most likely response when I'm out in the general public.

[Julie]

Marla, your posts are always inciteful, intelligent and well thought out. :thumbsup:

Your point about understanding CDing is well taken. I can't tell you how many times I 'educated' someone on what it is to me and they were so surprised. The first reaction almost always seems to be "Are you gay?" then "Are you trying to pick up men?"

A lesbian friend of mine was shocked to learn I was straight. I had known her for a couple of months when the subject came up. What's funny is up to that point she and I would just talk when we ran into each other. We became good friends after I told her I was straight.

My ex had said she thought I was replacing her or that she was jealous of how I looked better than her (not!!). Other women I know were wierded out by it, some were curious but in no way would ever marry a CDer.

But I have never met a woman who was turned on by my dressing.

[DragonLotus]

Awesome thread. I'll take the SO angle for my input:

I'll say Supportive and would like to date one (whatever numbers those were).

I am very interested in the grey areas of humanity in general (being a philosophical Taoist helps). This includes, but is not limited to, CDing. Because I have somewhat of a masculine mentality (and have expressed my bi nature on-and-off over the years) I am very attracted to the feminine form. I often find myself extremely aroused by CDers that have a "look" which appeals to me. Salivating, in fact.

While I would be very supportive and possibly erotically affected in a CD/GG scenario, I do have some potential misgivings:

While I am no diva by any means, I do know how to look great and would not like to be in a situation where my CD SO was competing with me. I have had that happen enough in relationships with "guy's guys"! Since I'm not overtly feminine, I would be enthralled if my guy looked like a serious hot mama, as long as I could don my favorite look (usually something androgynous) and show her off. But I wouldn't want her being jealous of my femininity, much the same way I would not want a guy's guy to be jealous of my competence in skills traditionally reserved for men. A good relationship has unconditional acceptance of EVERYTHING we are, and should not be dependent on ego boundaries.

Also, I am probably just as vain and superficial as a straight dandy guy who ogles and covets gorgeous women. But at the same time I would be hard pressed to deal with someone who spends all their discretionary income on clothes and every spare minute of their time in the mirror. That is not a judgement of CDers or anyone here, just something I was thinking about. In other words, really hot GG's are notorious for being high maintenance. I would like a grrl that can be really hot without that whole self-absorbed thing. But it's true that when it comes to sharpening your look (or anything else for that matter) practice makes perfect. I suppose I would like to see a happy medium between perfecting the appearance and spending time/resources on other stuff too. I am single, so I would not know if that's an issue or not.

And finally, for me, I need balance. I would be one of those GG's who needs to be with the masculine side of my SO for some of the time without him resenting that need or disliking being male. I may be a tomboy but I believe I would really miss that in a relationship if my CD SO did not accept his male side and allow me some time to enjoy the yin and yang of men & women being together. Not that I need to do it that often! hahaha

But supportive and desirous, yes. It just depends on the individual.

My 1.9999999 cents. :D

[Amelie]

Darn,,,DragonLotus,,,I guess this rules me out. I always sit in front of the mirror with my big ego.

Oh Well, maybe there is someone out there for me.

Wait a minute, ,,,my boyfriend is calling me, I'll be right back.

Amelie

[DragonLotus]

Amelie, you're headed the right way for a smack bottom and I don't care who knows it!

hehehe

[Amelie]

Amelie, you're headed the right way for a smack bottom and I don't care who knows it!

hehehe


OOOhh that sounds soooooo kinky..

[Di]

Great Thread for me the answer is 6, 7 8 and 9

[Tamara Croft]

I can relate to most of these...... so I'll answer them all :D

2-Put off by it For 5 years of my relationship with Tam, yes it was somewhat off putting for me. This is because I didn't really understand what a CD was :( Tam never sat me down and explained to me 'why'. So for those years I just put up with it.

5-Jealous that he dresses nicer than she does I can totally relate to that.... Tam has better taste in clothes than I do and recently, she has been shopping with me and chose my clothes/shoes. Now shes the 'jealous' one :p

6-Accepting and very supportive Absolutely.... now I understand the 'why'. Being a member here has helped me more than any other forum. I have learnt so much from all the girlz here.

7-Wow! Where did he get that dress! I must ask! OMG.... I asked once where she got this lbd from...... and I just had to have it (it's mine now) so she gave it to me.

8-I must start dating or marry a CD! Already engaged to a CD :D

9-We must go shopping together! That's a lot of fun... especially holding up girly things and saying 'this will look great on you' so everyone in the shop can hear lol.

10-So he wears a dress! Who cares? I don't.... I think it's great.

[emmicd]

It ranges, some accept, some don't and in between there are some who enjoy seeing us dressed.

Emmi

[Sharon]

In my opinion, and experience, I believe most women are turned off by the thought of crossdressers. It is only through exposure to someone they care about who does this that most of them begin to accept and, at least somewhat, understand it.

[emmicd]

It's great to see that there are very understanding wives of crossdressers out there! I respect that and feel that it is very important to understand and try to learn why one feels the need to dress. Being a closeted crossdresser can really hurt your development as a person because you're forced to repress a part of you and disassociate it from yourself. Also you tend to live in secret and it's not fair to your wife that it is kept from her.

I guess my reason from trying to keep this from my wife and hoping she wouldn't find out is in that I didn't want to burden her with this part of my life. It's like a double edged sword.

I can also understand a wife's reluctance to accept it! It is not an easy thing to have to confront especially if you had no clue about it and suddenly it was thrusted upon you.

A forum like this is a great resource because it is both supportive for the CD and his wife. It also allows you to make friends in the process!

For all the gg's who have come to this website to learn more about crossdressing and to help educate yourself I hope you can find the peace you need and the friends who will help you get through it and that you can help support your husband!

My best wishes to all of you!

Thank you!

Emmi

[Natasha Anne]

With their hands...

Seriously though. I find them a lot more accepting, but that does not mean they don't find these things challenging. I can see my female friends and wife struggle with the issue internally and ask loads of questions, but they are accepting at the same time.

[Stormgirl]

I could careless what they think.If they don't like it then its their problem so deal with it. :thumbsup:

[LouiseCassell]

Everyone one of us is so different from each other that not only would all ten options be chosen many times over there would also be a need to add at least another dozen options.

My sister recently surprised me by saying she could never really understand me (or anyone else) wanting to dress up now and then BUT now I have opened up and told her that I wish to go the M2F way she totally understands and not only that - she is being very very supportive!

[Adele]

great thread!!!

Maybe you should ask wives or SO's who were only told about their partners dressing well into their relationship and see the difference in acceptance then.....

I think the fact I hadn't been honest from the start made it far more difficult for my wife to be accepting.

Adele xxxxx.

[Deborah]

My ex-wife was disgusted. One of the reasons she left me for a "real" man.
As she said "i'm not a lesbian"
Well neither am I :P

[LouiseCassell]

Two sides to telling your partners.

I told mine before we moved in together and before we got engaged - I said - look this is somethng I do and I know from experience that I would not stop for any reason - I told her this and said I would understand if she left me - she didn't - we moved in together, got married and had kids and then when divorce papers were served on me she went public about me being a CD.

[DragonLotus]

Damn, I'm sorry to hear that. Sounds like she wasn't nearly as able to be honest about her "dealbreakers" as you were able to be about CDing.

Or maybe she thought she could handle it in the beginning? I guess it's possible she WAS handling it and just used it later to justify the split. Gotta love opportunism.

:mad:

[Tristen Cox]

I'm sorry that's the one thing I don't get.

You tell your partner, ok. They say they are cool with it, ok. They decide later they aren't happy with it and chose to end things, ok there too. But WTF is this going and trying to destroy someone whom they claimed they loved just because they decided all of the sudden they can't live with the person? What does it do for them to hurt someone, or try to hurt someone like that? No offense to anyone or their SOs. I find that kind of thing useless and uncalled for. Even vengeful if you like. And I am truly sorry for anyone who has had to go through that kind of thing, especially those with a family :(

[Deborah]

I'm sorry that's the one thing I don't get.

You tell your partner, ok. They say they are cool with it, ok. They decide later they aren't happy with it and chose to end things, ok there too. But WTF is this going and trying to destroy someone whom they claimed they loved just because they decided all of the sudden they can't live with the person? What does it do for them to hurt someone, or try to hurt someone like that? No offense to anyone or their SOs. I find that kind of thing useless and uncalled for. Even vengeful if you like. And I am truly sorry for anyone who has had to go through that kind of thing, especially those with a family :(

My wife actually figured it out. I never told her. She said she didn't mind because she didn't like those macho type guys.
Could have fooled me. She cheated on me once. I was dumb enough to take her back. The second time she up and left and moved in with him and didn't even know him that well.

Now she's single and homeless and wishes i would take her back....Umm NO!!