Guy or Girl

[Marsha K]

I’m backing out of here for a while because:

1) Its planting season
2) My daughter is home from college for the summer so I will be CDing much less.
3) I have to do some thinking about being here at this site.

I have noticed something that bugs me. When someone posts a thread here and people respond, something unique happens. When the poster asks a question, they get a lot of helpful suggestions. If the poster tells of an experience, they get a lot of support. BUT if a poster asks a question AND tells of an experience in the same thread, their question is usually overlooked and are given loads of advice on what they did or didn’t do right with their experience. Like trying to solve the posters problems with little regard to the question they asked.

I’ve been told repeatedly that there is a difference between a guy and a girl when they talk. A guy’s goal is to solve a problem and move on. A girl likes to talk and have someone just to listen to them, nothing else. I see the guy and girl side of people in conflict in several thread replies here. I have done it too.

Just something I’ve noticed. Feel free to comment. I have some thinking to do. :straightface:

Marsha K

[TxKimberly]

I would respond, but I haven't figured out how to resolve the situation yet . .
:D

[Sarah_GG]

I have noticed that I sometimes do that. Unintentionally.

I read something that grabs my attention without fully reading the entire post. Thus, I don't always answer the question/offer support/share an anecdote, just go steaming in to offer my two penneth and probably taking the post off on another tangent.

As I said, it's never intentional... but it can sometimes be interesting to see where a post ends up!

Have a great summer. :)

[Karren H]

My football coach always said I wasn't smart enough to walk and chew gum at the same time.. Guess he was right.. What was the question again?

[Carly D.]

I have noticed that I sometimes do that. Unintentionally.

I read something that grabs my attention without fully reading the entire post. Thus, I don't always answer the question/offer support/share an anecdote, just go steaming in to offer my two penneth and probably taking the post off on another tangent.

As I said, it's never intentional... but it can sometimes be interesting to see where a post ends up!

Have a great summer. :)


I do the same thing.. I'll read or skim through the original post and sometimes I'll get the gist of what they are saying.. then I'll read other responses to the original post and see if anyone post something I can identify with.. then build on that idea.. like this one here.. anyway for the original poster here don't leave the forum cold turkey.. just look in every now and then when you have a minute or two...

[DanaR]

If everyone just listened, the threads would be rather short. I usually respond when I think that my response might help or give a different viewpoint; otherwise I might be able to find something else to do with my time.

[Lorileah]

I have been accused of talking too much so I will take that as a compliment from now on as it puts me in the female category where we talk a lot and really don't go straight to the problem as you state in you first post. I tend to try and explain things way over what is probably required to get the information across and I wish to make sure that whoever I am talking to can see what I am trying to get at, does that make sense? So anyway, planting season huh?

[Tracy_Victoria]

I’ve been told repeatedly that there is a difference between a guy and a girl when they talk. A guy’s goal is to solve a problem and move on. A girl likes to talk and have someone just to listen to them, nothing else.

Marsha K

Technically, There are a few more differences than that! :heehee:

However if we are going to be totally correct, then is it not the case, that a man can not be a woman, nor a woman a man? ie a man can never bear a child, and a woman can never sir one. well not as far as SRS goes to date.

Crossdressing, is about being happy with your inner self, be it you want to dress once a month, once a week, or all your life. this site is here to help those with the desire to do that better, ie to be more of a woman, or be more of a Man!

The point of this site is to share, be better and pass on knowledge and be helpful. to help and share questions, problems and solutions, to make the inner person we feel we truely are, reflect outwards in to the world, for other to see the good inside and that person within. Sadly CD/TV/TS/TG are still not widely accepted as being out there, yet in a room full of a 100 guys it said as many as 10 to 20 could be TG, thats a big ratio, to still be amost still hidden.

Strange I had a thought today, I work in a office with probably over 100 people working in, I wondered if I asked are you TG or not, and they just put Yes, or no secretly in a hat, how many yes's would be in there. Probably far more than Tennis, or ping pong players (we have 2 in the office) yet, they don't do there hobby in secret!

Thats why we are here, because, our time is yet to come, like the Vote for woman it will come, but only when the time is right. until then we need sites like this, to help each other, and that why we come.

it not a question, of being, A Male, or being A Female! it a question of being You, the person you feel you are inside.

hope you get my point.

[Christina Horton]

I think it works this way . WE have both fem & male side's. Our fem side is in most case's not trained to listen and just be there for whom ever is talking .SO we are caught in the middle we want to listen but we have a built in need to fix it . SO when a sister post's two thing that hits us where we live we sort of forget the "new" training and try to fix the prob. Here's a tip. If you want to tell a story than JUST tell a story. If you want advice then write another thread and you can get all the ad you need . Just thought I could fix the prob. After all why should I pretend I have no male side when in fact I do. Just my :2c: worth.

[cindym5_04]

**staring blankly at sports on the tv** ...whatever you'd like, dear...

[Becca]

In my years teaching, and in my counseling practice, I've noticed something that may be relevant to this thread. If presented with a series of questions, or a series of statements, people in general tend to respond to the last item. Doesn't seem to be a male or female thing.

[cindym5_04]

Most of the time, honestly, I end up reading the original post and then posting a response before I read other people's responses. For me, that also focuses more on my original thought/instinct than letting others end up forming/swaying my opinion.

[mklinden2010]

>>>In my years teaching, and in my counseling practice, I've noticed something that may be relevant to this thread. If presented with a series of questions, or a series of statements, people in general tend to respond to the last item. Doesn't seem to be a male or female thing.


It's a FACT of life that most people do not read, do not listen, do not think.

Not really.

Some of these posts (above) even demonstrate HOW people manage to do that on purpose.

As a general rule, the more parts there are to something you say or write, the more likely people will focus on only one thing.

Keep it simple, stupid.

("Call me stupid... But, call me!")

[Angie G]

I don't know what to say . See you in the fall hun.:hugs:]
Angie

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

I’ve been told repeatedly that there is a difference between a guy and a girl when they talk. A guy’s goal is to solve a problem and move on. A girl likes to talk and have someone just to listen to them, nothing else.

I've been told repeatedly that a guy dresses like a man and a girl dresses like a woman.

I've been told repeatedly that I'll never amount to anything in my life.

I've been told a lot of things over the years. Good thing I know when to listen and when not to. ;)

If you're backing out of here for a while - good for you. You've recognized something that is not healthy for you, or perhaps just does you no good. It's not for everyone, and there's nothing wrong with that.

I won't waste my time trying to convince you to let your daughter in on the realities of who you are, although to do so may open you up to more freedom in your life. I'm guessing that there is still confusion about this aspect of your life within you... at least to some degree. Maybe you still feel that cding is wrong, improper, or something to be ashamed of if you cannot share with your adult daughter. :(

Regardless, it's planting season, your daughter will be home from college, and you have some thoughts to work through. I hope you make the most of your time and sort out what you need to. :)

[gretchen2]

It is what it is.

[StephanieC]

I have noticed that I sometimes do that. Unintentionally.

I read something that grabs my attention without fully reading the entire post. Thus, I don't always answer the question/offer support/share an anecdote, just go steaming in to offer my two penneth and probably taking the post off on another tangent.

I would agree. Even at work, I frequently respond to an email, only to discover later that there was more to the missive that I missed...so I send an additional message. I think too, that we have a limit on what we can absorb at a time. For example, there is a reason telephone numbers are 10 digits or why numbers are formatted with hyphens. Sometimes we can only retain so much at a time.

[2B Natasha]

Hi Marsha

I have gone back and read your post several times. It seems to me you are answering your own dilemma in your own question.

BUT if a poster asks a question AND tells of an experience in the same thread, their question is usually overlooked and are given loads of advice on what they did or didn’t do right with their experience. Like trying to solve the posters problems with little regard to the question they asked.

How else is one supposed to answer a question about things and thoughts that are abstract in the way that there is no book answer except with their personal experiences? Does that not answer a question and give advice at the same time? Most of us post in this fashion

" I did this and it worked or I did this and here is why it didn't work......." IE Learn from my experiences. Their experience is the answer. Or we can say draw your own conclusions. We have left it up to you to decide what is the way forward for you.

Here is my question to you. Since we do not live your life or have your experiences, thoughts and feelings. How are we supposed to answer the questions except with our on experiences?

Lastly. You can leave this site. Maybe you'll return maybe you will not. But you will not change. You will still have the same questions, but if you leave there will be no one to ask them too.

[Marjory]

I would respond, but I haven't figured out how to resolve the situation yet . .
:D

We could talk about it.

[docrobbysherry]

What r u saying? That all the pretty girls here THINK LIKE MEN?:doh:

OMG! WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!:eek:

[Joy Carter]

What r u saying? That all the pretty girls here THINK LIKE MEN?:doh:

OMG! WHAT IS THIS PLACE?!:eek:

"There's a sign post up a head. You've crossed into The Twilight Zone." :D

[Sally2005]

The way I figure it, you've got no right to ask more than one question or mix up your threads and expect an answer to everything...so I get to pick one thing to answer. Like if someone wrote me a book, I would have to write a book in response...instead I might just talk about the ending. Uh, what was the question again?

[linnea]

Well, this post produced a lot of chatter; that was fun and interesting. I don't know that there was a problem to solve, but I enjoyed seeing some of my favorite posters chime in. Thanks for sharing and see you in the fall--if you come back (which I hope that you do).

[Lisa Golightly]

BUT if a poster asks a question AND tells of an experience in the same thread, their question is usually overlooked and are given loads of advice on what they did or didn’t do right with their experience. Like trying to solve the posters problems with little regard to the question they asked.

It's a bit like rubbing your head and tummy at the same time :)

I'm often accused of being... erm... too much to the point... But I'm an engineer by nature... Saying that my artistic nature is equally precise :)

Enjoy your sabbatical, it's good to get quality family time in beyond the gender angst we all live through...

Lisa x

[Celeste]

I have answered post and responded only to the part of it that I could help on,it doesn't mean I've lost sight of the other parts of, or the original question in the post.

[Stephanie Stephens]

Watch out for that farmers tan.

[Georgia Rose]

[QUOTE=Marsha K;1728593]I’m backing out of here for a while because:


I’ve been told repeatedly that there is a difference between a guy and a girl when they talk. A guy’s goal is to solve a problem and move on. A girl likes to talk and have someone just to listen to them, nothing else. I see the guy and girl side of people in conflict in several thread replies here. I have done it too.

Well Marsha I hope you do come back. We are like any group of people who read or listen to something. We all read or hear things differently and all put importance on different aspects of what we read or hear. I suspect there is a fair bit of the guy stuff coming out here where we are trying to solve the problem rather than listen to the story.

My wife says when I'm in "Georgia mode" (her term for me CDing) I'm a listener but all other times I'm a solver. We may just need to work harder to be listeners.

[Marsha K]

I would like to thank everyone for their comments. I cherish them ALL. I cherish all of you!! :hugs:

In the last two and a half years, my mother, father, and favorite brother passed away. I helped the family go through their stuff that they had left behind. After months of doing this I decided I don’t want MY family to see what I have in the garage that they didn’t know about. I am cleaning out the garage and trying to be as open and honest as possible to my family about me. Hence the starting of me realizing my fascination with the wearing of women’s clothes by what I am finding in there. I am new to the concept of me being a cross-dresser. I have a lot of thinking to do. I am still a mixed up (mind wise) person.

I do plan on visiting here as often as I can. I need all the help I can get from caring people like you. :hugs:

And as for Planting Season?? I’m a Landscaper (Occupation), Farmer (Hobby), and Flower Gardener (in my spare time).

Hope to see you soon and often,
Marsha K

EDIT: P.S. Now where shall I plant those pink petunias??

[sometimes_miss]

Hmm. Guy vs girl personality conflicts going on in the same person. Really, it this the first time you've noticed that in us? Or maybe my wearing this dress might have been a clue? Hey, we've all got these two sides going on, and we deal with it the best we can. Still, there are going to be times when one side or the other takes over without really thinking about it. It's all good, most of us can take criticism when it comes, because we know where it's coming from.