My co-worker: "You are a woman trapped in a man's body."

[Violetgray]

at 5:00 pm today (it was really hot) I said to my co-worker, who was wearing a light knee-length dress, "You're lucky you can come to work wearing a dress, it's going to be hot for a while." She usually smiles and jokes alot, but her face was plain, almost casual when she said,

"You're a woman trapped in a man's body, aren't you?"

Now Margaret and I joke around all the time, so I immediately made light of it. I said,

"Yeah, just dying to come out, just like in the movie 'Aliens' " And mimed the chest bursting.

She said,

"No, I mean, it's your flesh that makes you attracted to women, but you're really a girl."

I didn't really know what to say to that. But it was time to go anyway so we said our goodbyes.

I wonder if tomorrow is going to be just a interesting?

[Miranda09]

Hmmmm, interesting conversation Violet. Be sure you let us know what transpires. :)

[Rachel Morley]

Holy cow, what an interesting thing to say. I wish someone would say that to me. You bet it's going to be interesting tomorrow, that's assuming she contines on where she left off. :)

[Joy Carter]

Wow, outted and your Ok with that. :D One of our office girls say's I an "old softy." Little does she know.

[Kittykitty]

Wow! Twisted, please let us know!!! Would you feel better if she talked more about it?

A girl at my work called me out last week for a fem movement I made. very similar situation. All i could do > smile, snap my fingers twice in the air, and walked off swishin' my hips :)
Couldn't look back!

It almost seems like women have a sense about them to figure these things out. Fingers crossed for you xx

[Christina Horton]

next time you see tell her she was right if people ate near. Then say will'll talk later. If o
No one is near talk to her you will then have a girl friend at work that you can talk to and shop with. How cool would that be.

[linnea]

Very interesting comments. I hope that the conversation continues and that you can tell us what happens--good things, I hope!

[kynw08]

I think I would be guarded until I wassure she might have pegged you....... she MIGHT just be messing with you...

[Lisa Golightly]

Some people are just plain perceptive and they can read you so clearly. In my experience you grab them and hold on to them for dear life. They are the special ones... :)

[jennCD]

That's very cool, Violet! Let us know how the conversation progresses.

:)
jenn

[Joann0830]

Some people are just plain perceptive and they can read you so clearly. In my experience you grab them and hold on to them for dear life. They are the special ones... :)

A wise woman she is Lisa G. and I I agree with Lisa. I once was read clearly ny a woman I was dating and she often said that I had feminine qualities. We dated for a long time and she even told me that she didnt care if I dressed as a woman full time. It would have been nice but she had issues with my two daughters. But I always believe that woman do have that ability to see things in us that they recognize as the qualities they possess. Joann0830:battingeyelashes::love::heehee:

Violet, Please my friend let us know what happens and you are still Lovely.:love:

[Princess29]

wow, good luck with that

[Hope]

Sounds to me like she opened the door and invited you to have a good conversation, or at least to coyly confirm her suspicions. I would be surprised if she brings it up again any time soon.

[rachel1985]

I have to admit, you do have very radient skin and subtle tones, so yeah!

With a close shave, do you get taken at first glance for a female?
I wouldn't be surprised of it tbh.

[noeleena]

Hi .....Some of us are born with those traits so yes it comes out in many different ways ..dont ever be fooled its there & as women we are perceptive .
...noeleena...

[Sonia Greene]

Your co-worker's perception is a lovely way of expressing herself.......the truth is only unseen.

Sonia

[Fab Karen]

Sounds like she's been noticing things about you awhile, and now she's reaching out to you. Find some time where you two can talk, seems like a good sincere friend.

[RachelDenise]

She may be trying to figure you out. Not many men would make comments about dresses and the weather. The real issue is whether she is friend or foe. I agree that the next day will be interesting.

[PheonaP]

A very interesting conversation with your co-worker Violet.
Reminds one of the cliche - "Hidden in plain view".

[deja true]

"Remember you're comment yeaterday, Margaret? About me being a woman trapped in a man's body? Can we talk about this a little more? Maybe a drink after work?"

The phrase she used is so common now on talk shows like Oprah and Tyra (both very supportive of us) that she's obviously been exposed to it in a positive way. If you like her and trust her and get along with her, then follow up on her initiative. We can't have too many supportive friends, especially at work these days.

Lucky girl you!

[Sarah Doepner]

And I throw my hat in the ring for continuing the conversation. Continuing the conversation, one on one, will give you the chance to deal with it in an honest and respecful way, maybe getting the same in return. That will allow you some control and not let it become part of office gossip. When it gets there, you will be unable to fight misperception or outright lies that may build as the stories are told and embellished the way gossip can do.

[TGMarla]

Dang. When they're right, they're right, eh?

[CD Susan]

That is awesome Violet! I hope you continue talking with this woman and can tell us all about how your conversations with her goes.

[lisa_e_love]

I just have to say that you are super clever for using that Aliens reference on the spot like that. Do you do improv or something? I would be frozen in my tracks if someone pegged me like that. You just took it in stride. So cool.

[MELISSA2U]

hi all-
i d like to share a couple experiences i have had.

1. every now and then , when i have had conversations with women,not that i need to hear this,but a few women now and then figure out i am in transition.what is funny....is they will ask me , i will not lie to them, after a period of them getting to know me,these same women will say: you are a woman....
big surprise...lol...i get these declarations, which i dont really mind it , but find it interesting they say this.

2. every ts probably has had to face this sooner or later: seeing someone you went to school with.what is so interesting this happened to me sooner...rather than later.what is funny is how this happened,and what happened.
i remember this so well.....i was looking for some aluminum
foil, and it was funny , as they didnt have any.what happened then i noticed a guy .....in the isle....i looked up , and stared at him, he looks up , i said: boy you sure look familar....he goes yea,you do to.then he asked me if i was my sister.i replied...no.then he continued to ask me further questions , in which , thinking i was a different female in the family.i listened closely , i then decided to ask: is that you mike?he goes yea it is.what was funny is running into him in this small town.anyhow, i asked him to step outside.....i then decided to tell him, yes mike you do know me.....he was a bit puzzled until i told him. i must admit i was very nervous.this is the only guy i was really friends with,he was a sweet guy.so i then explained to him what was happening with me.
it was interesting......after a few minutes of talking with him, i heard a shrill of a woman's voice.....mike , what the f*** are you doing talking to her?this was when i realized for certain that women seen me as a threat.i didnt ever want to be in one of those triangles.....and well , i didnt know what to say for a minute or two.after we both cleared up how we knew each other, i was invited to dinner, i politely accepted.
the next evening i showed up, while dinner was being prepared,mike and i started to talk about the old teachers we knew,and pretty much everything else....his wife had to felt left out of the conversation.
out of the blue ,and this is mike saying this on his own...i found and thought this was interesting,and while i dont need validation of whom i am,or what gender i am , here is what happened:
mike said: " you do know why they guys always picked on you?i wanted to see what his reply would be ,so i just listened.mike said he thought i might be gay...but he said that didnt make sense to him for many reasons, as he just didnt think i was gay.then mike revealed the reason the guys picked on me.....they seen me as a girl.i thought this was mighty interesting.kids even when young are very preceptive,
and see things that adults dont,as the kids become adults,somehow they lose some of their preceptiveness.
i didnt need to be told by others i am a woman...but some of the experiences like these two i think are interesting,and pretain to the conversation.
have pleasant evening.
melissa

[Teri Jean]

When I outed myself to a female co-worker she said so what and thus the conversations started and my late wife's sisters have accepted me as their sister. so keep the lines of communication open. She may be your closest ali. Huggs Keli

[Gabrielle Hermosa]

..."No, I mean, it's your flesh that makes you attracted to women, but you're really a girl."

I didn't really know what to say to that. But it was time to go anyway so we said our goodbyes.

I wonder if tomorrow is going to be just a interesting?

Loved your "Alien" response. lol

That was a couple days ago. So how was tomorrow? Did anything interesting transpire? Did this conversation continue or get touched on again in some way?

Your coworker sounds pretty cool. :)

[Nicki B]

Given the level of femininity you always demonstrate here, I don't think she had to be that perceptive.. ;)

[MelissaPaige]

I've kind of had similar experiences with a few of my girlfriends. They didn't come out and say that so point blank. But they sensed things about me and poked and prodded until finally I unveiled myself and was like, "Okay, okay! Voila!!" Those are some of my best girlfriends now! I'd see about building a stronger friendship with her, if I were you!

[Violetgray]

Sorry it took me so long to post,

But we talked about it, and needless to say that she know I dress now! She thinks its very interesting though this sort of thing she's never been exposed to before. She had a million questions, and couldn't quite grasp the idea that and TS could transition to being a gay man or gay woman. She said, "Those people are confused!" to which I replied. "No, actually they're not. They're pretty sure of what they want, they just confuse you." All in all it was a great conversation, even though she's a bit chatty, so she's let it out among one or two others!

On a completely unrelated note, we just got a volunteer who met one of our creepier workers here at the library, who was being very creepy toward her. She asked me, "Why does he act like that towards me?" I said "Because you're a female, and I have never been!"

I'm not sure how much she was joking when she smiled and said "Well, not at work anyway!"

[Anna the Dub]

Think you've been rumbled Violet. You must be giving off unconscious signals that say you are not like men. Good for you!

[Jilmac]

Perhaps you have been giving her signals that you are unaware of. She must have read something in those signals which caused her to ask such a question. Your co worker could become your greatest ally, it seems as if you somehow piqued her interest in your lifestyle. Keep us informed as to the outcome.

[Kittykitty]

Congrats on affirming a True friendship!

Love your answer of "they just confuse YOU!" Have to remember that one :)

[serina lopez]

hott, that is all i can say

[victoriamwilliams1]

Very intresting.

[Mary Jane1]

I also would really like to know what happens next -- dum dum da ....dummmm.

You're kind of in a good position where she brought it up, you handled it well and you have time to think about tomorrow.

And you have options,
- flatly deny it
- laugh it off again as ridiculous
- downplay it as in 'ya know, sometimes it almost feels like that'
- jokingly say 'Well you know, why don't just us girls get together for a drink and talk about it' & see her reaction.
- Or just flatly say, 'Yes, I am'.

Or a million other things. I'm sure you'll handle it well ... if she even brings it up again.

[Maxi]

Keep us informed on how it progresses, and good luck.

When I have been asked questions like that by coworkers, I usually come back with a smart answer like, "Oh, you should see me in a little teddy & pink thong, talk about hot." The reply then is usually, "Oh please, I can't even bear to think about that." And usually that end it. They don't take me seriously, as I can talk some smack. I could probaby be totally honest about it, and they would blow it off as nonsense.

[kristinacd55]

But we talked about it, and needless to say that she know I dress now! She thinks its very interesting though this sort of thing she's never been exposed to before. She had a million questions, and couldn't quite grasp the idea that and TS could transition to being a gay man or gay woman. She said, "Those people are confused!" to which I replied. "No, actually they're not. They're pretty sure of what they want, they just confuse you." All in all it was a great conversation, even though she's a bit chatty, so she's let it out among one or two others!

On a completely unrelated note, we just got a volunteer who met one of our creepier workers here at the library, who was being very creepy toward her. She asked me, "Why does he act like that towards me?" I said "Because you're a female, and I have never been!"

I'm not sure how much she was joking when she smiled and said "Well, not at work anyway!"[/QUOTE]
Violet, you really must just throw off a woman's vibe for sure! That's great. :heehee:

[Sarah C.]

On a realted note, I was at a party several years ago and got to talking to a nice lady there. We had only been talking maybe half an hour, when she said, "You'd make an attractive woman", right out of the blue. I was so shocked that I was speechless. I ended up laughing it off, but it really caught me off-guard. I certainly would not consider myself capable of passing (6'2", 220 lbs), but I do have a youthful face. Anyways, I never saw her again after that party, but I'll never forget that comment!

[Laci6]

go with it Violet, but BE CAREFUL!!!!! Take it SLOW, ya never know...:)