Have to control my urges

[Kathy4ever]

Last month my wife was laid off. I get no alone time anymore. Two young children and she is home all the time. I wish we could share my feelings but she is very set against the cross dressing, She caught me last year in an outfit but not maid up like I have done many many times. I read a text message she wrote t o a friend and said thank god he did not have make up on. She was very out right and said it had to stop. It did for a little while, but now that I ahve no outlet the feelings are getting stronger. I love her and cannot afford a divorce, so I guess I will have to suffer in silence to things get back to normal once she gets a job. Anyone else have this problem and how to you get by.

[Debbie801]

Do you have a job that might require you to "travel"? Or any other excuses to get out of town? Take your stuff and drive to another town to a motel for a night or two if you can. I've been down this path before.

Good luck....

Debbie

[Karren H]

Do you have a job that might require you to "travel"? Or any other excuses to get out of town? Take your stuff and drive to another town to a motel for a night or two if you can. I've been down this path before.

Good luck....

Debbie

That's my typical outlet except I haven't gone anywhere since January!! Sigh... I need to invent a few phantom business trips!! Lol

[sabrinaedwards]

Honey, find your SO a job! Seriously, I think that you will have to just gut it out. I think that you will have to be creative and find ways to get out of the house. Good luck.

[ReineD]

Kathy, maybe your wife thinks CDing is an option for you, or some sort of hobby you can
choose to engage in or not. I'm sure your wife doesn't realize that it is a part of who you are. Many GGs believe in the negative stereotypes. It is easy to think that a condition is weird or disturbing if you do not understand anything about it.

You need to tell her what the CDing means to you and also how you feel when you do not get a chance to dress. And since she already knows, would you consider having a serious conversation with her about this?

There is a sticky thread at the top of the M2F forum entitled "How to tell your partner" that might be helpful to you. Good luck!!
:hugs:

[Aleca]

Good comments here and Kathy I feel your pain. My wife and I used to be separated by work and had the space to dress up but never the time because I was working all the time. Then I moved back in with my wife and now with less work hours have no space because of course I moved to be with her. I haven't felt the freedom to dress up since last July and can't wait until early June and she leaves for the summer. Don't get me wrong, I will miss her but I've been oppressed from CDing for much longer than I have been used to the past 10 years.

[tanvi]

aye aye going out for a tour is the best solution :) where there is will there s a way keep the urge you'll defintly find a way

[randi_789]

I am in a similar situation only probably more permanent. I retired two years ago and had a lot of time to myself but this past summer my wife also retired so the chances to dress even a small bit have simply vanished. Now I look forward to the times when she goes to the store so I can slip on panties, bra and hose with the knowledge that my opportunites to dress totally have probably ended. Very depressing.

[Super Amanda]

How sad, this reminds me of my ex-wife a bit. She never knew about my dressing, though she had suspicions.
Like many of the replies here, I used to be anxious for her to leave, anywhere, store, work, a friends house, just to get some girl time in.
I needed to explore this major side of me, and as a side effect, her needs got pushed to the wayside. I started to go almost nowhere with her, and after a while, she basically fell out of love with me. Not that she is a saint, we both contributed to the demise of our relationship, but if I was just able to accept myself at that time, and tell her what was going on, I feel like I could have held things together.

This side of you will NEVER go away...The sooner you can accept that, the sooner you can begin the journey of self acceptance.

I read an e mail my ex wife had sent to my sister-in-law, laughing about how I "dress like a woman" right before we split up, and thought I would never get acceptance from them. Now I'm out to everyone, and my biggest supporters are my sister-in-law and my ex! So you never know how people can change, once they are informed.

At least she already knows you cd, that's the hard part to tell anyone. Just make sure you let her know how important this is for you, mentally, spiritually and even physically.

I hope I helped! Good luck! ;)

[Kathy4ever]

I see I'm not alone. This much I figured. My job does not make travel. I wish it did,but my wife is a person that wants me home but their is lack of intamacy as there was a long time ago, Maybe it is due to the kids but I think it started to happen less after she saw me dresseg a little. I think deep inside she knows but just thinks it is a faze.

[Georgia Rose]

H'mm, seems like a big communication problem here. Unless you discuss it with her she doesn't have any idea what CDing is about except a guy dressing up as a gal which in her mind probably means gay or transsexual. We know there is more to it than that and that you are probably neither of the above.

You were caught out and it is probably a great way to begin a conversation with her about what you are and why you do it and what it means to her and the family.

Follow the advice that is constantly on this forum; be open and honest and take it one little step at a time.

[nancyish]

Nancy here.My wife is not too happy about my CDing.She bought me panties and gave me some of hers.She also gave me some of her shorts,socks and t's.It's not as much as i want but it helps.Yes i do dress 4 real when i'm alone.

[battybattybats]

I concur that your wife needs to better understand the things you go through but exlaining it and her accepting that may take time.

Till then I suggest:

If you can play videogames try some where you can play a female character. Especially ones where you can personalise outfits etc. from World of Warcraft and Sacred to the online my-queen drag queen game that caused a bit of controversy http://www.oia.co.za/glbt/outraged-parents-attack-drag-queen-website/

Read books with female or TG characters that you can empathise with.

Not much I know but something to try and take the edge off and give you some small bit of femme in your life might help you hold together.

[Bobbi Em]

I can't add anything to the advice already given. Just wanted to throw my support in. And please keep in mind that few 3-D world situations are permanent. You have a lot of good things going for you, including this wonderful Community, and you WILL get through this.

LUV

Bobbi

[MelissaPaige]

I graduated with an MBA from a ranked school last May and have not been able to land a full-time position. So I moved back in with my parents who do NOT approve of me. I've dressed as myself like five times in about ten months. So it's kind of similar to you. The two things that have helped me are a strengthening relationship with Jesus and the support of friends. Without either of those, it would be very difficult. And also shopping. I'm picky and cheap so I can afford it and be excited about the day when I can wear that top or pants or dress or...

[Stephanie32]

I was in a similar situation where CDing was going to destroy my life. I also couldn't accept idea that nobody was worthy of gods salvation, including non-violent sex offenders with their own unique urges. I started going to an evangelical church, and embraced spirituality, maintaining the belief that the soul is stronger than the desires of the flesh. That was 6 months ago. The urges have become less intense, and the frequency of dressing has diminished. This might not work for everybody, but it has worked for me, so far.

[Jan Michell Collins]

I'm in the same boat sweetie I have to save up some $$$$ for a motel room for a afternoon real soon !!!!!!

[Raychel]

I know just where you are coming from. My wife has been a bit supportive in the past, But has grown very cold towards the whole idea lately. I find myself hiding more and more from her. I have been feeling a bit depressed about the whole matter lately. When I do get time it is only for a few minutes at a time. And usually in the missle of the night when the rest of the world is sleeping. :sad:

Hopefully her opinion wil switch back and she won't be so objective to the idea.