Fear of not finding a relationship...and being alone

[tgirlinva]

One of the hesitations I have in transitioning is that I will end up alone without anyone by my side. In transitioning, I lost my family and most of my friends. I feel very alone and when I think about this loneliness, I can only imagine about how deeper it will get. There are plenty of TS chasers out there, those that want to have sex with you or that have a curious side, but very very little men who are confident and secure about themselves to date a woman who was born male. Straight men have this blockade in their head. I tell myself it will be okay, but I think that it's a false sense of security. I know how hard it is for GG to find a decent man, I think my chances are even lower if not non-existent. It's sad.

[crystalann]

I have the same feeling. Because of my gender issues I never did want to be with someone. But now that I am fixing things in the back of my mind I feel there is no one out there. But my transition is worth it and we never know what is out there for us. As in a friend of mine felt the same way, and she was trying to get me out more. So we went to the loco support meeting and she found someone. My feeling is just make yourself happy and others will want to be around you and just keep looking. Best of luck

[Sammy777]

I know how hard it is for GG to find a decent man, I think my chances are even lower if not non-existent. It's sad.

NO - they are not.

Look around on here for proof of that.
I know of at least two other ts girls on here who are in relationships with nice "straight" guys.

It does happen,so don't give up hope that easily.

[Jenna1561]

I have very similar feelings also. My transition is destroying my marriage and I miss the small intimacies of a partner: the touches, the caresses, the kisses. Like you I don't know if I'll ever find anyone to share my future, but I know that I can't go back and that I am happier now, even if I'm alone.

Jen

[shirley1]

Well I have been alone for almost 12 years now, long before I decided to transition. So I guess in many ways I should be used to it. I am but in transition it would help massively to have someone to support me on a regular basis, friends are fine but its that having someone to talk to and more importantly see as a person there to help and support you.

The isolation that you can feel in the early stages of transition is unreal, I never realised just how much I needed someone as much as I do right now, and I am used to be being alone and at least always thought I was strong as a person, this is the biggest test of my life, let no one say that transitioning is easy, maybe for some it is, but many of us its damn hard.

My advice is you have to open your mind up to all types of relationships, some more based on friendship, maybe trust, its works for some others so I know that its possible !

[Veronica_Jean]

I also have had that fear of being alone. I really want to have a relationship, but I doubt it will happen for me.

At the same time, I cannot stop being who I am and so I continue on. I know the future is not cast in stone so who knows what may happen. My therapist agrees with your point of view and was quite blunt about it. Perhaps I am too much an optimist to believe there is no hope.

I am coming to realize more every day that the world is a lot different than I imagined in terms of how I am perceived and treated. Maybe it is a sign of changing times, or maybe I am just lucky. I was in the local grocery store talking to the checkout clerk who knows of my transition. He asked if I was mor comfortable, and I told him about my day at a local amusement park yesterday. He asked if anyone stared, or said or did anything to upset me, and before I could answer the bag girl asked, Upset about what? Apparently she either could not tell I was trans, or it never occurred to her that trans people are or could be treated differently.

My point is we never know what may happen, and to let fear of the unknown stop us from being true to ourselves is never the right path. So follow your heart and be true to yourself.

Veronica

[Karen564]

Personally, if I was to get involved in another relationship right now, it would distract me from my transition, and I dont need to add any more distractions that I already have, relationships take work to make it work, and I just dont have the time or energy to do that now..I need to focus on my needs for once, not someone else's, other than my daughters, because they will always come 1st..
Once my transition is complete after the surgery, then I will focus on something else..:o

[Mistybtm]

I have been alone for abought 5 years now it does make me think from time to time but i love my cding and being bi it will be hard to find a so who will except this.

[Siobhan Marie]

I was in a relationship and have been on my own for over a year now. I do miss having someone in my life and I admit that. But for the sake of needing to be, I personally don't feel that I can be with someone until I'm as right as I can be. Just my :2c: worth :love: :hugs::hugs::hugs:

[Anna the Dub]

But for the sake of needing to be, I personally don't feel that I can be with someone until I'm as right as I can be.

I feel the same way. My best friend told me I should not limit myself like that, but I said to her that I would feel uncomfortable getting intimate with someone as I have that extra 'thing' down there, and my body does not currently match my personality, although it is getting there. I have been alone a long, long time and realistically cannot see that ending.

[Carole Cross]

My last relationship ended 18 months ago and I have been alone since then. I do have my family for support, thankfully, so I do not need to find anyone right now. I do believe that everyone has hope of finding a partner, but very few relationships last forever these days so we are all going to be alone at some point. I felt very alone before coming out to my family because I feared they would reject me.

[Anna the Dub]

The only other perspective I would like to add here is that as a primarily lesbian TS, chances of finding a female long-term partner are even worse, especially if you are sensitive. With dating men, at least there are TS chasers one can pick from, although not the ideal match. With dating women, you have to put yourself out there and accept that you will be rejected about 10,000 times more often than the "regular" heterosexual male will be rejected, and just hope you won't be crushed and humiliated and outed in public life after putting yourself out there. It made me question how much happier I will be overall if I go further with transition. Every attempt to date would be a potential social suicide. I am not saying that it is not possible to find someone, just that the probability goes down too low and I am too sensitive to be happy after being rejected that often. When I evaluate every aspect of my life and everything I would need to give up to transition, I think I may be happier overall living as a male part-time cross dresser, than as a full-time trans woman. This is not necessarily true for all transsexuals.

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I too question how happy I will be after transition. But I feel I have to do it anyway as at the moment I am just treading water. I don't think I could accept your possible solution, living as a male part-time cder, I feel I need to be a full time trans woman. But I do think I will end up alone, and that makes me feel sad, but it is something I will have to live with.

[Karen564]

But I do think I will end up alone, and that makes me feel sad, but it is something I will have to live with.

Anna, Please dont think that way,
the thing is, none of us really knows what the future has in store for us, it's one of those things that we will have to just live our lives and wait to see what our destiny is..
Finding True Love can never be calculated or planned, it just comes when two people cross the same path at some point in time and either it will happen or it will not happen until it's truly meant to be..if it's not meant to be and is forced one way or another, it will end in disaster later in time..

But 1st things 1st, we must be rock solid in our true selves , inside & out before any prospective partner can see us as we truly are once were settled into our new way of life, like what you see is what you get, take it or leave it, I am what I am, and also believe there is that Right someone on this planet for everyone, but it takes time for those two people to find each other and connect..
So my thought on it is, you can't go looking for it, but it will happen when you may least expect it, because that is our destiny..when that is, No one really knows..
So dont worry, you will not be confined to loneliness for the rest of your life, that right someone is out there for you somewhere and will meet someday...

And that goes for the rest of you girls or guy's too..
:hugs:

[StevieTV]

I'm a closet TS and am alone. I've always been alone and have come to accept it. Society has placed such a high standard on being "coupled". I'm fine being single. It's a lifestyle I enjoy albeit an "alternate" one at that.
My best epiphany was that I don't require someone else to make me happy. :)

[LisaM]

This is a wonderful post---you all share all of the fears that I have had since I first thought of transitioning way back in the late 1970's.

I didn't transition because the Johns Hopkins clinic was closed then and I chose another path but this gender issue never left--it is still here and is a cloud over me every day.

I married and had children and they have brought great joy to my life so the thought of being alone is discomforting but not unbearable because I have always been a solitary person and I suspect that is because of my gender issues.

I always worried about being alone and ostrasized but the longer I am around I realize that there is so much we can all do to be apart of our local community. There are churches and food banks and senior citizen programs; there are so many ways to be out in your community even if you are TS. I find that some people seem to be more understanding--I'm tall (6'3") and I have been out enough to see other people react to me.

There are many different people out there and I would encourage all of you to follow your dreams and do your best to integrate yourself into your communities and search for friendship---maybe along the way you'll find love. Ifnot then you will still have lived a whole life and been apart of a community.

[alphanumeric]

NO - they are not.

Look around on here for proof of that.
I know of at least two other ts girls on here who are in relationships with nice "straight" guys.

It does happen,so don't give up hope that easily.

I've never personally understood this attitude of only dating "straight" men.

Attracting a straight man usually involves being deep stealth when approaching someone your interested in. And we all know the sad but likely outcome of such scenarios.

Sure, most men interested in transgendered MTF's are only interested in the perceived sexual aspect of such individuals, but it's usually fairly easy to spot them and the best way to find out if they're only after one thing is to ask them to meet somewhere public. That usually clears the room of chasers.

There are men who are interested in TG's for something other than a body part. But most TG's dismiss us as at best Bi. Gay at worst.

I guess my point is what does a person's perceived sexual orientation have to do with whether or not he has a true and genuine interest in you?

I believe alot of women have turned away true happiness due to not expanding their own personal horizons.

And don't think that meeting a good man is any harder for you than a natal female. They have the same complaint as well. (and to be sure probably the same reaction to a supposed Bi man.)

Any strong relationship is based on trust regardless of any other considerations. And a straight man is just as likely to cheat as a bi man. But their also just as likely to be faithful and true.

Remember that.

My personal :2c:

[kellycan27]

I've never personally understood this attitude of only dating "straight" men.

Attracting a straight man usually involves being deep stealth when approaching someone your interested in. And we all know the sad but likely outcome of such scenarios.

Sure, most men interested in transgendered MTF's are only interested in the perceived sexual aspect of such individuals, but it's usually fairly easy to spot them and the best way to find out if they're only after one thing is to ask them to meet somewhere public. That usually clears the room of chasers.

There are men who are interested in TG's for something other than a body part. But most TG's dismiss us as at best Bi. Gay at worst.

I guess my point is what does a person's perceived sexual orientation have to do with whether or not he has a true and genuine interest in you?

I believe alot of women have turned away true happiness due to not expanding their own personal horizons.

And don't think that meeting a good man is any harder for you than a natal female. They have the same complaint as well. (and to be sure probably the same reaction to a supposed Bi man.)

Any strong relationship is based on trust regardless of any other considerations. And a straight man is just as likely to cheat as a bi man. But their also just as likely to be faithful and true.

Remember that.

My personal :2c:

Consider this..... I am not into the "scene" I don't frequent gay bars or TG venues. I live work, and play in the mainstream. Most of the men that I meet or who are attracted to me seem to be ( I don't know everyone's preferences) straight. When I was dating..... my choices were mostly limited to straight guys.

[Aubrey Green]

Hey, I haven't had a date in 8 years! I have no one to blame but myself. I took a job upgrade a little over 9 years ago, but my job is 50 miles south of where I live. So I get up at 5 a.m., leave the house by 6:30 and do not get home until around 7 p.m. If I meet someone where I work, I have no change of clothes or shower facilities, and if I meet someone where I live, by the time I shower and dress, it is around 9 and I am yawning big time. I can't afford to move to where I work, because house prices are about double here as well as trying to rent. So being alone, if I transition, would not be that much different, except I may feel better inside. :daydreaming:

[4serrus]

I would like to point out that queer folk do not only exist in specially-appointed bars... you have no way of knowing the personal tastes of that person sitting across from you on the bus, or at the restaurant. After all, s'not like we wear giant collars around our necks that say I LIKE DUDES!. Just sayin :P

[kellycan27]

I would like to point out that queer folk do not only exist in specially-appointed bars... you have no way of knowing the personal tastes of that person sitting across from you on the bus, or at the restaurant. After all, s'not like we wear giant collars around our necks that say I LIKE DUDES!. Just sayin :P

Besides that, gay guys don't find me attractive...:heehee: can't please everyone I guess.
Kelly

[Sejd]

To think that your gender presentation is an obstacle for a deep and loving relationship is just not right. If you do some research among your friends you will probably see that everyone is struggling with this issue. Straight, queer, Trans, whatever - relationships are hard, and it is not easy to find a soul mate no matter what gender you are or represent. Just focus on becoming a happy and giving individual, I guarantee you, the rest will follow.
Good luck
Sejd

[Lisa Golightly]

What happened to your boyfriend?... I remember you were coupled up a while back...

I've never had a problem attracting people. All genders... all persuasions... have shown an interest... and I don't really mind who I'm with as unsuprisingly being the girl I am I kind of look beyond genitalia. I have my preferences, but equally I'm the curious sort... always ready to experience something new... cool! :)

My problem is I have great difficulty in maintaining a relationship... Whether it is my transsexuality, my working hours, my dull personality, my black moods, my choice in music, my taste in clothes, the fact I still sleep with a teddy bear... Oh there's always something someone will take exception to... or indeed a combination.

I personally feel if you're bright, personable, and make an effort you'll be surprised at who wanders your way. I honestly think it is my personality that attracts people and my inner insecurities that drive them away...

You can't demand love of a person, but you can make yourself a person who lights up the room and people brighten on seeing... I'd love to be one of those peeps... lol... I keep trying and maybe one day I'll succeed.

Whether the person is heterosexual male, bisexual male, gay male, transguy, transgirl, heterosexual female, bisexual female, lesbian, University Professor, crossdresser or trainspotter... makes absolutely no difference to me... I just want love.

I do get a little kick if a heterosexual guy or a lesbian girl chat me up... I see this as absolutely natural as it panders to my female ego, but when it comes down to partners all bets are off and personality and loveability are king.

[Deb The Brunette]

I've never had a problem attracting people. All genders... all persuasions... have shown an interest... I honestly think it is my personality that attracts people and my inner insecurities that drive them away...


Whether the person is heterosexual male, bisexual male, gay male, transguy, transgirl, heterosexual female, bisexual female, lesbian, University Professor, crossdresser or trainspotter... makes absolutely no difference to me... I just want love.



Ditto Here

Hey I could have written all this so thanks lisa for saving me the trouble


.

[melissaK]

I suspect that if you are afraid of being alone because you will be rejected for TS issues after you are out, you were probably afraid of being alone and that you would be rejected for some other reason before you decided to consider life out of the gender closet.

Goodness, I sometimes fear being alone too. But I can't let that fear rule me. I know to never give up. You just never know. We are each such a mix of values, beliefs, intelligence, looks, it's a wonder we can ever find a friend, let alone a companion - but we mostly do. Find a lifelong companion? Almost no one does that, (divorce rate is prime proof of that) but most of us find some good companions to share a few miles of life's journey with.
It's what we humans do.

hugs,
'lissa

[CharleneT]

What happened to your boyfriend?... I remember you were coupled up a while back...

I've never had a problem attracting people. All genders... all persuasions... have shown an interest... and I don't really mind who I'm with as unsuprisingly being the girl I am I kind of look beyond genitalia. I have my preferences, but equally I'm the curious sort... always ready to experience something new... cool! :)

My problem is I have great difficulty in maintaining a relationship... Whether it is my transsexuality, my working hours, my dull personality, my black moods, my choice in music, my taste in clothes, the fact I still sleep with a teddy bear... Oh there's always something someone will take exception to... or indeed a combination.

I personally feel if you're bright, personable, and make an effort you'll be surprised at who wanders your way. I honestly think it is my personality that attracts people and my inner insecurities that drive them away...

You can't demand love of a person, but you can make yourself a person who lights up the room and people brighten on seeing... I'd love to be one of those peeps... lol... I keep trying and maybe one day I'll succeed.

Whether the person is heterosexual male, bisexual male, gay male, transguy, transgirl, heterosexual female, bisexual female, lesbian, University Professor, crossdresser or trainspotter... makes absolutely no difference to me... I just want love.

I do get a little kick if a heterosexual guy or a lesbian girl chat me up... I see this as absolutely natural as it panders to my female ego, but when it comes down to partners all bets are off and personality and loveability are king.


BINGO !

While fear of ending up alone is a big one for me, I try and remind myself that the last three people I've dated met me while I was in female mode. Two of the three fell for me quickly, even though they were well aware of my status. Now those relationships did not work out, but the points above definitely apply. There is not a "for sure", but if you get out and socialize you'll stand a decent chance of meeting someone(s) who will accept you as you are, and might love you for who you are.

Thanks Lisa, very well put !

Charlene

[Kimmy55]

I seem to be in the same boat as Jenna.Such is life I guess

[deja true]

The only way to enhance your chances of meeting a partner is to get your butt out there and meet lots more people of every kind. Prolly the majority won't be attracted to you "in that way", but by meeting them and then their friends and then their friends, you widen the circle of possibities. Staying at home watching cable tv is a sure fire way NOT to meet anybody (except the dorky cable guy!) Ya don't have to hang out in bars! Go volunteer somewhere a few days a week. Go back to school. Join some clubs and get on committees. Join a biker gang!

And the fear of getting old alone? Feh! Who says you can't make yourself a family rather than just look for a lover. A group of unrelated and non-partnered-up people can be a supportive and rewarding family just as much as the traditional couple arrangement.
A lot fewer people are hooked up these days as they approach their later years. Alternative living arrangements with friends may be the way forward for some.

Heck I'm saving up to move into an all-tranny assisted living facility! Can't wait for bingo night!

:D

[Empress Lainie]

I want to know where that facility is!

I thought when I transitioned that it would not be likely that a gg or even a gm would be interested in a 72 yr old (then) tranny.

Surprisingly to me I have had a number of men flirt with me and also their wives, and many single gg's.

But I met my SO at the first tg meeting I went to and we have been together since 2 months after that, wow, 2 years now. She has no interest in sex, and I really don't care.

But I have a very loving and concerned partner who would stand by me in any event. Also my former girlfriend after she came to terms with my transition is another person who loves me. She treats my partner like a daughter.(She is only 33).

[kellycan27]

I understand exactly where you are coming from. I too question how happy I will be after transition. But I feel I have to do it anyway as at the moment I am just treading water. I don't think I could accept your possible solution, living as a male part-time cder, I feel I need to be a full time trans woman. But I do think I will end up alone, and that makes me feel sad, but it is something I will have to live with.

I did a post a thread a while back, about this wonderful man who I was totally gaga over.. He had no clue how I felt about him,went away, for a year and came back..professing his love for me, wanting to be with me,etc,etc,etc. WOW! My dream was coming true. I met someone who accepted me, never thought it would happen! I also had been of the opinion that I was destined to be alone. I wasn't really a girl, but I wasn't even close to being a man..... who's going to want to be with a freak like me??? So see..it can happen!

The story doesn't end there, and nope we didn't walk off into the sunset hand in hand. Turned out that he was a liar, and even worse.. a cheat. The first time I caught him cheating, I was hurt,but s**T happens, he convinced me (or I convinced myself) that it was a one time thing. He was woefully sorry, and swore it wouldn't happen again. I bought it.....
Wrong! I caught him again, I was heart broken, We're talking crushed! How could he do this to me? I put my all into this man, he was my world.
My life is over, I'll never find someone who truly loves me, for me..Own it Kelly!
Being alone is better than being treated like s**T.But, being alone wasn't my dream.My dream was to fully transition,find someone to love and to love me in return. Live a happy vanilla (or as close to) life as i could get.
I could go on, but I'll cut to the chase.
I could resign myself to the fact that I was living in a fantsay world or I could suck it up and keep following my dream. I chose to keep the faith. I met someone else, and so far things are going very well. My point being that there are kind and loving people out there. You just have to avail yourself.
God, if we can survive this insane transitioning thing,we must be a lot stronger than we think. How many times have we been knocked down, only to get back up, dust ourselves off and move forward? Personally I have come too far and suffered too much to give up on myself or my dream. If my present relationship fizzles.... I'll keep looking until I find one that works.
I don't want to look back in 20 years and say, I should have tried harder, or should have done this or done that. Life is way to short to be unhappy or alone for that matter. Our lives are hard...it's hard,it hurts, and sometimes it down right sucks... I love mine and i am not quitting.

[Gerard]

I'm a male CD and I am attracted to women.
If it's any help to you, I do find some TS women attractive, it depends on the person, their persona and if they are able to trigger enough of the female queues.
For example, I would not mind dating someone like: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JRCnYPSsSdE

I'm attracted to women, even if some are born male.

[MJ]

I have very similar feelings also. My transition is destroying my marriage and I miss the small intimacies of a partner: the touches, the caresses, the kisses. Like you I don't know if I'll ever find anyone to share my future, but I know that I can't go back and that I am happier now, even if I'm alone.
Jen

And that is the key. i am very happy. and i'm just not sure what i will end up with guy / girl.

so if someone comes along great if not great too. only God knows

[Katelyn]

I too feel the same way. I've been alone for about 3 years now. Right now I'm at that intersection where I'm really considering transitioning and I fear that if I find someone right now, it will only end in disaster. I just have to find a little faith.

[vivian10]

Being alone sucks and its worse at christmas than any other time.
so we are all agreed.

Too many people pigeon hole themselves, put a big imaginary sign post around their necks that says, i only want a straight man to marry me.

Open your mind a bit, create opportunities by expanding your social contacts, join some clubs, socialise, do some night classes, go clubbing and dont just restrict yourself to gay or transgender clubs.

Make friends with people some of the strongest and most loving relationships have been built on friendships.

And just get out enjoy life why dont you, stop feeling sorry and hard done by, life is just too damm short.

Find something new and wonderous each day, really look at the world around you, just take off the bloody blinkers and get on with it.

Is that too strong??

[kellycan27]

Being alone sucks and its worse at christmas than any other time.
so we are all agreed.

Too many people pigeon hole themselves, put a big imaginary sign post around their necks that says, i only want a straight man to marry me.

Open your mind a bit, create opportunities by expanding your social contacts, join some clubs, socialise, do some night classes, go clubbing and dont just restrict yourself to gay or transgender clubs.

Make friends with people some of the strongest and most loving relationships have been built on friendships.

And just get out enjoy life why dont you, stop feeling sorry and hard done by, life is just too damm short.

Find something new and wonderous each day, really look at the world around you, just take off the bloody blinkers and get on with it.

Is that too strong??

Hmmmm.... an imaginary sign post saying I only want a str8 guy to marry me......but don't restrict your self to gay or transgender clubs.So if you don't look for the str8 guys, and you stay away from the gay and transgendered spots.. where are you supposed to meet these.... what ever is left over guys?
As I mentioned before I personally date straight guys because straight guys seem to be the majority of men that I meet, during my everyday comings and goings. Your post in not to strong, nor is it realistic. "Find something new and wonderous each day" What the heck is that all about? These people have lives and jobs and real day to day rigors to kep them busy. Do they just drop into fantasy land ..where everything is perfect?

[Sammy777]

Find something new and wonderous each day, really look at the world around you, just take off the bloody blinkers and get on with it.

I see you are new here vivian10 and don't have an avatar yet.
Allow me to suggest one based on the above statement:
http://www.nerve.com/CS/blogs/modernmaterialist/2009/04/bob_ross_1.jpg



Too many people pigeon hole themselves, put a big imaginary sign post around their necks that says, i only want a straight man to marry me.

Open your mind a bit, create opportunities by expanding your social contacts, join some clubs, socialise, do some night classes, go clubbing and dont just restrict yourself to gay or transgender clubs.

Yes - Remember Neo - There is no spoon! :lol2:

Yes - Expand! Meet new people everyday...........
Just make sure they are not TG, CD, TS, BI, Gay or Lesbian. Right?
Oh and for Heavens sake make sure they are not Straight either, because we don't want none of them kind round here neither huh?

Don't bother dating or looking for a straight partner.
WHY? Afraid you might find one?
Don't go to gay/lesbian tg, ts clubs.
WHY? I though we were supposed to find new friends!
And if "We" shouldn't "live the dream" and look for a str8 partner then why not look here for something different?


Make friends with people some of the strongest and most loving relationships have been built on friendships.

WAIT A MINUTE! How can I do that if I don't go anywhere "we" or the "normal" people go to socialize????? :doh:


stop feeling sorry and hard done by, life is just too damm short.

WHY NOT VIV? Seems to work for you right? [see below]


Being alone sucks and its worse at christmas than any other time. so we are all agreed.

Soooooooo maybe after your done painting your "Happy Tree" you can tell us where exactly to go.... [Because a place pops up in my mind thinking of you.] to meet someone.

And oh by the way...........
Not all of us are looking for a str8 guy in shining armor on a white horse.
Some of us are looking to find that other striking figure on a white horse: Lady Godiva. So there :tongueout

Too strong for ya?

ps- welcome to the forum.

[Donnadcd]

I have very similar feelings also. My transition is destroying my marriage and I miss the small intimacies of a partner: the touches, the caresses, the kisses. Like you I don't know if I'll ever find anyone to share my future, but I know that I can't go back and that I am happier now, even if I'm alone.

Jen


I'm seeing more and more that the decision to transition is never regretted by anyone here - although it does create a great deal of collateral damage in the process. It really does help me to guide me in choosing the direction that I should take. Each of us has (or will) take that leap of faith - and it definitely is the right one for anyone in our situation. Not transitioning comes at an even greater personal cost to us as individuals. This has been a great help to me in making my decisions. Good luck to all.

One day, I hope to meet at least one of us in person to hear it all first hand from someone who has been through it.

[metalguy639]

Speaking from the other side of the spectrum, I pretty much feel the same way like I'd never find a guy (yeah I'm gay...) that could do the FTM thing. No matter who you are and where you are in transition its hard to be with, look for, find & keep a significant other in your life. We are all very special people who have special lifestyles and it takes a really strong man or woman to be able to handle dating someone who was a different gender in a different lifetime. But they are out there, people do exist out there that would love & nourish someone who is in or done with transition. The key is to keep your mind open, you never know when you will find the right person.

Here's a good example in video of a trans girl finding a straight guy: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=c3qKCsJOtI8