I'm Such a Girl!

[windycissy]

I broke a nail yesterday, and I've been in a deep funk ever since...I'm such a girl! And that's not all, I'm fanatical about my purse matching my shoes, and my lingerie has to be the same color as my outfits even though nobody (well, almost nobody) sees them but me...am I the only one like this?

[Super Amanda]

You are NOT the only one... I worked in a floor tile warehouse (back before the economy took a dump and I got laid off :( .... ) and if I either broke a nail, or worse, injured my arms or hands like a scratch or scrape, I would be depressed for days...

[CharlotteDeneice]

Hello, I am sorry that you broke your nail.We girls love our nails,and I am going out tommorow on my birthday all dressed up in the town that i live in.I don't care no more.It is the freedom of us girls to go where we want.Let's start going out as much as possible,but I know that all girls can't go out every day as I can.I am going to get my nails done at a local nail salon,and makeup,and then I am going out to eat at a local eating place. Love Charlotte Deneice

[ReineD]

Windy, it will get better with time. If you've spent the majority of your adult life suppressing Windy and you've developed the CDing more fully in recent years, then you are at the "beginning" of your womanhood.

When I was a very young woman, it was disastrous when I had a bad haircut, or if I went out having forgotten to put on mascara. The value I placed on myself was very dependent on how I looked. This is not the case anymore. If I break a nail or I discover while out that I have a run in my stockings I know that most people won't notice. If I get a bad haircut, I know it will grow back. I do feel more confident in myself than I did 30 years ago and it feels so much better. No more funks about the little things! :)

[Lisa Golightly]

I'm only paranoid if I'm going out... The rest of the time I'm a bit of a shambles :) x

[Carole Cross]

I do get upset when I break a nail or scratch my arm or leg, where before it never really bothered me.

[Karren H]

I have a stick welder and we can weld that nail back together if you like... 16D? :D

[Diane Elizabeth]

I also get in a bit of a funk when I break a nail. Afterall, it took me over 50 years to break my nail biting habit. Now that I don't bite them I want them to look nice.

[Kate Simmons]

Ain't easy being a girl Windy. There is a saying for that y'know: "Put on your big girl panties and deal with it." They even have T-shirts. Such is life.:)

[Angie G]

I got a big scape on the front of my left leg about 6 inches from the foot. The first think that came to mind was that's gonna look like S*^t in hose. And I'm always breaking nails.:hugs:
Angie

[TGMarla]

No, you're not alone here. This is all important stuff. No one said it was easy being a girl. It's good to see that you have your priorities straight.

[Dressing Jill]

Hi Windy

When I break a nail I rush to salon and get it fixed. Fortunately I haven't broke one at night.

[windycissy]

Thanks girls, I feel much better about it this morning! In a way having one broken nail makes me more genuine, since this happens to real women all the time and they just file 'em down and get on with their lives...the good news is it will grow back! As Monty Python said, "Always look on the bright side of life" :)

[anonymousinmaryland]

. . . even though nobody (well, almost nobody) sees them but me . . .
Always remember, you are somebody. Anonymous in Maryland

[Joni Marie Cruz]

Hi Cissy-

Yeah, I hate breaking a nail, too, especially if I'm getting ready to go out, which is inevitably when it seems to happen. Mostly it just p*sses me off but it doesn't make me want to throw myself in front of a bus. And I am so with you on the underwear thing although I am even weirder, my underwear and sox have to match. Well, not match exactly but at least be coordinated. So if you see me wearing pink sox, well then you'll know.<lol>

Hugs...Joni Marie

[windycissy]

. . . even though nobody (well, almost nobody) sees them but me . . .
Always remember, you are somebody. Anonymous in Maryland

I was referring to the man in my life...funny, he doesn't seem to even notice a broken nail, men!

[daviolin]

I could write a book on all the things that bug me. Isn't it great being a girl? Being a real girl is probally easer, you don't have to think about the masculine side, and strike that balance. I don't mean to offend you real girls out there. Its just my feelings. :2c:Daviolin

[windycissy]

I could write a book on all the things that bug me. Isn't it great being a girl? Being a real girl is probally easer, you don't have to think about the masculine side, and strike that balance. I don't mean to offend you real girls out there. Its just my feelings. :2c:Daviolin

Wow, you have hit on a major insight: our feminine sides must be incredibly strong for us to overcome testosterone, upbringing, and all the pressures of society. Think of it: when I see a woman who could be gorgeous but doesn't do anything with herself, I say to myself "What a waste" but in reality, I am probably more innately feminine than she is...I guess if we had been born female, we'd have been off-the-chart girly-girls!

[Hali]

I have been a worrier all my life, but am mostly obsessed with my nails and my face nothing is to happen to those parts of my body. A broken nail gets me really down and a pimple on my face can force me to stay in-doors. Mostly i am not worried about what pple will say no i worry how my beauty is diminished before my very eyes, cos all my display of beauty is mostly for me. Yes and my figure, i like flat tummy and a thin waist i cant compromise. Yes and my eye brow.

[Shauna marie]

Absolutely not.

[windycissy]

I have been a worrier all my life, but am mostly obsessed with my nails and my face nothing is to happen to those parts of my body. A broken nail gets me really down and a pimple on my face can force me to stay in-doors. Mostly i am not worried about what pple will say no i worry how my beauty is diminished before my very eyes, cos all my display of beauty is mostly for me. Yes and my figure, i like flat tummy and a thin waist i cant compromise. Yes and my eye brow.

Funny, pimples used to bother me a lot more when I was a boy, now I get to cover 'em with makeup :)

Last night I was sitting in front of the TV in my sundress, glued to the Lakers game, guess I'm really a tomboy at heart! Now I'm watching The View in a skirt, feels much more natural...

[ReineD]

when I see a woman who could be gorgeous but doesn't do anything with herself, I say to myself "What a waste"

Appearance-based rejection sensitivity (http://www.news-medical.net/news/20090527/More-evidence-that-pressure-to-be-attractive-provokes-negative-outcomes.aspx) is the condition in which people of both genders but predominantly women, are afraid of being rejected based on their appearance, mostly as the result of media influence which does set an impossibly idealistic high standard for beauty. People suffering from this will become depressed when they feel their appearance does not match their own ideals for perfection. Or perhaps they are judgmental of others when they feel these others 'fall short'.

A quote from the article,


People who suffer from this condition may be putting themselves at risk for experiencing negative outcomes that may limit their development and enjoyment of life in many ways.

Indeed, previous research by Park found that appearance-based rejection sensitivity is related to negative mental and physical health outcomes, such as feeling unattractive, feeling badly about oneself when comparing one's appearance with others, feeling lonely and rejected when thinking about disliked aspects of one's appearance, and showing increased risk for eating disorders.

In reality, everyone is imperfect and each woman has her own beauty shining through if you look for it, despite a broken nail, a bad hair day, or if she is wearing sneakers and blue jeans. Her beauty lies in her self-confidence and the way in which she connects to the world around her. It lies in the way she carries herself, the tilt of her head, her laughter, her eyes, her playfulness, the freedom she feels in being herself. She glows because life for her is fulfilling. It has deep meaning beyond how she chooses to present herself in her day-to-day life.
:hugs:

[GypsyKaren]

Thank you, Reine, you put it much more politely than I would have.

Karen :wheelchair:

[Jenny Brown]

when I see a woman who could be gorgeous but doesn't do anything with herself, I say to myself "What a waste" but in reality, I am probably more innately feminine than she is...
"more innately feminine than she is" ?
comments like this never cease to amaze me... :heehee:

[DaphneGrey]

I have to agree with Jenny on this "more innately feminine than she is"? let me tell you something if you think nail polish and coordinating your unmentionables quantifies being feminine you really are clue less!

Go ahead and flame me I just don't care anymore... Long polished nails are pretty delicate lace underthings are sexy...but they are not a pre requisite for being feminine.

Look a GG who doesn't spend 45 minutes at her vanity before she leaves the house. Oh I am more of a girl than she is. I am more feminine because my bra and panties match! Do you people read this drivel before you post it. Do you honestly think women act like this, think like this, talk like this.

How is it that crossdressers can spend so much time effort and money trying to look as passable as they can , and be so off the mark about what being a woman is all about. Acting and talking like some 10 year old prissy girl in a party dress. If I have to hear one more stupid comment about shoes, or bras, or nails, the list goes on and on.

GGs the ones I know love and cherish, show there feminine nature in the way they listen, feel, touch, raise children, look into each others eyes and connect emotionally when having a conversation etc the list could go on and on.

Listen to the women around you! Have you ever heard the women in your life say such things.

And a thread later your winning about who is not taking you seriously!

I was talking to a woman not long ago who had divorced her husband who happened to be a crossdresser. I asked was it the crossdressing to which she replied "yes and no" I pressed further. She confessed that she didn't mind the dressing but couldn't stand the fact that she was married to a bimbo".

If you want to be treated like a woman grow up and act like one!

You know normally after a rant like this I would follow up with some sort of apology. Not this time. I can't begin to describe how offended I am by this type of attitude.

[windycissy]

Sheesh, I don't mind being flamed but I think you missed the point: what I said was "our feminine sides must be incredibly strong for us to overcome testosterone, upbringing, and all the pressures of society" and dress like women...I'll be the first to admit that many women are way more macho than I am, their choice. For a man to want to present himself as a woman, the female side has to be awfully strong...

[Persephone]

Wow, you have hit on a major insight: our feminine sides must be incredibly strong for us to overcome testosterone, upbringing, and all the pressures of society. Think of it: when I see a woman who could be gorgeous but doesn't do anything with herself, I say to myself "What a waste" but in reality, I am probably more innately feminine than she is...I guess if we had been born female, we'd have been off-the-chart girly-girls!

Brilliant! Absolutely! Always did figure that if I was a GG it was almost certain that I'd be a girly-girl, but never put it together like you did!

http://i3.photobucket.com/albums/y53/sandylewiscares/Smiley_trophy.gif


GGs the ones I know love and cherish, show there feminine nature in the way they listen, feel, touch, raise children, look into each others eyes and connect emotionally when having a conversation etc the list could go on and on.

While I agree with that part of what you said, Daphne, I disagree with the rest of your "rant."

I am an "out and about" crossdresser who does love and cherish, who regularly connects with my GG friends and who listens, feels and touches at a deeply emotional level, who has raised children (I was the stay-at-home "carpool mom" for my son), and who not only looks into others eyes and connects emotionally when having a conversation, but who has been the "go to" girlfriend through my GG friends marriage stresses and their divorces, and when the stress and pain has made them throw up, I've been the one who has held their hair out of the way. So I think I have "walked the walk" as well as "talked the talk."

I can clearly see what Cissy is saying, and believe that she has made a significant comment that deserves more than your distain. Perhaps it is time for you to "follow up with some sort of apology."

[GypsyKaren]

Perhaps it's time for an end to the comments about how superior y'all are to GG's or I close the thread?

Karen :wheelchair:

[allisonrn06]

I'm like this too, and being able to share this with my wife has made me more girly, that is I worry more about everything matching as you say - I try as much as possible within my limited wardrobe to make sure that it does!!

[RachelDenise]

Windy, that why we do this. To feel like a girly girl!!! Besides, I like you this way.

[VeronicaMoonlit]

How is it that crossdressers can spend so much time effort and money trying to look as passable as they can , and be so off the mark about what being a woman is all about.

Because, as I said once some years ago on USENET, IIRC: This "Thing of Ours" can make some of us a bit "Barefoot in the head"


If you want to be treated like a woman grow up and act like one!

That's the gist of it, isn't it. I think some of us are always going to be "girls". Tee hee.



You know normally after a rant like this I would follow up with some sort of apology. Not this time. I can't begin to describe how offended I am by this type of attitude.

I've seen this sort of thing before, many many times. USENET, IRC, message boards, e-mail lists. I'm old and bitter.


what I said was "our feminine sides must be incredibly strong for us to overcome testosterone, upbringing, and all the pressures of society" and dress like women...I'll be the first to admit that many women are way more macho than I am, their choice. For a man to want to present himself as a woman, the female side has to be awfully strong...

Oh please, I've seen more than my share of testosterone fueled crap from born male people in dresses. For some it really is about how they feel full of sexy sexyness in their dress and how sexy it is and how sexy they're going to feel while sexily self pleasuring their sexy selves.

Now ask me if I'm a girl. I am not, I'm 42 years old.
Ask me if I'm a woman or even like a woman yet....not yet. I haven't earned it yet. I've not done enough of "the work" which isn't surgery or hormones or learning about makeup, it's learning about the lives of women, about feminism and becoming the kind of woman other women could respect. That is the important thing.

Veronica
Rondelle (Ron) Rogers Jr.

[DaphneGrey]

While I agree with that part of what you said, Daphne, I disagree with the rest of your "rant."

I am an "out and about" crossdresser who does love and cherish, who regularly connects with my GG friends and who listens, feels and touches at a deeply emotional level, who has raised children (I was the stay-at-home "carpool mom" for my son), and who not only looks into others eyes and connects emotionally when having a conversation, but who has been the "go to" girlfriend through my GG friends marriage stresses and their divorces, and when the stress and pain has made them throw up, I've been the one who has held their hair out of the way. So I think I have "walked the walk" as well as "talked the talk."



I can clearly see what Cissy is saying, and believe that she has made a significant comment that deserves more than your distain. Perhaps it is time for you to "follow up with some sort of apology."

As for an apology not a chance! "when I see a gg who could be gorgeous and does nothing for herself I think what a waste" That is a vile comment and shows how superficial and self centered and misguided crossdressers can be.

When your out walking the walk, and being the go to girlfriend are you bonding over chipped nails? Or when your talking the talk with your ggs do you go on and on about your matching bra and panties? Give me a break!

[windycissy]

Perhaps it's time for an end to the comments about how superior y'all are to GG's or I close the thread?

Karen :wheelchair:

Karen, I don't think I ever used the term superior, I simply made the observation that there are masculine women and effeminate men, and as our society evolves it looks like the lines between the sexes will continue to blur...so a guy who puts on manliner will be no more exotic than a woman who never wears makeup or shaves her legs. Got it?

[GypsyKaren]

Wow, you have hit on a major insight: our feminine sides must be incredibly strong for us to overcome testosterone, upbringing, and all the pressures of society. Think of it: when I see a woman who could be gorgeous but doesn't do anything with herself, I say to myself "What a waste" but in reality, I am probably more innately feminine than she is...I guess if we had been born female, we'd have been off-the-chart girly-girls!

I know what you said, and what I said isn't up for debate, got it?

Karen :wheelchair:

[Jenny Brown]

Perhaps it's time for an end to the comments about how superior y'all are to GG's or I close the thread?

I agree 110% with this. This attitude and these type of "I'm so much more femme than a GG" comments make me ill. :straightface:

[Persephone]

Perhaps it's time to reframe this rather significant discussion, hopefully to clarify the perspective.

I certainly don't think that anyone is suggesting that CD's are somehow "superior" to some GG's.

Here's a possible analogy. Someone who rises from a deprived environment to societal grateness is considered to have extraordinary drive or ambition.

Clarence Thomas comes to mind as an example.


"Clarence Thomas was born in Pin Point, Georgia, a small, impoverished African American community.[2] His family are descendents of American Slaves in the American South. His father left his family when he was two years old.[3] After a house fire left them homeless, Thomas and his younger brother Myers were taken to Savannah, Georgia, where their mother worked as a domestic employee." (Wikipedia)

He rose to become an Associate Justice of the U.S. Supreme Court!

What extraordinary drive, ambition and courage! We admire that and we call it a triumph over adversity.

Now I'm not comparing our successes to those of Clarence Thomas, it's an analogy.

Certainly, when it comes to living in girl world, CD's/TG's/TS's come from a severely deprived background. We didn't get those early and teenage years. For us to achieve our feminine self-esteem, our pride, and our place in the world is quite probably a more difficult climb that that of most women who are born into girl world, who had the girlfriends and the supportive mothers and who lived in a culture that rewarded, rather than punished them, for their femininity.l

We, on the other hand, needed drive, courage, and ambition to get here. When we stand on the mountaintop, it isn't because we were born there, it's because we clawed our way up.


As for an apology not a chance! "when I see a gg who could be gorgeous and does nothing for herself I think what a waste" That is a vile comment and shows how superficial and self centered and misguided crossdressers can be.

When your out walking the walk, and being the go to girlfriend are you bonding over chipped nails? Or when your talking the talk with your ggs do you go on and on about your matching bra and panties? Give me a break!

I could easily be hurt by your tone and apparent smugness, but I'll assume it comes from naivete.

In the real world, real women who are friends constantly share lots and lots of things about their lives. So, yes, we talk about relationships, children, family, and weight, nails, hair, clothes, and we shop together as well as volunteer at our children's schools, etc.

I've been with my friends when we've had to take their kids to the emergency room for stiches, they've taken my child when I was sick, and, yes, we do tell each other about how we broke a nail and we've been known to sit with each other and talk as each has her manicure at the nail shop.

One of my friends moved out of town a few years ago and we still talk every day, sometimes a couple of times a day. We tell each other about what's going on with our kids and our lives, the deep stuff, and we are just as likely to tell each other about the sale we just scored at or exactly what we're wearing to a social event.

It's part of what's so different than "guy world," it is what girlfriends do.

[ReineD]

I don't think I ever used the term superior, I simply made the observation that there are masculine women and effeminate men,



I certainly don't think that anyone is suggesting that CD's are somehow "superior" to some GG's.

Cissy didn't say "superior". She said "more innately feminine". The rest of us are pointing out that femininity is so much more than wearing makeup, shaving legs, or wearing the "right" type of clothes. Anyone who thinks differently has much to learn.



We, on the other hand, needed drive, courage, and ambition to get here. When we stand on the mountaintop, it isn't because we were born there, it's because we clawed our way up.

No one is taking this away from you, Persephone. I admire the courage it takes for you and other CDers to overcome societal bias, shame, and self-deprecation in order to express who you are ... to finally learn and grow, often by yourselves. No one says you are not feminine.

But to say that GGs (excepting the transmen or lesbians not wanting to emphasize their femininity) who do not present themselves according to your ideals are less feminine than you is false. You need to learn to look beyond the superficiality. I say this with kindness.

[Jenny Brown]

I certainly don't think that anyone is suggesting that CD's are somehow "superior" to some GG's.

Maybe not in those exact words but I think the intended message is pretty clear. Look at the title of this thread.
IMHO, anytime any cd thinks they're more femme or more "girly" than a real GG, it's time for a reality check. :doh:

Think of it: when I see a woman who could be gorgeous but doesn't do anything with herself, I say to myself "What a waste" but in reality, I am probably more innately feminine than she is...I guess if we had been born female, we'd have been off-the-chart girly-girls!