Unisex Alternative

[Malori Cross]

I've found that underdressing in panties (and occasionally a bra) and wearing "unisex" tops, sweaters, pullovers and sox in various colors--some "femme" others less so--seems to suit my CD urges.

I rarely worry about being outed. When I wear my favorite cowl neck sweaters in cooler weather I feel like I'm doing my part to "expand the definition of what is acceptable for a GM to wear."

I don't have any overpowering need to glam up in dresses & skirts, makeup, heels, etc. (though I have worn a denim skirt or dress around the house from time to time). I sleep in an extra-long pink tee-style nightshirt. I once answered the door in a white & blue cowl neck lounger when a guy friend dropped by (his only comment being "nice dress," which I assured him it wasn't).

I still have a full head of (salt & pepper) hair in my fifties. I tell stylists to give me "unisex" haircuts. I wear one earring (might get another if the Pink Fog hits again) and sometimes wear a black leather shoulder bag, too. I've only been mistaken for a woman once (that I know of & that was just fun!).

Nobody in this small New England town seems to care. It works for me. Maybe we're all making this harder on ourselves than we need to. Maybe a compromise will suffice for some of us. Being all "In Your Face" about our CD identity may be just too over-the-top for gaining more acceptance from the rest of the world (this in reference to another thread about Gay Pride day).

What do you young ladies think? I'm happy being unisex. Anybody else?

[gennee]

Malori, I love your post. Each person is different. I wear panties all the time. I'll wear a bra when in drab. I go out quite a bit in public. I just want to be my real self.

I see that you've found a happy median and that's great.

Gennee

[gender_blender]

I'm happier appearing androgynous at my current career than I was living in Maine, but then again I was working fulltime as female at the Bangor Sears for a year, which was nice.

[Julogden]

Hi Malori,

Glad that you've found your niche, but everyone is different, so what works for one may not work for another. While you can be happy with a bit of androgyny, others require more, some can get by with even less.

Carol

[Sophia de la luz]

I'm pretty much in the same situation... I dress in women's clothing all the time, but it's pretty tame stuff. No one seems to care much. It works for me, at least for now.

[Phyliss]

The only "boy" thing I'm wearing in this picture is my watch

Shirt from Layne Bryant
Trousers from Fashionb Bug
Shoes from Payless

Underthings that can't be seen from Leggs Hanes Bali outlet, a local lingerie store and thwe stockings from the local grocery store.

[Malori Cross]

I'm happier appearing androgynous at my current career than I was living in Maine, but then again I was working fulltime as female at the Bangor Sears for a year, which was nice.
Charlie:

You're drop-dead gorgeous (I saw your other sites) and I envy how truly feminine you look. It must be fun--but I can't imagine working in a Bangor Sears!! Gahh! Good luck with the modeling career!

[lovecowls]

Malori,

I completely agree with your opinions!

I am not really interested in dressing in full out make-up, high heels, but like a more conservative transition.

I like to think I enjoy the best of both worlds. In some cases, men's clothing is great. In others, women's clothing can be beaten.

The feel and look of a fuzzy angora sweater is just something that most men should try.

I do like to try to challenge what is considered to be acceptable - like wearing a cowlneck in public, wearing short sleeve sweaters, capris, and more. I find that short sleeve sweaters (angora, cashmere, etc) tend to get more comments or questions. And I am more than willing to talk with people and try to help them understand it doesn't matter what is worn at all...

[battybattybats]

I find that the unisex style helps, but that I still need full femme from time to time.

[Malori Cross]

Malori,

I completely agree with your opinions!

I am not really interested in dressing in full out make-up, high heels, but like a more conservative transition.

I like to think I enjoy the best of both worlds. In some cases, men's clothing is great. In others, women's clothing can be beaten.

The feel and look of a fuzzy angora sweater is just something that most men should try.

I do like to try to challenge what is considered to be acceptable - like wearing a cowlneck in public, wearing short sleeve sweaters, capris, and more. I find that short sleeve sweaters (angora, cashmere, etc) tend to get more comments or questions. And I am more than willing to talk with people and try to help them understand it doesn't matter what is worn at all...

We have some very similar tastes! I've worn cowl neck sweaters in public for years, to the point that I just think of them as part of my regular wardrobe. I think most anyone--male or female--should consider wearing them, as well as, as you suggest, short-sleeve sweaters. I just haven't found any that I think I would want to wear. Also, the concept of short-sleeve sweaters seems a bit odd, I mean, I wear sweaters in cold weather, and short sleeves in hot weather (keep in mind I do live in Maine, after all!).

I also keep telling myself to try something in angora--I'll bet it's even nicer than cashmere.

PS: I like your "Lovecowls" name--wish I'd thought of it!

[shannonsilk]

I understand where you're going with this. I think it helps when men (as men) push the boundaries of what is acceptable.
Yester day I had a few hours out in femme mode which I found fun. Today I am wearing women's shorts that are a little too short for a guy, and a female top which is a little diff from the guy stuff I usually wear.
Sometimes I underdress, sometimes I outerdress (gender blend , androgynous ) and sometimes I go drag. They each have their own merits and are enjoyable.

[Michaella]

Hello Malori,

If that makes you happy then good for you. We should all be able to find that which makes us happy.

I do enjoy androgyny / gender bending. I have worn blouses, skirts, high heels, nylons, nail polish, dangling earrings, and make-up, all while clearly presenting myself as a male, though usually only one or two of these things at a time. And I regularly wear pink shirts, small earrings, floral prints etc, and have very long hair (though it's more like a heavy-metal rock look than anything femme.) Certainly I underdress as much as I can.

For a long time I did not try to go out and try to pass. It was only when I did that I found how much I liked it, and then the private full-dressing and gender bending were less satisfying. But I only did it maybe a dozen times all told, not sure I will risk it again, and I find myself going back to more like your approach. But I don't think I find it as satisfying as you do. I'm a bit jealous that you can find such happiness!

Michaella

[Sam-antha]

Hi there, Malori,
Just a word, a thought really concerning underdressed bras. Do make sure with an extra mirror, that the back strap does not show. It would surely be unerving to find out that it did show through.
~Samm

[linnea]

I enjoy full femme as much as possible, but when I can't do that, I wear fem underthings and as much on the outside as I think that I can get away with without raising too many questions or eyebrows.

[lovecowls]

We have some very similar tastes! I've worn cowl neck sweaters in public for years, to the point that I just think of them as part of my regular wardrobe. I think most anyone--male or female--should consider wearing them, as well as, as you suggest, short-sleeve sweaters. I just haven't found any that I think I would want to wear. Also, the concept of short-sleeve sweaters seems a bit odd, I mean, I wear sweaters in cold weather, and short sleeves in hot weather (keep in mind I do live in Maine, after all!).

I also keep telling myself to try something in angora--I'll bet it's even nicer than cashmere.

PS: I like your "Lovecowls" name--wish I'd thought of it!

You should definitely try short sleeve sweaters sometime. For me it is all about the fabric, and I definately prefer soft, luxurious fabrics like angora, cashmere, even mohair. Men do not get much opportunity to wear these materials (esp angora and mohair). For me, there is nothing like a short sleeve (cap sleeves are great) fuzzy angora sweater in either a regular crewneck or a turtleneck / cowlneck. Kind of like the sweaters girls wore in the 50's. With these sweaters, they can be pretty much be worn anytime of the year. I usually pair these types of tops with more low key things like women's jeans/cords, etc.

I agree that cowlnecks should be worn by all - such a great design. I used to only do sweaters in cowlnecks, but now I have started to try regular shirts too - so comfortable!

[paulaN]

Hi Malori. Nice to see another Maine girl here.
I do the undressed thing every day. Plus I wear girl jeans all the time now and I have two pair of girl shorts that I wear. I just got my second pair. I was going to return them because I could have gone to a smaller size. Then I thought wait a minute if they are a little loose I can wear them in boy mode, so I kept them. As you know girl shorts are for the most part way shorter than those ugly long past the knees,baggy boy shorts. I hate them, I love my girl shorts. I wish it would warm up a little so I could wear them more. Maine sheesh!!!!! I need to break out my sweaters again. ttyl